I Hate Everything About You
by ScaliaFics94
Summary: AU: Instead of Barry growing up with Iris and Joe they remain neighbors. Their relationship can be explained in two words; mutual distaste. Not only does The Flash save her, but he knows her name. Cocky!Barry. Set in high school. (WestAllen) Multichapters to come. Rated M. OOC.
1. Chapter 1

This was a spirit of the moment fic that hit me today so I had to write it. Multi chapter. Alternating POV'S. Thanks for reading.

This fic is named after Three Days Grace's song Everything I Hate About You.

IRIS' POV:

Every part of me hated Barry Allen. He was by far the most arrogant, self-absorbed alpha male there was on the planet. Or at least in my neighborhood. When we were little we use to play together in each other's backyards, have occasional sleepovers when one of our parents had to work late. It wasn't unusual for us to be inseparable. Ten years later and we hardly talked to each other. That was mostly my fault. I'd given up on him when he needed a friend the most. Back then I didn't really know how to be there for someone who constantly pushed me away. So I gave up on us. On him. I couldn't really blame him. I lost my mom, too. My dad and I just had a better system than Henry and Barry. My dad took me to family counseling early on, I was forced to talk about how mom's death felt. Henry was doctor, but he didn't believe in counseling.

Over the years I attempted to rekindle the friendship we once had, but thanks to Barry's mutual hatred of me that kind of hindered my progress. Eventually, school and my social life got in the way and I couldn't be bothered any longer. I didn't have time to pursue anything that wasn't worth my time. Besides, his cult followers who thought he was "the man" made it hard to get him alone. And Barry being the stereotypical jock, he kind of had the perks that came along with popularity. The girls, the party king status, the big cheese on this high school campus. Believe me, he had the big cheese attitude to match.

Whenever he saw me when he was alone he'd pretend he hadn't, when his followers were around he'd made a teasing joke at my expense. At first, I thought he was being playful, but then the jokes started hitting home for me in a way that made it clear he meant to inflict pain.

So naturally, when my used grey 2005 Honda Civic ended up in the shop for a few touch ups and my dad wasn't answering my calls Barry's had to be the only car on this side of the lot. I tried my dad's again with no luck. With a huff I started the trek home. What was a dozen blacks in the flattest sandals ever made? Damn Charlotte Russe! But for real, I'd probably be back there when my next direct deposit hit.

I pulled my WalMart bought burgundy leather jacket tight as I folded my arms across my chest, my black purse slung on my left shoulder. I made it a block before the first rain drop hit me in the eye, I wiped the wetness away, but that only made my eyes itch. How unfortunate was I to have no mother _and_ allergies? I mean, the universe was a cruel puppet master, but come on.

An all too familiar red Toyota pickup slowed to a crawl beside me. I refused to look over even if his eyes were burning holes through my resolve.

"Get in."

Silence was the best way to shut someone out. That's what I stuck with, a high head and silence as the rain picked up.

"Come on, it's about to storm."

No amount of rain would break my spirits enough to ever get into a car with Barry Allen. The thought of him alone made me want to pull my hair out, which I was now going to have to blow dry and straighten before I headed to work. The hurtful comments over the years stuck with me and just because his mom died didn't mean he could be a jerk. Me getting in the car with a jerk was a no go.

"Joe will kill me if you die from pneumonia."

I really wanted to tell him to blow me, but that wasn't good enough and I didn't have the energy or will to fight with him now. Or ever.

"Iris!"

My head snapped in his direction, forgetting how attractive he was, I blushed when I met his gaze. "Would you leave me alone?"

"You'll get sick." He almost sounded concerned.

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough. "I'd rather die of pneumonia than endure a ten minute ride home with you, Barry." I gave him a dirty look before stalking down the road.

When he pulled off I thought he'd gotten the message, but he just curved the truck in front of me. My heart pounded in my chest.

"What is wrong with you?!" I slammed my hand on the door, hoping the car would get the message.

"Get in the truck,"

"You're delusional if you think you can bark orders at me, Allen."

He hopped out of the truck and was in front of me before I could move out the way. Angry green eyes glared down at me. I don't think we had been this close since we were seven, so his height took me by surprise. I mean, I saw him in the halls. I knew he was tall, but I hadn't experienced the closeness of his new height. It mattered, especially when I used to be taller than him.

He opened the passenger door and waited for me to get inside.

I gave him a look. He gave me a look, so I guess we were in a staring battle.

"Iris can you just get in?" His voice soft as his eyes scanned me. "You're shaking." Rain had soaked him at this point.

For some reason, my eyes zeroed in on his wet lips. So many horrible things had come from this mouth and if I had the balls I'd like to think I had I would've punched him right in the pucker, but I just stared at it.

It turned into a frown as he effortlessly picked me up and placed me in the seat with a slam of the door. My eyes widened as I sat on the inside of Barry's truck. This was a place I hoped I'd never be and now I was here against my will. I couldn't help but notice how the truck smelled of manly musk. He revered and drove us down the street in silence. Despite myself I buckled up. I could admit no one wanted to walk in wet sandals. That was a death sentence waiting to happen.

I couldn't stop shivering. Cold rain mixed with the approaching fall temps would do that to a soaking girl. I focused on what was outside the rain splattered window instead of the tension fogging up the car. Wait, that was the heat. Okay, I was being a bitch. At least I could do was thank him for perhaps saving me from the case of pneumonia we'll never know I could've had.

When I turned him I noticed how his bare arms flexed as he turned a corner. The sleeveless gray shirt clung to him well. Soccer must've been doing him well. I shook those approaching thoughts from my mind, but it was hard to ignore that this was the closest I'd been to Barry in ten years despite him living next to me. Sure, I'd seen him occasionally at the house with Henry, but I'd just go to my room where I could loathe him in peace, but I could count those times on one hand.

We stopped at a red light and he turned that hazel gaze on me. "A thank you isn't over rated, Iris."

I couldn't hide my scowl. Hearing my name on his lips annoyed me to no end. He didn't have a right to say my name after all he's put me through in the last ten years. Just because he possibly saved me from a theoretical case of pneumonia today didn't give him the right to say it.

"I didn't ask you to pick me up and throw me into your truck. So no, you don't get a thank you." I spat.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, long and lean fingers. "You're right, how rude of me to drive you home in the pouring rain when we live next door to each other. What could I have been thinking?"

My fist squeezed in my lap. Only if I could punch him square in the jaw. I was feeling a tiny bit sentimental so I tried to store my anger.

"Fine," I met his eyes. "Thank you."

He stared at me for a long five seconds before a smirk broke out on his lips. "Your hair." He reached out to touch it, taking me by surprise. "It's curling right back up." His fingers played in the curls and I couldn't help but feel the feeling you get when someone plays with your hair.

Shit. I really could care less what Barry Allen thought of me, but I didn't want to rock a sister girl afro in front of him. A blush stung my face as I smacked his hands away.

He chuckled. "You should wear your hair like that again, Flower."

My heart tugged as I ignored him and tried to act as if I wasn't embarrassed beyond belief. Being black and having an afro growing up lead to a lot of mean and racist comments. When I was old enough to do my own hair I started straightening it.

The light turned green and I couldn't have been happier when our houses came into view a few minutes later. I couldn't hope out the truck fast enough. Barry giving me a ride home and calling me my childhood nickname was enough to make me want to second guess him. Second guessing Barry Allen required a lot of thought and time and I didn't have the time. I had to shower, do my hair and get ready for my shift at Jitters. I could really use the caffeine crutch to get through the stack of homework I had to do after the shift.

Barry and I didn't part ways with a goodbye and I was fine with that. It wasn't like I was going to stand around awkwardly and mutter an apology.

I made it to Jitters with freshly pressed hair that was already starting to curl a little from the light mist outside and ten minutes of late to ignore the warning look Caitlyn gave me as I clocked in.

"You're lucky Jason isn't here. Your ass would've been fired, Iris."

I sighed. "I know," I pleaded with her. "Do you see the weather." I pointed to my hair. "I had to get this back to normal before coming here."

She cracked a grin. "You just want to look nice for your college criminal justice hottie."

My eyes rolled. "Please."

We both know I did, but we also both knew I had too much on my plate to even entertain the thought of a boyfriend. Even if it was a college hottie with sensitive blue eyes and blonde hair.

"Speaking of," She nodded towards the door. "Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday like clockwork."

I held my hand in front of the register so no one would see but her. "You know what this finger means."

She sneered and went to cleaning stocking the counter.

I pretended to be invested in the menu when I felt Eddie approach the counter.

"Iris," He grinned.

I smiled back. "Hey," Darn those blue eyes. "What brings you here?" I asked casually.

"Just a cup of coffee."

Right. "I know, I was just making conversation." And a fool of myself.

Okay, when I said I didn't have time for boys I only half meant it. Eddie had been coming into Jitters for two years and I had developed an acute crush on him. I mean, blue eyes and blonde hair. Hello.

He grinned as if I were a cute kid, which was obviously how he saw me. "And a muffin today. A five page paper won't write itself."

I nodded along. AP classes weren't a joke, I could share the pain.

I made the coffee and placed a chocolate muffin on a plate and slid them to him across the counter. "On the house."

He flashed a full smile. "Oh, thanks, Iris. You're the best." He took his coffee and muffin and headed over to his table without a glance back.

Caitlyn held up her thumbs. "Smooth."

My hand went back in front of the register to signal what I felt.

She laughed. "In the four years I've been working here I don't think I've seen nearly as many middle fingers in my direction since the two years you've been here."

"I'll take the compliment." I popped a chocolate chip in my mouth as I started on my own personalized drink. The key was to add double of almost everything on the menu. Some things worked, others didn't. Trial and error helped out a lot in my long nights of study.

"You're dad came in earlier, asked about your schedule."

I huffed. "Did you tell him I'm not working too many hours for an AP senior. I'm doing great in all my classes."

She nodded. "I did. I can see where he's coming from." She ignored the look I gave her. "You're all he has and he wants you to do well and I don't think his idea of you succeeding involves Jitters three days a week."

I shrugged. "Well, my wallet isn't going to fill itself on the allowance he gives me."

My dad wanted to believe he could take care of us both financially and he could, but I had to save up for college. When I got my first paycheck from Jitters I went straight to Wells Fargo. I didn't want my dad to run himself into the ground trying to keep us satisfied. I was proud of my dad and I loved him, but he could really be overbearing at times.

"All I'm saying is that I wish I had a dad like Joe." Caitlyn added.

My five hour shift fly by faster than usual with the few rushes of customers. During the moments of peace my mind drifted to my dad and the ride from Hell I wouldn't ever tell anyone about. It's been ten years since anyone called my Flower, least of all Barry Allen. I shouldn't think of him at all, but I couldn't help it.

When nine thirty rolled around I couldn't have been happier. I clocked out, grabbed my bag, and waved bye to Caitlyn who could've murdered me for leaving her to close. It wasn't my fault she was a shift manager and I was a lowly high school student with a part time job.

Unluckily, the rain had picked up. Luckily, I had an umbrella that protected me. My dad was home but I didn't want to bother him. He worked almost two days straight with the cop shortage at the station. There was talk about strange things happening in Central City. I didn't believe them. I believed in what was in front of me, not rumors or conspiracies about the supernatural. The current rumor was there was someone running around the city kicking bad guy ass only he was extra fast. Something Central City didn't need was a vigilante. Starling City didn't need it's very own Arrow if you ask me. I just hoped my dad or someone caught him. Justice was by law, revenge was by people. My dad taught me that.

I started down the street. The walk to my house wasn't far and I didn't have on sandals so that was in my favor. I wasn't siked about straightening my hair twice in one day when I get home, but it had to be done.

The wind blew the rain in my face. My clothes started to dampen. Barry Allen wouldn't save me from the chance of pneumonia this time. I could catch a cab, but I didn't want to waste the last twenty bucks on a ride when I had two perfectly working legs.

My phone buzzed in my purse.

"Dad, I'm walking home."

"In this weather? Where are you? I'll come get you."

"No, it's fine. I'm close."

I could feel his narrowed gaze on this end of the phone.

"I thought you just got off."

I couldn't lie to my dad, he always knew, so I went with a half truth. "I ran halfway." I was speed walking, that was something.

He gave an unconvinced grunt. "I can still come get you, Iris."

"Dad, I'm okay, I promise. I'll be home soon." I hung up dramatically.

Sure, I was being a brat, but I hadn't had a wonderful day and the last thing I needed was my dad treating me like a child. Not to toot my own horn but I was a pretty great daughter. I got honor roll, I helped out around the house, I went to church regularly. I was on my p's and q's. When my dad would see that was still a mystery. I knew he was worried and I knew he was scared something would happen to me and he'd be all alone.

Guilt sprouted and I was about to call him back when I tripped over a box that clearly had no business being in the middle of the sidewalk. My hands stung from the brunt of my fall onto the pavement. The rain soaked me once again as my umbrella tumbled down the street. Well, it was nice having it, but I wasn't running after it. It belonged to the streets of Central City now. I mean, I was already wet and freezing, I'd just call my dad.

I searched for my phone in my bag, but realized it fell on my way down. Shit. It was soaked. I groaned as I surveyed it further. Bright lights stung my eyes as I looked to my right as a loud horn blared. My heart halted in my chest as a car swerved sideways but the driver and I both knew I was a goner. My dad flashed in my mind. I should've listened to him. He was about to be alone and it was my fault for thinking I was grown. I sent silent prayers his way.

Then everything blurred and I was standing a block away from my house with foreign arms around me. I didn't have time to process the incredibly quick trip as I spun around to look at whoever saved my life. To my disbelief there was a man in a scarlet suit dressed like a superhero. I wanted to laugh. I should've laughed, but I was too shocked to do anything but stare as he flashed a few feet away. The street lamp glared off his face.

I registered what just happened. This running man was what people were whispering about around town. He was real. He was standing in front of me. He saved my life. In a scarlet suit with a lighting bolt. While I admit it was a bit over the top, it sure clung to his fit body well. I wondered if his face matched. Then I thought about my hair and I prayed it wasn't doing anything too crazy.

I slowly neared him. "You saved my life..." Apparently I stated the obvious in front of vigilantes. "Thanks."

"You should be more careful." His voice sounded distorted, like he was talking into a fan.

I wanted to reach out and touch him, but he disappeared. I searched around to find him in front of me, his face obscured as he looked to the side.

"How can you do that?"

"You should get home, you could get sick."

A small grin came to my lips. "You kind of just changed my life, I'm allowed a few minutes of confusion." I closed the distance, hoping to get a look at his face. "And maybe some answers."

His face started shaking so fast I didn't know if I should call an ambulance. "I didn't save your life for you to catch pneumonia, Iris."

My eyes widened. "How do you know my name?"

He moved so fast I didn't notice we moved until I was standing on my porch alone. Curiosity stirred in me as I stood on my porch for longer than necessary. I had to be dreaming. There was no way that just happened.

The door opened and there stood my dad with concerned eyes. "Iris, what are you doing? Get inside before you catch a cold."

I deadpanned. Why was everyone so obsessed with me not getting sick? In theory that was good thing, but not today. I rushed upstairs, telling him I had a lot to do, which was true. You could never be too far ahead. That's what kept me afloat in my school work.

Three hours later with little to no homework done and straight hair I gave up. I couldn't focus on anything about what just happened. I hadn't been dreaming and some super fast vigilante saved me from being a drenched black pancake on Main street that my dad would have to scrape up.

As I rose from my oak desk to open my bedroom window I couldn't help but think about what he said. My name. He knew my name. The how wracked my brain. My eyes refocused as I saw someone in window across from me. Barry came into view, shirtless with a towel around his waist. I didn't mean to stare, but I couldn't break my eyes away. He was definitely not seven anymore.

As if to be the perfect ending to the perfect day he looked up and held my gaze. He came to the window sill and leaned out. "You want to come over here, Flower? See what's underneath the towel?"

My mouth dropped open as my eyes narrowed. Forgive me for thinking that Barry could be anything other than an ass. I actually gave him the finger before closing my curtain. I cut off the lights and flopped down onto my comfy queen sized bed. A strangled yawn came out as I stretch oddly and maneuvered under the covers.

Two strange things happened today. Barry Allen was nice to me for half an hour and I met the man in scarlet who everyone was talking about. Out of the two, Barry being civil was probably the weirder event.

My eyes became heavy and all thoughts of Barry and the speedster left my mind for the time being.


	2. Out Of Mind

Apologies for the short chapter, but I wanted to get this up before I headed to work, which I'm now late for. Hope yall enjoy. Thanks Purple-Jaxie for reviewing :) You're the best. The song for this chapter is Tove lo - Out Of Mind

BARRY'S POV:

I woke with a start. My eyes went to the clock by my bed. Shit. If Iris' loud and annoying music didn't wake me up then I'd still be sleeping. Running around the city and saving lives kind of made a man tired.

When I caught sight of Iris dancing around her room to Taylor Swift I couldn't help but chuckle. She was too cute for her own good. Ever the good girl with a little bite to her bark. When I practically kidnapped her after I finished my workout I know she considered knocking me out. I'd probably let her. She deserved to get more than a few licks in on me after the way I treated her in the last ten years.

Of course she had to be in the center of danger last night when I saved her from getting run over by that car that had no business being in the road. And of course I said her name. I was pretty smart when it came to science and math, but that didn't seem to translate over when it came to girls. In my defense, Iris West wasn't just some girl. She'd never be just some girl.

My phone buzzed on my way down the stairs.

"Morning, champ." My dad greeted, leaning on the counter.

I grinned at him. "Hey, I thought you had a big surgery today." I ignored the call.

"It was rushed through the night. I'm just getting in." He took a bite of a cream cheese bagel.

Of course. He was never home, but what else was new. I grew accustomed to his absence over the years and at this point him being here when I got him really didn't make a difference.

"Well," He started for the stairs. "I'm going to hit the sack. Good luck today, son."

"Thanks." I said without really meaning it.

My dad hardly ever came to my games, he was too busy. I stopped expecting him to. When I first picked soccer up it was to let go some of my anger about losing my mom and it worked, but then I thought if I could impress my dad he'd talk to me about what he was feeling, he'd be proud of me and we could be a family again.

I'm still waiting for that day.

My phone buzzed again on my way out the door. "Linda," I internally groaned. "Hey, babe."

"Barry, you really have some groveling to do after standing me up last night."

Guilt sprouted. "I know, babe. I lost track of time."

"And you couldn't call me instead of letting me look like an idiot at the restaurant for almost two hours?"

I couldn't exactly tell her I was busy running around the city saving people, which was really starting to put a strain on our relationship. She was no Iris West, but she was my first friend after I lost my mom. She was there for me when Iris wasn't and that meant a lot to me. I didn't know if us moving forward into a relationship was the best move, but I thought I owed her more. She'd been there when no one else had. And it's not like she's bad to look at.

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. Okay?"

"It's not going to be that easy."

I grinned. "I know. I'm on my way out the door. I'll see you soon. Bye."

She hung up.

I started my truck. My eyes went to the West house. I hated to admit that I missed it, missed being in their presence. I missed Iris. What do you do with something you want but can't have, you play with it. Not that it made how I treated her okay over the years, but she hurt me, so I lashed out.

I backed out of the driveway.

"Barry,"

I looked up to see Joe flagging me down. I parked on the side of the street. "Hey, Joe. What's up?"

He looked anxious. "I'm running late and Iris' car is in the shop. Would you mind taking her to school and driving her home?"

Joe being Joe, I couldn't say no. He'd been there when my dad hadn't. He'd always catch me when I tried to run away and let me sleep on his couch when I refused to go home. Iris didn't know about those times and I made Joe promise not to tell her. So I nodded.

"Not a problem."

Iris descended her driveway with an already pissed off look on her pouty lips. Like an angry kitten. "Dad, I told you I could walk."

He gave her a look. "Barry already said he'd take you."

She wouldn't meet my eyes. "Well, he doesn't have to."

"Nonsense, Flower. I'd be happy to take you."

Joe wasn't oblivious to our drift, so he knew asking me to do this would be a challenge and a half, but I was up to it.

She gave me a displeased grin before walking over to the passenger side. She buckled up without a glance my way.

I waved bye to Joe and we pulled off for school.

Iris was like the chocolate cake from Matilda and I was on a paleo diet. No matter how hard I tried to put her out of my mind she weaseled her way back in. She was the distractions of all distractions, the cravings of all cravings. More than often I'd find myself staring at her in the halls when I knew she wasn't looking. I'd have to make a cruel joke to my teammates. I knew I had to trash talk her so they'd leave her alone. Mostly I did because if I could convince myself she wasn't who I wanted her to be then I could get past what we used to be. It was either tease Iris West or fall for her.

Today her red short sleeved blouse showed off her creamy mocha skin, long lean legs folded across the other in her jean shorts. I had a jacket in the back that I wanted to drape over her too distracting legs.

"You don't have to drive me home." She muttered, looking out the window.

"And let you walk home looking like that? Joe would kill me."

She snapped her dark gaze to mine. "What's wrong with what I have on?"

"Nothing if you were going for a high-class hooker, you hit it on the head."

She surprised me by punching my arm. Hard. "Screw you, Barry."

I grinned. "Not that I wouldn't, Flower, but I know you're still in virgin territory and I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole."

She looked surprised that I knew. It wasn't hard to guess. There wasn't anything wrong with her, she was just determined and practically had a no boys minefield around her. Part of me liked that she was innocent. Well, my dick liked that she was innocent. It was arousing. She was arousing and she had no idea.

"You can be a real ass most of the time."

I cut my eye at her. "Don't act like you don't like it, Flower." I pulled on her brown straightened hair.

She flushed and smacked my hand away like yesterday. "Would you stop touching my hair and stop calling me that."

"And stop getting under your skin? No thanks." My eyes ran over her body so quickly she couldn't have noticed. "Besides if I didn't tease you we wouldn't ever talk."

She gave a mock smile that still stirred something in me. "Coincidentally, we don't have anything to talk about." She bit her lip as if to hold back something.

My eyes focused on those glossed lips that I wanted to bite myself. "You biting your lip is distracting, Iris."

Her eyes flashed to mine for a split second before going to the window. The attraction was there on her part, I could see it. It was definitely there last night when she practically eye raped me when I was The Flash. I really messed up when I said her name. She was a smart girl, but I didn't think she'd put that together. The Flash saying her name and I weren't a quick leap in anybody's eyes but Cisco's.

"If I was a hooker at least I'd have more money." She muttered as if I wasn't supposed to hear her.

I knew she worked at Jitters, a coffee shop downtown. Joe and her weren't struggling, but they weren't as well off as we were.

"Hey, I didn't mean that. You look really nice."

She scoffed as if my compliment didn't mean anything. "Coming from you that means the world, Allen."

Well, you couldn't say I didn't try.

"You know if you got that stick from your ass you might actually get the attention you want from guys." I slammed. She pissed me off as much as she distracted me.

Her pouty lips in a perfect O as she glared at me. I couldn't say I hadn't imagined her like that before. "At least I'm not a man whore."

The rumors around the school were that I had made my way through the student body twice. That was absurd. There were a few girls that I slept with that expected something more after they gave it up so easily. They spread the rumors. It didn't bother be any, but I knew Iris thought it to be true.

"You upset I haven't tried to sleep with you?"

Her jaw hardened and I braced for another punch, but it didn't come. She just turned forward and fumed in silence.

Great. I hated this between us. It was both our faults but there was no going back.

I parked the truck and she hopped out before I could apologize. I watched her head inside the school, knowing she was heading for the library. Linda was standing with her friends by another team mates car. I was about to head over when Cisco stepped in front of me.

"Dude, we have a problem."

"Yeah," We always had a problem.

"No seriously. There's a photo of you in the suit going around out there," He whispered. "And you're with Iris."

My attention snapped toward him. "Can you make out our faces?"

"Not yours, but hers is almost clear as day."

"What does that mean? No one really knows about me, really believes in me. Can't you take it down with your mad hacker skills?" I tried to make light of the situation.

We headed for the school.

"I tried, but it's out there." He insisted.

I huffed. "So what am I supposed to do about it?"

He shrugged. "You'll just have to keep a close eye on her."

Any closer and she'd report me for stalking.

"Fine. Just keep working on that photo."

He nodded as he headed for the student lounge. "On it."

I caught a glimpse of her as she entered the library. As if she could feel my gaze she turned. I took in her long legs and that red top really needed to cover more. She rolled her eyes before disappearing.

"This outta be easy."


	3. High Hopes

Thanks for the reviews guys! The song for this chapter is Kodaline - High Hopes

IRIS'S POV:

The library was my home at school. With my AP credits, I was practically done with senior year already. I would graduate in the winter and head off to college in the fall...if I could only decide already. With college apps approaching deadlines, I had to make a choice. I would go to the community college in the spring and I'd start as a sophomore in the fall somewhere.

Or at least I would if I could stop thinking about boys. I wasn't one to obsess over the opposite sex, but ever since yesterday two men have been on my mind, none other than the horrendous Barry Allen and the scarlet runner. The Scarlet Runner. That had a ring to it. Even so, he saved my life last night, but he was still a vigilante. Vigilantes broke the law, they took it into their own hands because they didn't trust the police to it justly. So the Scarlet Runner had to answer to someone. I wondered if dad believed in him. He was like me, he needed proof. A police officer and a vigilante had to cross paths at some point, right? If I brought it up to him what would he say?

Not knowing if I'd find anything, I googled The Scarlet Runner. The first result that popped up was a catering business in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The Scarlet Streak gave me a movie from 1925. The Red Streak was a band. What else could I search? I went to the online thesaurus and typed in runner. I would not call the runner as a hurdler; courier or a sprinter. My eyes focused on the word racer. Speedracer was already too big a thing to even justify googling The Scarlet Speedracer. My eyes narrowed on the fresh google search engine as I began to type in The Scarlet Speedster. Nothing that was relevant. I went to images and still nothing of interest. With a sigh, I closed the tab and refocused on my school work.

An hour later with half-assed work my attention span was shot. I kept looking at the computer screen. With an idea, I pushed my textbooks out the way and typed in free forums. The rumors had been around for about two weeks. If the vigilante was in fact doing good there had to be reports about it. People would have something to say.

Ten minutes later I had the forum up, named The Red Streak. I was more fond of The Scarlet Runner, but that wasn't vague enough. Obviously there were nonbelievers. Hell, yesterday I was one of them. Hopefully, others would be curious and they'd find this forum to say their piece. Maybe it would help me understand him better. I knew next to nothing about him and it seemed like a genuine act. If I had superpowers I don't think I'd necessarily want to put myself in danger to stop criminals. I wouldn't want anyone to find out. There were plenty of movies about people developing abilities and being experimented on. He had to be some kind of brave to do this. Still, I didn't want to assume anything.

Classes flew by and before I knew it I was heading out to the parking lot. My hand fumbled for my car keys in my purse only to remember that I didn't have my car. I visibly sagged. Screw it, I was walking.

Barry stood by his truck, his hands on his girlfriend's waist with a puppy dog face I wanted to repeatedly hit. Linda looked pissed and if I were dating Barry Allen I'd probably be pissed, too. But I wasn't dating Barry Allen and I was extremely glad for that fact. My heart went out to Linda Park for taking one for the team.

If he hadn't noticed me casually strolling by I would've made it Scott free.

"Iris bring your ass back here."

"Barry!" Linda complained.

I turned around at the trainwreck behind me to find Barry with an expectant look on his annoyingly adorable face. Linda gave me the stink eye. If she only knew I was the furthest thing from interested in her boo.

"It's fine, I'll walk."

I headed for my house, knowing it was a walk I didn't want to take. I wasn't much on exercise, but I had to do it. If I didn't keep in shape people would automatically assume I was ratchet. I didn't care what others thought of me, but I wanted to represent success. Honestly, I could probably use the exercise. The last time I worked out...I couldn't even remember when that was.

"Whatever," I heard in the distance, which I assumed was Linda. I hoped she didn't think I wanted Barry.

I was almost out of the parking lot when the red Toyota pickup pulled up next to me.

"Get in loser, we're going shopping." He said.

Despite myself I laughed because Barry making a Mean Girls reference was justifiably laughable.

"Not trying to cause waves, I can walk it." I kept on.

He honked the truck horn until I looked back. "Do we really have to repeat yesterday?" He asked out his window.

I stopped in front of the passenger door and looked up. "Why are you so persistent? Is my dad paying you? I'd be happy to give you the money to leave me alone." I almost felt bad that my insult reached his green eyes.

He opened the door and waited for me to get in. "He's not paying me."

"Then it should be easy for you to leave me _alone_ ," I demanded.

He was leaning in the passenger seat before I could blink, an irritated scowl on his lips as he stared at me with hard eyes. "Iris, get your sweet little ass in the truck or so help me God I will demean the shit out of you."

"Like you haven't been doing that or the last decade. I'm not impressed, Allen."

Before I could move away he reached down, his strong hands pulled my waist up with ease and put my ass in the seat. He remained close to shutting the door, his musk too close for comfort. I could feel his body heat wrap around me. His intense hazel gaze locked with mine as he clicked my seatbelt into place. My breath held as he made a show of debating kissing me or not. Not going to even deny it, my lady carriage was excited at his closeness. Her and I had to have a talk later. We had to be on the same page when it came to Barry Allen.

Damn my easily embarrassed cheeks for heating up in the most inconvenient moments. I expected him to move away, but he just stayed there, his eyes on my mouth. Nervously, my tongue wet my lips and my teeth bit down. Obviously, the wrong reaction to have at the moment.

A smirk crawled to his lips as he leaned back in his seat and pulled us forward. "You know, I have an incredible amount of restraint, Flower."

I snorted a laugh. "I bet, manwhore."

"If I didn't you might just slap me for indecent exposure."

I tried to fight a grin. He thought I was attractive. I figured that when he told me I was distracting him this morning. I didn't know if it was a fluke, but now I could say with confidence it wasn't. However, I couldn't say with confidence that I believed Barry being nice was genuine. At any moment I expected his followers to jump and yell that there were doing their very own version of Punk'd. That or he was trying to get a rise out of me.

Needing a topic change, I asked, "Can you just drop me off at Jitters. I have to go to work."

"You work on Fridays, I'm not surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean? It's not like I don't go out."

His thick brow rose as he glanced at me. "To the Pottery Barn?"

It just so happened they have good sales.

"Yeah, you're a grandma on the excitement scale, Iris."

I stuck my tongue out at him and looked out the window. I could be fun. I was loads of fun. On the weekends I slept in and then I read for leisure. Oh. It pained me to say that Barry Allen had me pegged right. I was a bore, but I didn't have a problem with that.

"There's nothing wrong with being focused. At least I'm passing my classes."

He cut his eyes at me. "What makes you think I'm not doing as well as you? Because I'm a jock?"

"Well, yeah. Aren't you too into partying and girls and soccer?"

"When did you become so judgemental, Iris?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "I'm not judgemental. You're just a dick."

"I deserved that. Go on."

I gave him a questioning look. He wanted me to insult him? Being around Barry was slowly drawing the life force out of me. Good thing caffeine awaited at work.

"I think I'll pass. Could you just drop me off?"

Not soon enough, he parked the car across the street from Jitters. I jumped with only a thanks, ready to get away from him. I didn't start work until four thirty, but I had my tablet with me so I could check my forum and surf the web a little more.

"Wait up." Barry called. "You're too fast for me, Flower."

My eyes rolled. "You're a soccer player, I doubt that. Don't you have a game you have to get ready for?"

He shrugged. "It's a scrimmage and I'll make it."

"You know you chauffeuring me around doesn't require you to walk me to my work's door."

He held the door open for me. "Maybe I wanted some coffee."

"You hate coffee, you prefer tea."

He looked confused. "How do you know?"

I gave him an incredulous look. "Because you almost threw up on me when you snuck some of Henry's coffee that time I slept over during the Halloween we dressed up as Power Rangers."

Recognition sprung to his eyes as a wide smile came to his face. He looked at me as if he were seeing the little girl with curly hair and a foot of height on him. I couldn't help but picture us in our costumes. He was the Red Ranger and I was the Pink Ranger. Everyone thought we were both girls because we had our masks on the whole night. That was a good Halloween. Sadly, that was our last Halloween together, our last holiday together before his mom died and everything changed.

My eyes drifted up to his with an unmasked longing that I hoped he couldn't recognize. Surprisingly, his eyes held the same. But it was too weird to talk about so we just left it.

"I'll get you a tea to go." I headed for safety behind the counter.

Caitlin acknowledged me briefly before going back over a clipboarded piece of paper that I assumed was either the schedule or inventory. She flipped her wrist to look at her watch. "You're not supposed to be here for almost another hour, Iris."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. I'm just making a drink for a...Barry." I couldn't call Barry a friend. He wasn't my friend. If this was a comic book I'd call him my arch nemesis. That was a bit dramatic.

Barry stood nonchalantly on the other side of the counter, his eyes scanning the menu.

"Okay. Oh, Eddie's here early, said he wanted some of your special coffee."

I looked down at what I was wearing. This was a good choice. Maybe he wouldn't see me as an adorable teenager anymore. Maybe that was a bit of a stretch, but there was always hope. He could be like, "Wow, Iris. You look amazing. We should get some coffee sometimes." And I would be like, "Sure, just so happens I work in a coffee shop, so it'll be free."

"Who wants your what now?" Barry asked with a raised brow, disrupting my fantasy.

I waved him off as I nodded in Eddie's direction. "He's just a regular."

"Who she has a huge crush on," Caitlin told him. "I'm Caitlin by the way. You must be Barry."

He smirked as he looked at me. "You've been gossiping about me."

"Actually, this is the first I've heard of you." She told him.

I mock grinned at him before reaching for a tea bag. I grabbed a cup and the steamer of hot water.

"Hey, Iris."

I jumped and spilled the hot water on my hand before I looked up to see Eddie grinning at me with those sensitive blue eyes.

"Hey, I could really use your help. Just got slammed with a huge assignment that I forgot about."

I grinned as if to say, "It happens."

"Probably not to you." He leaned forward on the counter. "You're an AP student right?"

He remembered?

I nodded as I started on his order, momentarily shoving Barry's to the side. "I do okay."

"You do great." Barry piped in unexpectedly.

Eddie looked between him and me before settling on me. "Are you the boyfriend?"

My eyes widened. "No!"

Eddie looked surprised by my enthusiasm.

"I mean, I don't have a boyfriend. He's just Barry." I finished his drink.

Eddie nodded. He handed me his credit card.

I gave it back to him. "On the house."

He grinned. "You know you don't have to give them to me for free."

"Don't take it personally, it's apart of our new loyalty program. You've been loyal for two years, you deserve some free coffee."

He looked cheeky. "And a muffin?"

I laughed as I slid one his way.

"Thanks."

Caitlyn shot me a look. "Just because you like him doesn't mean you can give him free stuff."

"What about me? I've known you a lot longer than two years." Barry asked with his puppy dog face. I hated that face, it made him all adorable and it was hard to hate someone when you thought them to be adorable.

"Sadly." I went back to his tea. I slid it to him, holding out my hand. "That'll be $4.89."

He leaned onto the counter like Eddie did, only he was a lot closer. "Come on, Flower. You owe me for saving your life. What do you say we call it even?"

"You think driving me home is equal to five bucks is even? You must be failing math."

He smirked. "I'm actually good at math. Now give me my tea."

I looked at Caitlyn to help me out.

"Those eyes warrant a free tea."

My hand went to it's usual place behind the register to signal she had failed me.

She laughed while tucking her mousy brown hair behind her ear. "Give him the tea."

Barry grinned. "Yeah, give it." He looked back at Eddie. "What's with that guy?"

I shrugged. "He's a criminal justice major. That's all I know about him."

His brow rose. "But you like him?"

"Is it obvious?"

He looked sad or maybe it was disappointment that I couldn't ball with the best of them. "Yeah. Coffee better be the only thing you're giving him for free."

My hand smacked his chest, very hard chest.

He smirked. "You better not give it up to a guy in plaid socks, Flower. I will be heartbroken."

My face flushed. Why did he have to keep bringing up my virgin status? Right, he liked to embarrass me.

"Don't you have a game to play in?"

I started on my drink.

"Not until five. Don't change the subject." He assessed Eddie again. "Is that really your type?"

My eyes rolled. "I don't have a type."

"Sure you do." Caitlyn interjected. "Hot white guys with dark brown hair and soulful eyes. You should date him."

"Don't you have paper work to do?"

"Just saying." She headed towards the back.

I didn't want to look at Barry, but it would be weird if I didn't.

"Do you want me to pick you up after your shift?"

"It's Friday. Don't you have better things to do like partying?"

I poured my special coffee in a cup and headed around the counter.

"You don't know how I spend my free time. I could be in a coffee shop writing somewhere."

He tried it. I gave him a look as I tucked my hair behind my ear. "Linda doesn't seem the coffee shop type."

"You don't know her, Iris. Don't judge her from the outside." He tugged my hair like when we were kids.

I smacked his chest and shoved him away. "Good luck at your game."

He walked backwards toward the door. "I don't need it. So you're going to the Pottery Barn when you get off?"

"No, I'm waiting for someone."

"Who?"

I shouldn't have said anything.

"You don't know him."

He grinned. "You better not give up your flower, Flower."

My mouth gaped as I glanced arounds us. Only a few people heard, but they went back to their own lives. "Goodbye, Barry."

He headed out the door, but not before checking me out.

I slid into a window seat with my coffee and tablet. Surprisingly, my forum didn't get any hits. Well, that was disappointing. After fifteen minutes of no new news I found a picture that made me still. It was of me and the vigilante. I zoomed in and you could see my face fine even if it was a little blurry, but you could make out the vigilante's. Who had taken this? Obviously this was from last night.

An idea popped into my head. I saved the picture to my tablet and posted it on my forum. Maybe a little evidence would cause a stir.

"Iris?" Caitlin called.

I looked up to see her with a swarm of customers, which was odd for a Friday afternoon.

"Can you clock in early? Please."

In between the rushes I checked my forum continuously. The fifth time there was actually a few comments.

JusticeIsServed wrote: Glad the Arrow has a friend looking out for us.

BabyDoll53 wrote: The Red Streak put away a mugger, he deserves more credit than this crappy forum.

ArrowLover wrote: So he just runs fast? That's all.

CHottie wrote: Particle Accelerator explosion. Enough said.

I took them all into account. For the most part everyone seemed siked to have him on board. Not a bad comment yet. Still, that didn't prove anything. I posted another question: Has anyone encountered The Red Streak?

"Whatcha looking at?" Caitlin asked over my shoulder.

I jumped back, locking my tablet. "Oh, nothing."

She gave me a weird look. "So you and this Barry guy. What's the story there, _Flower_?"

My eyes rolled. "There is no story. We used to be friends a long time ago. We drifted apart...well, we kind of hated each other. My car's in the shop so my dad asked him to take me to school and back."

"If you're not friends why would Joe go out of his way to ask Barry to drive you to school?"

Right. "We live next door to each other."

She grinned. "He's your boy next door." She teased. "He's hot. And into you. You should go for it."

My face froze with a terrified expression on it. "You can't be serious. Barry Allen. No. He's a menace to society. Trust me on that."

She held her hands up. "If you say so, _Flower_."

I didn't bother going behind the register to give her the finger. "Don't call me that."

When I clocked off I checked my forum and was glad to see a few heated arguments.

DoNoHarmRevival wrote: If this guy is saving people no harm no foul, right?

BellarkeForever255 wrote: He's a hero. My druggie boyfriend to me tried to kill me over money, but the streak stepped in. Swooshed him away. Saved my life. I hope he keeps going.

FlarkeIsOTP replied: I wouldn't have shared that info, but thanks.

BellarkeForever255 replied: Go float yourself...oh, wait. Sorry not sorry.

I didn't know what they were going on about, but there were more supportive comments and questions. This felt like the start of something big. With that picture out there, a little tangible evidence, people were sure to hear about it. I'm sure not everyone would believe until they saw him. I had a feeling that if the streak didn't want to be seen, he wouldn't.

I reached for my headphones and plugged them into my phone as I scrolled through the rest of the comments. JusticeIsServed posted a blurry picture that could've been anything, but also said there was a sighting a few minutes ago near a burning building.

I pulled up the local news on my phone and watched the shaky footage of people screaming and crying. The guy holding the camera excitedly said, "There he goes." it zoomed in on The Red Streak pulling the people from the building. One by one he set them outside as he rushed back in to save another. I posted that to the forum. For some reason I didn't realize how real this was.

A sprout of fear ebbed in me. I knew there was crime out there, but were we really surrounded by that much that a vigilante had to deal with it himself? What if he already made enemies? What if they saw my picture? No, my tiny forum wasn't that big. I'm sure that many people knew about it. Besides, it's not like I'm important to the vigilante. I should be good...right? I checked out the video again, but was interrupted by a phone call from a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Flower, what are you up to?"

I stilled in my tracks. "Barry, how'd you get my number?" As soon as I asked I knew my dad gave it to him. Me and my dad had to be on the same page about this, don't give my number to complete shitheads.

"Joe."

"So what do you want?"

"Are you hard of hearing, I wanted to know what you're up to."

I scowled even though he couldn't see it. "Why is it any of your business."

He sighed. "Because I'm bored. Humor me."

Could I? Sure. Did I want to? Not really.

"Can't Linda humor you?"

"She's not really talking to me right now."

"What did you do to piss her off?

"We lost the scrimmage." He clearly sounded amused by that, which confused me.

I didn't know what to say so stayed quiet. So did he. It was like that for a minute. Me walking home with a phone pressed to my ear with silence between us. Surprisingly, it wasn't the worst.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked.

I shrugged then remembered he couldn't see that. "I had an exciting day of homework planned, go ahead, make fun."

He laughed and it was nice to hear over the phone. "I'm glad you turned out booksmart, Flower."

Hearing him say that brought a freak rush of tears to my eyes. I blinked them away rapidly. Of course I wondered what it would be like if we stayed friends, but that wasn't the case. I cleared my throat. "Well, one of us had to go to college." I grinned. My phone beeped, I pulled it away from my ear. "As much fun as this has been my dad's calling."

"See you through your window, Flower." He hung up before I could retort with a snappy comeback.

"Dad, what's up?"

"Nothing much. I'm going to be here late. There's money on the table for dinner. I just wanted to check in."

"Well, I'm fine." I yawned.

He chuckled. "Maybe you should cut back your hours. You're not getting enough sleep."

"Dad, I'm a teenager. I never get enough sleep. Jitters isn't getting in the way of anything."

He sighed. "I'll take your word for it."

"Oh, before you go have you heard when my car will be done?"

He made a disgruntled thinking noise. "I think the mechanic said Monday."

I sighed. A lot could happen from now to Monday and I didn't want to ask Barry for a ride if I needed to go out the way. There was always the bus. I shivered.

"Okay, I'll let you go. I'm headed home." I yawned again, actually wanting to cozy up to the many throw pillows on my bed.

"Night, sweetie. Love you."

"Love you, Dad."

We hung up.

Police sirens blared not even a minute later. Blue and red lights covered the streets as they zoomed past me and down the street. A blur of yellow and red chased after them. The Scarlet Runner was probably saving another life. The sirens were in hearing distance, but faint. If I could run there I could catch a glimpse of him.

My lungs were screaming for water when I got to the scene. The lights reflected all around. The cops had their weapons drawn on a man in black. He had his hands raised in the air.

The vigilante stepped forward slowly. "No one wants to get hurt." He shouted, his voice all vibrations like last night. "Surrender and no one has to die alright."

The bad guy chuckled. "Not a chance." He raised his hands and the wind picked up extremely heavily.

I looked around at the blowing trees and struggling people to stay in place. He couldn't be controlling the weather. Thunder crackled in the sky. That was impossible. Well, so was running at the speed of light. I crouched down by a stop sign and held on as I watched with shock. Obviously, I should've hightailed it out of here, but this was beyond trainwreck fascinating.

The speedster ran circles around him, but a lightning bolt struck him. I gasped as I rose from my crouch. Was he dead? Just like that? If this weather controlling baddie could do this what could other people do? Were there more bad people like him with the urge to destroy the city and kill people? Without the vigilante how would we survive? The cops couldn't handle something like this.

I prayed for the speedster to get up, but that was a lightning bolt. Wait a minute, there was a lightning bolt on his suit. He rose with ease after a few long seconds and continued to run around the baddie. When the weather eased up a bit I knew what he was doing. Losing oxygen would cut off the source of the his powers. That was a good thing, but that also meant something bad. He would have to die. I mean, how else would they ever stop this guy from destroying the city, maybe the world even.

The baddie cried out in defeat as he dropped to his knees. Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but I would be dramatic if I was about to die. There was silence among everyone as we all watched him clutch his neck, gasping for air. Sadness washed over the crowd. What could we do? The police didn't intervene, they knew it was beyond them. The speedster zoomed off and left the mess for law enforcement. My dad was sure to hear about this.  
"Iris?"

I turned to see Eddie walking my way with disbelieving eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw people running away, heard the sirens."

My brow furrowed. "And you ran toward that?"

He gave a shy grin. "The Criminal Justice in me tends to head for danger." He gestured to the scene before us. "Can you believe what just happened? The rumors are true. We have a vigilante running around saving people."

I nodded as I thought about the loss. Even if it was some crazy weather controlling criminal, death tended to depress me.

"Did you know him?"

My head snapped up. "Huh?"

He gestured towards the body laying on the road with cops surrounding the area. "Did you know the guy?"

"Oh, no." I looked back at Eddie. "How could he do that? How could both of them do that?"

He shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine." He checked his watch. "Do you need a lift home?"

Any other night I'd be ecstatic to be taken home by Eddie, but not tonight. I needed to clear my head.

"No, thanks. I need the fresh air."

"You sure?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

He waved before heading off.

When I thought about it I should've taken him up on his offer. I just wanted to crawl into bed and hit the hay. I was mentally and physically exhausted. If only I had a beacon to summon the speedster with. I started walking home.

All of a sudden I was on my porch. Excitement filled me as I realized what happened. Either that or I passed out in the street. I turned to find the Scarlet Runner sitting on my porch steps. His head hung.

I didn't know whether or not if I could sit by him, but this was my porch dammit. I'd do what I please. When I sat by him his face vibrated again. "Are you okay?"

"When I signed on for this I didn't think I'd have to hurt people."

I nodded, saddened by his sadness. "Well, you still did good out there. You're helping people, making a difference. Without you, who knows where any of us would be right now. That guy could control the weather and you stopped him."

He turned to me. "I didn't just hurt, I killed him, Iris." He flashed over to the far end of the porch, his back to me.

There it was again. The obvious fact that he knew me. In the grand scheme of things I knew he wouldn't tell me who he was and I didn't think I wanted to know quite yet. It was easier to believe in someone when you didn't have expectations. And if he wanted me to know he'd tell me...seriously, I did kind of want to know.

I sighed as I followed, staying a few feet back. "You should give yourself more credit. I don't see anyone else out here in your position."

He stayed silent for a bit.

"I have to ask. How do you know my name?"

He faced me, the porch light blocking his face. "You were wearing your name tag last night."

My mind played back the moment and I could recall if I took it off or not. There was no way to call him on it, so I guess I had to go with it. I kind of liked the idea of it being someone I knew. Who was I kidding? No one I knew would risk their life to run around the city in their free time to save people from criminals.

"It's getting late, you should get inside."

I bit into my lower lip as I nodded. My hands went to my keys while I thought of something. "Wait," I spun around, but he was gone. Darn. If I ever saw him again I'd have to ask how he knew where I lived.

Sleepily, I made my way inside and up the stairs where I just stripped down to my bra and panties and crawled into bed.

A/N: Hoped yall liked it! Please take a second to review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading :)


	4. Worry

Apologies in advance, I suck at editing...so mind the mistakes, please :)

The song for this chapter is Rhodes - Worry

IRIS' POV:

I woke with a scratchy throat and a groan. Last night played over in my mind. Central City definitely had a guardian angel. I just hoped the police saw it that way. I yawned, my eyes found the clock. Holy crap I slept until eleven.

With a mug of tea and my purse, I headed out the door. I pulled my hair up into a high bun. Not expecting to see a sweaty shirtless Barry playing soccer in his driveway I gawked from afar. Well, my porch. Who knew how long I stood there picturing Barry in that Bod soccer commercial before he noticed.

He ran over with the ball in his strong hands. "Where are you headed?" His eyes ran over my body, that manly musk followed him.

"What's it to you?"

He gave a half grin. "We were making such progress yesterday. Don't ruin it, Flower."

Deciding not to argue with him I started down the driveway. "Just heading to the station. I wanted to talk to my dad."

"About what?"

"Nothing that concerns Barry Allen."

He tugged me along towards his truck. "I'll give you a ride."

I was too stunned by the feel of his strong grip on my forearm. My gaze lingered on the rippled muscles in his back as beads of sweat slid down and eventually I focused on his taut little butt in those blue gym shorts.

He opened the door for me. "Unless you want to argue with me today."

My head shook slightly, I felt dazed. "No, I would appreciate it actually."

Taking me by surprise, his strong hands grabbed my hips and put me in the seat like the last two days. I couldn't say that it didn't invoke a tiny bit of lust because let's face it, Barry being shirtless was like finding a chocolate on your pillow at hotels. You didn't expect it, but you were glad you got it.

Our eyes locked as he buckled me in. I was the one looking down at him and I felt an odd sense of power. "You don't have to do that every time you take me somewhere."

"You don't have to be such a tease, yet here we are."

My mouth widened as I leaned down to get in his face. "I am not a tease out of the two of us, Barry Allen."

His bicep rippled as he brought himself up and hovered over me, his eyes on my mouth. "That's the thing about you, Iris. You don't know how sexy you really are." His thumb pulled my bottom lip free from my teeth. "Like you biting this lip will drive a man crazy." His eyes landed on mine as his thumb caressed the side of my mouth.

A small moan escaped me and he smirked, letting me know he was messing with me.

"You're an ass."

I couldn't lie to myself that I found Barry attractive, but I could damn sure lie to him. "Besides, your not even my type."

He leaned into me so close I thought he was going to try and kiss me, but he just closed the door. Having him practically sitting on me like that, I couldn't help but take him in. Tan skin pulled tight over muscles, strong legs that held him up. Thank God I wore a padded bra instead of a sports bra because the outline of his you know what was on display and I couldn't stop staring at it as crawled across me effortlessly. You'd think someone so tall would have trouble moving around in a truck, but not Barry. If I had known I'd have this reaction from him I would've fought harder to remain nonsociable neighbors.

The truck roared to life and I the sudden vibrations made my legs squeeze.

"I thought you didn't have a type. Isn't that what you told me yesterday?"

I did. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" I asked defensively.

He could sense my irritation and said, "I'm not serious, Flower. Take a joke."

Even though Barry Allen hadn't mattered in my life for a decade and I was still skeptical of his trying to extend an olive branch his rejection stung. He liked everything and although I didn't want to be with him at all, least of all in that way...it still stung because it reminded me of after his mom died. He didn't want anything to do with me. My eyes went to the window as I blinked back the blossoming of tears.

"Iris," He started, his voice low.

"No, I'm fine." I waved it off too abruptly.

A few minutes later he dropped me off in front of CCPD.

"I can swing back around and pick you up if you give me a call," He offered.

Embarrassed, I jumped out the truck. "I can use the exercise." I headed up the steps. The last thing I needed was Barry Allen's pity. It's a good thing he put me in check because crushing on him was the last thing I needed.

As I walked up the steps the last person I expected to see was Eddie heading out in a suit. He looked really nice like he was going to an expensive dinner and I was dressed in yoga pants and an oversized thin sweatshirt. Fuck me.

"Iris," He stopped in the step in front of me, his hands in his pants pockets. "What are you doing here? Turning yourself in?" He half grinned.

I thought about it, thought about what Barry said. There was nothing to turn myself in for, no one thing that I'd ever done that would warrant an arrest. While I was proud of that and so was my dad, but now I was questioning myself. I shook my head, ashamed that I was feeling self-conscious because Barry Allen said I was a bore.

My gaze went back to Eddie's. "My dad's a detective here."

He stared at me with brand new eyes. "Oh. West. Joe West is your dad?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I pointed behind him. "I was just coming to see him." Now I was wondering why Eddie was here. "Did you turn yourself in?"

He laughed. "Nothing to admit to. I came down to finalize my paperwork. I'm going to be working here."

"Wow, Eddie. That's great." I smiled. "I know you're excited. You work your butt off."

"Well, I don't know about that. I just do my work." He looked over my shoulder and his forehead creased. "Are you waiting on your friend?"

I turned briefly to find Barry's truck still parked in the same spot with him leaning out the window. I gave him a look to back off before turning back to Eddie.

"No, he's just overzealous."

He nodded. "Or he thinks I'm stepping in on his territory, for lack of better term." He gave an apologetic grin.

My head shook. "He'll deal."

"What, you're not into him like that?"

I couldn't hide the disgust from my face as I gestured back at the truck that I prayed had left by now. "Barry and I aren't even friends. We used to be, but..." Sharing that information with Eddie was really personal and I actually didn't know him very well in the course of our two year barista relationship. "We're not friends."

He nodded. "He seems to think so."

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough. "He has a girlfriend. He just feels obligated to drive me around because my asked him to. My car's in the shop."

"Gotcha. Well, I guess we'll be seeing more of each other. I have to get going, but it was nice to see you. Again." He touched my arm.

I laughed. "Yeah, you too."

I watched him leave and Barry finally pull off. What was his problem?

The department was a madhouse like usual, but I found my dad at his desk with his partner, Chyre. He looked up at me with surprised eyes. "Hey, sweetie. What are you doing here?"

"We haven't seen each other a lot in the last few days I thought I would check in with you."

Chyre rose from his perch on the desk and patted me on the shoulder. "Nice to see you, Iris."

I grinned at him. "You, too." I turned back to my dad. "I need to ask you something about last night."

He sighed. "I wondered when you ask. I've seen the streak guy on footage. Everyone's talking about what happened last night. I can't discuss Clyde Mardon with you."

"He was the guy that robbed the bank, right dad?"

He gave me a look. "What did I just say?" He rose.

"I know, but what about The Red Streak? Is he in trouble? I mean, he saved the city last night."

He grabbed his blazer and tugged me along by the arm. "Iris, this is not your concern. We'll take care of it."

"But-"

"No, buts." He gave me a warning look. "Let me check in with captain Singh and then we can go get some lunch."

I quickly pulled out my tablet from my purse and checked my forum. I couldn't believe how many posts there were, it would take me a good chunk of time to go through them all. The first one that caught my eye had a pictures from last night's event. Not going to deny that they looked pretty cool.

GratefulCitizen wrote: He swooped in and gave me the knife my mugger was trying to use on me. I'm grateful that my kids still have a mom.

My lips pulled into a smile. I was proud of the speedster, I just wish the police force felt the same. Even thinking it, I knew it was unlikely.

"You ready?" My dad asked.

"Sure." I stored my tablet and we headed out.

BARRY'S POV:

I rode around for a bit, buying time until I'd check on Iris. Maybe I was being overcautious, but after what happened last night I just wanted her to be safe. When I saw her there all I could think was she saw me kill Clyde. She saw the streak kill someone. I didn't want anyone taking anymore pictures of us, but I had to get her out of there and away from the chaos that was my fault.

My phone rang, Cisco's face popped up on my screen. Needing something else to think about besides Iris and her college crush I answered.

"Yeah?"

"We need to go to STAR Labs. Now."

We pulled in front of the most hated building in Central City. Cisco and I shared a look.

"I have a feeling this isn't about our summer internship applications." He added as we rode the elevator up.

I sighed. "Yeah, I don't either."

We could potentially be walking into a trap, Harrison Wells could be onto us, but if we didn't check it out it could come back to bite us in the ass. Besides, it could be nothing. He did seem impressed with our minds after he gave his speech about the particle accelerator. I just didn't think that warranted him to call us up here.

The elevator doors opened. My heart pounded in my chest as we walked out.

"Woah," Cisco and I said simultaneously as we took in the huge lab. Multiple monitors hung on the walls, grey walls gave it a dark atmosphere. Or maybe that was the weight of what had happened here almost a month ago.

"Mr. Allen. Mr. Ramon. Pleased you could make it."

We turned to see Dr. Wells riding towards us in an electric wheelchair. I'd seen him on the news apologizing for the explosion from the accelerator, he was already paralyzed, but seeing him in person was almost sad. His work had cost him his legs.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you two up here," He gave a professional grin. "I have a proposal for the both of you."

Cisco and I shared a look.

"Okay."

"I'm aware of your academic successes and I'd like to offer you jobs here."

Warning bells went off in my head.

"You want to hire us? To do what?"

Although I was good at science and math, I was nowhere near the level Cisco was on. If anything Cisco should be offended that I was offered a job.

He looked at Cisco. "Mr. Ramon has remarkable skills in biomechanics and engineering. I'm also aware of your hacking skills."

Cisco flushed.

Wells turned to me. "And you have quite the need for speed yourself, Mr. Allen." He fixed his glasses. "I would like to assist you in your missions of cleaning up the city."

Cisco grabbed my arm, his grip tight. "Dude,"

I glanced at him before taking in Dr. Wells' proposal. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He rolled closer to us. "Mr. Allen, I may be a lot of things, but a fool is not one of them. You were affected by the particle accelerator explosion. It's remarkable that you're not in a coma right now, your cells must be regenerating at high speeds."

We guessed that the explosion had something to do with my abilities, but we didn't know for sure. "How do you know this?"

"That night I checked on as many people as I could that were admitted to the hospital because of me. You were by far the most interesting."

I looked to Cisco, he was at a loss. "How is that, Dr. Wells?"

"You were struck by lightning and you survived. I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I kept an eye on you and what I saw was fascinating. Then the streak started saving people. It wasn't hard to put two and two together. I haven't told anyone, if that's your concern."

"So you think we need your help on this? No offense, Dr. Wells, but we've been doing fine on our own."

He nodded. "I'm impressed with your work. I'm also worried that you're not being careful enough." He looked between the both of us. "You have to be monitored, Mr. Allen. You don't know enough about your condition. Cisco and I can help you with that."

Cisco was practically jumping up and down with excitement, but it wasn't his life that was on the line.

I shook my head. "Thanks for the offer, Dr. Wells, but we'll have to decline. I'd appreciate it if you kept my secret to yourself." I started for the door with a bummed Cisco in tow.

"How are you going to handle the metahumans?"

We stopped in our tracks and turned to look at him.

He rode towards us. "Metahumans. Like you and Mr. Mardon. There's more out there, in theory. You two couldn't have been the only two affected by the explosion. Once they learn what they're capable of how do you think they'll use their abilities? I'm betting there will be more Mr. Mardon's than you, Barry."

Well, that was food for thought. But I didn't trust Dr. Wells, I didn't know him. Hell, he almost blew up the city.

"Like you said, Cisco and I have handled it just fine so far."

Cisco pressed the elevator button, the doors opened and he stepped inside.

"What happened last night will keep happening. You are not equipped to handle criminals. You're not a killer, Mr. Allen and if the streak keeps it up people will start to fear you and the police will hunt you down like they did the Arrow."

With that in mind I stepped inside the elevator.

"The offer still stands, gentlemen."

The doors closed and Cisco relaxed.

"That was intense. In my eighteen years I didn't expect Harrison Wells to offer me a job out of high school. Let alone because my best friend's a superhero."

Wells was right. We were in over our heads, but we couldn't bring anyone else into this. I was already worried about Iris and Cisco, I couldn't afford to bring anyone else in.

"Barry,"

I turned to Cisco. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

Was I? I didn't know. Last night kept playing in my mind on repeat. Kicking the ball around earlier helped, but having Wells bring it back up kind of killed my spirits.

"We need to be more careful, he was right about that."

He nodded. "So, you don't want to rethink his offer?"

I gave him a look. "So we can have someone to report back to? Why do you think he wants to help us? I don't buy that he's trying to help right his wrongs. What if he wants to experiment on me?"

"Well, what if he really just wants to help us?"

"I don't know, but I'm not willing to take that chance, are you?"

He thought about it and shook his head.

We stopped to get a few pizzas on the way home. All we had planned was a night of Movies, well Cisco called it research, more planning. In theory, I should be knocking on Linda's door and making up my wrongs. I knew I was an awful boyfriend and that Linda really liked me, but I couldn't deal with that right now.

"Hey, is that Iris?" Cisco asked.

My eyes immediately found her walking with her attention on her tablet. She really needed to be more careful.

"Are you going to stop?" He asked.

I gave him a look. "She hates me."

"What else is new?"

I rolled my eyes. "If I ask to give her one more car ride she'll report me for stalking and sexual harassment."

He grinned. "I like her already." He hopped in the back.

I narrowed my eyes at him before pulling up beside her. "Hey, you want to walk or what?"

She looked up, surprised to see me. Disappointment clear on her flawless face. "I could use a ride." She hopped in and buckled up. "Although, I have to question how you're always around to offer me rides?"

My eyes met Cisco's in the mirror. "I just have good timing."

She turned around and looked at Cisco in the back. "Oh, hi." She extended a hand. "I'm Iris."

"Cisco Ramon and I know, Barry talks about you all the time."

I would kill him when we were alone.

"No, I don't."

"You have enough pizza? Are you having a party or something?"

"Just a movie night. Barry has an appetite out of this world. You're welcome to hang."

I turned a corner. "No, she's busy."

She burned holes into my face. "How do you know what I've got going on tonight?"

A tiny grin crept to my lips. "Because you've got to knit your sweaters and plant some flowers."

Her hand flashed out and smacked my arm. "Actually, I will join you. I can be fun." She looked back at Cisco. "I can be fun."

He nodded. "I'm sure."

She giggled.

IRIS' POV:

I can't believe I was actually walking into the Allen house. Ten years later and everything was the same. Lost time and yearning tugged at my heart. Cisco flew by me with the pizzas and crashed on the middle of the couch. Barry gave a weak grin at his antics as he turned on the TV. He disappeared to what I guessed was the kitchen to get us drinks.

I plopped down beside Cisco, I gave a shy grin. "Thanks for inviting me."

He grinned around a mouthful of pepperoni pizza. "Barry didn't have the balls to do it so it was up to me."

I chuckled. "Right." Barry definitely had the balls, but he did seem a bit glum from this morning. "Is he alright?" I didn't know why I was concerned, but I was and being back in this house brought back old memories.

He nodded. "He will be."

Barry came back with sodas and fell on the other side of Cisco. "What are we watching?"

"There's a Star Wars marathon on." Cisco answered hesitantly.

I laughed heartedly at the embarrassed expression on both their faces. "I've seen Star Wars. You can geek out. I won't be weirded out."

They shared a look.

"Let's do this."

Throughout the movie, I kept finding myself glancing at Barry out of the corner of my eye. He seemed very sullen, not his usual cocky self. His attention was elsewhere, I wondered if something happened with Linda. I hoped she didn't think anything was going on between us. I mean, there wasn't.

He was on his his third box of pizza. Was he stress eating?

"How are you not fat, Allen?"

He looked over at me with guarded eyes. "Huh?"

"You've put away like twenty slices by yourself."

He shrugged. "I have a fast metabolism." He turned back to the movie, but I knew he wasn't really paying attention.

Cisco gave me a weak half smile.

Star Wars was interrupted by a breaking news announcement. Captain Singh stood in front of the CCPD giving a statement. The headline read: Vigilante Wanted. Pictures and brief footage from last night displayed on the screen in intervals.

I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees as I grabbed the remote as Barry was about to change it. I turned up the volume as Captain Singh spoke.

"We are all aware of the events of last night involving Clyde Mardon and our very own vigilante. We acknowledge that vigilante saved many lives, but he also took one, and that is not up for him to decide. We are asking that he come forward in peace. Central City Police Department will take it from here." He gave a curt nod before heading up the stairs.

I couldn't be surprised, but what they hell were they thinking?

The news reporter popped on screen. "That's all Captain Singh is willing to release at the moment. Central City is up in arms about the vigilante. Some are already calling him a superhero. With that kind of power how could we really be sure the nature of his actions? Central City Police Department believes they don't need any help putting the bad guys behind bars."

"Yes, they do." I insisted at the tv. Both Cisco and Barry stared at me in disbelief. "What, you don't think so?"

Barry shook his head. "He killed someone, Iris."

"The world's not black and white, Barry."

He looked surprised. "You're defending him?"

Annoyance rose. Everyone just needed to back off of him. "You weren't there. You didn't see it happen. There was no way that weather wizard was going to surrender."

"Weather Wizard." Cisco nodded. "I like it."

Barry ignored him. "There could've been another way."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you're right or maybe you're wrong. All I'm saying is we need someone like him. The police can't defend Central City on their own and if The Streak wants to give himself over then he'd be doing more harm than good." I'm not the only one who would think so. Almost everyone that commented on my forum would agree. "He save my life, he's one of the good guys." I insisted.

His green eyes disbelieving. "You don't know him."

Beyond irritated, I rose. "Thanks for the movie and pizza. It's was nice to meet you Cisco."

He gave a weak grin. "You, too."

I walked out the door. This was a mistake. Why didn't I stick to my gut and stay away? Maybe I wanted to believe we could get along again. High school was almost over for me and I didn't have one person I would call my friend. Well, there was Caitlin, but she was more of my boss than a friend.

"Iris, wait." Barry grabbed my arm as I made it to my porch. He turned me around to face him. "I didn't mean to question your faith in this streak guy. I'm sorry." His eyes honest.

I pulled my arm away. "It's fine." I reached for my key.

"No, it's not. You're mad at me."

I gave a sour laugh. "You say that like we're friends."

He tried to hide the hurt look that crossed his face, but I saw it. "What do you call what we've been doing the last few days?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, Barry. You keep trying to push everything under the rug like it never happened, like I'm supposed to forgive so easily because you're a flirt. Well, I can't."

His jaw hardened. "You want to talk about forgiveness?" His voice cold. "You. Left. Me." He got into my face. "When the person I needed you the most couldn't be bothered, I didn't know how to deal."

"You pushed me away." My finger poked him in his chest. I ignored how much I hurt my finger as tears formed in my eyes. "I didn't give up on you. You shut me out!"

"I was angry. I had a right to be!"

"But not at me. I was your best friend, Barry!" The stupid hot tears rolled down my face. I prayed that I wouldn't ugly sob in front of him. "I didn't think I'd have to lose my mom and my best friend." I wiped at my cheeks.

He stared at me with sad, distant eyes, as if he was understanding me now. "I'm sorry." He muttered, his voice soft.

My head shook. "That's not good enough. You bullied me for the last ten years. Sorry isn't going to cut it."

I opened the door and shut it in his face before he could see me crumble. I let the silent sobs take me over as I cried for my lost mom and best friend. Things could never be the same. We could never go back. And I didn't want to. I just wanted to hate Barry Allen and move on with my life.


	5. Breathe Easy

The song for this chapter is Rachel Sermanni - breathe easy

BARRY'S POV:

A month later.

As a soccer player, running was always apart of the job. Like most I found it therapeutic. Running from your problems always seemed like the best option, deal with them later and forget about them at the moment. Having this speed, it didn't make running away any easier. I just became better at it.

Linda and I were back on good terms. She dropped her jealousy issues with Iris, but that was more because of Iris avoiding me at all costs. Her Honda was out of the shop and there really wasn't any reason for her to speak to me. After the argument last week I wanted to talk to her more, just apologize about everything, but there was nothing I could do. If she didn't want to talk I couldn't make her. Joe was a cop after all. Seeing her in the halls ignoring me like we hadn't started to rekindle our friendship stung. I could tell it was eating at her, too.

Cisco and I had a few hiccups with the suit malfunctioning. I caught on fire a few times, but lucky for me my cells regenerated quicker than normal. He insisted that we reconsider Wells' offer and I could tell it was driving a wedge between us.

Then there was the police force, they wanted me to surrender and Iris was right, I couldn't do that. How would I sleep at night knowing there was something I could do to help people? So we kept at it. It was either move forward or become a victim. This night wasn't any different.

I came to a sudden stop as Cisco spoke in my ear. My breath came heavily in front of me in a cloud as I took in the scene before me.

"Help me!" A man cried, hanging from the side of a building.

"Cisco, there's a window washer and he's going to fall.."

"Don't try and catch him, you don't have super strength.

"Well, is there like a mattress store around here? What if I get a bunch and stack them?"

He chuckled. "Barry, this isn't a Road Runner cartoon."

"Help!"

I sighed. "How fast do I need to run to go up the side of a building?"

"Depends on how far up you need to go."

I backed up to try and get a better estimate. "About fifty meters."

The man screamed again. He didn't have much time left before that wire broke. I had to save him.

"Hurry!" I told him.

"Okay, just run really fast and you should be fine."

"Okay."

"Barry, wait!" He yelled in my ear. "You have to keep a consistent velocity on the way down or else you'll look like something squashed by an anvil."

My heart raced in my chest. Great. Here goes nothing.

I ran up the side of the building and caught the man before the cable broke and the scaffold tumbled down behind us. The scaffold fell with a loud clunk on the pavement as I set the man down.

Before me stood Iris with wide eyes and a proud grin touching her lips. I vibrated my face so she wouldn't recognize me. I'd never seen her look at me like that. But she wasn't looking at me like that. What was she doing here? "Don't give up." She told me.

I couldn't if I wanted to. Hearing it from her put me back into reality. I raced out of there before the sirens were in visual distance.

IRIS' POV:

I saw him for the first time in almost two weeks. He was right in front of me, saving a man from falling to his death.

"Iris,"

I turned to see my dad. Shit.

"What are you doing here? Please tell me this isn't about the streak?"

My brain clammed up and the only thing I could think of was, "I came to get some...graham crackers."

His brows rose. "You came all the way downtown for some crackers when we have them at the house?"

My lips pursed as my hands slid down my jeans. "I, uh, ate them all. My period, you know, makes me crave crackers." I bit my lower lip, praying he'd buy that. Whenever I brought up my period he'd pull away from the subject. I kind of felt guilty using it as a weapon. When mom died he had to be there for me the best he could. I didn't have anyone else telling me what a period was or how to put on makeup. I was kind of late in the game to that.

The thing I was good at was school. You do the work, you get the grades. And that made my dad proud to call me his daughter.

"Okay, well, do you need anything?" He asked awkwardly.

I shook my head, ashamed I just flat out lied to my dad. "No, I should be okay."

He motioned for me to move away from the scene as the paramedics wrapped the man in blankets and wheeled him away. "So this isn't about your anonymous blog?"

My head snapped towards him. "How do you know about that? I didn't tell anyone about that."

He tilted his head to the side. "I'm your father, I'm supposed to know the things you don't want me to." He glanced around. "So I need to know what's your obsession with this streak guy?"

"Dad, he's saving people's lives with super speed. How cool is that?"

"It's not his responsibility, honey."

My eyes rolled as annoyance rose. "If he hadn't, that man would be dead. And so many others. Why can't you believe in him the way I do? He's a good guy."

His eyes assessed me with a shake of his head. "You have a crush on him, don't you?" He angrily whispered.

I balked. "What? No!" Kind of.

He gave me a look. "Okay, young lady. Get your graham crackers and get yourself home. You have school in the morning." He kissed my forehead.

I sagged. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

BARRY'S POV:

I didn't stop running until I made it to Cisco's basement, my lungs on fire.

"Dude, what's wrong?" He asked as he swiveled around in his chair.

Tired, I collapsed on his comfy old jean couch. "I saw Iris."

He shook his head. "I thought you were avoiding here. Or The Streak was avoiding her."

My arms covered my face as I tried to relax. "I was. She's safer that way."

"Well...not for long."

I turned to look at him. "What do you mean not for long?"

He gave a nervous chuckle as he turned the monitor towards me. "So what I didn't tell you was that Iris made a forum a few weeks ago."

Confused, I rose to look at the proof myself. "No, way." This site looked a little high tech for a forum though.

"Way. What you're looking at now is her blog _The Streak Lives._ "

I touched the screen, scrolling through the many posts about me. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't sure if it was her or not, so I started tracking her online movement. When I knew it was her for sure I didn't think you needed another thing to worry about."

With a sigh I headed for the door. "I'm going to call it a night."

"Barry?"

"Yeah, Cisco?" I asked irritated.

He looked hesitant. "Nothing, see you later."

I flashed out of there with another thing to worry about, wishing Cisco had told me sooner. With a month of not speaking between us I had no idea that Iris was that adamant about people knowing that I was doing good.

A long hot shower would do me good. And it did. When I got out I had an almost clear mind and a low stress level. I pulled on my sweatpants. With the open window blowing nippy air in I realized I forgot my tshirt. Iris' open window caught my attention as I grabbed a shirt, pulling it over my head while I neared my window.

She appeared. Her long dark hair flowed up from the brisk wind. Her mocha skin glowed. I wished I could just go over there, touch her, make her feel how she made me feel. But I had Linda and Iris didn't want me in any form. Our eyes locked and after a long moment as if to prove my point, she slammed her window shut and closed the curtains.

My forehead hit the sill in aggravation. At least I knew she didn't think I was the streak. Even her thinking that put her in danger. Maybe I needed to back off of helping people for a while, let the tension in the city die down, let Iris put this behind her.

IRIS' POV:

Baking was one of my favorite past times and although big hips ran in the black girl genes, I wasn't lucky enough to have the fat spread their. I really needed to workout. My hand ran over it, feeling the slight bulge. I chewed the freshly made brownies. My mind drifted back in time.

" _Barry, this time pour the chocolate in the pan." I told him._

 _Both of us were covered in flour and chocolate along with the counter and floor. My dad would kill us if he happened to wake up from his nap early. Long ago we timed it, letting us go into our own world for that short hour and a half give or take._

 _He poured it all in the bowl, some of it make a cloud in the air. We shooed it away with our hands._

" _Now add the milk." I instructed._

 _He looked at me with narrow eyes and a grin. "I have an idea, Flower. It'll take our brownies to the next level."_

" _What, Barry?"_

 _He rushed to the fridge and brought back chocolate milk._

 _My eyes widened. "We can't. It's my dad's. He'll kill us."_

 _A grin took over his face. "I won't tell if you won't."_

 _I realized it was now or never. This may be our only shot at improving our brownie quality. We could die today or tomorrow and always wonder in heaven what if we added chocolate milk to our brownies. I'm assuming up there we can't make them. So really all we had was now._

 _I nodded at him. "Let's do it."_

" _This'll go down in history!" He grinned excitedly._

 _My eyes rolled. "Our future's already been written, Bear. We're a shoo-in for the nobel prize."_

I rushed to the bathroom, feeling the acidic bile rise in my throat. I made it in time to the toilet to let it all out safely. When I was all done tears sprung to my eyes as I rested my forehead on the cold lip of the toilet.

"What is wrong with me?" I whispered.

I tried to stand, but more acid rose. Tears ran down my face. I just wanted it to be over.

After I got myself together I made my way to my bedroom. I'd clean up the mess in the morning, I just had to lay down. My bed caught my fall as I dropped on to it. My eyes drifted closed as I relaxed. Then I felt it. The brisk fall air blown through my open window. With a groan I rolled off the bed and made it there.

The last person I wanted to see, the only person I longed to see, stood there lost in thought while gazing into my direction. His eyes caught mine and the breath left me. While the thought of him made me sick he'd probably been off with Linda. I didn't like to deny things, but I knew I denied for a while, before he gave me a ride home in the rain, that a part of me had feelings beyond hatred for Barry. Looking at him now, I knew that they'd been there. They still were, but I didn't want them to be. We were just too different. The decade apart had shaped us too drastically that it was hard to even get along for a long period of time.

So before I threw up again I shut that window to the past and tried to make it through the night without being sick.

My spot by the window in the library was extra chilly today. My knit sweater wasn't doing the job I would've liked, but my still warm coffee helped a bit. Thank God the school invested in a coffee stand two years ago. The lunch room wasn't really my crowd. Well, any crowd wasn't really my crowd. But I couldn't sit there and act like I hadn't been teased by Barry's friends for most my life. The black nerd girl too obsessed with getting good grades to actually be cool. They thought I was a snob, too good to hang out with them. The truth was when I lost Barry I didn't know how to make any more friends. I didn't think anyone wanted to be near me, that there was something wrong with me. So I buckled down and focused on my school work. Books wouldn't get to know me, be there for me, make me laugh, and then one day throw me away like a used tissue. Not like Barry did.

I sipped on my coffee as I stared out the window. I was avoiding him more than usual. Another truth was I foolishly thought he changed and we could work on our friendship. That he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to leave me alone and he'd come after me and apologize, but he didn't. I don't know why I thought he'd choose a friendship with me over his popularity, over Linda. Funny how we always wanted the things we couldn't have, we always obsessed over them. Sadly, I'd become the girl that couldn't stop thinking about Barry Allen.

This time of year was the hardest. Dad always worked extra long hours so the house was cold and empty. Memories of my childhood came to my mind at random times. Just like last night. I thought about telling my dad and going to a therapist, but I didn't want Barry to have that much power over me. Then it would become real and I'd have to acknowledge what I wanted to bury deep.

The air around me became charged with something otherworldly. Without having to turn around I felt him in the area. My body became hyperaware of his presence. I clutched my coffee cup, afraid that if I put it down and unfocused my gaze from the window that I would see him and my composure would crumble.

"Isn't that little miss chocolate bunny over there, Allen?" My ears picked up who had to be one of Barry's followers.

I pretended not to hear it.

"Cool it, man." Barry whispered.

"What, are you hitting that?" He laughed.

"No, not even close. I wouldn't think about touching her."

My jaw hardened.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I tasted some." A chair scraped against the floor and I prayed that there was some other poor "chocolate bunny" around.

With my luck, there wasn't.

Drew Jacobsen leaned against my table. A smirk in place as his skeevy brown eyes scanned my body. "Iris," He grinned. "How are you doing?"

My heart picked up in my chest. "Good. I was just studying so if you don't mind." I scanned the words on the history book but I didn't retain any of it.

He leaned down closer. "I actually wanted to ask you out."

His friends laughed.

My brow rose. "Did you now?" My mouth set in a thin line as my fist tightened around the cup.

"Hey," He smirked. "It's just, I've never been with a sister before and I'd definitely like to experiment on the dark side if you were willing." He tried to hide his laughter as he looked back at his friends. Back at Barry.

It wasn't that I hadn't been through this before because I have. It was that I hadn't been through this before and let myself care about Barry. My eyes glanced around the library. Other students had stopped what they were doing to observe us, a few laughing. My chest felt heavy.

"I've seen you looking at me in the halls, Iris. I know you tend to go lighter so it's a win win situation. So what time can I pick you up tonight?"

His boys laughed louder. Others joined in. Drew smiled down at me with amused eyes.

I shot up, my heart in my throat as tears threatened to expose how much this affected me. "I actually have some stuff to do, so I can't." I started for the exit but he stood in my way.

His hand grabbed my shoulder. "You should be thrilled I'd want to take your virginity."

The laughter became louder. I bit my bottom lip to keep my chin from trembling.

"What's wrong, you didn't want people to know you still haven't done it? We can go to the janitor's closet and take care of that now." He gestured towards the exit.

My eyes slid to Barry's, thinking he'd somehow intervene, but he didn't. He just stood there, doing nothing.

"Oh, you have the hots for Barry?" Drew turned to Barry then back at me with a laugh. "Well, I'm sure if you begged him he'd do you."

All I could hear was the cackles and the howls of laughter as I ripped my shoulder away from his grip and ran from the library. I didn't even make it to the door as the first tear fell. After that they came heavily. They blurred my vision and I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I had to get somewhere private. My ears thumped as my heart felt like it was breaking off.

I stumbled to the hard linoleum.

"Iris," The last voice I wanted to hear called. He came into view, his hazel eyes worried. His strong hands helped me up. "Are you okay?"

I pushed him away as hard as I could. "Leave me alone, Barry."

He gave me an apologetic look, one that I wanted to accept. "Drew was an ass. He should've never said those things to you."

"Why do you care? You're just as bad as him."

He looked at me incredulously. "How can you say that?"

"You stood there and let him humiliate me in front of everybody." My voice faltered. "You didn't do _anything_." I folded my arms across my chest as I backed away from him.

"Iris, I didn't tell him to do that."

"No, but he learned from the best. He learned from you."

He neared me, his eyes pleading. "I'm sorry. I should've st-"

I held my hand up. "I don't want to hear it. Can you just leave me alone?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not going to leave you alone. I left you alone for ten years because I was mad at you. I don't want to be mad anymore, I want to be friends again." He gave a tiny hopeful grin.

Fresh tears pooled in my eyes as I shook my head. "You're too late. I would never want to be friends with someone like you."

His smiled faltered. "Iris, I didn't mean to hurt you."

My chin trembled. "Well, you did anyway." I turned from him.

He pulled me back to his chest, my breath caught as I took in his sad green eyes and fading tan. His thin lips inches from mine. "I'm not letting you walk away. I miss you, Flower." His warm breath fanned across my face as he took me in. His words in the library came back to my mind. His eyes hopeful.

The rest of my heart disconnected like a person hanging from a cliff. "I. Hate. You."

He blinked a few times as his grip loosened until it fell. He back away from me.

"Do you get it now?"

He nodded, but it didn't seem like he understood it.

"Will you leave me alone now?"

He looked back up at me hesitantly. He cleared his throat. "Yes." He slowly turned away and headed down the hall.

Feeling emotionally drained I stumbled to my car. I had to get out of here, I didn't care that school didn't end for another two hours and that I was about to ruin my nearly perfect attendance record. The only person I could think to talk to was Caitlin. I had to get to work.

I headed for Jitters. I had to work today anyway, what was being early a few hours anyway?

By some miracle, I made it there in the rain and through my tears. I pushed my sunglasses on my eyes and headed inside. She was taking someone's order. Jason stood at the other register.

She looked up at me with curious eyes as she took me in. "Hey, Iris."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" My voice asked shakily.

She nodded, instantly knowing something was wrong. "Yeah. Jason can you take over for a minute. We're going to be in the back."

He sighed. "Make it quick ladies."

She shot him a dirty look as she ushered me behind the counter and into the empty kitchen. "Honey, what happened?"

I took off my sunglasses and tried to remain calm. "Barry...There was an incident at school." My eyes were foggy. "One of his stupid jock friends tried to embarrass me and Barry..." I lost my composure again as I clutched to her. "He didn't...do... anything...about it. He just stood there."

She rubbed my back with a heavy sigh. "I'm so sorry, Iris." She squeezed me tight.

All I could do was cry. It felt undeniably good to be held right now. I never thought of Caitlin as a mother figure, but that's what she was to me at this moment. That only made me cry harder. I couldn't ever have this with my mom again.

"Don't hate me for saying this, but do you think you're this upset is because you have stronger feelings for Barry than you're willing to admit?"

I stilled. "What do you mean?" I sniffled.

"I mean, are you afraid to admit that you're in love with Barry?"

I almost laughed at how crazy she sounded. I pulled away as I tried to see if she was serious. She was. "Are you mental? I am not in love with Barry. I hate him." My voice trembled on the last word.

She looked at me with sad eyes.

"I hate him." I nodded. "I hate him."

"Okay."

"I hate him!"

She pulled me back to her, swaying us side to side. "Okay, Iris. I believe you." She burrowed my head in her chest. "Just cry into the titties."

I let out a shallow laugh.

We stayed there until I felt better.

BARRY'S POV:

"Barry," Cisco warned into my ear piece. "Don't run angry."

I ignored him as I raced through the city. Part of me knew that the rain made it a little unstable to run at this speed. If I fell at this velocity I didn't know how badly injured I'd be. But none of that mattered today.

"What happened today?"

 _I. Hate. You._ Her words wouldn't stop replaying in my head. The broken look she gave me. I knew without a doubt that I had caused that pain and that I'd been causing that pain for half our lives. I couldn't tell her how sorry I was.

"Fine, run angry," Cisco muttered.

My irritation flared. Everything that's been going on with him lately was getting to me. I wasn't sure he wanted to be a part of this team anymore. A huge part of me feared that I'd lose another best friend. And I couldn't handle that today, so I stayed quiet.

"Barry, we got a hit. There's a known thief in the middle of town. Apparently he has some kind of...gun." He said hesitantly.

"What kind of gun? Is he a metahuman?" I headed for downtown.

Silence.

"Cisco!"

"Uh, Leonard Snart. He has a Cold Gun. It shoots blasts of ice."

What the hell? "Where would he even get something like that?"

"I...I really don't know."

I came to an abrupt stop. Snart stood in the middle off the street surrounded by cops with the gun in his hand.

"I'm not going to tell you again, drop it, Snart!" Joe yelled.

Snart shot at the policeman that snuck up behind him. The gun froze the officer to an ice cycle. Snart pushed him over and he broke into pieces.

"Anyone else want to try something risky?"

I ran forward. "What about me?" I pushed him back.

He chuckled, the gun still in his hand as he corrected himself. "The infamous Streak. Came to stop little ole me." He pointed the gun at a civilian. "Let's see if you're fast enough to handle the chill." He shot the gun.

I ran to the man and placed him on the other side of the lot. Civilians screamed as Snart randomly shot at people that I was fast enough to save. Gunfire shot and I moved Snart out the way. He wasn't a metahuman. He could be contained. He didn't have to die.

He grinned at me. "Your heart's too big, kid." He shot at me and I moved out the way fast enough that it only hit my side.

I groaned in pain.

"Barry, are you okay?" Cisco asked.

"It burns." I struggled to get up.

"You have to get that gun away from him."

Snart pointed it at me again and a bullet shot through his shoulder.

We looked over at Joe, his gun aimed at us. He was one of the only cops that stood ground and didn't high tail it away.

Snart sneered as he aimed the Cold Gun at Joe.

I rushed forward and grabbed Joe as we fell to the wet pavement.

Joe shoved me off of him. "Get off of me..." He stared at me with disbelieving eyes.

In the moment I forgot that Joe would recognize me even in the mask and by the time I realized he knew it was me it was too late to vibrate my face. My eyes pleaded with him not tell, not to turn me in. I knew how he felt about The Streak. What I saw in his eyes, eyes much like Iris', wasn't disappointment or anger. There was pride. Love.

He nodded.

I flashed away, but I wasn't as fast as I should've been. It had to be the gun, it reached absolute zero. I faced Snart. "No one has to die!" I made sure to vibrate my voice.

"Chill out, kid. None of these people care if you live or die alongside me."

He was right, but I couldn't think about that right now.

"Iris, get down!" Joe yelled.

I turned to see her running this way. Did she have a death sentence? What was she thinking running in this direction?

"Get out of here!" I yelled at her.

Snart turned the gun on her and aimed. The road began to ice over where the gun hit it.

Her eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen. She started to turn.

My heart raced in my chest as I ran for her. I couldn't lose her. Not now. Not ever. The cold was about to kill her. I shoved her into the air right as the blast hit me in the chest. I cried out.

"Barry!" Cisco yelled in my earpiece.

I fell to the ground. My eyes found Iris laying on the ground a yard away. Red stained the pavement by her head. No, she had to be okay. My chest burned so badly it hurt to breath.

Snart stood above me, the gun pointed at me. "Looks like you weren't fast enough, kid." He aimed it.

"Barry, are you okay?"

I flashed out of the way in time enough to miss the blast. I picked Iris up and ran to the hospital as fast as my legs could go at my currently slowed speed. My heart thumped in my ears. I felt lightheaded. I pushed forward, groaning in frustration. The hospital was less than a mile away.

I dropped her off into the ER. The nurses stared at me with surprised eyes. "Her name's Iris West." I vibrated my voice and face. "She hit her head." The world titled. "Where can I put her?"

They rushed to get an empty bed. I set her down. My breathing came heavily, my hands on my knees.

"Sir, I think you better sit down. You've been burned pretty badly." She didn't believe she was saying it. Doctors tended to believe in science and not fiction.

My eyes landed on Iris.

"Barry, get out of there!" Cisco demanded.

I pushed forward, stumbling. The nurses caught me. It took all my effort to vibrate my face. I had to get out of here. I shook them off and ran to the best of my ability. My eyes fluttered shut as I felt my equilibrium off balance. My feet tripped me up and I tumbled to the ground, falling into a pile of debris at high speed. My eyes fought to stay open, but they eventually lost the fight.

"Barry!"

Everything drifted away as I let go of consciousness.


	6. Always

The song for this chapter is Rhodes - Always

BARRY'S POV:

With a gasp, I startled awake. I looked around, not knowing where I was. Someone's house. Not Cisco's. I rose shakily and noticed that there was an IV in my arm, my gaze followed it up to meet at least ten bags if not more on the stand. I tugged it off and headed for the door. Whoever brought me here saw my face. What if they told people? Iris would definitely be in danger then. I stopped in my tracks when I saw a picture of Joe and Iris, smiling. With another look, I noticed the small things about the house. The dent in the bottom step where Iris and I had decided to slide down the stairs on a big container lid. That didn't end well. Or the series of finger paintings we thought were better than Picasso.

"You're awake,"

I dashed around to see Joe standing in the kitchen way with a cup of water. All I could do was stare at him with confused eyes. What did I say? A part of me always wondered if he speculated.

"It's okay, son. I know it's you. I'm not going to tell anyone." He inched closer, his forehead creased.

"You brought me here?"

He sat down on the armchair of the couch. "What were you thinking, Barry?"

With a sigh, I pulled the mask off and neared him hesitantly. "I'm sorry, Joe. I didn't think anyone would get hurt. I just wanted to help people."

He seemed to chew on that. "And meanwhile Iris is in the hospital and I'm here talking to you."

My mind played back the events. Worry set in. "I gotta go see her." I started for the door.

"Barry, sit. You and I need to talk."

Obediently, I sat on the couch. I could tell I was in for it.

"How could you keep this a secret from me? I can understand not telling Iris, but I'm your next of kin if anything happens to Henry. You're like my own son. Did the fact that I'm on the police force escape your mind? I could've killed you today."

I nodded. "You're right, Joe. I'm sorry. I just didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me."

"What about you, huh? What if a guy like Snart actually kills you next time? Then where would I be? Where would Iris be?"

The mention of her washed a wave of guilt over me. She was in this mess because of me. When she woke, if she woke up, I had to distance her from the streak. Being around me proved to be dangerous.

"She hates me. She could care less if I'm dead."

He gave me a disapproving look. "You know that's not true. She cares about you a lot."

I shook my head. "No. Something happened today at school. One of the guys were messing around and they hit on her as a joke and I didn't do anything about it. She ran away crying and all I could tell her was that I was sorry. She flat out told me she hated me, Joe. It doesn't get clearer than that."

He looked worried. "What kind of stuff was this guy saying?"

I thought back to Drew's cruel words and how I just stood there. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I should've stepped in sooner. There was no excuse great enough to why I let Drew attack her like he did.

"Things that I beat the crap out of him for after the fact."

His brow lifted. "You beat him up?"

"Got suspended for a week."

"Henry's going to be mad."

I shrugged. "I know.

"Well, thank you for sticking up for Iris, even if it was late."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "How is she?"

"She's recovering. The fall hit her head pretty hard so she has a concussion and a few bruised ribs."

"What?" I shot up. "I'm so sorry Joe. I never meant for her to get hurt."

"Relax, I know. I know how you feel about her."

My face immediately blushed. "I don't have feelings for her if that's what you think..." I gave a harsh laugh. "That's crazy. Iris and I, there's no Iris and I. We're not even friends really."

He gave a knowing look.

My fake smile fell. "How long have you known?"

"Long enough for you to realize what an idiot you've been and start back where you left off."

So a long time.

I shook my head. "No," My hands ran over my head nervously. "I tried, she shot me down repeatedly."

"If you don't think Iris has feelings for you then you're a bigger idiot than I thought. She misses you, even if she doesn't say it."

I hoped he was right.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Almost twelve hours. Cisco called me when he located you."

Unease sat in the pit of my stomach. "Cisco called you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he knew I would watch over you."

Annoyance rose. "That was not his decision to make."

He held his hand up in caution. "Woah, Barry. He was trying to help."

I paced. "And what if I didn't want you to know? He didn't have a right to bring you in."

"He's your best friend, the only one that knew what you were going through. I think he's entitled to some say when you're passed out."

My hand made a fist at my side as I tried to control my anger. "What are we still doing here when Iris is at the hospital?"

He pushed off the couch and ushered me towards the door. "Let's go."

I sat down on the edge of her bed, worry set in deep. She just laid there asleep and possibly dying. Just because they diagnosed her with a concussion and bruised ribs didn't mean she couldn't get worse. What if she slipped into a coma? This was because of me. If she hadn't been so obsessed with proving the streak was a hero then she wouldn't have willingly run toward danger.

Joe had left to give me some time alone with Iris. Now that I could literally say anything to her and not have her slap me or push me away I didn't know what to say. The truth had to be a start.

I grabbed her hand, knowing that if she woke up I'd be in for a rude awakening. "Hey, it's me. Barry." I held onto her hand tighter. "I know you said you hated me and never wanted to see me again, I know you have a flair for the dramatic, but I've ignored your request." I gave a slight chuckle that sounded wrong at a time like this. "I don't know if you can hear me right now, but I have to have you know that I never wanted you to get hurt. That's not why I started this. I wanted to make a difference, make everyone I cared about safe. Instead, you ended up in here." I sighed as my throat dropped to my stomach. "I can't even fathom the world without you in it, Flower. I'd gladly take you hating me over the alternative any day." My thumb rubbed the back of her hand. "I also know that there's a lot that I have to make up for. Ten years worth of being an asshole to prove that I can be there for you, that I'm not going to leave you again. And I know that's a lot of faith to put into me, but I need you to trust me." Tears stung my eyes. "I wasted so much time, time I could've been spending with you. Time I'll never get back. If you die in here I don't know how I'll forgive myself, how'll I'll look Joe in the eyes again. So I need you to make me a promise; you hang on and heal, so when you wake up we can be there for each other again."

I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to her soft forehead. The contact electrocuted me, I jumped back quickly. What did I do?

She just laid there, her heart rate was stable, everything was stable.

After I felt comfortable leaving her for the night I made my way to Cisco's.

"Barry," He moved to the side and let me in. "I've been wondering when you'd show up."

I hesitantly moved inside, the air was already thick with tension for the argument that was about to come.

"We needed to talk."

He closed the door with a nod. "Yeah, we do."

"Look, I know you're my best friend and you've been the only person helping me with this, which is way more than I should've asked of you, but you had no right to call Joe. You knew I didn't want him to know."

He shook his head. "I didn't have a choice. I didn't know what to do with you besides give you an IV. His daughter is in the hospital because of a metahuman, he'd understand what you were trying to do."

"I just can't deal with this right now. I gotta go see Iris. I'll talk to you later." I headed for the door.

"Wait, there's more."

I slowly turned around, my hands on my hips. "Like what?"

He looked on the verge of crying and I'd only seen Cisco cry a handful of times. That meant this was serious. "I built the Cold Gun."

"You what?" I neared him. "How would you even build something like that?"

He looked away from me. "I built it with Dr. Wells."

"Dr. Wells? You've been working with him after we said we wouldn't? I thought you didn't trust him."

He shook his head as he looked back up at me. "No, you said you didn't trust him."

"So you built the gun for what reason?" I demanded.

He neared me, his voice low and his eyes pleading. "Don't be mad."

"Cisco!"

He swallowed. "We built it to stop you if anything ever happened."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. On top of everything my best friend was afraid of me, he didn't think I could remain good and not use my abilities for evil. A feeling a lot like betrayal simmered in me. I couldn't even look at him right now let alone hear what he had to say, so I headed for the exit.

He pulled on my arm and I shoved him off.

"You could've killed Iris! You could've killed me!"

His big brown eyes pleaded with mine. "I didn't think it would go that far, I didn't think this would happen!"

"That's the problem, Cisco! You _didn't_ think. You had more faith in Wells than you had in me."

He neared me, his hands up in a sign of peace. "It wasn't like that, Barry."

"Then how was it?"

He sighed and paced the floor. "I was trying to help, you know I'd never try to hurt you or Iris. I'm sorry!

"Sorry's not good enough!"

I stalked away.

The next day her hospital bed was empty, the room completely wiped of evidence that she'd ever rested there. This couldn't be what I thought it was. An empty pit started in my stomach as I fled the room.

Luckily, I saw a doctor I knew.

"Dad," I rushed toward him, not caring about the swarm of doctors asking him things. "Where's Iris? Is she okay?" I interrupted.

He grabbed my shoulders. "She's stable. Room 753." He pulled me to the side. "The receptionists said that streak guy brought her in. He saved her life. She had some swelling in her brain. She's still out cold."

I pulled away and headed for the stairs.

"Barry."

"What?" I demanded.

"We have to talk. Your school called."

With a sigh I headed towards the stairs. The elevators would only slow me down.

IRIS' POV:

My eyes fluttered open as I coughed. My throat felt like sandpaper. I took in the hospital's white walls and monitors, the incessant beeping. A sleeping Barry sat in those uncomfortable chairs with his head on the edge of the bed. His hand wrapped around mine.

My heart rate picked up a little. Having his big strong hand protecting mine tugged at my resolve. Seeing him here made me want to forget what had transpired between us. He was here, that meant he cared about me. Right?

"Barry?"

His hazel eyes flickered open as he registered that I was awake. He scooted his seat closer.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

I had to think about that. I tried to sit up and winced. A blinding pain throbbed in my head. "Well, I guess that was your answer."

He leaned forward, his forehead creased with worry. "You scared me."

I didn't know how to respond to that so I asked, "What am I doing here?"

"You got your ass kicked. Leonard Snart tried to kill you with a freeze ray. The Streak brought you in."

A small grin found my lips. "He did?"

He nodded. "Do you need something? Water? Food?"

"Maybe some water."

He rushed to get the water pitcher and a cup on the other side of the room. The open window brought in rays of sunlight.

"How long have I been here?"

He handed me the water cup gently, like I'd break if I didn't move at a speed of a half a mile an hour.

"Three days." He said as if it pained him. I could see the tired heavy eyes and light stubble darkening his face. "I was starting to think the worst, Iris."

My dad popped into my mind. "Where's my-"

"He went home to shower. He'll be back soon." He grabbed my hand again, his thumb rubbed against the skin. He gave a tired grin that still dazzled me. "I'm really glad that you're okay, Flower."

The monitor that showed my heart rate picked up as my eyes widened and I prayed by some miracle he'd lost his hearing for a few seconds. Nonetheless, his hearing worked fantastically as his eyes narrowed slightly and he rubbed my hand some more. Sure enough the monitor beeped and my whole body flushed.

"Are you okay, Flower?"

My eyes rolled. "Shut up." I pulled my hand away.

He grabbed it again. "I'm not letting you go this time..." He looked all vulnerable for a few seconds. "If that's alright with you?" His eyes drifted to mine.

With a deep breath, I really thought about it. With everything that's happened I really wanted to be furious with Barry, but looking at him now, having him be the first face I saw when I woke up meant a lot to me. I couldn't hold onto the past because that would destroy me and my future relationships. And despite everything, I wanted to believe Barry was a decent guy. The worry in his eyes were real.

I nodded. "I could really use another friend."

He relaxed a bit, letting a playful grin take over his face. "I knew you couldn't stay away."

"Oh, whatever, Allen. If anything, I'm taking pity on you." I teased.

He casually rolled his eyes. "You can't resist this face."

"You want to bet?" Even though I was in this bed I was feeling ballsy.

He moved closer until he was hovering over me, his face incredibly close to mine. I honestly thought my panties caught on fire as his mouth nuzzled into the curve of my neck. "I wouldn't test me right now, Iris. I would do just about anything to make you mine."

I wanted to tell him that he couldn't say stuff like that but the feel off his mouth trailing to my jaw made me sigh as my hand moved up to stop him, but it ended up fondling his stomach. My legs squeezed together. The heart monitor beeped out of this world.

A nurse rushed in here. "What is going on in here? Are you okay Ms. West?"

My hand slipped from his hard abs. I couldn't speak so I just grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

She gave Barry a narrowed once over before checking me out. "You should refrain from activities that make your heart race while you're in the hospital being monitored, Ms. West."

"We understand." Barry chided.

I gave her a tight smile as she exited. My hand flashed out to slap his chest. "What is wrong with you?" I met his eyes and regretted it.

"You almost died, Iris. I'm just taking liberties." He shrugged with a sly grin.

My head shook and I regretted it. "You better not ruin this for us this time."


	7. Big Eyes

Sorry for the short chapter, I wanted to give yall a small something before I went into work. Please review :)

The song for this chapter is Matt Corby - Big Eyes

IRIS' POV:

"Honey, what are you doing?" My dad asked.

I looked up from my black nail polish as I leaned on the headboard of my bed. "There's a thing called grooming, dad. We all gotta go through it."

He gave me a look as he entered. "Smartass."

I grinned. "What brings you by? Are you going to ask if I need help going to the bathroom again?"

He sat on the edge of my bed, a worried look in his dark eyes. "Do you?"

"Dad, I'm seventeen, not seven. I can handle myself. Well, in most situations. If it wasn't for The Streak I don't know where I'd be." I gave a tight grin.

He nodded. "I'm thankful for him taking you to the hospital."

That was really nice to hear. "So you don't think he needs to be stopped? You're going to call off the search?"

He held up his hands. "Woah, Iris. I can't talk Singh out of anything. This goes above my head."

My head hit the headboard as I sighed. "I just wished everyone believed in him the way I did. The blog is really picking up. A lot of people are really taking an interest in him."

"How do you know it's even a guy? It could be a girl."

I gave a tiny grin. "Well for one his voice is way deeper than mine."

"You heard his voice? And you didn't recognize him at all?"

"Nope. He does this thing where he vibrates his face and his vocal chords. It's pretty cool actually."

"You talking about The Streak again?"

We looked up to see Barry standing in the doorway, a bag in his hand and a light smirk on his clean shaven face.

"What else is new?" My dad said.

Not that I wasn't glad to see him, but what was he doing here? I glanced down at my clothes and was glad I had a sports bra on. If Barry saw my girls flopping then I'd be mortified.

"I gave Barry a key."

I looked to my dad. "Why?"

His brow rose as confusion darkened his eyes. "To keep an eye on you. I'd feel much better about leaving you alone with him around." He looked between the two of us and rose. He reached over to pat my knee. "Well, I gotta head to work. I'll try to check on you later." He bent down to kiss my forehead. "Love you, sweetie."

"Love you, too."

I watched him leave and went back to painting my nails. Barry went to lean against my oak desk, his muscled arms stretched the maroon sweater he wore. Tan pants covered his strong legs. He took off his shoes, his eyes scanned my room.

"What are you doing here?"

"Didn't Joe already cover that?"

My brow rose as I inspected my finished nails. I set the polish on a stack of books on the table.

"You're not still mad at me? I thought we were past that."

I smirked as I locked eyes with him through my lashes. "That doesn't mean I can't still give you a hard time."

He pushed off the desk and came to sit in front of me, his hand reached out towards me.

"What?"

"Give me your nail polish."

I made an uneasy face. "You want to paint your nails, too?"

His eyes rolled as he took it from my hands, then grabbed my foot and put it in his lap. "Your toes are looking a little crusty. Just because it's cold out doesn't mean you can let yourself go."

"Shut up." I tried to hide my laugh. We both knew I couldn't do my own toes because of my bruised ribs, it just wasn't going to happen.

He smiled up at me as he brushed over my toes with an ease I had to wonder about. "I used to paint Linda's toes."

At the mention of his girlfriend the remains of laughter faded. I composed myself.

"How are you two doing?" I figured it would be weird if I didn't ask. We were trying to be friends now. And I had to find a distraction from the feel of his hands on my foot.

"Who's to know? We're not exactly commutative lately. What with me getting suspended, she hasn't really responded to my calls."

My eyes widened. "You got suspended? For what?"

His hazel gaze met mine. "I gave Drew what he was asking for."

I made a face. "You had sex with him in the janitor's closet? I knew you were too pretty."

He cracked a grin as he shook his head. "No, Flower. I messed him up for talking to you like he did." He sighed. "I should've have let that go on. I'm really sorry, Iris."

I nodded. "I know. It's okay." A wave of trust washed over me.

"No, it's not." He switched feet.

"Won't you be shunned by your followers for beating up one of your own?"

He made an uneasy face. "I honestly could care less. Those people aren't my friends, Iris. I only had two friends and that was Cisco and Linda. Now I'm not so sure I have those anymore."

"What happened? It's not because of me is it?"

He stayed quiet for so long I didn't think he'd answer. "No." He muttered. "Because of me." He finished my feet in silence. He leaned down to get his bag from the floor.

My eyes took in my room, glad that it wasn't messy. I had a good room. Girly, but not too much pink. Colorful. Artsy. Mature. Rustic even. I wondered what his room looked like now. When we were kids it was practically covered in action figures and dirt.

"I brought you some things."

I didn't know what to do with my feet, I wanted to get them out of his way, but I didn't want to mess them up. He put them on either side of him as he scooted closer. Too close for friends. My throat felt suddenly dry.

"A few movies, my favorite book, and the thing I've missed the most," He grinned as he put the Glad container in my lap. He took off the lid.

My eyes widened. "You did not make our double chocolate brownies?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I did. They taste even better than when we were kids. Maybe because I hadn't had them in so long."

I reached for one then realized that was a no go. But I wanted one. I hadn't had these brownies in a fucking decade and I was seriously considering messing up my nearly perfect nails to shove it in my face and I didn't care how that would look in front of Barry.

He took one out and I stilled at the unexpected reach near my lady business, but then he brought it to my mouth.

Ignoring how intimate it was to have someone feed you, I bit into the brownie and instantly moaned. These were amazing beyond belief. I'd regret them later, but they were so chocolatey and moist.

"Can I have them all?" I pleaded around a mouth full of brownie.

He grinned at my debutant manners. "No, you can't. I made them for _us_."

I sneered at him. "I should kick your ass out for dangling them in my face only to take them away."

He put the rest to my mouth and I bit into it. "You wouldn't kick my ass out. You like it too much."

He spoke truth. He did have a nice ass.

"Well, you have soccer to thank for that."

With a chuckle he grabbed my laptop and opened it. "What's your password."

All the color drained from my face. "Just give it, I'm not telling you."

He shook his head. "Give up a little control, Flower. I made you brownies, didn't I?"

With an eye roll I muttered, "TheStreakIsHot95."

He leaned forward. "What?" His voice amused.

I glared at him. "TheStreakIsHot95."

"That's what I thought you said." He typed it in. He gave me a questioning look when he turned the laptop and there was my porn tabs open for all to see.

I didn't know what to say so I just closed out of it.

He was trying to contain his laughter but failed miserably.

"Don't even give me that, Barry. I get lonely, too. We can't all have a flock of guys following us."

He nodded. "Why don't you have a boyfriend? Lord knows you can get one if you wanted. And I don't know why I'm saying this, but why not just tell that Eddie guy how you feel, see where it goes?"

The mention of Eddie really confused me, I thought he didn't like him. "Eddie and I aren't going to happen, Barry. He seems me as a kid. It's not going to happen."

"You don't know that. And by the way he was looking at you I'm sure he doesn't see you as a kid. Again, I don't know why I'm saying this. And if not Eddie, there are other guys at school that would be thrilled to go out with you."

That was nice of him to say, to lie, but it didn't help.

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough. "Oh, yeah? Who?" I asked incredulously.

"I can give you a list, Flower. Trust me it's long."

I couldn't fight the smile he was pulling out of me. "You're just saying that."

He gave me a quizzical look that had my eyes closing in on his open mouth. "I really want to tell you just how hot you are, but I made you a promise. I'm not going to ruin us this time." His eyes ran over my exposed legs in my red boy shorts, to my chest in my black cami, and then up to my face. "And while I'm being honest, if we're going to be seeing more of each other then you need to cover up more. I do not want to explain to Joe how I always have a hard on around you. Then again, it's not like he doesn't know."

I gaped at him, not really believing it came out of his mouth.

He focused on my laptop again. "Don't give me that look, Flower. You know how it is."

When would I get used to Barry being this way? Where had the little boy with glasses and a shy attitude gone? Maybe the better question was how long could we go without pushing past the limit? It was obvious that we both had an attraction to each other, but that attraction weighed far less than what our friendship used to be.

He sighed. "So I have to ask. What's the deal with you and this streak guy?"

I shrugged. "I don't know." A wave of excitement washed over me. "You know me, I don't believe in things I can't see and I didn't think that he was real. But he is real and he saved my life twice, Barry." I said, hoping he'd have a little faith in what I had faith in.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you're still here, but do you really think writing a blog about him is safe? I mean, this guy has enemies, right? What if they come after you because they think you know something?"

I've thought about that, but I was willing to risk it to inspire people.

"People to deserve to know, Bear."

He froze at the nickname I hadn't used in a while.

"And he knows me somehow. At least, I think he does."

He reached for the top coat and started applying it to my nails. When I gave him a questioning look he muttered, "I know about the top coat, go on."

With a half grin I continued. "He said I was wearing my name tag when he first rescued me, but I don't think I was. And he knew where I lived, which is a little creepy, but I'm willing to overlook that. I think I'm bringing my dad around."

"Well, I think he appreciates your enthusiasm, but how would he feel if he knew you were risking your life to promote him?"

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I haven't really seen a lot of him lately." I saddened.

His green eyes narrowed. "So you have a crush on him, is that it?"

"No," I thought about it some more. "I mean, he can really wear that scarlet suit and it's kind of hot to see him save people, but it's not like I know him enough to say I like him."

"You don't have to know someone to have a crush on them, Flower."

I bit down into my lip as I pondered it. "True. I don't know. But I'm not doing this because I have a crush on him. I want people to believe in him as much as I do."

"Then maybe you should call him something other than The Streak." He cracked a playful grin.

My lips pursed. "Maybe you're right. Suggestions?"

He thought about it for a moment then looked up at me. "The Flash."

I imagined it in print. The Flash...Saved by The Flash. He rescues the city one by one in a Flash. I nodded. "It has a ring to it."

"Okay, enough superhero talk. Let's watch some movies." He held up three movies that I knew all too well. "Pick your poison; Mean Girls, 21 Dresses, Pitch Perfect."

With a laugh I picked Pitch Perfect.

He popped it in the laptop and we had the brownies between us. "So what kind of porn do you like?"

I elbowed him in the side. "Bite me."

"Bondage, got it."

I rolled my eyes.

He scooted close beside me as the movie started. We laughed at the appropriate parts, namely anything with Fat Amy. I knew Barry wasn't going to let labels like chick flicks stop him from enjoying a movie, but I knew he brought them for my benefit. "She's the best."

"Right?" I agreed.

He pulled me close, his arm around my shoulder. At this angle the only logical and comfortable thing to do was rest my head on his shoulder. My body was stiff beyond belief. He offered me another brownie and I took it. "I'm glad you gave me another chance." He laid his head on top of mine.

I relaxed. "Me, too."

A/N: Please don't be afraid to review and submit prompts :) I take everything into consideration. Have a nice day yall! :)


	8. Song For

Thanks, everyone, I love reviews! They are much appreciated and it really makes me smile when I get them! :) The song for this chapter is Matt Corby - Song For

BARRY'S POV:

"Okay, do this last equation then we can call it a day." I encouraged.

We sat on the couch, a box of pizza and a few sodas in front of us. I wasn't sure if I was cut out for this whole tutoring thing. Principal Sanchez wanted me to be back in good standing with the school after I gave it to Drew in the parking lot. At the time, I didn't know what I was doing, I just had to hit something and part of me knew that it had to come to this. He had to pay for what he'd done to iris.

So here I was, tutoring the new transfer in math and science after school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Needless to say, I was a little irritated. I needed to get back out there, the rush I felt saving people could only be described as similar to how I feel when Iris smiles at me. A tiny miracle that I wasn't sure I'd ever get again.

Speaking of an angel, she opened the door and walked in. "Can I just tell you that being back at school sucks the biggest sweatiest dick." She had food in her hands. "Everyone was-Uh." She stopped in her tracks when she noticed us.

I chuckled then looked over at Ronnie laughing.

"Don't let us interrupt you," He cracked a grin at her.

She blushed. "Nah, that's okay." She looked at me. "Who's this, Barry?"

"Oh, right." I motioned between them. "This is Ronnie Raymond. He just transferred last week."

He stood up and towered over her as he held out his hand. "You must be Iris West."

She grinned as she took his hand in hers. "Yes, that is I." She made a weird face and fled to the kitchen with the food.

Ronnie turned to me as he plopped down on the couch. "I heard the rumors, but I had no idea she was so fucking hot, Allen."

I glared at him with hard eyes. "No."

"No as in you don't think she's Grade A meat?"

I leaned in closer to whisper. "Just no. If you try anything with Iris I will put my foot so far up your ass."

His forehead creased. "She's your girl?"

No. She wasn't.

"She's my childhood best friend. She's a sweet girl, don't mess around with her to prove something. She's not looking for a hookup in a parking lot, Ronnie."

He held his hands up. "Okay, chill Allen. I wasn't trying to step on any toes. I'll reign it in."

My eyes rolled as I grabbed the work and checked it.

"Hey, Bear." Iris came to lay her arms on the back of the couch, her chin on her hands as she looked up at me. "What are we doing tonight? I need to dress appropriately."

I leaned back to look at her, my hand rested on her elbow. "I'm not telling you. It's called a surprise for a reason, Flower."

She looked embarrassed that I called her a childhood nickname in front of somebody other than Joe. I couldn't much blame her, but I liked having Ronnie know there was history between us.

"Can I at least know the surrounding area? I'm not showing up in yoga pants and tennis shoes if we're going someplace halfway decent."

I smirked, knowing she hated it as much as she loved it when I did that. "You could just wear nothing."

She smacked my chest. "Behave in front of guests." She tried to fight her grin while she pushed off the couch and headed upstairs. "I'll be up in your room." She called.

I could practically feel both of us harden. Trust me, I know how weird that sounded, but hey. Iris West was not just any girl. Having her as a friend again was really testing my resolve. Having her upstairs and in my room was testing my willpower as a man.

Ronnie snapped his head around to stare at me. "Dude," He whispered. "You better be getting that."

I glared at him. "Don't talk about her like that. Besides it's not like that."

After I finished checking his work and gave him a few pointers he left. The stairs were starting to look ten miles long as I stared at them. With a sigh I made my way up them, I closed my door behind me. Of course, Iris was spread out on my bed with a textbook in her hands. Trying to respect both Iris and Joe I sat on the floor, leaned my back against the bed.

I just let her do her thing while I thought. Cisco popped into my mind. We hadn't spoken for like three weeks. On a scale of ten I'd say it was about a thirty. Sure, I really missed my best friend, but I didn't know how to trust him. Especially, around Iris. Her injuries could've led to something truly terrible.

"What's on your mind, handsome?" Iris moved so she was laying on her stomach, her head on her shoulder as she looked at me. "Is it Cisco again?"

I turned my head. "Yeah."

"Why won't you just talk to him? I'm sure whatever he did, whatever you won't tell me, isn't worth losing a friendship with you over. Trust me, I know how it feels."

When she said stuff like that...I just couldn't help but gaze at her. We'd come a significant way since that day I gave her a ride. I was sort of glad that things played out how they did, we both got things off our chest. Granted, there were still things lingering beneath the surface for us both, we wouldn't bring them up.

"Barry, you're an amazing guy. Granted, you think too much of yourself sometimes," She grinned. "You're still a really great friend. And you can be sweet when you want to. I'm sure Cisco misses that."

I gave her a look. "You're very right, but Cisco and I have a completely different relationship than you and I."

She smirked. "How is that?"

"For one, I don't cater to his every waking need."

She sneered. "You do not."

I gave her a look.

"Okay, maybe you do. Sometimes. It's not like I ask you to, you just do it because you're my friend."

"I do it because I want to. Secondly," I leaned closer. "Him laying on my bed has never been so arousing."

She stilled, her eyes widened. "Oh. Is that why you're on the floor?"

My brow rose. "I don't think you want me to come up there."

She looked like she was considering it as she bit her bottom lip.

That was the last thing I wanted to see.

"Okay."

My forehead creased. "Okay, what?"

"Come up here." She didn't sound so sure of it herself. She gazed at me with those brown eyes.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Flower." How was I the one concerned for the basis of our friendship?

She looked embarrassed then she buried her head in the covers. "Why are we doing this?" She muffled. "Why are we like this?"

"I don't know." I put my arm on the bed and layed my head down. "Ten years changed a lot for us. Not that you weren't beautiful back then, but you've grown into this incredibly gorgeous woman and I'm really glad you turned out amazing. I don't know how I would've felt it things were bad for you."

She peeped up. "I should've fought harder for you. I think about what it would've been like if were always close." She propped her head up on her hand.

"Do you think we would've, you know, been together by now?"

She gave a tiny smile. "I don't know, maybe. Probably. Then again, we might've just been brother and sister practically."

I shook my head.

"What is it?"

I sat up, running my hand through my hair. "I just, I've never seen you that way. Even back then I had a crush on you."

Her eyes widened as she covered her mouth. "Shut up?"

"Yeah, I did." I grinned sourly. "And maybe that's why I pushed you away the hardest. I already lost one woman I cared about, I didn't want to lose another."

Tears pricked at her eyes, she blinked the back as she reached out. "Oh, Bear."

We wrapped each other up. I wasn't sure how long we stayed that way, but all I knew was that it felt nice and I didn't want to lose this ever again.

IRIS' POV:

I walked down the hall, keeping my eyes ahead of me when I saw something out the corner of my eye. Cisco fell to floor. Drew snickered over him with his friends as they sauntered down the hall.

I walked over and slid down next to him..

"You okay?"

He shrugged. "No."

I watched Drew and his boys turn the corner. He glanced back at me with a snicker and a wink. Hatred filled me. Ironic how I used to feel that every time I looked at Barry. Time really does change things.

"Cisco," I looked at him. "It's none of my business, but this rift between you and Barry isn't healthy. I hardly know you, but I know Barry. He misses you. A lot. I see you walking alone to class, sitting in the library. You don't have to be alone."

He nodded. "I do. I messed up big."

"Whatever it is, why can't you two just talk it out?"

"Because Barry hates me and he loves you."

I stilled. "What are you talking about?"

"It's always been you, Iris. Even when you thought he hated you, he was in love with you. I jeopardized that. That's all I can say."

While I didn't think that was Cisco's business to tell, I didn't know if i believed him. Barry Allen in love with me? I shook my head. We were friends.

"So that's it? You're just going to go through life like this? Stand up for what you want, Cisco."

He gave a sour chuckle. "It's not that simple, Iris. We can't all have sup-" He stopped talking.

"We can't all have what?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, I'm just going on about nothing." He rose to his feet.

"I have an idea. Probably a bad one, but an idea." I grinned.

His eyes narrowed. "Oh, no you don't."

I brought Cisco back to my place after school. Hopefully, this would work. I wasn't one for sneak attacks, but this had gone on long enough. I was tired of seeing Barry half there. So I told him to come over when he got home. Cisco and I were in the kitchen.

Cisco paced the floor. "I shouldn't have come."

I sat at the table. "Relax. Everything will work out eventually."

A few minutes passed.

"I thought you had to go to work," Barry called as he came into the house.

"I do, this will only take a minute."

He stopped in the doorway when he saw Cisco. "What's he doing here?" He looked to me as if I had betrayed him.

I rose and walked to him. "This fight between you has gone on long enough. I know you miss him." I looked back at Cisco. "And Cisco misses you. So get over yourselves and squash the drama."

Cisco took a step forward, hope in his eyes. "I will if you will."

A grin formed on my lips as I looked at Barry.

He stared down at me with conflicted hazel eyes. I could see he was almost there, all he needed was a little push. Maybe a hard shove. He turned his gaze on Cisco. "I can forgive you for what you've done, but I can't forget."

The smile fell from my lips.

"What could be so bad that it can't be fixed?"

Cisco fled the kitchen, angry. "I should've never come."

"Can't wait to get back to Dr. Wells, huh?" Barry scowled.

Cisco halted. "What else do you want me to say? I can't go back and change the past, Barry."

He nodded. "Well, I hope you learn from your mistakes."

After a moment Cisco left and it was just Barry and I standing in my kitchen. And I realized he was about to turn that anger on me. Great.

He groaned. "Iris, I told you to stay out of it."

My arms folded across my chest. "I was only trying to help. Doesn't that count for something?"

He sighed, his hands ran over his head as he gave me some space. "Look, there's things going on, things that have been happening before you and I became close again, that I can't tell you about."

"What kind of things?"

Our eyes locked. "Things that would put you in danger if I told you about them."

In that moment I realized I've been pretending that Barry was the same seven year old boy, but I didn't really know him all that well. He's just been there for me, which was all I needed to know. Now I was questioning if he was who I thought he was.

"What's that supposed to mean? That doesn't make the situation go away."

"I only told you so you'd back off."

Offended, I popped my hip out and glared at him. "So now I'm overbearing?"

He rolled his eyes. "That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant."

He ran his hands over his face, then faced me. "Look, there's some things that I want you to be apart of and then there are things that you can't be apart of. This is one of them."

With that kick in the gut I started for the door.

"Come on, don't leave mad."

I threw my hands up in aggravation. "Some of us have to work, Allen."

The next day, I was minding my own business walking to class when I was abruptly pulled to the side. Darkness surrounded me and all I could see was a tall figure. Thinking it was some big baddie I assumed the kick some ass stance I learned as a kid with Barry and my dad. Already in a not so hot mood my fist struck their center, which was a very hard chest.

They groaned.

"Remind me not to sneak up on a cop's daughter again."

Guilt sprouted. "Barry?" I leaned forward, my hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay? Why did you pull me aside like some psycho?"

"I thought it would be cool." He breathed shallowly as he looked up at me with impressed green eyes.

My hands searched for a light, but couldn't find one.

"Where are we?"

"The janitor's closet."

I pulled out my phone and looked around us. "Very funny."

He yanked down the chord a few feet from us and the tiny closet lit up. Well, that was prehistoric.

"We really shouldn't be in here and won't the light tell I don't know, a janitor, that we're trespassing?"

He took out his phone and turned on the LED app before pulling down the chord again. Our faces were the only things lit. "Better?"

"What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you."

I thought of how odd it was for him to wait in here until I walked by and grinned.

"In the janitor's closet?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I wanted to have my way with you in here." He smirked.

My finger presented itself between the middle of us. "Kiss my ass."

He chuckled. "Seriously, I know that I was a jerk yesterday and the previous days. I didn't mean to yell at you, I just...this thing between Cisco and me, it's between us. I can't involve you in it."

"Are you in some kind of trouble? Barry, my dad's a cop, which you already know. He can help you."

He shook his head. "I'll manage on my own. I just wanted to know that I appreciate what you did."

I made a face. "And you couldn't have told me that over text?"

He gave a tiny grin. "Some things are better face to face." His eyes ran over me.

My throat felt dry. I avoided his eyes.

Two days later:

BARRY'S POV:

Just one more.

My biceps burned as the lactic acid built up. Just one more. I pulled the seventy five pound dumbbells up to my chest with a strained breath. My muscles screamed in happiness once I put the weights down.

I was the only one in the weight room this late on a Friday, which I was glad about. When I worked out I tended to make some weird noises, more like grunts that I didn't want anyone to hear. Being that I was kind of avoiding Iris the last few days this was the perfect place to be.

She called me and stopped by but I had to tell her I was busy with school work and tutoring and Linda to have much time. I knew she didn't buy it because she was Iris and she could see through bullshit with a telescope. If I was smart, I'd tell her to give me some space, but I'd know how that would sound, like I didn't want the relationship, but I did. Quite honestly, I wanted more and I got the inkling Iris wanted more, but neither of us would risk what we just got back. Tricky stuff.

On my way out my truck with my bag swung over my shoulder I noticed Linda leaning against the passenger door. I thought back to when it was just her and me running around playing tag. Those were good days. I missed those days. Despite her outward appearance, she wasn't a stereotype popular girl. Yeah, she was popular, but she was also brilliant and honest. Easy going when you were being honest with her, which was why we were having so many problems. I wasn't being honest with her about so much. She didn't trust me. I couldn't blame her.

Her arms were crossed, she wore a tired frown as she noticed me.

I stopped in front of her, not knowing what to say.

"We need to talk, Barry."

I nodded. "I know."

"Are you sure you know because you've been acting like everything's been okay."

With a sigh I grabbed her hand and lead her to the bed where we sat. There was no easy way to do this. I didn't have a great track record when it came to keeping people in my life.

"I'm sorry." I told her.

She nodded. "Me, too."

We stayed quiet.

"I'm not mad, just disappointed. I thought we were closer than this. Ever since you brought Iris back into your life things have been stiff between us."

I couldn't disagree with that.

"This isn't about Iris."

She nodded. "I know, but I also know that you still think about her, I'm not stupid, Barry." She playfully shoved my shoulder. "I have eyes. The way you look at her, the way you've always looked at her hasn't changed. I just thought I could ignore it. Now that you've made up, there just wasn't room for me."

Guilt washed over me. "Linda, it's not like that."

She gave a sad smirk. "Yeah, it is. I don't blame you. This relationship has become more of a burden than a reward and we both know it's time to call it quits."

I nodded. "I think you're right." I should've done this long ago, it wasn't right to date someone while you're constantly thinking of another person.

She held her hand out. "So, let's call it."

I grasped it and shook her hand. "It's been one hell of a ride, Linda Park."

"You, too, Barry Allen." She nodded.

I pulled her to me, wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry this couldn't work out."

Her arms squeezed me as she gave a muffled cry. "Me, too."

We stayed like that for a while until she pulled away, her eyes down.

"I need to get going. My mom's making dinner and I kind of have to be there."

I nodded as I let her go. "See you around?"

She grinned. "Yeah."

IRIS'S POV:

During work Eddie had come up and asked me the one thing that I thought was off the table, "Do you want to grab something to eat after you clock out?"

Surprised, I had to think about it. I was already behind in school work, and I didn't think it would be the smartest thing to go stuffing my pie hole, but I couldn't deny how unlikely it was I'd get this opportunity again. So I took it.

We strolled side by side. I wasn't sure if it was as awkward for him as it was for me, but it sure felt like it. "So, Eddie, I have to ask. Is this a date or...?" My breath in a cloud in front of me. My peacot was doing little to nada for me.

He gave a shy grin. "I'd very much like it if it was."

A little stunned, I responded with an awkward laugh.

"Unless you don't want it to be?" He gestured cautiously, worry in his blue eyes.

Did I want it to be a date? Yes. Of course. I've never been on a date before, I just didn't know this was my first opportunity. I would've dressed to the nines and shaved my legs if I knew this evening would lead to the only date I was likely to ever have.

I nodded. "I just didn't think you saw me that way, like ever." I gave a nervous laugh.

He grinned. "No, I saw you that way. You're in high school, Iris. I'm about to graduate from college, that's kind of a big gap in our lives."

"So what changed? It is because I'm graduating in December?"

His brow rose. "You're graduating early?"

I nodded. If I could stop thinking about hotties and put my attention to hardcovers, I'd be okay.

"I don't know what changed. I kept thinking what if that turned out to be something great and what if I miss it because I'm trying to do the right thing. And I know that you and your friend are complicated-"

"We're not complicated."

He gave me a look. "I think he thinks its complicated."

Truly, it was complicated and I didn't know what that said about Barry and I that Eddie noticed. But Barry and I weren't ever going to take that risk, at least I didn't think we were. So I deserved to have a date with a hot college guy. Didn't I?

"That doesn't frighten you off?" I asked him, my hands in my pockets.

"Honestly, yes. But things are not always what they seem, so I thought I'd ask you anyway."

I grinned. "So you knew this whole time I had a crush on you and you didn't say anything because I'm still in high school."

He scratched his jaw. "That about sums it up. But your dad's a detective, I should've waited a little longer. He's a little scary."

My head shook. "What my dad doesn't know won't kill him, besides I'm about to graduate in a few months. And it's not like we're getting married. It's just a first date. A test run."

He nodded along. "You're right." I could tell he was still nervous. "Here," He offered me his coat. "That's what they always do in the movies, right?"

I nodded. "Thanks. So what do you like to do for fun?"

"Uh, I like to watch the news, read the newspaper. Criminal Minds is a favorite of mine. Law and Order." He gave a sheepish grin. "I'm a bore, I don't know what to tell you."

I laughed, pulling his coat tighter. "No, we're on the same page. All I really do is study and work. According to Barry, I'm a grandma on the excitement scale."

He gave a tiny grin.

There was awkward silence for a minute.

"So how'd you get into Criminal Justice?"

A little life came to his eyes. "Believe it or not, I was undecided my freshman year and I went to Starling City with a friend for a weekend bash. One thing lead to another and I had too many drinks. The next thing I know is I'm stumbling around downtown. A group of guys jumped me, they thought I looked rich or something and-"

"The Arrow saved you?"

He nodded. "He swooped in and saved me from possibly being killed. I owe him my life. And I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanted to be like him, so I signed up for Criminal Justice."

I bit my lip. That was a horrible thing, but I could completely relate. "I have this blog, it's anonymous, and it's a dedication to The Flash."

His eyes widened. "That's your blog?"

I gave a tight smile, nervous that he'd seen it. "Yeah,"

"I'm impressed, Ms. West. I'm one of your followers."

I grinned. "Thank you. You have your coping methods, I have mine." I turned to him, an elated grin in place. "He saved my life and I've seen him do impossible things. Everyone was tossing around this idea that there was something saving people, so I decided to put a name to it."

"That's amazing. Even though he isn't abiding by our laws, I respect the work he does. We're going to need him around." He looked hesitant, but continued. "Have you noticed the tension in the air lately? It's like something's waiting to make a move."

My brows knit together. "You think something bad's going to happen?"

He sighed. "I don't know, it's just a feeling I can't seem to shake."

I wondered what that could be? I hadn't felt anything like that, but I have been feeling this electric tang to the air whenever Barry was near.

We turned toward the grunts to find Cisco was on the ground, getting kicked and punched by Drew and his goons. How had we not seen that sooner?

Eddie and I crossed the street. "Hey, what's going on here?" He demanded.

I went to Cisco, who was bleeding on the cold ground. His lip was busted, his eye swollen. I knew there were wounds I couldn't see. "Are you okay?" I clutched him to me. Tears ran down his face and it broke my heart.

"Oh, you gonna cry, Cisco?" Drew asked.

Eddie put space between them and us. "Why don't you guys head home before we have to involve the cops."

"No." Cisco demanded.

I rubbed his arm.

Electricity crackled in the air. I swung around in time to see Barry charging Drew.

"Barry, no!" I begged.

He wailed on Drew. Eddie tried to step in but Drew's goons held him back. Drew was fighting back. I didn't want this to be a fair fight, but it was turning into that.

"Stop it!" I left Cisco to pull Barry away from the chaos only to get knocked on my ass, my jaw stung from a punch. My hand flew to my face.

Barry looked back at me with a bloody nose and shock in his hazel eyes as he registered what happened, what Drew did. That only seemed to anger him more.

Eddie pushed the guys off of him and helped me up. "Iris, are you okay?"

I nodded, tears in my eyes. I'd never had anyone hit me before, least of all a guy. Barry beating the crap out of Drew for my benefit again didn't help much. "Make it stop." I begged Eddie.

Cisco was up before we knew it and he had Barry back in a headlock. I didn't know how strong he was, but holding Barry back in the rage he was in was something I didn't think he had in him. "Stop. It's over."

The goons stood in shock as Drew groaned on the ground, his face bloody and beaten.

Barry struggled. "Let me go." He struggled away and scrambled for Drew. Cisco fell back down.

"Barry, stop!" I cried.

He paused mid punch to look back at me. Our eyes locked. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. Some anger faded when he took me in. I pleaded with my eyes for him not to keep going. With a scowl he turned back to Drew. He grabbed his shirt as he stood, dragging Drew with him.

"If you ever come near my friends I will make sure you can never play soccer again." He threw him a few feet back. He pointed to the other two guys. "That goes for you two also."

They glared at him as they helped Drew stand and eventually stumbled down the street.

Barry turned to Cisco, regret in his eyes. He reached down to help him up.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you." Cisco offered a casual smirk.

Barry nodded. "Yes, I did."

I hadn't noticed that Eddie still had me wrapped in his arm until Barry looked at us. Suspicion and more anger all over him. I pulled away from Eddie and stumbled to him.

Surprisingly myself I punched him in the arm.

He held his shoulder. "Ow, why?"

"Because you could've gotten really hurt, Barry!" My eyes scanned his face. A bloody nose, a busted lip and a bruised cheek. My hand went out to touch them.

He winced. "Easy, Flower." He reached out to touch my jaw, his eyes surveyed me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Thank you for defending me." A tear escaped my stupid sensitive eyes.

He wiped it away. "Always." He offered a half smirk that made me laugh. He looked over my shoulder. "Are you on a date without me?"

My eyes widened as I remembered Eddie. Shit. I was still wearing his coat.

"Um, I hate to do this, but can we have a raincheck?" I handed him the coat back.

He nodded. "Of course." Although he didn't look too sure about it. "You guys okay? Do you need a ride somewhere?"

I was about to tell him yeah because I walked to work to clear my head when Barry stepped in, his hand on the small of my back. "I'll take her home. I have to explain why she has a swollen jaw." Even as he said it I sunk into him, needing a little comfort right now. I sighed as I realized how this would look.

Eddie gave me a tight grin. "I'll call you."

Yeah, right.

"Okay." I waved lamely at him.

A/N: Hope yall enjoyed. Please review. Also I'm thinking about starting another Flash story.


	9. Haunted

The song for this chapter is Beyonce - Haunted...yes from 50 Shades of Grey...don't judge me yall.

IRIS'S POV:

I tossed and turned practically the whole night. All I could think about was what I was going to do about Eddie. Sure, I didn't really know him, but it could go somewhere. I didn't want to be alone forever. The thunder and lightning didn't really help. Thank God tomorrow or I guess this morning is Saturday.

With an irritated groan, I put the pillow over my head and kicked my legs in the bed. If I was as irresistible as Barry let on why didn't I have a date before now?

My door creaked open an inch and my heart stopped in my chest. My dad still wasn't home what if we were being robbed? I was about to die. Or they were going to still my laptop and I was still watching The 100 because of those stupid commenters on my forum...surprisingly good show. I have to find out if Bellamy and Clarke get together, that's not an option. So I stealthily rose to my feet and yanked the door open with a stern look.

"Barry?" I relaxed, then I stilled again.

His bruises were practically invisible in the dark. He had on grey sweatpants that were just as distracting as the invisible shirt he had on. Hard vanilla planes taunt and on display for my eyes. He stepped forward. "I couldn't sleep alone."

Awww. I made a pouty face as I pulled him inside my room. We got into bed and I thought maybe I'd be able to get some sleep now. I laid on my side, giving him some room. Honestly, Barry was a big guy, tall and not too muscular. Then he wrapped that well-defined arm around my waist and pulled me to his bare chest, his mouth right by my neck.

"You comfy?" He asked, his breath made me shiver.

"Yup."

With his hand on my stomach, I couldn't help but imagine it going deeper until it was in my panties.

"Why is your heart beating so fast, Flower?" He teased.

"Eat me, Allen."

That was not the words to say because he grunted and it went down to my lady business. "Don't tempt me."

With the sensations he was giving me right now I had to get comfortable because I couldn't fall asleep like this tonight or ever. Only my butt brushed up against his very attentive you know what.

"Would you stop moving around?" He huffed.

"You're the one that came over here all shirtless and wounded. You think this is easy for me?"

He stayed silent for a bit until he said, "Do you want me to go?" He removed his arm.

My leg swung over his to pull him back as I pulled his arm back, his big strong hand pressed against my stomach. I should've felt self-conscious about that, but somehow it made me feel even more wanted. I wiggled into him and finally got comfortable.

"So I guess that's a no?" He chuckled.

With a roll of my eyes I asked, "How's Cisco? You took him home, right?"

"Actually, he's sleeping in the guest room at my house. We stayed up talking for a while. I think we're going to be good."

Cisco's words kept coming back to me, that was partially why I couldn't sleep. I really wanted to ask Barry about it, but I knew that would lead to an beyond awkward conversation neither of us was willing to have at this point in time or like ever.

"Are you going to ever tell me what it was about?"

His forehead rested on my shoulder, his breath fanned across my back. "We've talked about this, Iris. I can't have you involved."

"What? You don't trust me, is that it?"

He popped his head up. He pulled me over so he could look me in the eyes. "You think I don't want to tell you what's going on with me? I want to tell you everything, but I can't." His hazel eyes worried.

Nervously, I bit my bottom lip.

He sighed, his eyes on my mouth. "Linda and I broke up today."

My heart stilled in my chest as gulped. "Sorry?" Even though I felt bad for him I was a little happy about that. I really did try to fight the smile on my lips, but it came through anyway.

He gave a small laugh then his forehead creased. "So you were really on a date with that Eddie guy?"

I nodded, glad for the topic change. "Yeah, it was going great. Totally unexpected though."

He looked off to the side. "Is there going to be another date?"

"I'm not sure. Things got kind of heavy tonight. Then there's the little fact that he knows we're not exactly conventional."

His eyes met mine, his brow lifted. "Are you saying I'm in the way?"

"No, not at all." I turned around to face him better, his hand now on the small of my back. "It's just things are a bit complicated between us and it kind of feels strange to talk to you about it."

"Well, I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness."

I wanted to tell him he made me happy, but I knew that wouldn't help anything.

"So you're saying I should date Eddie?"

He nodded and it looked like it pained him to do so. "Yes, if it makes you happy."

Dating Eddie was something I wasn't even sure was on the table. Barry telling me to date Eddie stung a little, not going to lie. I didn't want to cry in front of him so I just snuggled up under him, his chin rested on my head.

BARRY'S POV:

I couldn't fall asleep after telling Iris to do what made her happy. I wanted her to be happy, but not with Eddie. So I stayed awake for the remaining hours of darkness, thinking about how ironic it was that I just got out of a relationship and she was about to start one. Fucked up, right?

A noise came from downstairs and my first thought was Joe was going to kill me for sleeping in Iris' bed without a shirt. I disentangled from her, grinning as she made a kissy face.

"You're dirty." She muttered.

Huh?

She giggled.

My eyes narrowed. She sleep talked?

"Mmh, Barry."

Too shocked for words I had to rush out the room before I could process what just happened. I shuffled down the stairs to find Joe resting his head on the door. He glanced back at me with tired red eyes.

"What happened?" I asked him.

He sighed, his hand squeezed his forehead. "Chyre died last night. Where were you?" His eyes narrowed. "Why are you shirtless? You and Iris didn't...?"

My hands raised in front of me protectively. "Not what you think, I promise." I glanced back up the stairs. "She's sound asleep. There was something I needed to talk to you about and I know you're going to freak so try to remember that I handled it as best as I could?"

He stepped forward, a predatory glare in his eyes. "What did you do to my daughter?"

"Nothing, I swear. It's just some guys from the team beat up Cisco downtown last night and and Iris was there when I pulled it apart. She tried to stop it and Drew hit her by accident and I lost it and I don't know how I stopped hitting him because I really wanted to kill him because all I could see was Iris' shocked face and I knew he had to pay for what he did." I rushed out nervously.

He stared at me with confused and angry eyes. With a grunt he headed up the stairs. "Go home, son. I'll deal with you later."

I nodded. My hand on the doorknob, I turned back. "Joe, I'm really sorry about Chyre."

He gave a curt nod. "Me, too."

I left.

With everything on my mind I walked around for a bit, not caring about the no shirt in freezing weather thing. Honestly, I think my nipples would break off if I flicked them. Probably not a good thing.

Something hit me on the back of the head, my vision blurred as I fell to the ground.

I sat up with a gasp. My eyes glanced around in a hurry. Where was I? Monitors, arrows, and a green suit was the only things in this place. My head throbbed.

"You're awake. Good."

I turned around at the deep voice. A guy with longish hair and a polo on stood near what had to be the exit. My eyes flashed back to the suit, then the arrows. No way. "You're him?!"

He gave a stiff nod. "We need to talk."

I jumped off the stainless steel table. "This is awesome. This is your hideout?" I grinned.

He crossed his arms. "You're not being careful enough, Barry."

"How do you know my name? Wait, you hit me on the head to get me here."

"Sorry."

"You couldn't have just asked me to come?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't have anyone knowing where you were. Anything leading back to me is dangerous for my loved ones, which is exactly why I brought you here." He gestured for me to follow him. He pulled up various pictures of me around Central City. Some in the Flash suit, some with Cisco and Iris. Some by myself. "If I can figure out who you are, far more powerful people can, too. They can use your identity against you. They can make you do whatever they want, they can threaten and kill your loved ones."

My mind went to Joe, Iris, Cisco, and my dad. "What can I do to stop that? I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Then you do what I tell you. You need a more sophisticated system. You and Mr. Roman won't cut it."

I nodded. "There's this guy, he wants to help me, but I don't know if I can trust him. Can I trust you?"

"You know my secret and I know yours. You can trust me."

I wanted to believe him. He was the Arrow after all. His methods were rumored to be a bit violent, but he fought far bigger fish than I did. Wait...

"Aren't you Oliver Queen? You went missing a few years ago. I thought the police cleared you of being a suspect."

He stood. "I orchestrated my arrest. My cover is all I have. Follow me. We have a lot to do."

A/N: Apologies for the short chapter. I'd much rather give yall longer chapters, but I like to upload frequently and longer chapters take longer time. Also, shoutout to Ravenbabe321, her fanfiction The Bear and The Flower inspired me to write this or at least to use the whole "Bear" and "Flower" nickname thing. Yall should check it out!  s/11193490/1/The-Bear-and-the-Flower

Please review!


	10. My Own

The song for this chapter is Whitaker - My Own

BARRY'S POV:

"Why do I have this big hoodie on?" I asked Oliver as we shuffled into his car. "I don't think this is necessary. No one will recognize me. I've never even been to Starling City before."

He shut the door behind me then made his way over behind the wheel. "Facial recognition software."

"So, are you saying the police will be after me soon? How long have I been unconscious?"

"Two days. You needed the rest."

My eyes widened. "Two days? I need to call my dad. Iris is probably freaking out. Where's my phone?"

He started the car. "You can't worry about that right now."

I balked. "They're going to think something bad happened to me."

"They'll get over it."

"Is that what you told yourself those five years you were stranded in the middle of nowhere? That your family would get over it?"

He met my eyes. "I was fighting for my life, Barry. Of course, I worried about them, but I had to think of myself if I wanted to see them again if I wanted them to be safe." He averted his gaze. "First lesson. Distance yourself from your loved ones."

IRIS'S POV:

The sound of voices woke me up. I pushed off from the bed, realizing Barry wasn't in it.

Cisco and my dad were standing in the living room with heavy stances. They turned at my clumsy descend down the stairs.

"What's going on?"

My dad met me halfway, his eyes red. "This doesn't mean anything. He could be out trying to clear his head or his phone may be dead. We don't know."

"Dad, where's Barry?" I looked to Cisco. "He was here last night. He couldn't sleep. Where could he have gone?"

"I kicked him out this morning." My dad said.

Worry set in. "What? Why?"

He sighed. "I didn't give him a key so he could come over here in the middle of the night and have sleepovers with you, Iris."

"Oh my God, we didn't do anything."

"Cisco," My dad turned to him. "We shouldn't worry. We can't file a report until after twenty-four hours anyway."

Cisco gave me a look. "He's going to be okay."

I rushed up the stairs, grabbed my phone and dialed the number.

"It's Barry, leave a message or just text me. You know what to do." His voicemail said.

"Hey, Bear. It's me. I know it's probably nothing, but I thought I'd check on you anyway. Cisco and my dad are really worried about you, so just give us a call back. Hope you're okay."

Day Four.

"Um, I don't know what's going on. I don't know if you're okay or what, but I'm worried...so just let us know what's going on." I sat on my bed with Caitlin beside me. "I'll just be at home if you want to come by. Okay, bye." I hung up.

Caitlin patted my shoulder. "I'm sure he's okay."

"No, he's not," I muttered.

"We don't know anything for sure."

Week Three

I closed my locker. The normal cacophony of laughter and depression went on as planned. Barry had been gone for three weeks. That was three weeks of worry, three weeks of sleepless nights, three weeks of hope all bottled up inside. We didn't have any answers. All we had were horrible theories that we couldn't put to rest.

At least I had Cisco. We held each other together.

I joined him at his locker. "Hey,"

He shuffled his books out. "Hey,"

"You look a little rough, Cisco."

He sighed. "I can't sleep." He slammed his locker shut. "I can't do anything. Not until we find out if he's okay."

We started down the hall.

"I'm going to find out what's going on." He muttered. "There's been sightings in Starling City of The Flash the last few days. I don't know if they're real, but that's a place to start."

My brow rose. "Why would you look for The Flash?" He has been absent for a bit, but I'd seen the updates people were sending me via my blog about him being in Starling City.

He shrugged. "Maybe he could help."

I nodded. "Maybe."

The bell rung for us to head to class.

"I'll stop by Jitters tonight. I told Ronnie I'd tutor him, I could use the coffee."

I gave a small smile. "I'll hook you up."

"Iris, can you grab some filters from the back?" Caitlin asked me.

I nodded and made my way back to the back room. My phone vibrated in my pocket. A new Flash sighting back in Central City. Was he back?

Knowing it was a bad idea I went to my pictures and found the ones Barry took when he hijacked my phone the day I refused to make him our double chocolate brownies. Simply for the fact that I would've eaten them all if I had. He made goofy faces into the camera a grin on his face as he took a picture of us I knew nothing about. A sad grin overtook my face. Those green eyes stared back at me and I prayed that I would get the chance to see them again. Wiping my eyes, I grabbed two bags of filters before I headed back out.

Cisco and Ronnie were talking to Caitlin. Rather Cisco was standing there with familiar lost eyes while Ronnie leaned forward on the counter to chat with Caitlin.

I neared the counter, giving Cisco a friendly grin.

He seemed to liven up a bit when saw me. "Thanks."

I nodded as I started to make his favorite.

"I'm going to Starling City tomorrow."

I met his gaze. "Do you really think The Flash will help us? I tried contacting him through my blog and hasn't worked. I guess he was just busy."

"You want to come along?"

"No," I whispered angrily. "Barry's alive and scared somewhere. How is the Flash going to help us find him?"

He smirked. "You never know."

With a roll of my eyes, I nodded before finishing the rest of my drinks. I looked over to see Caitlin giggling at something Ronnie said.

"Let me try and reach out to The Flash again before we drive all the way over there, okay?"

He had a skeptical gleam in his brown eyes. "If it'll make you feel better."

I went to my bag and pulled out my tablet. Within a minute, it was posted.

"Done."

Work dragged on endlessly like usual, like everything lately. I definitely didn't want to be one of those girls that completely shut down because of a guy, and I wasn't. I went through the motions, got everything done, but my heart wasn't in it. I was too worried about Barry. I didn't want to lose faith in The Flash. He had to be a busy guy, running around and helping people. I didn't know him personally, so I couldn't attest that he was a flake, but if he didn't respond to this post that's how I'd feel.

I asked Caitlin if I could lock up. She knew about my blog, about my faith in The Flash, so she didn't mind me using Jitters as an incognito meetup.

Jitters were clear of people, everything was quiet and oddly eerie. I hunched over my special coffee, not knowing if I was an idiot for waiting an hour to have The Flash not show up. The answer was yes, I was an idiot. With a sigh, I rose from the chair and gathered my things.

My hair whooshed behind me as I felt a heavy breeze. My eyes slowly rose to look in front of me. "You came."

He nodded. "Sorry, I was late. I had things come up."

For a moment, I just stared at him because I hadn't felt that crackle in the air since I last saw Barry. With a sour chuckle, I shook the thought from my head. I missed Barry and seeing him in places I wanted him to be wouldn't help me any.

"I didn't think you were going to come." My eyes locked on the table.

He took a step forward. "I'm here now. What did you want to talk about?"

Now that he was here I didn't know if I could ask him to do this. I didn't really know him, but I guessed he'd look into it if it meant saving a life.

"My friend's been missing for a long time. I don't know where he is." I moved closer to him with hopeful eyes. "I don't expect you to say yes, but I was hoping you could maybe look for him." I bit my bottom lip to keep from crying, but the tears came anyway. "It's just he's very special to me and I don't know if he's alive or dead. If he was alive he'd reach out, right?"

He neared me, his head down. "You think I can find him?"

I let out a shallow breath. "I don't know. I just need some answers, so I can move on with my life."

His head snapped up, his face blurry. "Your friend, is he holding you back?"

My hands wiped at my face as I shook my head. "No and yes." I felt a little weight rise from my shoulders just talking about it. "There's this guy that I used to have a huge crush on and he asked me out and I had an okay time with him, but it doesn't feel right. When I'm with him it feels like I'm..."

"Cheating?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, which is really stupid." I gave a shy smile. "So, can you help me?"

He hesitated long enough that I headed for the door. "Wait," He grabbed my arm.

I stilled at the contact. Sure, he's touched me a few times before, but somehow this felt more personal. It felt like Barry, but I knew that was my mind over reaching again.

"I'll help you, Iris."

I turned back to peep up at him, his face vibrating. "Thank you..." I didn't know what to call him, so I just said, "Flash, I know you're busy between Starling and Central City."

"You keeping tabs on me?"

I grinned. "You read my blog, of course, I do."

"I'll always have time for you."

Cheeky are we?

"I bet you say that to all the girls." I teased.

He stepped forward so I had to strain my neck to look up at him. "What other girls?"

My mouth opened as I contemplated what to say. I could feel my face turning red. I shouldn't for one second believe that I was the only girl he saved multiple times and had a sort of relationship with, but I wanted to. There was a sense of trust that made its way into my chest when I was around him, which I supposed came from the fact he saved my life a few times. He was a superhero after all.

He flashed away.

BARRY'S POV:

Going to see Iris as The Flash was both reckless and irresponsible. Not only did I break Oliver's rules of training, but I promised her I'd help find her friend. How the hell was I going to do that?

Making sure I changed out my suit and stashed it in my backpack I rode on my motorcycle towards the private house Oliver paid for to keep me safe. The guard scanned my ID badge and opened the gate.

There was sure to be hell to pay once I got inside. And hopefully, some hot chocolate. With any luck, Oliver would be gone and I'd have the place to myself. Walking inside I heard voices. Great. With a deep breath, I rounded the corner into the living room where Oliver stood with his arms crossed and a stern look that always seemed to be on his face. Felicity acknowledged me with a wave of her fingers and an amused smirk on her face. Seeing the two of them together was always freaky. A goth and a preppy playboy. And they couldn't be anymore perfect for each other.

"I told you he was okay." She told Oliver.

I nodded. "I'm okay."

Anger flared in his eyes. "Sit."

With a groan, I parked on the coat. "Before you say anything, I-"

He gave me a look that said shut up or you'll regret it, so I shut up. "Have you lost your mind? Did you think I wouldn't notice if you were gone, that you went to see Iris?"

I didn't know if I was supposed to talk or not, so I just gave my best-wounded look. One that worked on Felicity like a charm.

"This isn't a game, Barry. I didn't bring you here so you could run back home whenever you wanted. I need here mentally, physically, and emotionally. Distractions like Iris will only get you caught."

"Come on, no one saw me there."

"Actually," Felicity held her phone up. A picture of me with my back to the door in jitters appeared on her screen.

My eyes closed as I prayed no one posted that anywhere. "I have to make sure she's okay."

"You're obviously nowhere near ready to go back to Central City. You're training will be extended."

"But-"

"You told me you'd do anything to keep them safe." He gave me a stern look before leaving.

Fuck me.

Felicity came to sit beside me. She shoved her black hair behind her studded ear.

"Look, I know Oliver can be tough. He's-"

"He's not tough on you." I countered.

She gave an apologetic grin. "That's because we have a different working relationship. He bailed me out of juvie. I'm lucky to be where I am right now."

Yeah yeah. The billionaire takes pity on the delinquent. I've heard it a million times.

"Oliver actually likes you," I told her.

Her face flush like I knew it would. "We're strictly professional."

I chuckled. "That's what I meant."

"Oh." She bit down on her black painted nails. "He cares about you, otherwise he wouldn't be doing this. He wouldn't push you if he didn't care, Barry."

I made a face.

"So was it worth it? Seeing Iris again?" She tried to fight a grin, but couldn't stop it.

A grin took over my face. "So worth it." I looked into her blue eyes. "I swear for a second she knew it was me and I wanted to tell her, but..." My smile faltered.

"You can't."

My head hit the back of the couch in frustration. "Why does it feel like I'm never going to be me again?"

She propped her arm on the couch as she gazed at me through her dark makeup. "Because you won't. I don't think I'll ever fully know what Oliver went through on that island, but I know enough to assure you that what he's teaching you will stick with you. It'll make you better at being The Flash. Sad, but true."

I turned my head to look at her. "I told Iris I would help her find me."

Her brow rose. "You're an idiot."

I laughed. "Hey, I can't resist that face." I saddened. "She thinks I'm dead. She thinks The Flash could help. I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."

She sighed then pursed her lips. "You could always just ignore her."

"No, I can't do that. She has faith in The Flash, Felicity. I'm worried that's the only thing she has faith in at the moment. I can't not help her."

She shrugged. "I can't help you on this one. You're going to have to tell Oliver. He'll know what to do." She rose and patted my shoulder. "I'll order takeout."

I sighed once again as I stayed on the couch.

IRIS'S POV:

I told Cisco about my meeting with The Flash, which he seemed a little ticked about, but he wouldn't tell me why. It's been two weeks and we still hadn't heard back anything. In a desperate attempt to draw either Barry or The Flash out, I put my name on my blog with no word yet. So we were at a loss. The only thing we could think of was go to Starling City and ask Arrow for help. How we'd find him, I didn't know, but that was all we had at the moment.

On my way out of the grocery store, a tall beefy man stepped in front of me.

"Hey, Iris."

My brow creased as I tried to identify the guy. "Tony?"

He smirked. "Yeah, how you doing?"

I headed for my car. "Uh, Tony, I really don't have time to chat. I was just heading down to the station to see my dad...and my boyfriend." I guess you could call Eddie that. We hung out. He bought me food, asked if I was okay. Then he started kissing me and I didn't push him away because I could use the distraction.

"That's cool. I just wanted to talk to you for a sec."

I sighed. "Okay, what about?"

"The Flash, I read your blog."

Warning bells went off in my head as my eyes searched around. "I don't know any more than you probably do."

"Then why do you seem jumpy?" He demanded, his rough strong hand grabbed my arm as he pulled me to him. My heart hammered in my chest.

The bags in my hands fell to the ground and I yanked away from him and ran for my car.

I was pulled back by my hair. I cried out in pain. "I don't know anything, Tony."

He lowered his face to mine as his free hand held onto my hip. "I've always liked you, Iris. Which is why I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you don't give me what I want."

I struggled against him, but it felt like his grip was made of steel. Quite literally. "You're one of them, aren't you?" I couldn't mask the tiny bit of excitement from my voice.

People were stopping to stare at us in the parking lot.

"You tell your boyfriend I'm looking for him and that he was born to take a beating."

"You saw him?"

He threw me to the ground. "Just do it." He ran off.

The pavement cut my hands a little. A few people came to help me up. Their questions going over my head as I searched around for Barry's childhood bully. A part of me was sort of glad he wasn't here. Although, Barry was athletic and cocky, he wasn't on Tony's level. The man was literally made of steel. I knew Tony wanted me write about him, so that's what I'd do. Hopefully, that'll get me answers faster. But I wasn't a fool and my hope was dying out as month two of Barry being gone extended.

A/N: Hope yall liked it. Once I get a few of these relationships more developed I'll make sure the chapters are longer :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story I can't say enough how much I appreciate it. I'll be feeling down and I'll check my stats and see that I have a new review and it makes me happy :)


	11. And If My Heart Should Somehow Stop

James Vincent McMorrow - And If My Heart Should Somehow Stop

IRIS' POV:

There was a knock on my door that took my attention away from my the blank laptop screen I'd been staring at for the past hour. My dad stood in my door.

"Hey, sweetie. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"If it's about Tony then I'm fine. You're not worried about him, are you?"

He shook his head. "No, the Arrow dropped him off at the precinct. I guess him and The Flash are buddies." His eyes sad. "You have some guardian angels looking out for you." He lingered for a moment too long without saying anything.

"What? Have you heard some news?" My heart rate picked up.

He came to sit on my desk. "You're just distant."

I rose from my desk chair. "Dad, I lost a childhood friend. We have no idea where he is if he's okay. What do you want me to say?"

"That you're okay, that you're not mad at me." He rubbed his hands together, his eyes low. "You blame me for Barry being missing."

With a sigh, I folded my arms across my chest. "I do not." I cocked my head to the side.

He met my eyes. "I can practically feel you pulling away from me every time I'm around."

I scoffed. "That's not true."

He gave me a hard look. "Yes, it is. I can tell when my own daughter is going through something and you haven't-"

My anger rose and I knew it was misplaced, but I couldn't hold it back. "I'm not going through anything! I'm just trying to get everything done and continue living my life without any guilt or doubt, and I don't need you telling me there's a problem when there isn't a problem, okay?!"

It went without saying that there were things my dad obviously didn't know, like my dating slash using Eddie for a distraction, his soon to be partner. Or how I thought it was my fault Barry went missing.

He nodded as he backed out of my room.

"Dad," I started to apologize.

He kept walking.

Fucking fantastic.

Frustrated, I left my AP homework and put on some running shoes. I wasn't very fast, but somehow in the big pile of crap that you could call my life running seemed to give me a few minutes of mindless peace. Well, that and I needed to stay in shape because holidays were around the corner and I needed to lose a few pounds before I gain any...if that makes sense.

With my headphones in my ears, I bumped No Apologies by Jussie Smollett and Yazz as loud as I could. The cold air seeped into my body as my lungs pumped in and out. I needed this. There was every doubt in my mind that I would always be tied to Barry Allen and even if I never found out what happened to him I would always care about him, love him. That wouldn't change.

My feet got confused and I stumbled to the cold hard ground with the realization that I was in love with a guy that could be dead at this very moment. My heart ached in my chest, thumped in heightened heartache. The only thing that change was that my tears had dried up in the last months and I couldn't cry anymore so I just picked myself up and ran harder, not knowing where my feet were taking me until I was panting outside of the Park MMA gym.

I took in the closed building, the smell of sweat and hard work. The strength that seemed to pull me in when I saw myself in the glass reflection of the door. All broken and transparent. The longer I stared at myself the angrier I become. My fists tightened at my side. How ridiculous would I look in there?

Needing to flee, I started on the way back to my house. The nights approached sooner in the winter. Everything around me was surrounded in darkness and it made me uneasy.

The house was empty when I got back. My dad was probably at work. The shower had my name on it. I stepped in and roughly scrubbed my body in the hot water beating down on me. For a while I just stood under the stream, zoned out, and then my hands pushed my curling hair back on my head. The curls that Barry had been encouraging me to bring back.

A moment later, my hands reached to turn off the shower. I went through the motions like I usually did, not thinking about it, just doing until I stood in front of my foggy bathroom mirror. My hand swiped across the mirror, revealing a curly haired Iris West. I was too tired to focus on how I just referred to myself in the third person. So I just stared at my reflection long and hard. Normally, my straightened hair was to my boobs, but in it's natural state it was just past my shoulders, my curls kinky.

If I was going to do this I needed to act fast before shrinkage ruined my opportunity. I separated my hair into two halves and pinned one side up. I quickly found my hair products underneath the sink. All I really needed was water, oil, leave in conditioner, and some grease so I won't get flakey. Nobody wants that. After applying all and rubbing it into my hair well enough, I began two strand twisting my hair into medium sized twists. It had been awhile, but I still had it. I mean, I did this every month to make sure my hair was healthy. Now I was just planning on wearing my curls rather than straightening them away.

My good ole satin cap that was tucked away in my bottom dresser drawer came in handy. I had satin pillow cases so there really wasn't a need to wear on a regular basis. I stuffed my hair underneath the satin cap and washed my hands. Looking at myself in the mirror I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. A small something Barry gave to me. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have had the courage to do this, sadly. Well, you never know. I do know, however, he made me feel beautiful with natural hair and that meant a lot to me.

Running had taken a lot out of me, energy I didn't usually have, so I made my way to bed. Only I crossed the yard and made my way up the stairs and into Barry's bedroom. My heart ached every time I entered. Seeing the blue walls, the blue and green plaid sheets, his soccer posters, and his memories made me give a hopeful grin. I went to his closet, my fingers ran over each item. Would he ever wear any of this again?

I grabbed a random shirt and threw it on like every night so far and made my way to his bed. When I first started doing this I thought it was really creepy of me and I worried that I needed counseling more than ever...I probably still do, but I'd come to terms with it. This was me keeping Barry close to me. When Henry first found me in here he didn't know what to do. Barry being gone had scared him to no end. He lost a bunch of weight. He had to take time off of work. I think the guilt ate at him more than anything. He knew he wasn't there for his son the way he should've been all these years. The truth was I didn't know why Barry ran away if that's what happened. I wanted to believe that's what happened because the alternative was too sickening to think about. I think we all shared the guilt equally about not knowing if we pushed him away somehow. If something we did made him vulnerable to an attack. The not knowing was the worst. It would always be the worst. How do you move on from something like that if you could never get any closer? The police couldn't give us any answers, which was incredibly odd and convenient.

My phone buzzed on the bed. Cisco's face popped up.

I answered, "Hey,"

"You think we'll ever see him again?"

Not at all thrown off by his abruptness, I mulled it over carefully. I was tired of hoping so, but it was the only thing I had left. "Yes." And no.

I wanted to tell him about the MMA gym, Linda's family's gym, but it was stuck in my throat. Maybe I was embarrassed to even voice that I had thought I could handle a place like that. But I wanted to handle a place like that.

Although all we really did was hold each other up I was grateful he was there for me. I wasn't sure how I'd cope without him. I'd like to think I would've been fine, but the truth is Cisco helped me through a lot.

"You know, Barry would've wanted you to be happy with Eddie, if that's what you wanted."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. Same to you."

"Oh, nothing-nothing's going on with me and Linda." He stammered adorably.

I gave a small smile. "Night Cisco." I hung up.

CAITLIN'S POV:

"Hey," A familiar voice called.

I looked up from the cleaning the tables to see Ronnie strutting my way. With an eyeroll I gave him a mock smile. "Don't you have another local coffee house barista to bother?"

He grinned. "No," He leaned forward. "I like this in particular."

"How nice of you to grace Jitters with your presence every day, but I think you should back off the caffeine, Ronnie."

"And not be able to see my favorite fake lesbian barista everyday?"

I chuckled. "I'm not a fake lesbian." I went back to wiping tables.

"Oh, yeah. Cuz I could tell from across the room we might be into each other, you're move." He smirked.

My hand patted him on the shoulder as I made a disappointed face. "That was terrible. What cheesy movie did you get that from?"

"The Duff, which just so happens to be a lovely teen movie that my little sister dragged me to." He followed me. "So what time do you get off? I'm bored."

I gave him a look. "How's your sister?"

His blue eyes saddened. "She's okay. Her treatments are tiring, but it seems to be working." He gave a tight grin. "Thanks."

I nodded. "You should be spending time with her."

His jaw hardened. "Just because my sister is going through chemo doesn't meant I can't have a life outside of her."

I knew this was a sore subject with him. Annie was a beautiful eleven year old who had the misfortune of being diagnosed with breast cancer. Ronnie felt like he was smothering her already and his parents kind of dumped her on him and his older brother. He could've been in college by now, but he missed a lot of school to take care of her. A lot of people looked at him and judged what was on the outside. I couldn't imagine the pressure he was carrying around.

"I get off at seven," I offered a grin.

He nodded before heading up to the second story to study.

With a huff, I returned to cleaning.

BARRY'S POV:

"Ahh!" I screamed as I was rammed into a cement wall by a guy three times my size, his switchblade sunk into my stomach. The wind knocked out of me, I fell to the ground. The pain registered, but I knew how to use it and push forward. I flashed behind him and threw him a few feet away, throwing the weapon a good enough distance away.

Jeffers grunted as I uppercut him. He stumbled back dazed. "You think you can take me? You're just a boy." He smirked.

Needing to prove myself I stowed away my speed, like I'd done in training. Size didn't matter if you didn't know how to fight and this guy was just some middle man for the real threat.

The impact of my kick to his stomach knocked the wind out of him as he fell to the ground. I punched, my knuckles bruised and bloodied. He shoved me off of him as he shakily stood on his feet.

"Not bad." He charged me.

My arms blocked his hit to the stomach and face. It was easy to anticipate your opponent's next move when you tuned into their body. Listen to their breathing patterns, look at their footing, the flinch of their hands. You just had to know how to look for those signs. He didn't. So when I dragged I punched him in the throat he didn't see it coming and his hands clutched at his neck. I dropped down to ram my elbow into his stomach before I kicked his thigh hard enough to break the bone. He cried out, clutching his leg in his hands..

"Tell me what I want to know,"

He glared up at me. "Go to hell you freak."

Annoyed, I kicked his feet from under him, my foot on his throat. "Who's coming to pick up the shipment tomorrow?" I let up the pressure on his neck.

"Go fuck yourself." His hands grabbed my leg and tried to push it off.

I let him so I could kick him in the side.

"Ahh!"

I squatted to his level. "Listen, I don't want to hurt you, but my partner, he likes to hear bones crack and necks snap. He's creepy that way. So if you don't tell me what I want to know by the time he gets here his'll be the last face you see."

He gave an amused chuckle. "You think I'm afraid of the Arrow? If I talk my whole family will be dead, you don't mess around with Patel."

"If you talk now you have time to get your family away or you could die tonight. You're choice."

"It's not that simple." He begged. "Please, I won't tell anyone you were here."

"What about me?"

I looked up to see Oliver coming our way.

Jeffers tried to crawl away, but Oliver stomped on his freshly broken leg, making him cry out in agony.

"Andrew Jeffers tell me when the shipment of Vertigo is coming in."

"I can't, man. He'll kill my family." He begged, fear in his eyes.

Oliver and I shared a look, only I wanted Oliver to spare him, but I knew this guy wasn't going to make it either way. Warren Patel was a dangerous drug lord who Oliver had went toe to toe with a few times, but his endless supply of middle men was what kept him out of jail. Patel was careful. Almost as careful as Oliver.

Oliver drew his arm back, his arrow ready. "One last chance."

He recoiled. "Please, I have a family. A little girl. They need me." He held his hands up protectively.

"Then talk!"

An uneasy pit sat in my stomach.

"Okay, okay!" Jeffers cried. "The shipment is coming at eleven tomorrow night, about five crates. The ship is going to be crawling with Patel's men. There's even a few officers in his pocket that'll be down here. That enough?"

Oliver drew his bow and released the arrow so fast the kill has to be painless. I stared at Anthony Jeffers with an arrow sticking through his head as blood pooled around his body. Oliver started down the street.

There was nothing I could do to help people like Jeffers. They were already criminals, already enjoying getting their hands dirty. They liked being bad. In between Starling and Central city I got a good mix of metahumans and regular criminals. I was grateful that Oliver took me under his wing, grateful that he was teaching me how to be safer, how to be more strategic and precise. My family was safe. Yeah, they didn't know where I was, but at least they were alive.

The part that I hated the most was watching people die. That's not why I became The Flash. It kept me up at night. If they only knew what I'd become they'd never look at me the same. Cisco and Joe wouldn't look at me the same. Iris would be disgusted.

Oliver waited for me a few feet away, the switchblade in his hand. "You need to dress that when you get home."

My hand went to my bloodied stomach. Like I was planning on bleeding out before the night was over and letting infection set it. I took the knife in my hand and stayed silent. He knew this was my least favorite part. I knew that honestly, Oliver was probably doing more good than harm by killing these guys. Less crime and all. But still, they were humans and taking their lives was something he could do without a blink of an eye. I wasn't there yet. I would never be there. I was worried that he waiting for me to be there in order to finish my training.

"Good job, tonight."

I nodded.


	12. No Air

Sorry for the short chapter but I'm working eleven hour shifts every day, I don't have a lot of down time to write long chapters.

The song for this chapter is Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks - No Air lol

"Eddie," I whispered into my phone. My heart hammered in my chest. "When you get this message get our ass over here! I'm at the school. Tony is here. So far I think I'm the only one here. My phone's about to die. Tell my dad. He's not answering his phone." The phone cut off.

Shit.

Closing my eyes, I tried to calm myself. How could I stay calm when I saw him roaming the halls? When he saw me he smirked and had a dangerous glint in his eyes. I was enough to make me drop my bag and books and hightail it up the stairs. In hindsight, I should've ran for the doors, but there weren't any in reach and I needed to put distance between us.

Sitting here in this dark and eerie classroom against the wall all night is not an option, so I had to come up with a plan. If I remembered correctly, Tony could turn into steel, which was still pretty cool, but in his case it didn't' help me any.

"Come on, Iris. I just wanted to talk!" Tony yelled through the halls. The sound of metal cracking filled me with dread.

Fuck it.

My legs picked me up and I scrambled for the door. I peeped around the corner, no one was there. My high heeled boots gave away my location as I ran through the darkened halls. I stopped quickly and ducked into a corner to take them off. I pointed them into the opposite direction that I was about to run in, but I smacked into a hard chest that had to belong to Tony.

He grinned down at me. "Where you going?"

I tried to run for it, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Not so fast. I need you for a bit before I let you leave." He pulled me along with him. "Tell your pal The Flash to meet us here. Tonight."

"Sure, I have him on speed dial."

His hand closed down on my arm tighter. "Just do it."

I sighed. "My phone died."

"Then we'll get on a computer and you login to your blog and leave him another message. Tell him you're in trouble at the school."

He lead me to the section floor and shoved me into the library, and pointed to a computer.

Nervously I typed away and made it into my blog with Tony breathing down my back. Disgust rose in me as he neared my neck and sniffed.

"You smell like flowers and vanilla, Iris." His mouth moved against my skin.

I stilled, but my hands kept typing. A big part of me wanted to backhand him even though I knew he could easily kill me if he wanted.

"There, it's done. Can I go now? I did what you asked."

He snatched me up, his hand on my ass. "No, I like having you around, Iris. Besides I've always wanted to do this." He shoved me against a bookcase, causing a few books to fall around us, his body pressed against mine. He lowered his mouth to mine, both his arms trapped on either side of me.

I struggled to get away but his hands grabbed mine and pinned them above my head. Panic set in. He wasn't going to rape me was he?! This couldn't be my first time! It had to be special...it had to be with...My heart stopped once I realized I was holding onto my virginity once Barry came back. If he came back. How stupid and pathetic could I be?

My hands were still captured so I wrapped one leg around Tony's waist and he wrapped the other around on his own. If I got into this I wouldn't feel like he violated me. I could be in charge of this. So when he let go of my hands they went to his hair as I bit on his bottom lip and he chuckled.

"I knew you were attracted to me, too." He grinned.

"I thought you liked the chase." I playfully pushed him off of me.

He landed against the bookshelf behind us with a light thud and a smirk. I ran my hands up and down the hard planes of his chest as our eyes met. My other hand stealthily ran over a book beside his thigh before I grit my teeth and swung out, knocking it into his head. He turned around, his head turned into steel.

I dropped the book and backed down the aisle, then turned on my feet, but he yanked me back.

"You thought it would be that easy?" His mouth by my ear.

I stomped on his foot, shoved him away, but grabbed my foot and I fell to the carpet. All the air left me on impact. Quickly, I turned around and kicked him with as much force as I could, striking him in the face then the arm.

He pulled me down further. "You're not going anywhere." His voice menacing.

Despite wanting to be strong enough and fight for myself, I screamed, "Help!" I kneed him as hard as I could in his balls.

He cried out.

I scrambled from under him, he grabbed my ankle, but I shook it off. I raced through the halls, spotting a door. My heart raced as I neared it only to find it chained up. When had Tony had the time to do this? How long had he been waiting to do this? There was no way he chained every single door in this place closed. If Tony wanted The Flash here then he'd leave an entrance open. I mean, The Flash wasn't super strong, was he?

"Iris!" Tony bellowed through the halls.

Fear jolted through me as I rushed away, hoping the next door would be open. Why did I pick tonight to stay late at school to study for exams? This is why I disliked this school intensely.

What would he do when he found me? I was bait. He didn't seem to be the be the forgiving type.

"I just want to talk!"

Yeah fucking right!

I ran past the next door, it was chained also. I knew now was not the time to worry about this, but was The Flash even coming? He let me down when I asked him to help me find out what happened to Barry and now when my life was actually in danger he couldn't be bothered? I get it. He's a superhero, he's busy. I guess, I just wanted to believe we had a connection, which was stupid because I didn't know him from Adam.

Stopping to catch my breath, I glanced around to make sure the coast was clear. My hair fanned in front of my face, ruffled by a light breeze. Goosebumps rose on my skin. My eyes slowly rose to see the front doors of the school open. Could it really be that easy?

Only one way to find out. I headed for the door, hope carried me forward. So close

A large body stepped in front of me just as I made it to the opening. My breath caught in my throat as Tony glared down at me, his body covered in iron from head to toe. I backed away, angry that I had to run away.

"Let me go. Obviously, I'm not as important to The Flash as you thought."

He smirked. "You don't know who he is, do you?"

I shrugged. "Of course, not."

He stalked forward. "He seems to like you. Then again, I can't blame him." His eyes raked over my body.

"So what's your plan? Just keep me here in hopes he'll show? Then what? Fight to the death? What does that prove, Tony?"

"That some people are born to take a beating."

A time when we were all younger flashed into my mind. Tony shoved Barry into a locker and said what he always said, "Looks like you were born to take a beating, Allen."

Hatred filled me. I wanted to get Tony back all this time for beating up Barry like he did and now he was in front of me and I couldn't do anything about it. I was scared. I was weak. I wasn't a fighter and I hated to admit that. But here I was. Literally backed into a corner.

My back hit the wall of lockers as Tony stopped a few feet in front of me. I could've run in the other direction, but I wasn't. Granted, he'd catch me easily. I still didn't want to run away anymore.

"Not everything's solved with violence, Tony. You know some people actually used their abilities for good. Why couldn't you?"

His brow rose. "You mean your boyfriend? He's just fast, Iris. Nothing special about him."

I pushed off the locker. "Then why do you want to beat him so badly? Why go through this much effort to go against him?"

"What's so great about him anyway?" The veins in his neck popping out. "He thinks he's invincible, but he's not. He's not a God. He's not me!" He pushed me back so I banged against the lockers. "If he's so great where is he now? Huh?"

His questions played in my head. If I were being honest, I thought the same things a thousand times in the last few months. Where was he when I really needed him? I guess, I wasn't important enough. We didn't have a connection after all. No reason to think I was special.

My hair blew in my face as Tony and I both realized who was behind us. A smile came to my lips when I took him in. He was here and I couldn't deny how safe I felt knowing I didn't have to go through this alone.

Tony turned around with angry eyes. "Glad you could make it." He punched his hands together and turned around before I could register what he was doing.

The Flash had me down the hall in his arms a moment before Tony's fist smashed into the locker where my head used to be. My heart hammered in my chest as he groaned in frustration.

My eyes went to The Flash, my body frozen from his touch. Familiar and exciting. I wanted to see his eyes, but he was vibrating it.

"You're late. Again.." I joked.

He stood us up. "You're going to run and I'm going to fight that," He stared at Tony gunning our way.

"What? You can't fight him." I insisted.

He flashed us near the door with Tony out of sight. "You need to leave, Iris." He begged.

My eyes stung as I recognized the voice, even behind the vibrations. I took in his build. Not possible.

"Leave. Please."

I shook my head. This is just a dream. I had to be dreaming. There was no way. No. I'm not even going to say it. I was under a lot of stress and trauma. I needed to see a doctor like now because I couldn't even entertain the thoughts I were having.

He misunderstood my head shaking. "Iris, listen to me. Tony's dangerous. You could get hurt. Call your dad."

"I can't,"

"Iris!"

"No, I mean my phone died. My bag and everything is in there." I pointed in the general direction. I think I was going to be sick. Even as I hoped I was wrong I couldn't stop pictured Barry's face on The Flash's body.

I backed away from him and started forward, not hearing a word he was saying. I had to get out of here. Wake up. Please, wake up. This nightmare was going on my top ten. Wake up. My legs took me towards the road. I didn't even know where I was going, I just had to leave this place.

Leaving me coat inside the school, I shivered. My arms folded across my chest. Cars passed me every few minutes. It was late in the winter time, no one was really out this late. It had to be about ten going on ten thirty if not later.

Caitlyn's. I should go to Caitlyn's. No, she's out of town for this week. Her family demanded she come back for this year's Thanksgiving. Caitlyn's was out. Cisco? I stopped in my tracks. What if he knew? What if he knew this whole time and I was stupid enough to feel sorry for him? I was stupid enough go to Barry's house for the last month and sleep in his bed, or imagine what it would be like when he came back. I knew I was jumping the gun a little. There was no tangible proof that The Flash was Barry, but what else was that feeling I had around him that only happened in Barry's presence? What was that dangerous thing he was apart of that he couldn't tell me about? I just assumed whatever he was involved in took over and he was with them.

Anger spiked through me. I reached out to The Flash to help me find Barry. I trusted him! I talked to Barry daily about how amazing The Flash was. And not once did he ever think to tell me! I shook my head. I didn't want to believe this. There had to be another explanation because I didn't want to accept that my friends were lying to me. Did my dad know?

This was too much for one night. I wanted to rewind to just before I had this thought and not have it. I didn't want to handle this, I didn't know how to handle this.

I did the only thing I'd grown accustomed to. I ran. The cold pinched my cheeks as it seeped into my body. Who needed directions when you were running away from something? I let my body go on autopilot while I tried to drown out the noise in my head.

After a while I started to feel better, but I couldn't wash the theories from my brain. I needed to prove myself wrong. I didn't know how to do that. Either get The Flash to reveal his identity, which I didn't think was likely, or prove that Barry was either dead or safe somewhere. All options seemed tricky and I wasn't likely to get any of them done tonight.

My hair swooshed, the telltale sign that The Flash was near. He stood in front of me, his face blurry.

"Are you okay?"

Was I okay? Hell no, I was angry!

"Thanks for saving me again," I hated that I had to say it. "But I really don't want to talk to you."

He stepped forward. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. You pick." I headed past him, but he stopped in front of me. "You want answers? Fine. I asked you to help me find my friend a month ago. And I'm not so sure that he ever needed finding."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help you. I had a lot of work to do." He lowered his head.

"Some things are more important than others. I totally understand."

He blocked me from leaving again. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head.

"Can I take you home?"

"I'd rather you not. I can find my own way back home."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. Not everyone is worth saving."

"Barry was."

If I was wrong about this whole thing then I would commit the rest of my life to seeing a therapist, but right now it felt like I was right. It felt like Barry in front of me, but not Barry at the same time.

Without a word he dropped me off at my house. I stood there on my porch, alone and confused out of my mind. Half my mind thought I was over reaching again while the other wanted to connect dots. How did I know what was real and what wasn't?

I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Not expecting to see a group of people waiting in the living room. My heart stopped in my chest as my brain scrambled the previous thoughts taking over my mind. I stepped forward, not believing my eyes.

He grinned. "Hey, Flower."

Way beyond confused.

"Barry?"


	13. Hold Me Down

The song for this chapter is Mansionair- Hold Me Down

Yall should check out MTV's new tv show Scream. It was surprisingly good!

IRIS' POV:

Breath. Just breath.

I perched on the toilet in my bathroom and gazed out the open window, my legs pulled to my chest.

There was a knock on my door. Barry stuck his head in.

"Room for one more?"

I stayed silent.

"You know this wasn't what I expected from the welcome wagon when I returned."

He came to sit on the edge of the sink. That unmistakable charge filled the air. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I should've reached out to you, but I couldn't."

My arms tightened around my legs. I didn't want to hear his lies.

With a sigh he came to sit on the floor in front of the toilet. "I need you to talk to me, Flower."

"Don't," My eyes drifted down to his. "Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that."

"I'm sorry I left. I didn't have a choice."

You always have a choice, at least that's what my dad said.

I imagined this so many times, fantasizing about how perfectly it would go, but having Barry here right now was far less than perfect. This Flash theory was still fresh in my head and while I thought it was Barry talking to me after I left the school I didn't want to sound like a crazy person if I was completely wrong. I had enough to deal with. So I stored this particular accusation and met his hazel eyes.

"You said you would be my friend, you told me that you wouldn't screw it up this time."

I rose from the seat and went to my room.

"I know and I really tried to keep that promise," He followed. "I did everything I could to keep it."

"You lied to me! "

I couldn't help but notice how he filled out even more over his missing months. It was not the time to appreciate how big his arms had gotten or how strong his jaw was. But it was Barry so it was always the wrong time.

"How did you think this would go?" I demanded. "You would come back and everything would okay? Well, it isn't!"

He looked at me with heavy eyes.

If you asked me earlier how I would've reacted if Barry came back I would've said I would be overjoyed, content. I would've been curious, but nonetheless happy. I knew I was suspicious and frustrated now because of that stupid theory. He was right here. I could ask him and then everything would change either way. Barry could be The Flash and I could be right or I could go to therapy and be wrong. I wasn't ready for either of those.

He neared me. "I know you're upset. I would be, too. There's just-"

"Where were you?" I interrupted.

He sighed. "I can't tell you."

Of course, not.

"Why did you leave?"

His green eyes drifted away. "I can't tell you that, either."

With a single nod I turned away from him. "So you can't tell me anything about your disappearance?"

He was silent for a while before saying, "No. I'm sorry." He stepped closer, his body heat warming my back up.

"Then you know how this must look. How am I supposed to trust you when all you do is lie and hurt me?" I turned to him, not expecting him to be so close. My eyes met his. "I thought you were dead, Barry. I mourned you, I prayed that anything would show up. I even asked The Flash to find you. Cisco and I were half zombies because of you. Do you get that?"

He nodded. "I know it couldn't have been easy for either of you. Cisco has forgiven me. Can you?"

Could I? Sure. Definitely. I wanted to forgive him right now so the four of us could laugh and watch a movie or something fun. But I couldn't do that because I had an inkling of self respect and even though I really wanted to shower Barry in hugs and meaningful kisses I couldn't. Not when he couldn't let me in his life the way I let him into mine. Again, I couldn't help but think about how I really didn't know him as well as I thought.

"I need some time, Barry. How do I know you're not going to leave me again? How could I get close to you again?"

"I don't know. You did it once. Can you do it again?" He leaned down, his hand cupped my face. "I thought about you everyday, Iris. I know I hurt you, but please, don't shut me out right now."

Let him in, my heart said. Don't back down, my head challenged.

He leaned down, his mouth close to mine. "Please," His breath tickled my mouth. "Forgive me, Flower."

All I had to do was lean in a bit more and I could be kissing Barry.

"Iris,"

I pulled away to find Eddie in the doorway. Deep worry in his eyes. He took in Barry and me. I went to him.

"I don't understand."

"Barry's back," I gave a weak smile.

"No, I got that. I'm talking about earlier. You left me a message that nearly scared me out of my mind." He took me in, making sure I was okay.

"Oh, I'm fine, I promise. The Flash took care of it."

He handed me my bag. "I looked everywhere." He pulled me to his chest. "I'm glad you're okay."

With a sigh, I relaxed. Eddie had been my distraction throughout it all. I should've let him go, but I was too weak to do it.

"I'm fine," I squeezed his shoulder. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

He leaned down, his lips overtaking mine. I could never get lost in our kisses or anything we really did. I just wanted something to pass the time and I was almost positive Eddie knew that.

When I pulled away he gave me a look. Did he really think I wanted to kiss him in front of Barry? I turned around to face him. Way back when, Barry said he wanted me to be happy and judging by the way he was looking at me now I was going to say that didn't apply to Eddie.

"I should go." He said, giving me a look that made me feel unfairly guilty. He headed for the door. "Goodnight."

I reached out and grabbed his arm. "I'm glad that you're okay."

His green eyes fell on me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Iris."

I nodded. "Okay."


	14. Let It All Go

Thanks for the continued supports everyone!  
The song for this chapter is Rhodes + Birdy - Let It All Go

BARRY'S POV:

One day ago

 _Oliver extended his hand for me to shake, but I pulled him in for a hug. Four months of training. Of torture. Of Oliver breaking me down mentally, physically, and emotionally. I thought it would never. I thought I would end up a monster. I thought I'd end up like Oliver, though I'd never tell him that. Everytime I fell I got back up and it made me better at my job. This wasn't a hobby, that's how I'd been treating it. It was a 9 to 5. It was my life and now I knew what tools to use._

 _I was confident in what I learned, but I wasn't naive. I needed a team. That meant whether I liked it or not I'd have to involve other people. Meaning Cisco, Joe, and quite possibly Dr. Wells. Unfortunately, I still believed leaving Iris in the dark was best. She already wanted to run head first into crime scenes and danger just to get a five second glance at The Flash. I imagined telling her would be a burden lifted from my shoulders, but I'd rather wear that burden than bury her in the ground because she was worried about me and showed up at the wrong time and place._

 _I moved over to Felicity and gave her a big hug. She kept me sane through most of this. She was there when I had to whine about Iris and she did it with a smile. Her and Oliver were a match made in heaven and it was clear he thought something was going on with us in the start. I didn't much blame him, we grew close. Now that I was heading back to Central City I wouldn't see her face everyday. I'd still pop every so often as to not raise suspicion about The Flash returning to Central City at the same time as Barry Allen._

" _I'll miss you, nerd." She grinned._

 _I cracked a smile. "I'll miss you more."_

 _Oliver patted me on the shoulder. "We should get going."_

 _I nodded._

IRIS' POV:

Eddie showing up to the house last night raised some brows, but thankfully my dad gave me some space. My dad had been training Eddie a few days a week. Being that Eddie was still in classes my dad got a new partner the other week. My dad would've waited, I think he liked working alone, but Captain Singh wanted him to have backup.

Needless to say, my dad was very suspicious of Eddie showing up. The story I told was that I called Eddie because my dad wasn't answering, which was true. Eddie had been around the house with my dad, but neither of us told him we already knew each other. Or that we were dating. Thankfully, Barry didn't my dad about the kiss. However, I did tell my dad about Tony and how The Flash saved me again. He told me that The Flash delivered Tony to the precinct. So I was excused from school for the day. It was only one day, the only day I missed throughout this whole Barry being missing event.

It was noon and I couldn't sit in this room any longer. My muscles had grown so accustomed to running that I needed to do it. I hated to admit it, but I was a runner. Damn. Well, there are worse things. I could be doing crack as a scapegoat.

I threw on my highlighter green sports bra and leggings. Where did I last put my nikes?! I couldn't run without my nikes! Oh, they were downstairs in the dryer. I grabbed my hoodie and soon I was out the door. My earbuds in place I started jammin to the Radioactive In The Dark mashup. It gave me so much life when I ran. Usually, when I ran it was calming, but I had so much under the surface right now that I was running angry. I turned up the volume as I pushed forward. The cold made me feel awake, there were so many times I felt like I was sleepwalking, but this woke me up.

Now I found myself back at The Park's MMA gym. Without a second thought I entered. The ripe smell of sweat and ass hit me in the face. Well.

I walked around for a bit, not knowing what to expect. This place was a lot bigger than I initially thought. There were rows of mats, a boxing ring, a weights section, and a track. My eyes caught a tough-looking girl sparring with a muscular guy. I froze when I pictured Tony coming at me last night. Everything that I hated about myself flashed in my mind.

"Iris?"

I turned to see Linda walking my way. I offered a smile. "Hey,"

She pulled me into a hug. "We haven't hung out in a while."

I gave her a look. "I mean, you seem to spend all your time with Cisco."

Her face reddened as she looked to the side. "We're just friends."

"You sure?" I teased as I playfully shoved her shoulder.

She rolled her eyes and gave a laugh. "I plead the fifth."

"Have you talked to Cisco today?"

She nodded. "Yeah, why?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering." I didn't know Linda as well as Cisco did so I didn't want to be the one to tell her that Barry back, but that was huge information. Still, I felt like Barry himself should be the one to tell her. "You should talk to him."

Her brow creased. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine." I wiped the sweat from my forehead. "I just think you need to talk to him."

She looked around then at the front desk. "I have to finish my shift then I guess I'll swing by his house. We have to study anyway."

"That's what they're calling it these days." I joked.

She smirked. "Funny, West. You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you're getting a little life back into you. Almost like B..." She cut herself off.

Maybe I was hesitant to tell her Barry was back because I didn't really believe it myself. What if last was a dream? Then I'd be responsible for crushing her with that bombshell.

"Sorry," She offered a half smile. "You know I still believe he's okay. I can feel it. We were together for a year, but I've known him a long time."

I think I should've been jealous of Linda and Barry's relationship, whatever it was, but I couldn't bring myself to be. Not when we came together in his disappearance.

"So are you interested in becoming a member?" She asked.

I stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, I don't think so. I'm not on their level."

Her eyes scanned my body. "I don't know about that. Besides I see you running all the time. You should give it a try. I think it'll be good for you. You get to pay to punch people, how awesome is that?"

"I didn't bring any money, I don't even know why I'm here."

She pulled me along to the two people that just finished sparring. "Spencer, this is Iris. She is interesting in MMA. Show her the ropes." She left us to go handle something at the front desk.

I stilled, not at all comfortable. I met their eyes and I about peed on myself. They were scary, like body builder scary. Not really, but they looked like professional athletes.

The girl extended her fist. "Spencer,"

I pounded her fist. "Iris." I said trying to conjure up my inner Octavia Blake.

They grinned at me.

"Toby," The guy said.

They stared at me.

"So you want to be apart of this?" Spencer asked.

My head nodded on its own. "No."

Her brow rose. "You nodded your head yes, but said no. Which is it?"

"I should go."

Toby stepped in front of me with his hands raised in caution. "You came here for a reason, right?"

I nodded.

"Then stay." He glanced at Spencer. "We're not personal trainers or anything, but we'd be happy to get you on your feet."

Unease sat in my stomach. I couldn't do this.

I shook my head. "I don't think I'm cut out for it. I have a lot on my plate already. Thanks anyway." I started for the door.

Last night replayed in my mind. _You're a victim_ , my mind insisted. My eyes scanned the entire place, taking in each and every warrior. They all had to start somewhere didn't they? But still. Was I up for this? This was hard work, this was commitment. I looked back at Spencer. She was strong, intimidating. When I looked at her I wanted to call her ma'am even though she couldn't have been more than a few years older than me. I glanced at Linda at the desk talking to a potential member. Maybe she was right. Maybe this was what I needed.

With a turn of my feet, I went back to Spencer and Toby.

"Okay," I stately shyly. "I'm willing to let you teach me your ways."

Toby put his arm around me as he lead us forward. "You have much to learn young grasshopper."

I cracked a grin.

What did I just get myself into?

CISCO'S POV:

Four months ago

 _I was about to get all up in this pizza and movie when I heard a knock on the basement door. My heart picked up. Barry had been gone a week and we hadn't heard anything from him. No trace at all. Dr. Wells and I've been trying to crack the code, but there were no breadcrumbs to follow._

 _I rose from the couch and opened the door, not expecting to see Linda Park on the other end. I visibly sagged as our eyes met.. "What do you want?"_

 _She tucked her shiny dark brown hair behind her ear. "Have you heard anything?" She keep us a few feet apart._

" _Nope." I leaned against the doorframe as I crossed my arms._

 _Her eyes narrowed. "Well, if you do can you call me or something?"_

 _I shrugged. "Probably not."_

 _She made a face. "You know it wasn't easy for me to come here, Cisco."_

 _My jaw hardened. "Who's fault is that?"_

 _Her gaze broke mine. "It was a mistake, one that I regret everyday."_

 _Sure._

" _Too bad I don't believe you, Linda."_

 _Her brown eyes met mine, shiny and sad. "I didn't mean for it to affect your friendship with Barry, I promise." She retucked the hair that fell into her face. "I just had a moment of weakness. You can understand that."_

 _Yeah, I could understand weakness, temptation. I'd been at that line before myself. But what she did was unforgivable. At least in my eyes._

" _Barry's my best friend, Linda. I don't know what kind of set up you two had going on, but that's never okay."_

" _I feel bad enough as it is, you don't have to rub it in."_

 _I took in her flushed cheeks and red lips._

" _You should get going."_

 _She huffed. "Can you cut me a little slack? It's not like Barry was ever in love with me, not like he was with Iris."_

 _She had a point, but if Barry ever found out I didn't think he'd forgive me for not telling him first._

" _You should've thought of that before you went around kissing people."_

 _She closed the distance between us. "I was not the only one participating in that kiss and you know it."_

 _My forehead creased. "You think that makes it okay? He's my bestfriend and I kept it from him for your sake."_

" _Why did you?"_

 _I shrugged. "Maybe because we actually used to be friends."_

" _We're still friends." She gave me a look._

 _My head shook. "No, we're not."_

" _For Barry's sake, we still are." She backed away until she was in the porchlight. The light bounced off her hair. She looked around herself, then back up at me. "I should go."_

 _I nodded._

 _She gave me a tight smile before turning down the side of my house._

" _Cisco?"_

" _What?" I demanded. I could see the hope die out in her eyes as she looked away. "Nevermind. I'll try again later."_

 _My brow rose. Why would she want to come back here after I was still being a dick to her?_

" _Whatever."_

 _I stepped inside and closed the door behind me so I could resume the rest of my night._

BARRY'S POV:

Everything with my dad and coming back to Starling City was a mess today. Too many questions, too many emotions. I didn't think my dad would be this torn up about it, but was all but broken when I found him.

We'd spent the day talking and trying to rejuvenate our relationship. We both agreed his job was put before our family .

I opened the door to my back porch to find Iris curled up in a ball and covered in blankets on the couch. She was knocked out cold, her long curly hair braided behind her back. That was one positive thing to come from my absence. She finally felt beautiful in her natural state. I quickly grabbed two more comforters and a few pillows from my room and crawled up behind her. She was an extremely heavy sleeper so I doubted she'd wake up and clock me, but with Iris you never know. But I'd take my chances.

When I got settled, I pulled her to me, wrapping the thick comforters around us. Maybe I should've just brought her inside and laid her on the couch, but this seemed better somehow. We could die from pneumonia together, that's kind of romantic. I doubt she was thinking about me and romance in the same sentence lately. I knew I broken her trust in me, in our friendship. My hands were tied. There were still things she couldn't know or be apart of and I know that it would drive a wedge between us. So I had to make it up to her in other areas.

She turned around and snuggled into my chest. My eyes widened but she never opened her eyes,. so I assumed she was still asleep. I gave a wry grin. She was mine in so many ways but yet not mine at all. I wanted to claim her, wanted to be able to walk down the street and have every guy know she was with me. I wanted her to look at me how she used to. Right now, that seemed a far cry away from being possible.

All I had right now was this moment and I wasn't letting her go. Literally. Her body heat was giving me life. Slowly, but surely, my eyes drifted shut as I dozed into comfortable silence.


	15. Blush

The song for this chapter is Wolf Alice - Blush

IRIS' POV:

"Iris,"

My eyes peeled open then closed again. A grin found my lips. I was comfy. Warm. I burrowed my head in the hard surface.

Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. The sound of a heartbeat lulled me into sleep.

"Iris," The faint voice asked again.

With a sigh I looked up to find Barry's hazel eyes fluttering open. My first thought was what the hell? My second thought that almost became my first thought was damn boy looks good in the mornings. A little scruff came in overnight and I couldn't stop staring at it.

His brow rose as he smirked at me. "Morning, Flower."

Oh, right. I was mad at him. Where the hell was I?

"Iris!"

I jumped back to see Eddie standing in Barry's backyard, his arms folded across his chest. He wore a pissed off scowl. Well, shit. I disentangled from Barry only to fall on the ground.

"I'm okay." I muttered.

"Eddie?" I could hear my dad call from nearby.

"Yeah," Eddie called. "She's back here."

The glass sliding door opened, Henry rushed out, his eyes frantic until he found Barry on the couch.

"There you are." He relaxed.

My dad busted around the corner with angry eyes.

"Iris, what the hell were you thinking? I couldn't find you." He looked at Barry.

My face flushed as I realized what this must've looked like. My eyes went to Barry's for an explanation. I had no part in this. If he was going down he wasn't taking me with him. My ass was already walking a fine line with my dad, he knew I was hiding things from him. Namely, Eddie.

I rose with a sigh. "We must've lost track of time."

"What she said." Barry rose. He looked down at me, his eyes scanned my face.

That damn stubble only added to his hotness. This was a problem.

"So you both just fell asleep outside in the cold?" My dad asked, drawing my attention away from Barry's jaw.

We nodded.

"You could've gotten sick." Eddie argued.

I cut my eye at him. If one more person got worried about me getting sick I would roundhouse kick someone's ass into the nearest tree. And yes, I can do that now.

"I appreciate your concern, Eddie, but I'm not a little girl anymore and I'm not a kid. So could everyone just back off? We weren't doing anything." My eyes went to my dad's.

Would he believe me?

"Alright, go to your room."

My eyes widened. "Are you grounding me?" In front of Barry, Henry, and Eddie.

"You need some time to think about your actions, young lady."

My mouth opened in shock. Really?

"You, too." Henry patted Barry's shoulder.

It was all I could do not to laugh at Barry's amused expression at Henry's sudden hands on parenting. He held my gaze before walking inside.

Henry apologized again before following him inside.

Now I was alone with my dad and Eddie. Not good. Before they could start up with anymore bullshit I stalked to my room. I needed time to think about my actions? I didn't fucking do anything! I went there last night because I was so used to sleeping in Barry's bed, near his things, and now that he was back and I was mad at him that wasn't really a possibility. And shit like this happens when we fall asleep next to each other and people thinking we're screwing. So I went lay on the couch. We had a few moments on it before he disappeared.

After I got out the shower I pulled my hair into a topnot and dressed for relaxation. I was definitely sore from yesterday's MMA workout. Spencer and Toby hit practically every muscle in my body and sleeping on that old couch didn't help. I tried not to think about how well I slept last night, all because Barry was there. I walked out to find my dad sitting on my bed.

I huffed. "What? You want to embarrass me some more?"

"I wasn't trying to embarrass you, honey. I think you know how that looked."

I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper in the closet. "You know me, dad. And you know Barry. Do you really think we would disrespect you and Henry by having sex in the backyard?"

He rose from my bed. "Look, I know you're friends and you both have changed since you were last close so that could put a strain on the relationship."

I made a face. "Dad?"

He looked uncomfortable. "It's clear as day that you two are attracted to each other. And I trust you and Barry, but can you see how it's hard for me to leave you two alone?"

My face flushed. "We're not going to jump each other's bones while you're gone, if that's what you're worried about. Besides, I'm with-" I shut my mouth.

He gave me an expectant look. "Go ahead and finish that sentence."

I balled my mouth up and flopped face down on my bed with a scream into the bed.

"Bye, Iris."

Upset, I stayed like that for a while and let my mind wonder.

"What are you doing?" Barry asked.

I groaned into the mattress. "Go away." It came out muffled.

"Huh?"

I rolled over so my eyes were to the ceiling. I huffed. "I said go away."

He came to lay beside me. "I'm bored. My dad's never grounded me before."

Mine either. It's not like I ever did anything that required grounding.

"Sorry, I got you in trouble with Joe."

My eyes rolled. "I covered for you. This is the the thanks I get."

He turned his head towards me. "What were you doing there anyway?"

"I don't know."

He burned holes in the side of my face, so I had no choice but to look at him. God, he had the scruff.

"My dad told me you stayed the night in my room a lot." His eyes sad.

I almost felt bad for being mad at him.

I bit my bottom lip nervously and I realized I hadn't done that like at all since Barry was gone. His eyes went to my mouth and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Pathetic, I know." I turned away from him.

"Not pathetic."

His strong rough hand turned my face to his. My breath caught in my throat. How was it that he came back even more attractive? Those hazel eyes that stared at me like they could see into my soul. It wasn't fair. My body reacted to him when my mind didn't want to.

"I'm sorry, I left you. I didn't want to, but I had to. To keep you safe."

"From what?"

His eyes left mine.

I pulled away. He wasn't going to tell me anything.

"You know, I stuck by you for the longest, even when you push me away. And now when I need you to trust me you can't even do that? I don't get you, Barry. Why do you even want to be friends with me? You never tell me anything about you." I pushed off the bed.

He followed. "You honestly think I don't want to let you in, Iris? I can't and it's killing me to have you think that I don't trust you. But I'd rather have you hate me then the alternative."

"That's not your choice to make. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

"So that's why you you slept in my bed every night and wore my clothes? Because you can handle it?"

My eyes widened. He hadn't spoken to me like, not since before we started talking again.

"You're trying to hurt me to push me away? Is that it?"

His jaw hardened as his eyes held a glint of something moody. "I'm just stating the facts. Like how you're using Eddie as a placeholder, a distraction."

Frustration had simmered over the side of the pan and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"And why do you think that is?" I threw my hands up. "I thought I lost you again, Barry. We didn't hear from you for months. There was nothing to go on to find you. I thought you were dead." My eyes clouded. Nice to see I could produce tears again in Barry's presence. "This whole time you were okay and you couldn't be bothered to pick up a phone and let me know you were okay! So yeah, I did what I had to so I could keep going."

He nodded, but his eyes said something else. "So now that I'm back are you going to dump Eddie? Throw him away like he didn't mean anything."

"You don't get to judge me, Barry. Besides, why do you care? One minute you want to be with him then the next you're flirting with me in front of him. What do you want?"

He closed the distance between us. "I want you to be with me. Not him."

My heart picked up.

His eyes held mine. "But I can't."

My jaw hardened as I exhaled. I didn't want to do this, but I refused to be treated this way. "You and your mixed signals need to leave me alone."

"I hope you're happy with Eddie." He stormed out.

It was all I could do not to fall over. I paced the room, geared up. My hands kept fidgeting. I needed to hit something. Spencer and Toby flashed into my mind. I grabbed my gear and ran for the gym.

I showed my membership card that Linda hooked me up with yesterday and headed for the power house that was Spencer and Toby with a purpose.

They took me in with questioning brows.

"Are we going to start or what?"

"Alright," Toby answered. He pulled me towards the punching bag. "Let it out." He held the bag in place, his thick muscles flexed.

I looked to Spencer.

"Go ahead."

I pulled on the gloves and hesitantly threw the first punch. It felt good so I kept at it. Screw Barry. He put me through hell and back. I was in love with a complete idiot and it was my own fault. I let him treat me that way. Not anymore. I punched harder. A few grunts and groans left me as I took it out on the bag until I was panting and hanging onto the bag.

"You feel better?" Toby asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

Spencer gloved up and neared me. I backed up with wide eyes. She laughed. "Relax, I'm going to show you what you're doing wrong."

"Oh." I relaxed and held my hands how she had hers.

"Swing from the hips and shoulders. It engages your abs. Watch my feet. I'm moving them with my hips. You don't want to crack an ankle over bad footing."

She punched the bag a few times, demonstrating for me perfectly.

I couldn't help but notice how Toby looked at her with pride and yearning.

"Now you try," Spencer instructed.

I tried to mimic her but I could tell I hadn't quite got the hang of it. I gave a disencouraged face.

"Try again." She grinned. "We all had to start somewhere."

After I finished up at the gym I called Cisco and asked if he wanted to hang out. He said he was busy, but didn't really give me many details, which meant he was with Linda. Again. So I called Caitlin and asked if she wanted to go get some food. I was starving and I could really use some Mongolian Barbeque. She agreed.

I didn't expect to see Ronnie sitting in the passenger seat when she picked me up. Who was I kidding? They were just as bad as Cisco and Linda. Only there really wasn't anything romantic going on there. After all, Caitlin had a girlfriend. She was very nice. Although every time she looked at me she made me nervous. Not going to lie she was kind of hot. Thankfully, she was absent tonight.

"Hurry up, West. My ass is hungry." Ronnie grinned through the open window as I descended the drive way.

Yeah, he was hot, too.

I climbed into the back with a small laugh. "I'm famished."

"What are we eating?" He asked.

"Mongolian Barbeque." Caitlin and I said simultaneously.

Ronnie looked between us as Caitlin started driving. "That was kind of hot."

My hand smacked the back of his head.

"Hey," He grinned. "You gotta buy me dinner first before you smack me around."

Caitlin gave him a look. "Shut up and turn around."

"Hey, now. You're a lezzy, I need to draw my attention elsewhere." He joked.

She rolled her eyes.

I laughed at them. There was an attraction there, I could tell, but I honestly think they became almost like siblings with the bickering and teasing. Granted, at first when Ronnie didn't know Caitlin was a lesbian he wanted to sleep with her. Her rejection lead to a very questionable friendship. Maybe if I became a lesbian I could get over Barry and our friendship would be so much better. I wouldn't have to overthink everything.

Speaking of, Eddie texted me: We need to talk about what happened earlier. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Lunch tomorrow? I wrote back

He responded quickly. Sure, he wrote.

I stowed my phone.

After dinner we walked around downtown. My black peacoat was life right now.

Caitlin had hooked her arm around mine as she grinned at me sadly.

"Why are you looking at me like I just dropped my ice cream?"

We should get ice cream.

"I heard Barry's back."

My eyes narrowed. "Who told you?" I glared at Ronnie.

He held his hands up in surrender.

"Cisco actually stopped by earlier. He thought I knew. So why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged. "I don't know." I muttered. "Things aren't the same as before. He's different. I'm different." I sighed. "He's keeping everything bottled up, like he's protecting me from something."

She nodded. "Maybe he is."

I made a face. "You don't get to take his side. You're my friend."

"I'm just saying, things aren't always black and white. Maybe he's doing the best he can."

I took that into account. What if he was? Still, that didn't give him the right to be a world class jackass to me. If his goal was to push me away it worked. I didn't want to see him or talk to him. I just wanted some space.

"Have you two ever, you know?" Ronnie asked with genuine intrigue.

Caitlin and I looked at each other.

"Well, there was that one time in the break room." She teased.

He stopped walking. "Really?"

"No," We said together.

"You do not play with a guy's emotions like that."

I laughed at his antics. He really was a nice guy, a little rough around the edges and a lot horny, but nice nonetheless.

My hair flew into my face with a great wind as I saw a red blur fly by.

"Woah," Caitlin steadied us.

"Guess who's back." Ronnie added.

My phone beeped. I ignored the calls from my dad and went to my news alert. Some disturbance not too far from here.

"Come on," I tugged them along.

"What? We're running towards danger?" Caitlin demanded.

"Aren't black people the first to go in scary movies? Are you sure you want to test that?" Ronnie asked.

I gave him a look before running in the direction The Flash went.

"This doesn't feel like a good idea."

"Would you just come on?" I yelled from behind me.

"I didn't sign up for this." Ronnie complained.


	16. Arsonist's Lullaby

The song for this chapter is Hozier - Arsonist's Lullaby

BARRY'S POV:

"Alright," My dad sighed as he paced the kitchen. "I'm only doing this because I need to." He nervously met my eyes. "What were you thinking? Joe's pretty lenient with you and Iris, but that was kind of pushing it, Barry. I mean, I get it. You love her. You always have."

My face scrunched up while I leaned on the counter. "How do you know?"

He gave me a look. "Despite popular belief, I pay attention to my son. You've never looked at anyone the way you looked at Iris. Not Linda. Not Becky Cooper. No one."

My face reddened as I ran my hands through my hair. "Is it that obvious?"

He grinned. "You're my son. You don't think I know how you love her?"

I sighed. "I'm too late. She's with someone else."

His brow rose as he came closer, his hand on my shoulder. "I know love. I know infatuation. And I know distraction. Iris wasn't sleeping in Eddie's bed every night, curled up in his clothes."

My heart stopped as I stared at him. "She did that?"

He nodded.

My head hung with a sigh. Fuck. Guilt ebbed in me. I hated how I had to treat Iris. I wanted her to know everything single thing about me. I wanted her to accept me at my worst and my best. But it wasn't in the cards to let that happen. Iris was too important of a person, of a friend in my life. I wanted her to stay that way. But I didn't know how to protect her and let her be close at the same time. I'm sure she could handle herself fine, but I wasn't risking it. I know what I had to do.

Who knows maybe she'll be happier without me. All I seemed to do all our lives was cause her suffering and heartache.

I looked to my dad. "So, am I really grounded?"

He chuckled. "No, just make Joe think I dropped the hammer down on you. Okay?" He patted my shoulder before opening the fridge.

"Dad, did you think I ran away earlier? When you came outside you looked really scared."

He pulled out a pack of bacon and eggs. I hadn't seen him cook in like half my life. On holidays, we ordered takeout but he usually was always called in to work at the hospital. That's what happens when your dad is the head surgeon of the hospital.

He met my eyes. "I was terrified, Barry."

I didn't want to admit it, but my dad had lost a lot of weight. His eyes were eternally tired and puffy. I don't think he shaved in a month. He was pulling a Rick Grimes.

"I'm sorry I left. I needed to figure some things out. Things that would help the people around me in the long run and I know I went about it the wrong way, but it was good for me. I needed it."

He nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're back. But the next time you run away I don't know how I'll be able to handle it." His eyes got shiny. "I really missed you, slugger. I didn't realize how terrible a job I was doing until you didn't come back for four months. So thank you for opening up my eyes, Barry. I never wanted you to feel unloved or like I didn't care about you. I just threw myself into work. I figured if I couldn't save your mom then I had to save as many other people as possible. I didn't mean for our relationship to take the back burner. I'm sorry."

Tears ran down my face. This was the talk we needed to have ten years ago. He pulled me into a tight hug as I crumbled. It sucked not feeling like you mattered. I realized my dad and I were the same. When I got my speed I knew that it could be used to make a difference because I was tired of sleepwalking through life.

"I love you, son."

"I love you, too." I hugged him tighter.

After we disentangled we made a quick breakfast together, full of laughs and stories.

As I checked to see if Joe's car was gone I walked over to see iris. I dreaded what I had to do, but I didn't go through four months of hell for nothing. Everyone had to be kept safe.

IRIS' POV:

As we arrived to the scene all I could think was who let the dogs out? Everyone was fighting it was like Wrestlemania.

"What the hell is going on?" Ronnie asked as they caught up. He tucked Caitlin to his side protectively.

The Flash zoomed through the crowd, knocking down people.

"Why is he hurting people?" Caitlin looked to be as if I was The Flash expert. "I thought he was the good guy."

He is.

I looked closer. "They're all dressed the same. They must have organized this attack."

A guy swung out at Ronnie. Caitlin backed up and tripped to the ground. I started to help her up when one of the black dressed baddies flung himself at me.

My eyes widened.

His foot flashed out and kicked my side.

I clutched my side only to have him punch me in the face. I could taste blood in my mouth as my lip split open. He punched me in the head. My head throbbed.

I put my hands in the self-defense position and throwed a punch that had no power as it hit his shoulder. Fear spiked in me as I watched his arm move back, ready to knock me out.

Caitlin screamed in the background. I squeezed my eyes right, braced for the pain.

Then all of a sudden I was on a rooftop. That feeling that crackled in the air was ever present. I looked up to find The Flash in front of me.

"Stay here," He begged. "We need to talk," He flashed away.

As I contemplated leaving I sat on the ground. My eyes scanned the rooftop. I'd only been up here a few times, but I was sure this rooftop belonged to the CCPD. There was an airplane landing spot. I inched away from it.

I couldn't stop thinking about how I got my ass handed to me. The guy in the black didn't care that I was a girl. The world didn't care either. Toby and Spencer would be ashamed. They'd know how to hold their own in any situation. In fact, they could be helping people like The Flash was if they really wanted to. I'd seen them go head to head in demonstrations, they definitely had the chops.

My hand went to my busted lip. I spit out a wad of blood and saliva. I tried to stand, but my side ached. Disappointed, I sat there against the wall for who knows how long. Sirens rang in the distance. Echoes of the chaos reached my ears even from up here.

Caitlin and Ronnie! I had to go back. What if something happened to them and I could've helped.

I mustered up all the strength I had to stand. My head ached as a groan escaped me. I made my way to the door when I heard everything stop. I turned back around and headed for the front of the roof. Bodies dressed in black littered the ground around everyone. The cops were arresting the only one left standing. I didn't understand. I backed up from the sight. What happened to the rest? Were they dead? Did The Flash kill them only to leave one left alive to pay the price? No, he wasn't a killer. He was a hero. Right?

My hair ruffled in my face. I turned around. My heart jumped in my chest.

"What did you do?"

He stepped forward, his face hid in the shadows. "Danton Black. He was a metahuman. He had to be stopped."

I stepped back, my stomach uneasy. "A what? You killed all those people?"

"What?" He stood his ground. "No, the metahuman-"

"I don't know what that is."

He nodded. "He's like me. He could multiply himself. Those bodies down there, they're not real people. They're empty shells. The real Danton Black is in custody. I didn't kill anyone, Iris. I promise." He held his hands up cautiously.

I huffed. "How are they going to stop him from multiplying again and escaping?" I neared him. I made sure to listen carefully to his voice, for any signs of recognition.

"He's too weak right now. He'll need to recover for a few hours, maybe longer. In that time, the police will decide what to do with him." He circled me as I circled him. "What were you thinking? You could've really gotten hurt?"

My fists tightened at my sides. "I can handle myself." Even as I said it, I knew it wasn't exactly true. But soon enough it will be. "How'd you know I was there? There was literally hundreds of people in that crowd."

He tilted his head as if he was checking me out. "You'll always stand out, even in a crowd."

I stared at him, not expecting a flirty comment. But this was something more. I blushed. The suit was mesmerizing to look at it. The way he moved in it with such grace and confidence...it definitely reminded me of Barry. Still, I could be going completely crazy and The Flash could be some schmoe named Terrence or Billy.

"I guess, I should apologize. The other night, I was out of line. You don't owe me or anybody anything."

"You were worried about your friend. I can understand that."

I nodded. "He's back now."

"Why don't you sound happier about it? Aren't you glad he's okay?"

I tried to find his eyes, but he was too far away. "He's not him. Or he's not who I thought he was. Who I wanted him to be." I bit down on my lip and winced as the cut stung.

He flashed in front of me, his face vibrated. His gloved hand gingerly ran over my busted lip as he leaned down to inspect it.

My head throbbed as he moved it up. More importantly, I gasped at the contact. Totally embarrassing. All I could do was stare up at him, my mouth open a bit.

He leaned down, his face stopped moving so rapidly. It wasn't until his mouth was on mine and his hands grabbed my waist to pull me closer to him that I realized I was kissing The fucking Flash! Even with a busted lip he made it feel good. Small amounts of electricity zapped our mouths as they moved together. My hands went around his neck as he picked me up, my legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed us into the roof door with a thud. I could feel him harden against me. His hands slammed mine into the door, holding my wrists in place as he ground his hips into mine. His skillful lips moved to my neck as he sucked and kissed up and down the smooth plane. My skin felt alive where he touched.

I let out a moan. My eyes closed and I pictured Barry's face and Barry's hands on me. And Barry's you know what pushed against me. The pleasure intensified.

His lips trailed back up to mine, capturing them roughly. His tongue slipped into my mouth, controlling me. I had never been kissed like that. Honestly, Eddie couldn't kiss worth a damn.

My eyes flew open as I realized I was a cheater. I recoiled, not that I wanted to, but I had to. This wasn't right. For whoever was behind that mask, for Eddie, for me, or for Barry.

He pulled back and set me down when he realized I wasn't into it anymore.

"I'm sorry," My face flushed. "I have a boyfriend." A really good boyfriend who deserved more than what I was giving him.

I put some space between us. "I should go. My friend's are probably worried."

Worry set in. What if they weren't even alive.

I faced him. "Were any civilians killed?"

He looked down, as if any casualty was his fault. "A lot of people were hurt. A few were killed."

My hand flashed to my jeans pocket. I pulled out my phone only to realize I had a few missed calls from both Caitlin and Ronnie. I relaxed a little.

"I need to go." I headed for the door.

He grabbed me and the next thing I know we were zooming down the side of the building. Everything was in hyperspeed, I barely had time to process it. The wind in my face, excitement filled me. The funny thing was I wasn't even afraid of falling. He held me close to his chest, my hands wrapped around his neck as we raced to what I assumed was my house. He set me down on my porch all too quickly.

I grinned up at him, amazed at the rush I felt. The safeness. "That was amazing!"

He chuckled and it sounded nice, calming. "I'm glad you think so."

I blushed as I bit into my lip again. I gestured towards the door. "I should head inside, call my friends to make sure I'm okay."

He leaned against the banister. "Are you going to put this one your blog?"

My brow rose. "Do you want me to?" I half grinned.

"I'd rather you not. It's still dangerous..."

"But?" I had a feeling there was something he wanted to say.

"But if you do," He flashed in front of me, his face insanely close that I couldn't make out any details. "Don't kiss and tell. I wouldn't want your boyfriend to get jealous."

My lips pulled into a smile. "He definitely needs to be jealous."

Shit. I shouldn't have said that. Bad Iris.

He surprised me by kissing my cheek before disappearing.

Dumbfounded, I stumbled inside. In a daze, I brought my phone to my ear.

"Iris, where the hell are you?!" Caitlin demanded. "We've been looking everywhere for you! I can't promote you if you died!"

Wait.

"You were going to promote me?"

"That's not that point. Where are you? Are you okay? You were there one second then gone the next."

I sighed as a grin took over my face. "The Flash took me away."

"Come again?"

"What's she saying?" Ronnie asked from the background. "Is she okay?"

Appreciation filled my heart. I finally had people in my life that I could call friends and if not friends than acquaintances. People that cared about me and wanted to hang out with me. That was the one thing I wanted before I graduated high school and even though it was a byproduct of Barry being missing I couldn't be more grateful to have them.

"I put you on speakerphone, you better say something worry of being on speakerphone."

"I'm sorry, I worried you guys."

"That's all we get?" Ronnie asked, amused nonetheless. "Are you okay, Iris?"

I nodded even though they couldn't see it. "I'm a little banged up, but I'm alive. What about you guys?"

"I brought Cait to the hospital. She has a broken arm and bruised eye. You missed it. That was mad creepy. One second there were all fighting everybody and then they just dropped. The Flash took that guy out. The police have him now. Where are you, anyway?"

My eyes scanned the house, I made my way up the stairs. "I'm at home. I'm going to shower and then I'm coming to the hospital."

"No," Caitlin protested. "I'm fine. I'm just waiting in the ER. You better get some rest, young lady."

I grinned as I headed into the bathroom. "You think I'm scared by your tactics."

"You should be." Ronnie joked. "You should see the look she's giving me."

"In my defense, he just smacked my ass."

I couldn't help but laugh. They were something else. "Are you sure you don't want me to come?" I undressed.

"Very sure. We'll be fine here. Granted, we'll be here all day. I swear everyone in Central City was there because this place is packed."

I put my phone on speaker as I tied my hair up into a bun and put my shower cap on. My hand turned on the shower knob.

"Well, we're going to let you go. I'll keep you up to date even though you'll probably be asleep when we leave."

"Or just waking up." Ronnie added. "Bye, Iris."

I heard them bickering about something as the phone disconnected.

With a sigh I washed my body to the best of my ability. My side was really sore. I didn't know if my ribs were cracked again, but the pain was in the exact same spot as last time.

My mind was running a mile a minute. I can't believe I kissed The Flash, I cheated on Eddie. Tonight only proved to bring about a few revelations. I didn't need a relationship right now, even though kissing The Flash was amazing times ten, I needed to focus on me. Besides, Eddie and I both knew I was not even close to being all in this relationship. Getting my ass kicked by that Danton Black clone only went to show that I needed to be prepared to protect myself no matter what. I needed to push myself. I needed to be in beast mode like now, but I knew that would take some time.

I shut off the water and got dressed. I went through my closet and threw what I needed into the small overnight bag I had under my bed. I stowed my phone in my coat pocket after checking the time and headed over next door.

Barry opened the door just as I prepared to knock. Our eyes met in the darkness and I stilled. So did my heart.

He stared at me in shock. "What are you doing here?"

Damn. I forgot he had stubble now. Attraction level raised by like ten.

"I, uh, wanted to give you these back." I shoved the bag at him.

He grabbed it, his brow rose. He looked inside to find a few of his clothes. I couldn't quite read his expression, but I think it was safe to say it was a mixture of guilt and sadness. He looked back down at me.

"You should keep them."

Not the answer I was expecting.

I gave a wry grin. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Trust and believe I would wear them to bed every night. That wasn't going to help me do well on this Barry cleanse and faster. My eyes went to his mouth as I tried to figure out if those were the culprits from earlier. Damn those lips either way.

They moved to a smirk.

"Do you want to come inside?"

My eyes scanned him. I noticed his cheek was scratched. My hand touched his face only to be shocked at the contact.

He offered a weak smile. "Static shock."

I stepped forward. "Are you okay?"

He backed into the house. "I'm surprised you care."

That was like punch in the cunt. How dare he!

"Excuse me? I have done nothing but care about, Barry." I pulled his arm to turn him back around. "I may not be very happy with you right now, but I still care. That's not going away."

He stared at me for too long and it made me nervous.

"You can't look at me like that."

"I can't help it." He grinned.

My eyes slipped to the floor as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You're too late. I'm not in a position to be with anybody right now."

"Are you breaking up with Eddie?" He sounded a little too happy.

I gave him a look as I nodded. "You could be a little less enthusiastic about it." I huffed as my hands took down my hair to tie it in a braid.

He went to stand behind me, his body close to mine. He took my hair in his hands and I almost moaned at how good it felt. It all felt too Fifty Shades of Grey for me, which wasn't a bad thing, but in this point and time it was the worst.

"You were right." I closed my eyes as I relaxed.

I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. Damn, I was getting some action tonight. I almost grinned as I thought, I'm a slut.

"About what?" His mouth seemed to be hovered over my neck.

I could just lean back and I would be against him. As if on instinct, I leaned my neck a little the side only to have him come closer.

No! Barry cleanse. Boy cleanse. Me cleanse.

I turned around quickly and put some distance between us. "It's not fair to Eddie when I'm not totally committed to him."

He smirked. "Because you're committed to me?"

"Don't get cocky, Allen. I'm committed to me. That means no boys."

His smirk fell. "What? Since when?"

I rolled my eyes. "Since you came home an even bigger dick."

He stepped closer, his green eyes gazing into mine, knowing they made me weak in the knees. "You like me either way, Flower."

A smile broke through my demeanor. "Don't flirt with me. I'm still mad at you."

His eyes focused on my lips before he went in for the kill.

My hand stopped in front of his face. "Really, love Jones?"

He laughed against my hand before he pulled away.

I headed for the door. "Goodnight, Barry."

He surprised me by pulling me back to him. His arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him. When I relaxed I accepted the warmth. My eyes drifted shut. His heart thumped against my ear like this morning. There was something about hearing a person's heartbeat that made you care about them even more. Damn Barry and his heart beat. This wasn't helping the Barry cleanse at all.

"I'm lucky to have you in my life, Iris." He muttered, his chin rested on the top of my head.

I squeezed him back. "Yeah, you are."

He laughed deeply.

BARRY'S POV:

I thought long and hard about this. If last night proved anything, I needed more help.

The elevator doors opened. I stepped out. The place was amazing and I used to dream about coming here before the explosion.

"Mr. Allen," Dr. Wells greeted.

I looked down at him. "Dr. Wells, I've-"

Cisco walked from somewhere and saw me. His eyes hopeful.

"I wanted to see if the offer was still open?" I looked back to Dr. Wells. "I tried it my way. I need a team." Like Oliver and Felicity.

He grinned, his hand held out. "Let's get to work."

Yall, I was writing the kiss scene and I thought how funny would it be if Iris tries to kiss The Flash and his face is vibrating and his head knocks her out lmfao! Anyone else thought about that?

A/N: Someone asked how to know when I update this fic and the simple answer is make a fanfiction or archive of our own account - because I upload on both now under the same username - and follow the story. That's more for the guest commenters because I'm assuming you don't have accounts already. Thanks for the support and comments yall! Every one makes me happy and encourages me to keep going. I have a habit of writing fics and stopping after awhile. I'm hoping to get this one finished and finish the others at some point.


	17. Use Somebody

The song for this chapter is Kings of Leon - Use Somebody

IRIS' POV:

I woke up with an immediate pain in my side. I curled up in my bed, the sheets tangled around my legs. My phone rang from under my pillow. Eddie's face popped up on the screen. Great.

"Hello," I answered.

"Iris, are you okay?"

"Yeah, never better." I lied. "What's up?"

He sighed. "Well, you were supposed to meet me for lunch and it's going on one in the afternoon."

My eyes looked at the time on my phone. Holy crap. I must've needed the rest. Last night was pretty eventful. The kiss popped into my mind.

"Crap. I'll meet you somewhere."

"If it's easier, I could come meet you?"

My lips pursed at the idea. "Actually, that'll be great."

"I'll bring your favorite."

"Thanks. See you in a bit."

I hung up and jumped in the shower and got dressed just in time to hear the doorbell ring.

"Hey," I opened the door.

He held a big greasy bag. "I thought we could eat on the porch." A week grin on his face.

This wasn't odd, but both really liked the cold.

"Sure." I grabbed my coat from the stand by the door.

We sat on the bench.

"I just-" We both started after an awkward silence.

He smiled. "You go first."

I shook my head. "No, you go."

He sighed. He handed me a slice of pepperoni and bacon pizza, well done.

"I've grown to care about you a lot in the two months we've been dating and I know you care about me in some capacity, but-"

"Eddie-"

"Please, let me finish."

I nodded.

"But I don't think I can do this anymore, Iris. The way you used to look at me before we started dating...that's what made me see you. You haven't looked at me that way since Barry came back into your life. He's all you see."

"You're breaking up with me because of the way I look at Barry?"

His forehead creased. "No. I'm ending this because you don't know what you want, Iris. And that's okay. But I'm not going to be you boyfriend on a cautionary basis. You don't love me, not like you love Barry. I know it. Joe knows it. You know it. And Barry knows it."

Tears sprung to my eyes, surprising me. I'd come to appreciate Eddie a lot. Yeah, he was right. I had been using him, but we still bonded in those two months. "You must think the worst of me." My head hung.

He took my hand in his and squeezed. "I don't. You are an amazingly strong, independent woman. I guess you'd have to be with Joe as a father."

I snorted a laugh. I looked at him. "Saying sorry has lost its use, but I am. I should've broken this off a long time ago, Eddie. I just..."

"Wanted someone to keep you company. I get it. I've done it myself, not proud of it, but I get it. It's not easy losing someone you care about. That's why I tried to hold onto us as long as I could, but seeing you two yesterday was the wake-up call that I needed."

"Maybe we could still be friends?" I offered a weak smile.

He nodded. "Being that I'm your dad's partner, I don't think we have much of a choice." He teased.

I laughed. "Don't sound too excited about it."

He took a bite of his pizza. "Of course, I want to be friends. I'm just not so sure Barry wants us to be friends. You are going to start seeing him, aren't you? Isn't that what you wanted to tell me?"

Honestly, I should've told him about the kiss, but there really was no need now. It would do more harm than good.

"You were right about me not knowing what I want. Being that I'm officially single, I plan to stay that way. At least, until I get my shit together."

He raised a hand in the air and bowed his head. "Amen, sister."

The thing I liked most about Eddie was that he was really goofy when he wanted to make you laugh. We'd spend hours laughing at stupid things over the months. It wasn't just us making out and passing the time. I was glad he and I could be friends. He may not be as important as Barry, but he was still apart of my life.

He held his hand out to shake.

I pulled him in for a hug. "You're going to find someone great. I know it."

"I already have. You."

I pulled away. "Huh?"

He gave me a weird look. "What?"

"Didn't you say something?"

He shook his head. "No. Not a thing."

My lips pursed. "Okay." I started back on the pizza. "Thanks for being so understanding."

He gave a tight smile.

When we finished I walked him to his car.

"I think my dad knows about us." I leaned down on his window, forgetting about my side. I refrained from crying out.

"You might be right. Either way, he invited me to your Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night." He started his car.

"Because that won't be awkward."

He laughed. "I won't make it awkward if you don't."

"You've got yourself a deal."

My spidey senses tingled. I looked around to find Barry's truck at the end of the street headed our way. He pulled into his parking lot. When he got out he looked our way before leaning against his truck with his arms folded across his chest as he waited for me.

"I guess that's my queue to leave."

I gave Eddie a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek. He turned to capture my mouth and it felt all sorts of wrong. I pulled away.

"Um, goodbye kiss." He flushed. "Sorry." He pulled off.

I stared after him for a moment before walking over to Barry's truck.

His eyes scanned my entire body, making every nerve hyper aware of his existence.

"I'm a free woman now." My thumbs in my jean pockets.

"Didn't seem that way when he kissed you."

I took in his broad chest in that navy blue sweater. My eyes trailed up to his muscular neck, to his stubbly jaw, and sexy lips that were in that pany-soaking smirk.

"You were the one that told me I couldn't look at you the way you're looking at me."

I met his eyes. "Well, I say a lot of things."

His long fingers wrapped around my belt loops and pulled me against his warm and hard body. Desire in his eyes. "Does that mean you're not swearing off boys?"

"No, I'm still doing a boy cleanse."

"Good thing I'm not a boy." He leaned down, his mouth an inch from mine. He grinned as I leaned up involuntarily. I wanted to ask him what he was waiting for, but then he said, "I'm not going to kiss you until you ask me to."

I whimpered, which made him laugh. "You evil son of bitch."

He leaned against the truck. letting me go. "You said you were on a cleanse."

I gave him the stink eye. "I hate you." I turned away to walk back to my house all hot and flustered.

"Remember, Flower. All you have to do is ask."

My middle finger stuck up in the air as I opened the door.

"What?" I demanded as I flopped down on Caitlin's bed. "You can't be serious?"

She covered her good hand over her face, the other in a cast and sling. "I know, it's totally terrible."

My eyes widened as I looked down at the sheets. "Ew. Did you wash them?"

She gave me a look. "It wasn't on the bed."

I bursted out in laughter. "You slut. Where then?"

She pointed to specific places. "The kitchen counter, the bathroom, and the window sill." She struggled not to laugh. "Oh, God. I can't stop thinking about it. I mean, believe me. I thought I was a lesbian times ten. But we'd been drinking and it sort of happened." She pouted. "Amy found us this morning and it was really bad. She moved out. I mean, Ronnie's here all the time. She saw it before I did."

I reached for her hand. "Oh, honey." I pulled her to me like she did when Barry and I had that huge fight. "Cry into the titties."

She laughed as tears trickled down my chest. "I really messed everything up."

I had to ask.

"Do you have feelings for Ronnie?"

She stilled, then looked up at me with sad eyes. "Honestly, I don't know." She laid her head back down. "Can you just stay here for a while?"

I nodded, knowing my dad would be expecting me to be at the house when he got off. Screw it. I was already grounded. I needed to be here for my friend. She was always there when I spilled my guts. Friendship came at a price and obviously pain because she was laying on my bruised side.

I wanted to tell her that I had broke up with Eddie and that The Flash kissed me, but right now wasn't about me. Another time.

"What's he like?" She asked after awhile in thought provoking silence.

"Heroic."

"Well, duh. Give me the juicy stuff. He seems to like you."

I waved it off. "I don't know about that." My mouth tingled at the memory. I closed my eyes. His hands on my body, his face against mine, the stubble rubbed against my skin roughly. My eyes flew open. Stubble. Maybe I should just ask Barry if he was The Flash. All these little clues kept pointing to him being The Flash. The static shock, the same electric charge in the air whenever they were present, the secrets, how The Flash knew my name or where I lived at, his voice. How I felt like The Flash knew me more than he was letting on.

My hand wiped at the wetness in the corner of my eye. He lied to me all this time. He's been living this double life and I didn't want to admit it that it could be true. He disappeared around the same time as The Flash and they both came back to Central City the night I was held hostage in the high school.

I blew out a breath. Now I knew why he tried to push me away, why The Flash wanted me to stop writing about him so bad. Why he couldn't help me find Barry. God, I told Barry my password was TheFlashIsHot95, he probably thinks I'm a total fangirl! My cheeks flamed. I really wanted to go see him and just ask him, but I promised Caitlin I'd stay.

When I left her apartment, I knew I was in a world of trouble because my dad called a few times and I didn't pick up. What was a few more minutes at Barry's? I let some anger fester and now I was going to open up a can of batshit crazy on his ass.

The last thing I expected to see was red and blue sirens flashing in front of his house. Heartache filled me and I didn't know where it came from. I didn't even know what happened, but it couldn't be good. I ran past the yellow tapes and crowds of people to find Barry sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. My dad and Eddie were standing near him as people stood in blue gloves and black police jackets scoped the house. A white sheet covered what I thought to be a body in the kitchen.

"What happened?"

Barry looked up at me with tears in his eyes and his whole demeanor crumbled. "My dad was murdered."

I went to him, still in shock. He pulled me to him. His body shook as he crushed me into a bear hug. I only ever heard him cry like this when he found out his mom died. Now he was an orphan. My eyes looked to my dad, to Eddie.

"How did this happen?"

Tears welled in my eyes as I rubbed Barry's back. His tears had went through my shirt. I didn't know how I was holding it together. My eyes went back to the white sheet. The thing about death was that it always caught you off guard. It happened to the people that meant the most to you. I know Barry and Henry didn't have the best relationship, but I think Henry getting Barry back was an eye opener. Now Barry couldn't ever have that relationship he wanted with his dad.

I leaned my head on top of his as I tried to stay calm.

After the corner took the body and everyone had shuffled out the house felt empty and void. Eddie and my dad were talking about who know's what on the porch. Barry hadn't said anything since he told me his dad was murdered. I just stayed there in his lap, not knowing what to say or do. All I could do was be there for him.

They came back inside.

"Barry," My dad said, he sat on the coffee table. "You're going to stay with us for a while. Okay?"

He nodded mechanically, his eyes swollen from crying.

There was a knock on the door. Eddie opened it to have Cisco and Linda come inside. When he saw her he practically moved me out the way and went to her. She held him tight.

It was incredibly insensitive to feel jealous right now, but that's what I felt seeing them together like that. Like a punch in the gut. She'd been there for him when I wasn't. In reality, she had a bigger claim on him than I did. They'd been friends longer, been friends through the hard stuff. They had this connection I would never know. I could see it in Cisco's eyes, too.

CISCO'S POV:

A year ago.

"Cisco, wait!" Linda called after me, but I wasn't stopping. "Please, let me explain."

I stopped in my tracks and turned on her. "Explain what? How you were kissing Drew in the boy's locker room? Barry will love that."

Her eyes hardened. "No, he's not. Because you're not going to tell him."

I scoffed. "And why not?"

"Because I know your secret."

My brow arched. "And what secret is that?"

"You're in love with me. Your best friend's girlfriend."

My eyes widened. How did she know?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She gave me a look. "Please. I see the way you look at me. I'll bet that Barry wouldn't like it either."

Sometimes I didn't know what I saw in her. She was really quite nice, really pretty. Smart. Down to earth. But other times she was cold hearted. The way she'd give Barry the cold shoulder when he didn't give her what she wanted. Now she was blackmailing me.

"You'd really do that to him? You'd ruin our friendship to keep him in the dark? Why? Obviously, you're into other people."

Some of the evil left her eyes. "I'm not proud of what you just saw. We all have our weaknesses."

"And you're using mine against me. Telling him about you is almost worth losing him as a friend."

She stepped closer. "Come on, Cisco. You don't want to see him hurt anymore than I do."

Now that we could agree on.

I huffed. "Be more careful next time. I don't want him hearing rumors."

She nodded and gave me a relieved half grin. "Thank you."

"Just so we're clear," I took a step forward. "If you really hurt Barry, you're reputation will be the last of your worries."

Her eyes widened as swallowed the lump in her throat. She walked away.


	18. Heal

**The song for this chapter is Tom Odell - Heal**

IRIS' POV:

"Alright," My dad announced as he descended the stairs. "I called your parents, Cisco, and Linda. You're welcome to stay the night if you'd like."

They looked at each other and nodded.

"Thanks." They said at the same time.

Linda rose from her spot on the couch next to Barry. "I'm going to go get some clothes."

"You can just borrow some of mine," I told her.

Regardless if I was jealous of her and Barry I thought it best to have her around right now. It wasn't about me, it was about Barry.

"Cisco, you can sleep on the couch. I'll get you some clothes." My dad went upstairs.

Cisco looked at Linda awkwardly. "Where are you sleeping?"

Definitely not with Barry.

"She'll sleep with me."

Cisco made a face. "Now that I gotta see."

Linda and I stared at him.

"I'm deprived of any action, cut me some slack."

We laughed.

Linda squeezed his shoulder. "It'll get better."

He deadpanned. "I'm not gay, I'm just lonely, Linda. But thank you." The sarcasm dripped from his voice.

Barry stood, surprising us all because he'd been as still as a statue for most of the night.

"I'm going to go for a walk." He muttered as he headed for the door.

I rose from the armrest. "Okay, I'll go with you." I grabbed my coat.

He turned back to me. "Actually, I wanted to talk to Linda."

"Oh," I put the coat back. "I'll just help my dad make up the guest room." I offered a weak smile.

Linda followed him outside and it was just Cisco and I standing there awkwardly.

"You don't think they're getting back together, do you?" He asked.

I walked over to him. "Who knows."

He put his arm around my shoulders. "Well, it's just us. The only logical thing to do is bump uglies."

I playfully smacked his chest. "Yeah, right."

"Ouch. Feelings crushed."

My brow rose. "You'll figure things out with Linda."

He nodded. "Unfortunately, I think things are already figured out."

"Iris," My dad called from the top of the steps. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I found him in the guest room, putting on new sheets.

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay. You spent a lot of time over at Henry's the last few months."

I was trying not to think about that.

"I'm okay, dad. I'm just really worried about Barry. I can't imagine what he must be going through."

He nodded. "I think Barry is going to need some time. He'll stay with us for as long as he needs. I'm trusting that you won't have a problem with that."

"Like you want him to officially move in or something? You're not adopting him, are you?" Worry set in. I loved Barry, but I didn't want him to be my brother!

He chuckled. "No, sweetie." He smoothes the comforter down. "I have to speak with his family, but I can't imagine they won't allow him to stay with us. It's his senior year, he's already behind. We're just next door. It's the simplest option."

I helped take off the old pillow cases and put the new ones one.

"I know you two have something going on, but that's going to have to change. I don't want any hanky panky in my house, do you understand, young lady?"

My face flushed. "Yes, dad. Geez."

Besides, I don't think Barry was too worried about any of that right now.

When Barry and Linda came back from their walk I brought her to my room.

"You can sleep in my bed with me, I'm not opposed to sharing." Well...

She gave me a raised brow. "Uh, thanks."

"The bathroom's in there. I'll get you some clothes." I gave her some pj's. "Anything else I missed?"

She nodded as she sat on the bed. She patted the space next to her.

I hesitantly sat.

"You know, there's nothing going on with Barry and I, right?"

My eyes narrowed as my lips pursed.

She rolled her eyes. "Iris, you don't have to worry. I'm not here to replace you. No one could replace you."

I wasn't so sure about that.

"How did he seem when you walked?"

"Quiet," She shrugged. "For the most part. He just wanted to apologize for not telling me he was back sooner. I should be mad at Cisco. How could he not tell me?"

My defenses raised. "Hey, don't be mad at Cisco. Be mad at me, I should've told you."

She nodded. "Someone should've told me. I'm just glad he's back. Cisco really needed him."

I gave a sad smile.

"Anyway, I'm going to jump in the shower. Thanks for the hospitality."

BARRY'S POV:

It felt like everything was in slow motion, like I was sleepwalking. I couldn't believe it. How was my dad dead? How could I be orphaned at seventeen? None of this made sense. Who would want to kill my dad? He was a doctor, he saved lives. The police think it was an attempted robbery, but nothing was stolen. I shouldn't have gone to see Oliver and Felicity about letting Wells in. I could've stopped it.

Seeing Linda here, it brought back a lot of old memories. We'd been friends before we were anything else. She'd been there when I felt like no one else was. She knew things about me that I wished she hadn't. And vice versa.

All I had the energy to do right now was lay here in bed and think about how incredibly selfish I'd been over the years. I should've tried harder to have the relationship with my dad that I wanted. Now it was too late.

My door creaked open, a head popped in, her hair illuminated by the hall light. She looked like an angel.

Iris whispered, "Are you awake?"

I nodded.

"Can I come in?"

I nodded.

She came to sit on the floor by the bed, leaving a crack in the door so we could see each other. Her hand grabbed mine and I almost immediately felt better.

"I don't really know what to say," Her voice low. "Asking if you're okay seems trivial." Her eyes found mine, her big brown eyes that could understand me so well. "I don't know what you must be feeling right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you."

Tears stung my eyes. I could see it was eating her to see me like this.

Her hand came to caress my face, her thumb wiped away a tear as she leaned closer. "I wasn't there for you before, but I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She brought her lips to my forehead for a tender kiss.

My chin trembled, I really tried to hold it together. I was sick of crying, but Iris brought out every emotion in me. Silent sobs wracked my body.

She pulled me to her. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

I just needed her to hold me.

"My dad's going to find this psychopath and put his ass in jail." She promised. "You're going to be okay."

My eyes became heavy after a while once the crying stopped. When I fell asleep I would be alone and I didn't want to be alone. Everyone was giving me the space they thought I deserved. Well, that and they were all asleep.

When she thought I'd fallen asleep she started to rise. "Goodnight, Bear."

My hand reached out and grabbed hers, surprising her. "Please, don't leave me." My voice hoarse.

She nodded before climbing into bed behind me. Her arms wrapped around me. "You can be the little spoon tonight."

I cracked a small smile she couldn't see.

"I love you, Iris."

She stilled against me. "I love you, too, Barry."

Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

CISCO'S POV:

I flipped and turned as I tried to get comfortable on the couch. It seemed impossible. Besides, I wasn't even tired. Tonight's events kept running through my mind. I wanted to be there for Barry. We weren't friends when his mom died. From my knowledge, all he had was Iris and Linda back then.

She was mad at me, I could tell. I would be, too. When Barry came back, I should've told her, but Barry asked me not to. He wanted to talk to her, but I guess with everything going on there just wasn't time. Until tonight when Iris called me with the terrible news and I had to tell her because we had to go over there.

There was an incessant poking in my back. I turned to find that Linda standing over me with that I'm about to fuck you up look she owns so well.

"We need to talk."

I turned around and sat up. "I should've told you sooner."

She flopped down beside me, her arms across her chest. But I think that was more because she didn't have a bra on than her being mad at me.

"Yeah, you should've."

"So, do you want to hit me or something?"

Her lips tilted up in amusement. "Do you want me to hit you?"

"If it'll make you feel better." I shrugged.

She shook her head. "I don't want to hit you, Cisco."

Feeling a little brave, I asked, "Then what do you want to do?"

She grinned shyly. "You're cute when you're ballsy."

Did she just say that?

She met my eyes and I didn't know if I should make a move or not. It didn't feel right. Not tonight. After a moment, she rose. "I think I should get back upstairs." She flushed.

I nodded. "I'll walk you."

She laughed. "You're going to walk me to Iris' room?"

"You gotta a problem with that?" My brow rose.

"No," Her eyes smiled at me.

She lead the way upstairs.

I stopped just outside the door as she turned to face me in the doorway. "Well, goodnight." I whispered awkwardly.

She leaned forward, her lips tugged on mine only for a few seconds before she pulled away. She grinned up at me. "Night, Cisco."

Well...that just happened.

I gave a nod.

She closed the door.

Man, I needed some game.

BARRY'S POV:

I woke with Iris wrapped around me. A smile came to my face until I realized why today was different than yesterday morning. My dad was dead. All I could do was lay there.

There was a knock on the door. Joe came in. He didn't seem all too surprised to see Iris in bed with me. If my dad hadn't been brutally murdered last night I think he would've given me a stern look and a good talking to, but he just looked at me with sad eyes.

"There's someone here to see you."

I untangled from Iris. She stirred.

"Barry, you okay?"

"Yes." I lied.

She sat up, her eyes narrowed. She looked to Joe. "We didn't do anything,"

He held up a hand. "I know, sweetie. I was just coming to tell Barry he had company."

Probably my aunt Jessie.

We all traveled downstairs. The last people I expected to see was Oliver and Felicity.

I pulled Felicity into a hug. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We heard the news." Oliver said.

Felicity squeezed me tight. "We came to see how you were doing."

"Well, being as you all are already here how about you stay for dinner." Joe offered.

Felicity and I both looked to Oliver with pleading eyes.

"We'd be happy to." He gave Felicity a look.

She flashed a grin at him.

Cisco just stared at Oliver. So did Iris.

"Sorry, I guess my friends already know who you are." I told him.

He held out his hand for Cisco to shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Cisco Ramon." He shook vigorously.

"Don't break the guy's hand." Joe joked.

I grinned.

Oliver turned to Iris and her eyes widened. "You must be Iris."

She let out a giggle. I gave her a look. "You know my name?"

He chuckled. "Barry talked about you enough."

My face flushed. I looked to Felicity with a tight grin.

She squeezed my shoulder. "This outta be fun. I mean, not so much because you're dad's is dead, but..." She gave a nervous chuckle. "God, I'm an idiot."

"Yeah," Iris gawked at her.

"I'm incredibly sorry." Felicity touched my shoulder.

I squeezed her hand. "I know," I hugged her to my side. "You and that mouth of yours hasn't gotten any better."

"Nothing slips by you, nerd."

Iris cleared her throat. "I'll make breakfast everyone. Come on." She marched to the kitchen.

Everyone moved to the kitchen to help.

Cisco pulled Felicity aside and whispered, "You may not want to eat your plate. She might try and poison you."

She made a face as she looked at me.

"You should probably back off of Barry," Cisco added nonchalantly. "Just throwing that out there."

Well, this should be interesting.

A/N: Thanks for all the support. Please review!


	19. Think Twice

The song for this chapter is Groove Amanda -Think Twice

BARRY'S POV:

I walked over to the stove where Iris was scrambling the last of the eggs. She had a few spots of flour on her face and clothes. "You didn't have to cook us all breakfast."

She gave a tight smile. "I did." She flung out the spatula, almost hitting me in the face. "How do you like your eggs?" She rolled her eyes. "Over easy, of course." She dumped the cooked eggs onto the plate and started on my eggs.

I placed my hand on her shoulder.

She jumped, her big brown eyes met mine. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, taking a large sip of the vanilla nut coffee she was obsessed with. "Never been better." Her voice unconvincing. "I need you to finish help setting the plates. How do you know Felicity?"

My brow rose. Was she really jealous?

"Uh, I met her when I was away." My eyes went to find her and Oliver talking in the corner.

"Oh, okay. She's pretty. Do you think she's pretty? Certainly, a little edgy and dark, but still pretty, right?"

I blew out a breath. I had a feeling I couldn't answer this without being wrong. "Yeah, she is. Are you sure you're okay?"

She shoved my plate of personalized eggs to my chest. "If you ask me that one more time I'm going to stab you with this fork." She fake grinned.

I gave her a look. "Okay. Thanks for the breakfast."

While we ate, I noticed Cisco shaking his head in warning at Felicity. She just waved him off with a laugh. My eyes found Iris and Eddie talking at the other side of the table. She kept eyeing Felicity. Maybe I should've watched her make all the food. No, Iris wasn't crazy. She definitely seemed off, but I had a feeling last night was catching up to her now.

"So, Oliver," Eddie started. "What's it like to be a billionaire in Starling City?"

My eyes went to Iris. I knew she kept tabs on The Flash while I was gone and I hoped she didn't make the connection if she hadn't already. I swear she could tell. But if she knew, why wouldn't she confront me about it? Maybe I was being paranoid.

Oliver faced him. "To say the least, it has its advantages. Although, there are a lot of citizens that rather not have my family in a position of power. We are trying to rejuvenate the city, a rebranding of the company so to speak."

"How do you know Barry?"

Oliver looked at me with a warm grin that I knew was for show. "I gave him some work to do in the community for a few months. He actually worked a lot with Felicity, as well. She's in the IT department at Queen Consolidated."

They all nodded in unison, then looked at me.

I looked at Cisco for help. "You and Felicity should talk tech sometime."

"Right," He nodded. "I'll put it on my calendar."

I gave him a look.

"Or we could do it now." He turned to Felicity.

They started talking about a bunch of stuff that went over everybody else's heads so they turned back to their own conversations.

After we finished I started collecting plates.

Joe stood. "I got it. You enjoy your company."

"It's okay, I can handle it."

He gave me a stern look. "Barry,"

I raised my hands in caution. "Okay."

Oliver patted me on the back. "I needed to talk to you anyway." He walked to the hall where we could have some privacy. "We're going to find out who did this."

I shook my head. "I don't want anybody else getting hurt, Oliver. Let the police handle it."

"It won't be a problem." He insisted.

"Oliver, leave it alone. It's not your business to handle."

Hurt flashed in his blue eyes. "You're my business, Barry."

I sighed, my hand ran through my hair. "I'm not Thea. I'm not your responsibility."

He took a step back and gave a curt nod. "My mistake for caring too much."

I sagged. Hurting his feelings wasn't the goal. I just wanted him to leave my dad's case alone. I could handle it myself. He'd only be in the way.

"I didn't mean that. I just...you've already done so much for me and this could be dealt with my Joe and Eddie."

He nodded. "Okay, if you're sure. You seem to be doing okay."

I shrugged. "I have all these amazing people around me, how could I not be?"

"You mean, you have Iris?"

"I don't have Iris."

Now was not the time to focus on anything besides my dad. We both knew it. Starting something now felt wrong. Like she said last night, she'd be there for me this time. I was trusting that she would. Even if I pushed her away, I hoped she'd remain strong.

Oliver looked back at her helping out Joe with the dishes. "I think you do have Iris. And it's scaring you both."

I came to watch her. Even in pj's and her messy bun she was still gorgeous. Maybe she was more beautiful this way than when she dressed up.

"How am I supposed to pursue something with her right now? She knows I'm hiding something. She won't buy that I was working for your company. She's going to figure out my secret," I whispered. "When she does it's not going to be pretty. I don't know how to handle this one."

She laughed at something Joe said as they finished loading the dishwasher.

I felt a smile fall on my lips.

"Look, I trained you so you could keep your family safe. If you think telling Iris would keep her safer than not telling her then it's your decision. I just wanted you to have the right tools to be better at your job."

I nodded. "What if she hates me afterward? What if I lose her?"

"You won't. I see the way she looks at you. She's very protective of you. You should probably tell Felicity to cool it down a bit."

I grinned. "Maybe you should tell her. You're the jealous one."

His face turned red, something I'd never seen happen. "Please, I am not jealous of you and Felicity."

My brow arched. "Really, dude?"

"Dude, what are we in high school?" He playfully punched my arm. "Oh, I forgot. One of us is."

I laughed. It was rare to see Oliver in such a happy mood. He didn't have the best family situation either. I knew his job as the Arrow was a filler, he needed to feel useful like I did. Although, his need was a little more deep seeded than mine.

"You know you always have a place in Starling City. Come by whenever you need to." He offered a half smile.

I nodded. "Thanks, for everything."

He held out his hand for a shake.

IRIS' POV:

Linda came over as I finished putting the corn pudding in the stove. "You sure are fast at cooking."

I shrugged. "My dad prepped half of it."

We turned to lean against the counter. The sound of Felicity's laughter drew our attention. Her and Cisco were talking animatedly about science stuff, with Barry chiming in often.

I couldn't help but feel some form of unrequited love. My eyes narrowed.

"She has got to go." Linda chimed, obviously jealous of how excited Cisco was to talk to her.

"Yup." I agreed.

Cisco and Linda left to change and let their families know they would be spending half of their Thanksgiving dinner here. I mean, I know Barry needs support right now, but I didn't think it was that serious that they needed to miss their Thanksgiving with their families. My dad and I were enough to comfort Barry. Okay, I wanted Barry to myself. But I couldn't be selfish with him. Besides, this must've been how he felt when he saw me with Eddie, and I was the one that made a big deal about not trusting him and not knowing enough. So basically, I had no room to talk.

When I got out the shower the last person I expected to see was Barry sitting on my bed.

I jumped about ten feet in the air, mainly because I only had on a bra and undies. In that moment I was incredibly glad I didn't pick any granny panties.

"What are you doing in here?" I rushed to put on the clothes I had layed on my bed. A green dress and browns boots.

His eyes never left me. "I just wanted to talk."

He wore a black dress shirt and dark jeans. Yum.

"About what?" I reached behind me to zip up the dress but it wouldn't budge.

He rose. His hand easily worked the zipper. His warm breath on the back of my neck. "Have I told you how much I love your hair like this?" He turned me toward him, his hands on my waist. "You look beautiful."

I couldn't keep the grin from my face. I'd been feeling pretty useless the last few hours. I didn't think he'd been paying attention to me at all.

"What did you want to tell me?" I tried to stay focused.

His forehead creased. "I think you already know."

"I'd rather you tell me."

He cleared his throat. "I know now isn't the right time with everything going on, but I needed you to know." He looked all shy and vulnerable. "I'm in love with you, Iris."

All I could do was stare at him with wide eyes. Not at all what I thought he was going to say.

"Please, say something."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Of course, I felt the same way. Of course, I wanted to say it back. But I honestly thought Barry trusted me enough to tell me he was The Flash. I was beyond thinking it could be anybody else. The way my body reacted to Barry the same way it did The Flash's, I couldn't imagine it being anyone different. It just made sense.

I knew it would look like I was being a bitch, but I wanted him to share everything with me. Well, not everything, but the really important stuff. This was important. So my spike of anger wasn't unjustified. Was it?

My eyes stung as I looked down. "I know who you are."

"What do you mean?"

I pushed him a few feet back as my eyes glared at him. "I know you're The Flash, Barry." I angrily whispered.

His jaw hardened. "How long have you known?"

My arms folded across my chest. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

He closed the distance between us, his green eyes pleading. "I didn't want you to get hurt."

"I'm going to need a better explanation than that, Barry."

He ran his hand through his hair as he fought for a better answer. "You mean a lot to me, you always have. When it happened, I didn't think we'd be friends again, so there was no need to tell you. Then we became more and you were writing about me and it was dangerous and I had to keep you safe and away from it, but you kept showing up and putting yourself in danger. Once I knew you actually cared about me I couldn't tell you because I knew you'd show up at every sighting to make I was okay. And if you got hurt again because of me I don't what I'd do."

I tried to take all that in, tried to stow my anger and listen to what he had to say. "Is that why you left? You thought you were protecting me?"

"It's not that simple, but the short version is yes."

I think part of me wanted it to not be true, I didn't want to believe he wouldn't tell me something like this, but I could understand his reasoning's. If I were in his position I couldn't say I wouldn't do the same.

"Who else knows?"

"Everyone down there expect Linda and Eddie."

I nodded. "So how do you and Felicity really know each other? Don't give me that look, I'm not jealous."

He didn't looked convinced. "She helped figure some stuff out. So did Oliver."

"So, did you do anything with her?"

He grinned, clearly amused that I was now the jealous one. "Not when all I thought about was you."

"Iris." A familiar voice called.

My eyes squeezed tight. "What?"

"Dinner's ready, wake up." Barry shook my sleeping form.

I shot him a dirty look. "How long was I asleep?"

"Like an hour and a half."

I groaned once I realized that conversation was only a dream. Fuck me!

"What's going on with you?" He sat down next to me.

I groaned into the pillow. "I had a dream and you were perfect."

His brow lifted suggestively. "Another one?"

"What? Not a sex dream, Bear. Wait, what do you mean another one?"

He laughed. "You're very vocal when you sleep."

I threw the pillow at him. "Bite me!"

"Not today," He picked me up out the bed with a strength that could only be classified as sexy. "You gotta hold me together, remember?"

He wore the same black t-shirt and jeans from my dream. Freaky.

"You should change your clothes." I suggested.

He set me down on my feet. I looked down at my green dress and went to my closet.

"Why is that?"

"Because you stink."

He came to lean against my open closet door. "I don't stink. I smell great, Ms. I have drool on my face."

My eyes widened. "Well, get it off." I combed through my dresses.

His hand wiped at my face. "Why are you changing? You look nice."

"Because," I held up a blue dress to my body. He shook his head. I put it back. "I was wearing this in my dream." I grabbed a purple dress. He looked interested. I turned around for him to unzip me. I stepped out the dress and threw on the purple one. "Besides, I don't think I'm ready for what happened."

His eyes narrowed. "Do I want to know?"

Barry deserved some time to grieve, time to heal. I wasn't right of me to push him on this silly fixation. Honestly, at this point, if he told me I wouldn't even be angry.

"Probably not." I stood in front of the door length mirror. "Yea or nay?"

He came to stand behind me. His eyes met mine in the mirror as his hands grabbed my hips. "I think you're still the most beautiful girl in the world, no matter what you have on."

My heart.

I turned back to him, his hands still on my waist. "How are you doing?"

"I want everyone to stop talking about it, I know that sounds bad, but that's what I want." He sighed. "My aunt Jessie called, she's on her way now. She said she had a big surprise for me."

"Don't you hate your aunt Jessie?"

He nodded. "So much, it's not even funny. I hope she doesn't want me to move with her."

Worry sprouted. What if she did want to take Barry away?

"But that's all the way in Wisconsin."

I tried to think about life without Barry. It seemed really dull. I'd still have my friends, but Barry was irreplaceable.

"Hey," He hugged me to him. "I'm not going anywhere."

When we finally made our way downstairs everyone was sitting around the table. My dad zeroed in on Barry holding my hand. He cleared his throat and I turned red. Barry pulled away with a chuckle. We sat next to each other.

"Who'd like to say grace?"

"I will," Barry stood.

We all looked up at Barry's unexpected volunteer.

"Okay," Joe nodded. "Thank you, son."

"I'll make it quick, I know we're all hungry."

The food did smell good. Kudos to my dad.

A few chuckled.

"I'm thankful for having each of you in my life." He looked at each of us. "Without you, I don't know what I'd be going through right now." He gave a soft smile. "Joe, you've looked out for me a lot over the years. Taught me how to shave. Talked to me about girls."

A light laughter filled the room. Linda and I locked eyes. She winked. I grinned.

"Each of you has been there for me through tough times and I really appreciate the support. I'm sure you all had better things to do than spend time babying me,"

"Not really, no." Cisco grinned.

We laughed.

"I love you guys," Barry looked down at me, his eyes piercing.

Did he just say that and mean what I thought he meant in front of everybody?

He sat down and I could feel all eyes on me.

Well, I think it's safe to say he didn't have any feelings for Felicity, so where did that feeling of unrequited love come from?

After we finished dinner the boys cleaned up dinner, leaving Linda, Felicity, and I alone to socialize.

"So," She started. "I get the feeling you two don't like me very much."

Linda and I shared a look.

"Yeah, that's right." Linda said.

I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Felicity's face.

"Look," I pulled her closer so we were out of the boy's ear range. "It's nothing personal. You just sort of showed up and stepped on our territory."

She pursed her lips. "That's what I thought this was about." She gestured behind her. "I'm not here to steal your men, I promise." She turned to Linda. "Cisco has a brilliant mind and it's rare I get to meet someone that's on my level. You should be lucky. He's really into you, he stares at you every five seconds."

Linda grinned. "Really?"

She nodded, then turned towards me. "And since the day I met Barry he's done nothing but talk about you and only you, and I wouldn't admit it to him, but I got tired of hearing your name." She offered a small smile. "So are we cool now?"

Linda and I nodded.

"Sorry, I was a bitch." I offered.

"Yeah, she's sorry she was a bitch."

I glared at Linda. She cracked a smile. Now I could see how I confused her sarcasm with bitchiness.

"Besides, I have my eye on someone else." Felicity looked back at Oliver.

My eyes widened. "You and Oliver Queen?" I gave her a funny look.

Her eyes flared. "Everyone always says it like that. I know a goth and a preppy boy doesn't make sense."

"No, it doesn't." Linda agreed. "But he is really hot. And rich."

My brow rose. "What about Cisco?"

"Oh, Oliver's not my type." She waved it off. "Too many muscles, not enough brains. I like em scrawny and nerdy." She cut her eye at Cisco, who was stuffing his face with pumpkin pie. She rolled her eyes as she tried to hide her smile.

"Attraction rarely makes sense." I added.

Felicity shrugged. "It seems to make sense between you and Barry." She seemed a little sad. "I can't even get Oliver to ask me out, let alone see me that way."

Now I felt bad about wanting to scratch her eyes out.

"Have you tried not dressing so depressingly?" Linda asked. "I mean, you're a cute girl, but all that black does nothing for your figure. How long are you planning on staying?"

"A few days. Why?"

Linda smiled. "I think we can help you."

She waved it off. "Oh, you don't have to do that."

Linda nodded. "Yes, we do. Trust me, you'll look fabulous."

"What are you girls talking about?" Cisco asked, hanging his arm around Linda's shoulders.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You didn't bring me any pie."

"You can get a taste." He leaned down to kiss her and I almost jumped up and down with joy.

Damn. I didn't know Cisco has game. I did not know.

My eyes flew to Barry, worried he'd feel some type of way about it.

He walked this way, two pieces of pumpkin pie in his hands. He noticed Cisco and Linda and grinned as he walked by them to get to me. "Pie?"

"Thanks." I took it as I followed him to the couch. "Are you okay with that?" I pointed behind us.

He nodded. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

My brow rose. "Maybe because you used to date her? And Cisco's your best friend." I whispered.

He pulled me onto his lap. "If they're happy then I'm happy. Besides, I don't really have my eye on Linda."

My eyes went to my dad, he was talking to Oliver by the fireplace. I looked back at Barry. "What's going on with you? My dad's right there."

"Joe knows one way or another we'll end up together."

I wanted to be mad at him for thinking I'd always be available to him, but my dad supporting whatever we were made me happy. Now I was wondering if he talked to Barry about it because just yesterday he told me we couldn't pursue anything because he would be staying here.

"If my dad becomes your legal guardian then we're going to be kind of like brother and sister." I took a bite of the pie. Damn good pie.

"Thankfully, no one will look at us and think we're related."

Someone turned on the game and for a while we were all plugged into the tv. The doorbell rung.

"I think that's Caitlin and Ronnie." I jumped up.

"Are we too late for dessert?" Ronnie asked.

Caitlin rolled her eyes.

"Come on in." I hugged them both.

When I looked around the room I noticed how content everyone was. Cisco and Linda holding hands, Oliver and Felicity chatting closely, and my dad sipping on a beer with Eddie. Despite the death that still hung in the air, today ended up pretty nice.

I went go sit back down, thinking this was one of the best Thanksgiving's I've had in a long time. A lot could change in a few months.

Car sirens went off as the windows broke. Shards of glass flew into the air as a few screamed. I was pushed to the ground inhumanly fast as Barry hovered over me.

A/N: Legit been writing this all day, hope yall like it :)


	20. Pieces

The song for this chapter is Andrew Belle - Pieces

IRIS' POV:

FLASHBACK

This was my second week working at Jitters, I managed to screw up almost every order, backup the register with voids, and knock over everything. Needless to say, I was still very nervous.

The shift manager, Caitlin, was pretty nice about it. How did I still have a job?

"I promise, you'll get better at it." She grinned. "I didn't become a shift manager over night."

My hand went over my straightened hair. "You should just fire me."

"We're not going to fire you, Iris. Just about everyone is terrible when they first start. The crowds can get to you. It's easier when you take it one order at a time. Don't rush everything. And, if you tell them you're still in training the customers will be more forgiving."

I nodded. "Okay, thanks." I grinned.

The bell rang at the top of the door to let us know new customers arrived. I looked up to see Barry Allen and his group of followers. Disgust wiped the smile off my face. When he saw me he scowled. Unfortunately, he had to walk over.

"They must be desperate for help." He muttered under his breath as he looked at the menu.

I prayed Caitlin would take over this one, but she just gave me an encouraging nod from the back. Fine, this was the perfect opportunity to poison him.

"What can I get you?" I was confused why he was even buying coffee, he hated it. Unless that's changed over the last decade as well.

"What's can I get you?" Barry continued to ignore me.

Drew appeared by his side. "Your number." He winked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Dude, gross." Barry made a face.

I bit the inside of my cheek, but otherwise kept a seemingly pleasant smile in place. "I'll give you a minute." I turned my back to them and resumed cleaning the mess I made. Coffee beans everywhere.

"What's your most complicated drink?"

I turned to see Barry leaning against the counter, his evil eyes on me. "You know, maybe you should just go to Starbucks. They're equipped to handle to assholes."

He held his hand to his chest. "We're flattered you think so highly of us," He smirked.

I just wanted to reach across the counter and attack his face with my fist.

"Since you're clearly new at this, I'll go easy on you. House special."

My eyes went to Drew. "What about you?"

He was too busy checking me out to notice I talked to him.

I gave Barry a look. "Control your lap dog."

"I'll take the same." Drew looked around. "Where's your bathroom?"

"Around the corner, to the left."

I started to pour the coffee in the largest cup we had. I was going to overprice the shit out of him.

"Actually, I'm thinking something a little sweeter." Barry chimed in at the last minute.

I slid the coffee to him. "You know you can eat dicks for all I care." I whispered angrily at him. "Go somewhere else. I'm not cleaning up after you and your dumb jocks, Allen."

He handed me a twenty. "Here, keep the change. You obviously need it."

Irritation festered. "You know, if I wasn't afraid of losing this job I'd throw one of these really heavy and expensive machines at you." I snatched the money from his hand.

He looked around. "Do you guys have a customer service card. I'd like to make a complaint."

"Nope," I handed him his change. "Have a nice day."

He eyes me and It wasn't like I was oblivious to his confidence, he was just an asshole. "You know, this back and forth is getting old. Iris, if you want me to be your friend again all you have to do is beg. I'll reconsider and get back to you."

My eye twitched from anger. I held my hand in front of the register, giving him the middle finger, even though he couldn't see it.

"I hope you die of Ebola." I grinned.

He snatched his coffee from the counter and made his way up to the second floor where his friends sat.

Caitlin came over, concern in her eyes. "What was that about?"

I waved it off. "Just a few jackass jocks from school."

She nodded. "Guys can be so disgusting sometimes. That's why I play for the other team."

"Cool. I've always wanted a lesbian friend. I mean, you're not my friend, my co-worker. I mean, you're my boss." I gave a sheepish grin.

She laughed. "You're funny. I think you'll fit in here."

I gave a relieved sigh. I didn't seem to fit in anywhere. I tried to not let it get to me, I focused on school work. That just wasn't enough. Everyone said you'd become yourself in high school, but that's not true. You become who others want you to be. Hopefully, college would be different. I couldn't wait to move away from here and have a life worth living.

"Hello?" A voice called.

I turned to see a guy looking at me with concern."Oh, I'm sorry." I locked on his blue eyes and blond hair. "Sorry, I'm still in training." I offered a weak smile.

He grinned. "I'll try and take it easy on you, Iris."

How did he know my name?

He saw the alarm in my eyes and pointed to my chest. "Your name tag."

"Oh," I relaxed. "I'm really bad at this, bare with me. What can I get you?"

He smiled at me.

PRESENT

"Iris!" My dad called. "Are you okay?"

Barry helped me up to my feet.

"Yeah," I tried to catch my breath. "I'm okay." My eyes never left Barry's. He used his speed to push us to the ground.

He checked me over frantically.

Car sirens were still going off all over the neighborhood.

"Is everyone okay?" My dad yelled.

We all stood as we looked at each other with scared eyes.

"What happened?" Caitlin asked.

I drifted towards the empty windows that gave a chill to the house. My boots crunched on the glass. People filled up the street.

"Something blew past us with a lot of force."

Barry ran outside.

I ran after him to find out what was going on.

"Iris!" My dad called.

Barry was nowhere in sight. I turned to see everyone shuffled outside the door.

"Where's Barry?" Linda asked.

A man in a black hoodie waltzed from out the cut with a scowl. "Where's The Flash?" He held out his gloved hand and a nearby car flew up in the air, the windows shattered.

"Get down," Eddie pointed his gun at the hooded man. "On the ground!"

The hooded man pointed his gun at Eddie, sending him flying back.

He was knocked over by a great force. The Flash stood in the middle of the street. People gawked at him, pointed and cheered.

"It's over, Rathaway." The Flash announced.

Rathaway stood, his gloves raised as he blew The Flash into the air.

I raced forward, but someone held me back.

"He's got this." Cisco said into my ear.

"What if he gets hurt?" I questioned.

Rathaway aimed his gloves at neighbors. The Flash moved them out the way in time and raced to him. He snatched his gloves and tossed them in our general direction. Rathaway whispered something to him that made Barry shove him forward. My dad and Eddie rushed forward. My dad cuffed him as Eddie read him his rights.

The Flash looked at me and winked before running away.

I grinned before I turned around to see My dad shoving Rathaway in the back of his car.

"Honey, we'll be at the station. Can you go to the store and get some tarp to hang over the windows?"

I nodded. "Yeah. What else do you want me to do?"

"Make sure Barry's okay. Then clean up the mess. I'll be back as soon as I can."

We all shuffled inside. I searched around for Barry, but he was no where in sight.

"I'll go to the store for you." Oliver offered. "Felicity, do you mind coming along? I need your opinion on something."

She nodded, clearly still shocked by the events that just happened.

Cisco grabbed a broom and dustpan and started sweeping. I tried to help him, but he just told me he had it.

Linda sat next to me on the couch. "Where's Barry? Is he okay?"

I shrugged.

We waited for twenty minutes until the back door opened. I jumped up from the couch and ran to the kitchen. Barry closed the door behind him, The Flash outfit still on, but he took his mask down.

He turned towards me with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry I l-"

I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his muscular form. "I don't care. I'm just glad you're okay."

He squeezed me back. "Wait," He pulled away. "You knew?"

I gave him a look. "I figured it out." I playfully smacked his chest. "Although you should've told me."

"Wait, you're The Flash?" Linda demanded from behind us.

Cisco pulled her away. "They're having an epic moment. You're ruining it right now."

I grinned at them and turned back to Barry. "I'm proud of you, Bear. Even if you lied to me for months, I understand."

He sighed in relief. "I just wanted to protect you."

I pulled his forehead down to plant a kiss. "Thank you for saving my life all those times."

He cracked a smile. "Yeah, I was really trying to hold it together with TheFlashIsHot95."

I laughed as I shoved his shoulder. "We're not talking about that ever again." I hung my head in embarrassment.

"I thought it was cute."

I peeked up at him. "Yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

Linda rushed back into the kitchen. "Can you please tell me what's going on now?"

Cisco came in behind her with his hands raised in defeat.

"That was you, Barry?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She grinned. "That was so cool. You've been doing this for months! How is that even possible? I promise, I won't tell anyone. I swear on my life." She held out her pinky.

He stepped forward and took her pinky in his. "I appreciate that." He flashed upstairs and was down in different clothes in a second.

My eyes widened. "So cool."

"Totally." Linda agreed.

"You know, I really hate you somtimes, man." Cisco remarked. "Just gotta steal my thunder."

Barry laughed. "Some of us are just born with it." He hung his arm around my shoulders.

A/N : Sorry it's so short, I've been working all day and this was all I could write at the moment. Hope yall liked it :)


	21. I've Got This Friend

**The song for this chapter is The Civil Wars - I've Got This Friend**

.CAITLIN'S POV:

Ronnie ran away frantically. I followed him behind a nearby house to find him sitting in a ball with his ears covered as he repeated something silently. I didn't know what happened. One moment we were all standing outside, trying to find out what the hell happened to the windows, and then he was running away from it all.

I carefully crouched down in front of him. He jumped at another car alarm going off. Fear in his blue eyes. My heart thumped in my chest as I reached forward.

"Ronnie?" I whispered, afraid to make any loud noises.

His body shook.

"What happened?" I leaned forward.

He squeezed his head. "I can't make the voices stop."

I wet my lips before saying, "Are you okay?" It sounded stupid asking, but I didn't know what else to say. "You can tell me. It's okay." I gave a forced smile while my hand reached out to take his away from his head. I winced and pulled back. My eyes went to my hand, blisters forming in across it.

"I can't make them stop, Cait." His voice wavered.

I quickly looked around before I gathered him up. "Come on, let's go back to my place."

After a long shower, he came to join me in the kitchen. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Thank you."

I nodded. "Do you need anything?"

Quite honestly, I was scared. Not of him, but for him. There was no way his hand should've burned mine. I wiggled my gauzed wrapped hand as a reminder.

"No," He leaned against the counter opposite of me. "I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what that was."

"You didn't mean to hurt me. It's fine."

His eyes shot to mine before they found my hand. Guilt took over his face. "I didn't mean to, Cait. I don't know what's going on with me."

I offered a supportive grin. "We'll figure it out. You don't have to go through this alone, okay?"

He nodded, sadness in his eyes. "It's just this isn't the first time I've burned you."

I knew he was referring to Amy and I breaking up. Well, it was more like Amy dumping me and not wanting anything else to do with me. I couldn't really blame her. Ronnie had been inside me and I hadn't stopped. I should've stopped it, but it was too good to be stopped.

I waved it off. "We got past that. We'll get past this. I promise."

He nodded with a huff. "Do you mind if I crash here? I don't really want to deal with my brother tonight."

"Of course." I grinned as I pulled him to the bed.

FELICITY'S POV:

"Well, if Iris didn't know Barry was The Flash before, she definitely knows now," I muttered.

As always, he ignored any statement when I talked about Barry. To his credit, he was quieter than usual.

I huffed. "What did you want my advice on or whatever?"

He turned those closed off blue eyes on me. "Did I make a mistake with Thea? Not telling her about me, about what I do?"

I could feel a frown form on my lips. "Why would you think that?"

Granted he kept a lot from Thea and he was away for five years, he was still a great big brother.

He looked away. "I see how much support Barry has. And I'm happy for him, but I want..."

"More?" I caught his gaze. "I'm not enough?" I joked.

He cracked a grin. "You're more than enough."

Being that I was on the pale side, when I blushed you could clearly see it. So when his mouth raised in a knowing smirk I turned cherry red.

IRIS' POV:

There was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I peeped around the corner.

Barry stood there in black sweats and a grey shirt that fit him well.

"So are we going to talk about what happened the other day?" I asked while I twisted my hair in front of my bathroom mirror.

Barry came to stand in the doorway. "You mean when we kissed?" He rose his brow.

"What are you doing to your hair?"

"Yes and I haven't twisted my hair in a few days. If I want it to look presentable then this is the process."

He came to stand by me, his hip on the counter. "What are you putting in your hair?" He picked up the bottles. "Leave in conditioner, coconut oil, and hair grease." He grinned. "You put a lot of stuff in your hair, Flower."

Pink stained my cheeks. "You wouldn't understand."

Honestly, having Barry living here, he would have to see me with my hair like this and my scarf on. Not the most attractive look.

He took some of the conditioner and worked it into my hair and twisted it. "Am I doing it right?" He asked nervously.

My heart fluttered.

"Uh, yeah." I blinked back tears as I focused on getting this done with Barry's help.

"Your hair smells like candy." He put it to his nose and sniffed. "But does it taste like candy?"

I laughed as I rolled my eyes. "Don't do you dare eat my hair, Bear."

He chuckled. "Where's your scarf?"

I turned on the sink. "I'm not putting on my scarf in front of you." I wasn't that brave.

He took my hands in his and lathered them in soap before shoving them under the faucet. My eyes met his in the mirror. He winked at me.

"A year ago, who would've thought we'd be here." He muttered against my neck as he planted a kiss there.

A smile took over my face. "Definitely not me. I'm pretty sure I wished you dead a few times."

He turned me toward him. "Have I told you how sorry I am about that?"

I shrugged. "Not nearly enough."

"Well, I'm sorry I was a dick. I was really bad at deflecting my feelings back then. And if it's any consolation, I thought about every day. That's a long time to think about someone."

He was right. That was a long time to have someone in your mind, but not really in your life.

"I have to ask, so be honest with me." He started. "Did you kiss The Flash on the roof because you knew it was me? Did you want it to be someone else?"

I bit down on my bottom lip and sighed. "I wanted it to be you."

He looked sort of lost for words, but a moment later they came to him. "I don't want to rush this. My dad just died. I don't know how long it'll take me to move on from it. It might take a week or a month. Or a few months. And I don't want you to wait around, I don't expect you to."

"Who said I was now? I have a date tomorrow. We both agreed we're working on our friendship."

His jaw hardened as his brow rose.

"I'm kidding." I brought his arms around his shoulders. "And you can't tell me what to do. If I want to wait for you then I'll do it, Allen." My mouth went to his neck.

He groaned and it was the sexiest thing I've ever heard.

"Hold fast, hot pants. We're supposed to be working on our friendship, remember?"

"You know, whenever I want some action it's always a thing, but whenever you want you just go kissing people in costumes." I propped my hands on my hips.

He pursed his lips. "Not my best moment. That's definitely not how I wanted our first kiss to go."

My brow rose. "I thought it was pretty hot."

He blushed with a short laugh. "Thanks." He looked down like a shy schoolgirl.

I followed him into my room.

"Why does it seem like I'm always the one turning you down?"

I chuckled. "Maybe because you are."

He pulled me towards him. "You and I both know it's not that simple." He brought his forehead down to mine. "I want to do this right, Flower."

"Because you're in love with me?" I went out on a limb that he was trying to convey that at dinner earlier.

He grinned. "Yeah."

I pushed him down on the bed, my hips mounted his as I crushed our mouths together. His mouth shocked mine as he tried to back away, but I stuck to him like glue. Like the first one, this kiss brought out a feeling of clarity.

He shrugged then flipped me over on my back. I felt him harden against me. His hand went to my stomach, slowly slipping underneath my shirt. His eyes met mine as if to ask for my permission. A moment of hesitation was he needed to pull away.

"We don't have to do anything, Iris. In all honesty, we shouldn't be doing this anyway." He pulled me to his chest. "I think we should start over." He held out his hand. "I'm Barry Allen, nice to meet you."

I shook his hand. "Iris West, Badass Motherfucker."

He laughed. "You are pretty badass."

"So, are you single?"

He shook his head. "I'm very taken at the moment."

"Do you have any special talents? Anything cool that will hold my interest?"

He shrugged. "I'm pretty good at making birdhouses. What about you?"

My lips pursed. "I know The Flash. It's not a big deal, but we've gone out a few times. Secret rendez-vous and all that." I waved it off. "I shouldn't even be talking it. We like to keep things quiet."

He stared at me with that unmistakable love. "You're a goofball."

"Hey, guys." Cisco called us downstairs. "You might want to come down here." Alarm in his voice.

Barry and I shared a look as we headed for the stairs. Leonard Snart stood in the doorway.

"I need your help, kid."

WIth every session with Spencer and Toby I became stronger. They pushed me harder. My muscles ached and my eyes watered.

"Get into a headspace," Toby told me once when we were warming up. "The reason you're doing this, keep that in the front of you mind. When you want to give up, when you want to quit, use that to dig deeper."

I nodded. "What's your reason?" My eyes looked out for Spencer, but she wasn't in sight.

He gave a sad smile. "I had a not so good upbringing. My parents weren't great at being parents. They focused more on my step-sister than me." He shrugged. "I can get my frustrations out here."

"Any of those frustrations about Spencer?"

He stilled as his blue eyes met mine. "Why would you think that?"  
I gave a half smile. "I see the way you look at her when she's not looking. It's pretty adorable."

He waved it off. "We're just friends."

"Okay."

I really enjoyed working with them. They were not as scary as I once thought. Now that I was getting extremely comfortable with these moves I felt like I needed more. I needed a challenge. But being that the gym was closed at this time of night I had to get my muscles moving with a run.

As usual, I ran on autopilot. There really was no better feeling. Well, besides being around friends. Being around Barry. I wasn't sure what it was, but there wasn't as much sexual tension between us as there used to be. We were working on our friendship, he was letting me in a lot more. I could tell he was just as scared as I was that one of us would leave. It was hard to shake that fear. He smiled when he saw me, we hung out. We talked. It was nice. At one point in my life, I didn't ever think I could know so much about a person.

Whether he believed in reincarnation. Whether he wanted the last piece of pizza or if he wanted to share. Whether he thought he was a good enough of a person to get into Heaven. The things that mattered. The tiny details. I cared about him deeply, whereas before I held onto the seven year old boy. Him living with us helped a lot. On the weekends, his Aunt Jessie would come down and spend time with him. Whether he admitted it or not, I think she was growing on him.

Out of breath, I stopped near a mail dropbox. I heard a shriek from nearby. Taking my headphones out, I looked around. A muffled cry drew me forward. I peeped down the alley to find a man pressed against a woman with a knife to her throat.

"Scream again and I'll cut your fucking tongue out." He threatened.

Fear spiked through me as I walked forward. "Hey!"

They turned toward me.

"Stay out of this." He warned.

"Please," The woman begged. "Help me."

He punched her in the face. She cried out as she fell to the ground.

My fists tightened at my sides. Anger filled me. How dare he hit a woman like that. Lord only knows what he was planning to do with her.

"I suggest you keep walking, little girl." He pointed the knife at me as he picked up the woman.

"Let her go." I stood a few feet from them.

He chuckled. "Or what?"

"Let her go and I won't hurt you."

"Do you really think you could hurt me?" He swiped the knife out and sliced my chest.

I cried out and stumbled back. Get the knife away from him, my mind instructed. My hand knocked his away. I roundhouse kicked his ass a few feet back, then swiped his feet from under him. He fell to the ground. I grabbed the knife from him.

"Go!" I yelled at the girl.

The guy tried to get up. "No, that bitch owes me money."

My hand flashed out and hit him in the face. He was out cold. I slowly rose.

What do I do with him now? Call my dad? No. I'd never heard the end of it.

I reached for my phone. "I have a situation."

Five minutes later Eddie walked down the alley with worried eyes. "What the hell happened, Iris?"

I shrugged. "He was trying to hurt someone."

He took me in. "You were out running and you just heard him?"

I nodded. "I didn't know what to do after, so I just called you. My dad would've freaked."

He sighed. "Iris, what am I supposed to say in the police report? I found him in an alley and arrested him?"

"I didn't think of that. I'll just call Barry."

"Maybe we shouldn't involve, Barry. He's had a lot going on lately."

"Fine," I called Cisco. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

My eyes narrowed. "The only person we have in common. Where's Barry?"

"Oh, Barry." He gave a light laugh. "I don't know, out."

"Cisco, I need him to meet me. Now."

He huffed. "Already have your location pinged. I'll let him know where you are."

My lips pursed. "Kind of creepy."

"Not really." I hung up.

A large wind made us stumble back. The Flash stood before us.

"What happened?" He took in the body laying on the ground. He stepped forward. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "He tried to hurt someone."

His gloved hand touched the slash on my chest. "He cut you."

I winced at the stinging in my chest. "I'm fine. We just need to take care of this guy." I moved closer to Barry. "Can't you just flash him into the station or something?"

"I could," He looked around. "Where's the knife?"

The cold blade pressed to my side, tucked inside my shorts. "I don't know. Maybe the girl grabbed it when she ran." I avoided his eyes. "Please, don't tell my dad. I don't want him to freak out."

He placed his hand in my shoulder. "So you just single handedly beat him up?"

I gave him a pissed off look. He didn't know my moves.. "Is that so fucking hard to believe?"

"Yes, because you're not supposed to be out here fighting crime. This is my job."

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough as I crossed my arms. "You think I'm so weak I couldn't help someone being abused? I can take care of myself."

"And look where that got you." He pointed to the gash in my chest. "Good luck explaining that to Joe."

"I shouldn't have called you." I pushed past him. "Next time I'll leave you out of it and take care of it myself."

He flashed before me, his eyes stern. "There's not going to be a next time, Iris. You need to stay away from this. Let me handle it. Let Eddie handle it."

"You know, I didn't peg you for sexist, Barry."

He grabbed my bicep before I could get away, bringing me closer to him than I wanted to be right now. "This isn't about your ability to kick ass, Iris. This isn't the world you need to be a part of. You just graduated high school. You need to focus on college, on whatever you want. Just not this."

"Whatever." I started forward.

He pulled me back to him. "Promise me you'll stay out of it. I don't want to have to get anymore calls like this."

"Fine, I promise." I shrugged him off.

This was the price I payed for having a best friend for a superhero. He constantly worried about me. He was turning into my dad and I didn't need anymore of those.

"I'll drive you home." Eddie offered, steering me towards his car.

I slammed the door shut and huffed as I glared out the window.

The drive was fairly quiet until Eddie decided to break it.

"Barry's doing the best he can."

Whatever.

"He just wants you to be safe. We all do."

My eyes rolled. I could take care of myself.

"What's going on between you two?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Iris, there has to be som-"

"I don't know, Eddie!" I yelled, irritated as I turned to him. "I don't know. Okay?"

He turned back to the road without a word.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you."

I thanked him when he dropped me off.

The next day I made my way to a place I didn't think I'd ever be. I entered the semi empty club. A tall, thin brunette came from behind the bar.

"Hey, could I help you?"

I offered a smile. "Yeah, I'm looking for someone."

"Who?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Oliver Queen."

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think.


	22. What's Up

The song for this chapter is 4 Non Blondes - What's up

BARRY'S POV:

Leonard Smart stood in the abandoned warehouse.

"I thought you said this is the last time." He chided.

"You know you get something in return."

He smirked. "My how the tables have turned."

I sneered. "Are we going to do this or not."

He moved to the truck and slid the side door open. "Bon appetite."

I took in the rows and rows of weapons and stolen artifacts gone missing in the last month.

"You owe me, Flash." He

IRIS' POV:

"What do you want with Ollie?" The brunette asked.

I looked around the empty club. "I just wanted to talk to him."

Her arms folded across her chest. "You must be Iris."

My defenses went up. "How do you know my name?"

"Barry." She smirked like she held a secret over me.

"You know Barry?"

He hadn't mentioned any other girls when we talked about his time here.

Her head tilted to the side. "I know Barry." She grinned.

"Well," I popped my hip out. "Who are you?"

"Iris," a voice came from behind me. "What are you doing in Starling City?'

I turned to see Oliver walking out way.

I offered a smile. "I was in the neighborhood and I thought we could get lunch. Where's Felicity? I have to talk to her."

He grinned. "I am actually on my way to a business meeting in a few, but Felicity is at the office. I can drop you off on the way and after we can get lunch."

I nodded.

He looked to the girl. "Mom said to answer her calls, Speedy."

She rolled her perfect bluish green eyes. "Sure."

"Iris, this is my sister. Thea."

She held out her hand. "Nice to meet you in the flesh."

"I would say the same, but Barry's never-ending mentioned you before." I offered a meek half grin.

"Okay. Let's get going. I just have to grab my bag."

Felicity sat at her desk in the IT department. I almost didn't recognize her because of the makeover Linda gave her. Gone were the black clothes and hair, replaced by enviable blonde highlighted hair, red lipstick, and pink and white dress. She wore reading glasses instead of the contacts that bothered her anyway.

When she saw me she jumped up and screamed in joy. We ran to hug each other.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She hugged me tight.

I laughed. "I wanted to see you guys."

We pulled away and I took her in again. "You look amazing!"

She waved it off. "Linda gave me some good pointers." She looked over my shoulder at Oliver. "I thought you had a meeting at eleven thirty."

"I do. I wanted to drop Iris off first. We'll all go out to lunch after I get back."

"Okay, sure." She shrugged.

He left.

I turned back to her. "What is that about?"

"What is what?" She blushed before heading back to her desk.

"You know what. That eye sex you two just had."

She tried to cover her laugh. "There was no sex of any kind at all. At any time."

My eyes narrowed. "Did you two?"

"God, no. We haven't done anything. It's been kind of dry in that department. Please tell me that you and Barry have gotten together?"

My eyes rolled. "He's living with us. It's weird. I feel like maybe we just fell into a rhythm of siblings. At least, I think that's how he sees me now."

She gave me the biggest eye roll ever. "Pluh-ease. That boy is head over heels with you, Iris."

"Then how do you explain his behavior? He's treating me like an annoying little sister."

She pushed her glasses back. "Maybe he's just worried about you."

I sagged in the chair in front of her desk. "What do I do?"

"Have you told him how you've been feeling? Maybe he thinks everything is alright."

I mulled it over for a bit.

"You're serious about this?" Oliver asked with stern eyes as we sat in the overpriced restaurant.

I nodded. "Very."

He leaned forward. "Why?"

I leaned forward. "I've been a victim for far too long." I locked on his eyes. "I started to believe I could do more, help people. And I did and it felt amazing to know I possibly saved someone's life." I let out a sigh. "I want to do it again, but I know if I go out there unprepared I'll get my ass kicked. I'll do more harm than good. That's why I need you to teach me, like you did Barry."

Felicity pursed her lips. "Barry has super healing abilities. You don't. When things get out of hand he can run away really fast. You can't."

I bit my lip. "I've thought about that." My eyes went to Oliver's. "If you can do it so can I."

He thought about it for several long moments. "What am I supposed to tell Barry when he asks why you're bruised and battered? Why you're spending all of your time in Starting City?"

"Barry doesn't have to know."

He nodded. "He's going to find out eventually."

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes."

He didn't seem to be on board. I was actually surprised he entertained this idea this long. I looked to Felicity for help.

She gave me a look before turning back to him. "How would you feel if it were me in Iris' position? Would you turn me away?"

He turned his cold eyes to her and they warmed up. "You are not Iris. I wouldn't want you to do this either, but I couldn't stop you."

She gestured to me with a grin.

He frowned. "Let me think about it."

"I've already trained at a MMA gym for a few months. I have the basics down."

He nodded. "If we do this, you have to keep it a secret from Barry. He will try and dissuade you at all costs."

I nodded eagerly. "That's a yes?" I looked at Felicity.

She grinned at .

"Yes," he sighed. "I guess I'm in."

I jumped up and went to hug him. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

BARRY'S POV:

I waited at the top of the stairs for Iris to get home. She'd been gone all day without a word. I tried calling her but it went to voicemail. I went to see Cisco and Caitlin to ask if they heard from her. Nothing.

The door opened a few minutes later. She quietly closed the door and tip toed towards the stairs. Once she saw me she jumped.

"Barry, what are you doing?"

I shrugged. "Just waiting for you to get home. You didn't call."

She huffed. "My phone died." She started up the stairs.

"I was worried. I didn't know if something happened to you."

"Well as you can see I'm fine." She stepped past me.

I rose. "Where'd you go?"

She entered her room. "Out." She slammed the door shut.

I sighed. I knocked on the door. "Iris, we need to talk. You're still mad about last night."

She yanked the door open and poked her head out. "You think?" Sarcasm dripped from her voice.

My hands ran over my head. "Im sorry okay. I know that me living here is putting a strain on our friendship. I don't know how to fix that."

"You can stop worrying about me so much for starters."

That's what this was about? She was mad that I cared too much?

"I can't help it." A flash of disappointment filled me. How did she not get that I was scared. "I thought you understood." I pushed off the door and headed for my room.

I sat on the floor, I brought my knees to my chest. Losing both my parents was terrifying and I couldn't help but worry about everyone. Not just Iris. But mostly Iris.

Tears pricked my eyes. I missed my mom, I missed my dad more. If I had known I would never see him again, never talk to him again, I would've...I don't know what I would've done. If I could get just another minute with him, I'd take it.

My door flew open with a pissed off Iris on the other end. She really looked at me and let out a sigh before sitting in front of me. Her hands came to wipe away my tears, then she pulled my face up so I'd look at her. "What's going on with you?"

I locked onto her eyes. "I'm messed up." I pulled away from her grasp. "I'm going to move in with my Aunt."

Her eyes widened. "What? No. That's like a billion miles away."

I nodded. "Maybe that's what we need. Obviously, I'm smothering you, that's not what I want."

"But you can't just leave. People are counting on you. I'm counting on you. You've done so much good, Barry. Don't throw that away because I'm a bitch."

"It's not worth it if you and I aren't what we used to be. I don't want to put you and Joe out anymore. I need to leave."

She shook her head. "You're not leaving me." She rose to her knees and leaned forward so her mouth was on mine.


	23. Chains

Sorry, it's been awhile. My laptop is actually broken. It was touchscreen and it cracked and after a few days it stopped cutting on, so I'm holding out for financial aid to get a new laptop. Please, be patient. Thanks for the support yall!

The song for this chapter is Nick Jonas - Chains

BARRY'S POV:

"I'm telling you, Dr. Wells. I think someone like me killed my dad. Joe doesn't want to say it."

He wheeled around to face me. "Why would a metahuman your dad?"

I shrugged. "That's what we have to find out."

IRIS' POV:

I pulled away from him. "You can't leave me."

He nodded, his green eyes cut into mine. "Okay."

My mouth turned into a grin. "All it took was a kiss to convince you to stay?"

"Yeah, pretty much." He leaned up and caught my mouth with his.

My hands moved to his hair as I tugged on it. He laughed into the kiss.

"Feisty, are we?"

I nodded.

His eyes searched mine, his thumb swiped over my bottom lip. "I need to hear you say it."

My heart thumped in my chest. Fear spiked through me. "Say what?"

He picked me up and placed me on his lap. "You know what."

My eyes went to his chest, my nerves getting the best of me. "Barry, I can't." I huffed. "I'm scared." I played with his shirt to distract me. "If I say it and you leave or something bad happens, how am I supposed to deal with that?"

"I guess I deserve that. If I had told you where I was during those four months we wouldn't be in this situation now."

Now I felt guilty because he felt guilty. I shook my head. "This isn't your fault. This is about me, I promise."

Come to think of it, this was as good a time as any to bring it up.

"You never really told me specifically about your time in Starling City. What kind of people did you meet?"

"You know everybody I know. Everyone important anyway."

My mind had been on Thea the whole evening. Why didn't Barry tell me about her? Why wasn't he telling me about her now? There had to be a reason. Barry not knowing about her seemed unlikely. But what if she was away during his time there?

"You were there for four months, you didn't mean any interesting characters?"

He shrugged. "Oliver knew a lot of interesting people. Just because they were interesting doesn't mean that they were important." He rubbed my arm in comfort. "What's going on? Why are you so worried?"

I bit into my bottom lip as I dismantled his lap. "Just curious."

"Eddie," I followed him out of my house. "Please."

He slammed his car door and faced me with disappointed eyes. A stinging of betrayal filled me. "You want me to be a part of your dirty little secret, I'm not okay with that, Iris."

"Come on, it's not like that."

"It's exactly like that. You're afraid of what Joe and Barry would do. You know they wouldn't approve. So you're using me as a cover."

Well, when you put it like that.

"Look, I need to do this and there's no way they're going to see it my way. I should be able to defend and protect myself with everything that's going on."

He propped his hands on his hips. "That's not the issue, Iris, and you know it."

I took a step back and caught my reflection in his windows. The girl looking back at me was different than a few months ago, even a few weeks. She needed to feel strong and capable. She needed to help people.

"You told me you wanted to help people because The Arrow saved your life. I want to do this because The Flash saved mine. I have to do this, Eddie." I stressed. "When I saved that woman in the alley it felt really great, like I'd made a difference."

His eyes softened. "So you join the police force, become a firefighter, or a lawyer. Not a vigilante." He whispered angrily.

"Tell me if you had the chance to do this you wouldn't?"

He shook his head. "I'm perfectly happy with my career as a detective. I don't need to dress up in costumes and be heroic to help people."

My eyes went back to my reflection in the car window. "Well, I do."

After a moment he huffed. "If I even think for a second you're in real danger I will not hesitate to tell Joe and Barry."

I grinned as I went in for a hug. "Thank you, Eddie. I couldn't do this without you."

"I shouldn't be surprised. You'd fight for Barry, but you couldn't fight for us."

I pulled away, my forehead creased. "Excuse me?"

His eyes worried. "What?"

"You just said something."

He pursed his lips. "No, I didn't."

I know what I heard. "Yeah, you did."

"Iris, you need some sleep if you're hearing voices."

Confusion spiked through me. This had happened before, when we broke up. At Thanksgiving I felt a wave of unrequited love when I looked at Cisco, Felicity and Barry. No. Eddie was right. I needed some rest, but rest was going to have to wait because I had a training session with Oliver in an hour and I needed to head over there now if I was going to make it.

"I have to get going."

"Wait," He called. "Be careful."

I nodded. "Always."

The next day I was sore beyond belief, but I had to get out of bed. Christmas was in a few days and that meant less training sessions, not exactly what I needed. Oliver trained me in the day. That night Spencer and Toby were already waiting for me at the gym. I couldn't wait to try out some of the moves Oliver taught me. I was still new to them, but I practiced practically the whole night.I got a text just as I neared the gym.

Spencer Hastings: Change of plans. Meet us behind the gym.

My brows knitted together as I headed back there.

They were standing around with a group of people, everyone watching the fight in the makeshift ring. A blonde haired girl push kicked a big burly bald guy a few feet back. He stumbled, but corrected himself. She right hooked him, then whipped around and kicked him in the face, producing a bloody nose. She grinned like a shark as he composed himself. He threw some fake punches to throw her off, then swiped her feet from under her, knocking her to the hard ground. She kicked her legs up and jumped to her feet. He kicked her side, but she caught his foot and jumped in the air, both her feet landed on his chest. They fell to the ground. The guy had her in a body hold and there seemed no way out until she wiggled free and elbowed him in the face. He was out cold.

A person in a black hood stepped forward. I noticed both Toby and Spencer recoiled. Once the hood came down they relaxed. A black guy stood in front of us with a smirk on his lips.

"Round one over." He held up the girl's arm. "Goes to Spivot." He seemed happy to say it.

That's how we spent the next hour give or take. Each of us going in the ring. Well, not me. I wasn't ready. We all knew it.

When we were done I asked Toby about Spivot. She won in her category. How long had she been into this?

"She's not anyone important." His voice hard.

My brow rose. "You sure?"

Spencer did something uncharacteristic and leaned into Toby as if for support while Spivot approached us. She took down her bun and let the blonde curls fan across her shoulders.

"That's what winning feels like." She smirked at Spencer. "Now that you'll never know." She shot a look at Toby.

My eyes went to Spencer, waiting for the insult that never came. She just looked focused on something in the background.

"Hey, bitch. Leave my friends alone." I glared at her.

Her eyes shot to me. After she took me in she seemed amused. "Coming from the girl who wasn't woman enough to fight this evening." She got way too close in my personal bubble. "Not intimidated in the slightest." She sauntered off like she was hot shit.

I turned to Spencer and Toby. "Okay, what's her problem?"

Toby sighed. "She's bitter." He hugged Spencer to him. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Let's get out of here."

I sighed of relief. After Oliver's training, I was glad for the break. Did I need it? No. But I wanted it.

"So, pizza?" I asked.

Spencer looked at me and laughed before untangling from Toby. "I'm in."

We all ended up at my house an hour later after showers and whatnot.

"Your house is nice, Iris." Toby remarked.

"Yeah." Spencer agreed.

I grinned. "Thanks."

Toby sat the pizza down at the living room table. "I'll get drinks."

Spencer flopped down on the couch, her eyes empty.

"You okay?"

She stayed silent.

"Spencer?" I crouched in front of her.

She met my eyes. "Huh?"

"What's going on with you?"

She shook her head. "Nothing." Her coffee brown eyes glazed over. "I'm fine." She offered a weak smile.

I wasn't convinced. Something was going on with her. I'd never seen her shy or cower away from something, then again I only saw them when they were in beast mode.

"You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you. You can talk to Toby." I kept my voice low in case she didn't want him to know something was bothering her.

"I told you I'm fine." Her voice offensive.

I nodded. I backed off.

"Okay," Toby entered the room with cups and soda. "What's the movie on the menu?"

I handed him the remote.

Halfway through Insurgent, Spencer shot up and ran for the stairs. I started to rise, but Toby stood. "I'll get her."

I sat back with a sigh. Curious, I pulled out my phone to see my dad had called. I quickly texted him that I was out running and I had a few friends over. He called me right away.

"Honey, I need you to look in the top drawer in the kitchen by the fridge. There's a manilla envelope with NA written on it. Barry's going to stop by and get it from you."

"Okay," I grabbed it. "Got it. Anything else?"

He coughed. "Yeah, how long are Caitlin and Ronnie staying tonight? Do you need money for food? I'll give it to Barry when he swings by here."

My dad didn't know about the MMA gym or Toby and Spencer. For some reason, I hadn't even thought he'd assume my friends were Caitlin and Ronnie. I couldn't tell him otherwise without exposing that I had a membership at The Park's MMA gym, which reminded me that I needed to ask Linda not to say anything. My eyes narrowed. Cisco. I had to get to Cisco. There was no doubt in my mind that she had told him by now.

"Iris?" My dad asked.

"Oh, we're fine. Already ate pizza. Thanks anyway."

"Alright, I have to go. You should to talk to Barry. He seems to be a little down today. Love you, sweetie."

I nodded. "Love you, too." I hung up.

I was about to go check on Spencer when Toby appeared at the top of the steps.

"She needs a moment."

He looked all kinds of lost, like he there wasn't anything I could do.

My hand landed on his shoulder. "I think she's going to be okay." I squeezed.

"Yeah, she will."

"Is there anything I could do to help?"

He shook his head. "It's sort of private. No offense."

I nodded. "None taken. I get it. You guys don't really know me all that well."

It felt weird saying that, but it was the truth. The only time I spent with them were at the gym. Hopefully, that would change.

"Don't get me wrong," He started. "You're really nice and everything. It's just there's things going on with Spencer that her family doesn't even know about. If she feels comfortable telling you, then she will."

A half grin found my lips.

The front door opened and in walked Barry. I removed my from Toby's shoulder quickly.

"Hey," I grabbed the envelope off of the coffee table and handed it to Barry.

He took it, his eyes not leaving Toby. "Who are you?"

I stood in front of Barry, catching his eyes. "A friend. What's in the envelope?"

He finally looked down at me, his eyes a suspicious green as he pulled me aside. "Should I be worried?"

"Of Toby?" I grinned. "No, he's really just a friend. Don't avoid the question. What's in the envelope?"

"Stuff about my mom."

My brow knitted together. "I don't understand. The police ruled it a suicide."

He nodded. "Joe and I are going over my dad's case. The metahuman responsible, maybe he was responsible for my mom."a

My eyes saddened. "Barry, I know you want answers, but I don't think this is the best idea. Opening up this can of worms will only cause you more heartache."

He shook his head. "I need to do this. What if this guy hurts someone else?"

I shrugged. "Your job isn't to protect the whole world, Barry." I whispered. "You don't have to figure out every crime."

"Iris, I really need your support on this."

"I'm sorry, Bear. This just doesn't seem like a very good idea."

He nodded and headed for the door.

With a groan, I went after him.

"Wait," I ran down the driveway and grabbed his arm. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up. What if the answer you find is worse. You've already been through so much. I can't help but feel like this isn't going to do anything but hinder you."

He shrugged my arm off. "Got it."

"Barry," I said in vain.

LINDA'S POV:

Flashback

"How long is your practice going to take?" I asked Barry, his arms around me.

"A few hours. Don't worry," He kissed my temple. "I'll make it to your house for dinner. I don't know what you're so worried about. Your parents love me."

I nodded. "But they haven't seen us as a couple yet. My stepdad will be more...you know. Asian."

His laughing body shook mine. "You're parents are more American than me and my dad. They just bought a MMA gym."

I chuckled. "You haven't seen them when they get all parental. It's scary."

"You two got a date tonight or what?"

I hesitantly looked up to meet Drew's intrusive eyes.

The kiss had been a mistake. A fun and hot mistake. But a mistake nonetheless. It wouldn't happen again. I told him as much and now I couldn't help but feel he had it out for Barry and I. A few times I've caught him giving Barry the stink eye with Barry none the wiser.

My arms wrapped around Barry's. "Yeah, we are."

Drew nodded. "Nice. Where are you going?"

"Actually, we're having dinner-" Barry started.

I turned to meet Barry's eyes. "We don't have to share the details." I gave him a quick peck.

"Oh, look. There's little miss chocolate bunny probably walking to the library now." James pointed out. He punched Drew's arm playfully as they grinned.

My eyes focused on her. Her long straight black hair was pulled back in a french braid. She wore shorts and a green top. Barry stiffened under me as he refused to look in her direction.

"Why'd you stop hanging around her again, Allen?" Drew asked. "She's hot."

No one payed attention to the hurt in his eyes or his clenched jaw. He was still upset with her. It was the basis of our friendship.

"Why don't we stop talking about the bitch," I demanded.

I didn't think Iris was unpleasant in the slightest, but a part of me would always be jealous that Barry could never truly get over her.

"Hey, Cisco." Barry greeted.

I turned to see Cisco walking past us.

Tension filled the air whenever we were around each other in the past week. Luckily, no one picked up on it, but us. Barry didn't seem to think too much of it, not that he was paying attention.

Cisco looked at me for a moment too long before asking Barry. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, what's up?"

He shuffled awkwardly. "It's kind of private."

Panic set in. He was scared yesterday, so what happened to make him change his mind about going back on his word? Was he going to out me in front of everyone? Did he really hate me that much?

Barry started to shuffle, "Sure."

"Allen." A voice called.

We turned to see Coach walking our way.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked.

I sighed in relief.

The other players started to rise.

"Uh, to practice, Coach."

I stood. "Yeah, he's just on his way." I squeezed Barry's shoulders.

"Well, quit pansying around and get to the field." Coach stalked away.

Barry looked to Cisco. "Later?"

Cisco nodded. "Yeah, don't worry about it."

Barry ran after his teammates, which left Cisco and I together. He tried to walk away, but I pulled him back. "What's your deal? I thought we had this settled."

He shrugged me off. "I changed my mind."

"How? I thought you didn't want Barry getting hurt?"

He gave me a disappointed look. "Turns out I care more about what Barry thinks of me than you."

My eyes flared. "So you're just going to throw me under the bus?"

He nodded. "Precisely."

I took a step closer than either of us wanted me to be. "Let's not forget about the eighth grade. I won't hesitate to spill those beans. Then it won't matter if you tell Barry about me, he'll never look at you the same way again."

The color drained from his face. "You wouldn't."

"Yes, I would."

Not proud of this behavior, but I didn't want to lose Barry. I wasn't strong enough to handle that loss. Sad, but true.

IRIS' POV:

I was shoved back into the brick wall with a grunt. My fist swiped out and uppercut the girl, but she vanished. I looked around. Where had she gone that fast? Was she like Barry?

A foot hit my back, knocked me to the ground. I flipped over in time to stop her from stomping my chest. I shoved her foot back with enough force to make her stumble. I quickly jumped up and went for her. My leg kicking out, aimed for her stomach, but then she wasn't there again. I turned around frustrated. Maybe that was more so because of her bomb curls, mine were looking a little limp the last few days. I had to do a twist out when I got home. Awesome.

"You tired of getting your ass kicked?" She gloated from a few feet away.

I shook my head. "Not by a long shot. Or you could just give the money back to the little old lady you stole it from."

She grinned. "You gotta catch me first." She disappeared and appeared before me, a sharp object flashed to my stomach. She laughed. "Peek-A-Boo." She pulled the knife out.

I clutched the knife to my stomach. Blood pooled in my mouth as my knees weakened. The girl was nowhere in sight. I had to get somewhere. The hospital was out of question. My dad would show up and I'd be grounded until Stiles and Lydia get together. We all know that would be a long time. With determination, I stumbled forward. The pain was too much and I couldn't support my weight anymore. The cold hard ground was my bed.

A face appeared above mine, but everything was blurry. All I could make out was bleach blonde hair, red lipstick, and a black mask. She pulled me forward and that was the last thing I saw.


	24. Season 1 Blooper Reel

Hey yall. Sorry about chapter 23 being the same as chapter 5, I fixed it lol. Anyway, here's the blooper reel for season 1 /2015/07/31/check-blooper-reel-the-flash/


	25. Turning Back Around

So there was confusion about Linda's pov last chapter I forgot to write flashback I went and added it. Sorry about that. For future reference, if something isn't adding up in the story and there are plot lines that I've written in flashbacks that coincide with the current plot then it's a flashback. I try to remember that I have to put it in there but this time I forgot. Apologies for the confusion.

Also, I love getting support and reviews of any kind, but if you're always negative then I'd rather you try a different approach to reviewing authors works. Plus, I'm always open to suggestions. Thanks.

The song for this chapter is Rhodes - Turning Back Around. The best version is the Mahogany Sessions version.

IRIS' POV:

"I didn't know where else to bring her," A feminine voice whispered as I stirred awake.

The immediate pain in my stomach came to attention. I cried out in pain.

"She's awake," A familiar voice sounded.

I attempted to turn over, but hands pinned me down.

"Not so fast."

Oliver came into view.

"You were stabbed. I stitched you up."

"What's going on?" My eyes roamed around. "Where are am I?"

I saw a blonde girl in a black leather outfit and Felicity. They looked as worried as I felt.

He sat down on the table I was on. His arrow costume on, but the mask off. "You were stabbed, Iris."

The events played played back in my mind. The black girl that kept vanishing. She kicked my ass. The bitch stabbed me, she actually stabbed me.

"Fuck me." I groaned.

Barry's going to kill me if my dad doesn't kill me first.

"What were you thinking?" Oliver demanded. "I told you I would train you. We would go out there together when I thought you were ready. You've only just scratched the surface."

I shook my head. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine. You could've died tonight!"

My eyes widened at the sudden outburst. I didn't know Oliver very well, but he seemed like the type to stay stoic. I didn't expect him to yell at me.

"I'm not a child. I don't have to sit around and do nothing."

He nodded. "You're right. Even so, you weren't ready. And if the Black Canary wasn't there to find you, you would've bled out on the street and no one would've known that you were trying to help people. You would've been dead. And Barry would blame me and I would have to live with that."

Felicity stepped forward, her eyes red. "What I think Oliver is trying to say is we all care about you and we understand why you're doing this, but you can't jump in half cocked. You're only going to get hurt." She grabbed my hand and squeezed tight. "The world would be a little less exciting without Iris West."

A sad smile formed on my lips as guilt filled me. "I'll be more careful." I groaned. "How long have I been here?"

"Like two hours. Your phone kept ringing so I called Caitlin and told her to cover for you and sent your dad and Barry texts saying you were spending the night with her. You're welcome and yes, I am awesome." She gave a sad half grin and hugged me.

I blinked back the tears.

Lately, it seemed that all I did was let down my friends. I didn't want to let anyone down, that's why I wanted to do this so badly. Oh, the stupid irony.

"We haven't officially met," The dominatrix behind us voiced with her arms across her chest. "Black Canary. I saved your life."

I gave a nod. "Thanks. I would be dead if it weren't for you."

"No, you'd be dead if it weren't for Oliver. I don't know anything about medicine besides prescription."

Felicity's eyes widened as I felt Oliver stiffen. I sensed a lot of complication in the room. Old and new feelings. Love, lust, hatred, longing. Companionship. Trust.

"Tough crowd." She joked.

They relaxed.

"I just didn't find your previous drug addiction particularly laughable." Felicity turned to her.

Black canary pursed her red lips, walking towards us. "Forgive me, I seem to not have any tact."

Oliver cleared his throat. "The point is, if we're going to move forward we need to all be on the same page. No more kamikaze missions. You wait until I say you're ready or I pull the plug. Okay?"

I nodded. "In my defense, I didn't know she had a knife. And she was a metahuman. She could disappear, but I don't think she was running. More like she vanished and appeared somewhere else."

Felicity's face frowned up. "You mean like teleportation?"

"Sort of, I guess."

Oliver looked at Felicity. "She must've been affected by the explosion." He stood then held his hand out for me. "Let's get you in a bed."

I bit back a groan as I wiggled off the table. My legs buckled, but Oliver caught me before I could hit the floor. "Easy,"

He pulled me along. "Felicity, can you help me take her to the house?"

"Sure,"

We reached the stairs.

"Thanks for helping me." I called out the Black Canary.

"My pleasure."

The drive to the house was quick. Although, I wasn't expecting a ring of security that surrounded it. This place was beyond amazing. Glass floor to ceiling walls. Fireplace. White furniture. I was afraid to touch anything.

"Is this where Barry stayed when he was here?" I asked Oliver.

He nodded. "Felicity will show you to your room."

We walked up some stairs, which was really painful on my end. When we rounded the corner I was glad to see she opened the first door on the right.

"There's a change of clothes in the drawers."

I entered the room, it was nice and comfortable. A few books and lamps. A tv. I went to dresser, pulled the first drawer open and got out a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt. These were much too big for me. Men's clothes. I looked to the top of the dresser, not expecting to see pictures of me and my dad with Barry. My eyes carefully scanned the rest of the room and I found a close up picture of the two of us smiling.

My heart tugged. He kept pieces of us with him. I made a face. The way I phrased that sounded really kind of creepy. But still, this was pretty sweet.

"This is his room?" I turned to look at her.

She grinned. "Yeah. And you thought I was kidding when I said you were all he talked about."

I pulled the clothes to my chest, clothes he's worn.

She patted my shoulder. "I'll give you some privacy. Don't be afraid to holler if you need something."

FELICITY'S POV:

After a shower I rounded the corner to the kitchen. I didn't expect Oliver's hard chest to stop into my way. Naked chest.

"Fuck." I ogled at him.

Rippled abs, tan skin over taunt muscles. He was a vision and I was still staring at him like he was a piece of prime rib.

My eyes awkwardly drifted up to his. "Hey, what brings you to the kitchen?"

Food. Obviously.

Nerves filled me. "I took classes at MIT." I said, needing to remind him that he chose me to help him out with all of this for a reason.

He gave a half smile. More like a quarter of a smile. "I thought you'd be with Iris."

I side stepped him and aimed for the fridge. "I kind of needed a shower. All that sweat and dirt made me feel, well dirty."

"You don't say."

I pulled out a box of pad thai. "Are you trying to be funny?" I grabbed a fork and dug in.

He sat next to me with his water. "I don't know. I'm not very good at it."

I nodded with a grin. "You're not. But who needs to laugh when you look like that?"

He looked down and I swear I could see a faint pink. I made him blush? Score!

"You know, with everything going on, I realized I never really said thank you." He met my eyes. "You took a shot on me and hoped for the best. If you hadn't, I could've either been on the streets or dead." My eyes stung as I fought the tears. "You're a stand up guy, despite what the media tells people to believe. You're a hero, Oliver. I'm grateful this city has you."

"Thank you."

He stared at me for so long that I wasn't sure if he'd gone catatonic.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"No. You just look really beautiful without all the makeup."

Oh.

My whole body heated up. "Thanks."

Of course my contacts picked that moment to do something wonky. I blinked my eyes rapidly. I tried to take it out, but it wouldn't work with me.

"Ow."

Oliver's hand grabbed my face. "Here, let me get it." He was in and out in a few seconds. He handed it to me.

"Wow, you're fast."

His brow lifted.

My lips pursed. "Um," I didn't know what to say.

He stared at me, his roamed my body and I was really glad I had on a bra, because headlights. Hello.

Our eyes locked and for a moment I thought he maybe might lean down and sweep me into his strong arms and I'd wrap my legs around his waist and he'd lead us to his bedroom.

"Ollie?"

Fantasy ruined.

Thea came around the corner. "Hey, I need to talk to you."

"Now?" I asked.

They gave me a look.

"Oh, I'll just take my pad thai upstairs while I check on Iris." I scurried up the steps, mortified.

BARRY'S POV:

With a frustrated sigh I sat on the grass. After my dad died, I didn't think I'd be back here ever again. Now here I was with my elbows on my knees, looking at my parents headstones. I didn't know what to say or do. I survived and they hadn't. Why? Was my life so much more important than theirs? There were things that I'm supposed to do, I get that. But doing it without my parents seemed damn near impossible. Half the time I felt fortunate and the other half ungrateful. I had this amazing relationship with Joe and my friends and everyone in Central City and here I was complaining that my parents didn't technically love me anymore. They couldn't love anyone. They were dead.

Their printed names kept staring at me, demanding what I wanted.

"I need something from you," I started. "I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what's going to happen and I need someone to tell me how everything ends up. If I get a happily ever after. If I get Iris."

Of course no one answered because I was sitting in grave site.

"Things are okay right now. They could be worse. Iris could hate me. Instead, she's too worried about me." I scratched the back of my head. "Funny how a few months ago that would've been laughable." My eyes focused on my dad's name. Tears clouded my eyes, I coughed the tickle from my throat. "I need your advice. You knew perfectly how complicated our situation was. Now I'm living there and it's different somehow. I don't know if I want to be with her the way I used to." I shook my head. "I mean, I do. I just, want everything to be perfect. But it's never going to be perfect. There's always going to be something wrong, something dangerous. It's never going to be the right time. She's special. She's extraordinary and I can't believe she's stuck by me this long, especially when I was awful to her. I don't deserve her. She's waiting around for me to be ready. I'm never going to be ready. Yet, I can't let her go." I scoffed. "It's selfish and I'm a pig. I don't want to be with her, but I don't want her to be with anyone else."

I looked to my mom's grave. "I think I need a woman's opinion, mom."

Silence surrounded me and I let my mind wander to the memories I had of her. The times she tucked me into bed, gave me a pep talk about bullies, made food for my play dates with Iris. She was a good mom and I took her for granted, like I did my dad.

Her screaming flashed in my mind. My eyes shot open. The night she died. I closed my eyes again and tried to conjure up the images again and freeze them in my memory. A zip of yellow kept coming to mind. I didn't know what it meant. It didn't really mean anything. At least, not yet.

Barry stops by to see Cisco, him and Linda are in the middle of doing activities. Awkward.

After saying goodbye to my parents, I made my way to Cisco's. Perhaps some brotherIy advice would give me the jumpstart to do whatever it is I needed to do. I knocked on the back door, knowing that he was down here geeking out. With no answer I knocked again.

"Cisco, open up."

I heard a giggle, instantly recognizing it. I turned and headed for my truck.

The door opened and Cisco peeked out. "Barry,"

"Hey, I just wanted to talk. I can come back tomorrow." I waved goodbye.

"Barry, it's okay. You can come in."

I neared him. "Are you sure? You seemed a little busy."

He flushed. "Give us a minute." He held up his finger, then closed the door.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the two of them. Who would've thought my best friend and my ex girlfriend would be dating. I think that's what they were doing anyway.

Cisco opened the door again and I didn't realize how awkward it would be that I was in this situation. Sure, I was happy for them. I didn't want it to be weird, but it was. Linda sat on the couch with a nonchalant grin and I laughed.

"Hey," I sat beside her.

Cisco sat on the other side of me. "What's up, man?"

"I just wanted to come by. If I had known I was interrupting something I would've called."

Not going to lie, it did feel weird to say that.

"No, you're fine." Linda waved off.

Cisco gave her a look. "Speak for yourself."

She chuckled.

"So, how are things?" I looked between them.

"Good." They said simultaneously with nods.

I nodded. "Good."

I stared forward. This was definitely more awkward than I would've imagined.

Reaching for something to talk about, I asked, "How's the gym doing?"

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She met my eyes. "Iris seems to like it. She's there enough."

My forehead creased. "She's a member there?"

She nodded. "Have been for about a month. She's pretty strong, hanging around with Toby and Spencer a lot. She seems to like it."

I wondered why she wouldn't tell me, but I had to remind myself that we lived together and we were entitled to a few secrets.

"I'm glad she's learning how to protect herself. That's important."

IRIS' POV:

The incessant buzzing of my phone woke me up.

My hand searched for it under the pillow and under the sheets until I found it. "Hello?"

"Iris, where are you?" Caitlin asked, worry in her voice. "You need to get to the hospital."

I shot up in the bed. "What? Why? What happened? Is everyone okay?" I jumped out of bed. "How's Barry?"

Please, don't be Barry. Don't be Barry.

"Iris, it's your dad. He's been in an accident."

I rushed for the door, only to notice that when I got to the top of the steps that my stomach didn't send any pain triggers to my brain. Nothing hurt. My hands went to lift my shirt with no sign of a single stitch. What's happening to me?


	26. Wonder

The song for this chapter is Lauren Aquilina - Wonder

I wanted to start this chapter off by saying I continue to be grateful for every comment I receive and although not every comment is roses and peaches - and I don't expect them to be - I don't appreciate rude ones. If you don't like my fic that's perfectly fine with me. If you don't like that Iris isn't the same as the she is on the show because I made her physically stronger and more independent then stop reading this fic and go to the other ones where Iris is just a placeholder for Barry to win and love. I don't have anything against other westallen fics, but I purposefully made this one an AU (alternate universe) because I wanted the characters to be different than the show. If you don't like how I write my characters that's fine by me. If you think I write too many other pov's that's fine. That's how I write all my fics, with other character pov's. Simply because it makes for a more interesting story. In tv show's there's usually more than one pov's. Following around two characters just gets boring, in my opinion. Also, I want to be a screenwriter for tv shows so that's another reason I had other character to my fics and give them pov's. What I'm trying to say is, this is what I'm telling yall what my fic is about and if you don't feel that you're any longer interested it then I won't be offended. I just ask people not to leave rude comments. You can tell me you don't like it and I won't be offended, but if you phrase it rudely then that's when I get upset. I don't have a laptop at the moment, so it's hard for me to keep up with this, but I'll try my best. Thanks for reading :)

BARRY'S POV:

I sighed as Eddie walked towards me. "Joe's still being taken care of. He's fine. Just a scratch."

My head shook. "It's my fault. I should've been there." I put a few feet between us as I walked back and forth.

"It's not your fault, Barry. You can't control everything, save everybody. It doesn't work that way."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't change the fact that I should've been there, patrolling with you guys. This wouldn't have happened."

He neared me. "Joe was shot in his shoulder. It's not the end of the world. He'll live. Stop beating yourself up about it." He patted my shoulder.

Angrily, I shoved him back. "You don't know Joe and you don't know me. It's none of your business what I do."

"Hey, what is going on here?"

I looked up to see Iris running our way. "Nothing."

She put some space between Eddie and I, her hands on my chest. "What happened with my dad?"

I nodded towards Eddie. "Ask him, he's supposed to be his new partner."

He scowled. "Don't turn this on me. Joe's been doing this long before I came along. He can handle himself."

"So you admit you're useless?"

I knew I was being an ass to Eddie, he didn't deserve it, but I was angry.

She turned to him. "Someone just tell me if he's okay!"

Caitlin and Ronnie crowded around us.

I huffed. "He's okay. He was shot in the shoulder. He's in surgery right now."

She sighed in relief, her forehead rested on my chest. My hand went to the small of her back in comfort.

"I'm going to get coffee. Anybody want any?"

"I do," Iris pulled away and went along with Eddie.

Her absence left me feeling cold. Jealousy sprouted. They'd been spending more time together lately and I didn't think it was a problem, but he'd been there while I was gone. When she kissed me the other day I thought that it meant more. Now I wasn't so sure.

Caitlin wrapped her arms around me. "Barry, he'll be okay."

I nodded.

IRIS' POV:

When we were out of sight I pushed Eddie into the wall.

He looked surprised and a little scared. "What are you doing?"

"What did you tell him?"

"Who?"

My eyes flared. "Barry," I whispered. "Did you tell him what I've been doing?"

He shoved me off. "No, I haven't said anything. Did you just come along to interrogate me and push me into walls? Did you even want coffee?"

I gave him a look. "I'm sorry, but I can't have Barry finding out about me."

"So you attack your only alibi?" Disbelief colored his face.

I shrugged. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Maybe that's a sign you should stop this. Go about it the legal way."

Needing to get away from this conversation, I started down the hall.

"So you're just going to ignore me now? I don't know who this person is that you're turning into, but I don't like her."

My jaw hardened at the verbal slap. I turned to him, my eyes cold. "Maybe that's because you never really knew me, Eddie. I never really let you in. Not like I did Barry and that's got to eat at you. You still have feelings for me, that's why you stuck around. You could've transferred." I stepped in front of him. "But you stayed to be close to me. So how does it feel to know the girl you're in love with is into someone else?"

His mouth frowned up as he tore his gaze away with a stern nod. "You can find your own coffee." He pushed past me.

I glared in his direction as he walked away.

After a few moments disappointment replaced satisfaction. I shouldn't have said those things. But instead of going to apologize I turned around to find Barry. He stared at me with hard eyes.

"Barry, how much of that did you hear?" I took a cautionary step forward.

His eyes disappointed. "I heard enough." He took a few steps back until he was walking away.

Angry tears stung my eyes. My hand flashed out and punched the wall and went straight through. A few people scrambled away. I pulled my fist away from the wall in shock. I looked around nervously then scurried away.

Maybe I didn't need any coffee. Maybe just some water. And of course the stupid vending machine ate my money. I banged on the plastic window. "Come on."

The lights flickered above me.

My brow furrowed as I went back to beating up the vending machine. "Give me what I want," I whined.

The lights flickered again until I was surrounded by darkness.

"What's going on?" I thought out loud.

The water forgotten, I stumbled in the darkness until my eyes adjusted.

What if my dad was in some deep surgery and the doctors couldn't see and they cut him all open? Or what if he's fine and stuck in the elevator and he dies before the power comes back on? Or...I don't know!

"Barry," I whispered. I don't know why I was whispering, but it felt like a whisper atmosphere right now.

The creeps ran through me all I could hear were feet shuffling and monitors beeping. I broke into a sprint. I'd only gone so far until I was thrown into the air, I fell to the ground with a thud. I snapped my head up only to see a dark shape a few feet away. Months ago I would've cowered in the corner, I would've been too scared to do anything. Now I was excited to get in the action.

I popped up. I hadn't much thought about earlier. Whether it was a fluke or what, I wasn't sure, but I had to fight this guy. Or at least help defend the hospital against whoever he was.

He punched me in the stomach. He kicked my thigh and went for my throat, cutting off my air supply as he held me in the air. I struggled for air, making it hard to move my muscles. Quickly, I kicked my feet out, hitting his chest. His grip fell as he stumbled back. I sucked in air before grabbing his outfit in my fists.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" I demanded.

He smirked then knocked my hands away and flipped me on my back. He stabbed me in the side with something then legit disappeared into the darkness.

I scrambled to my feet, checking my body for a stab wound, but found none. How fast was this all of a sudden healing process? This was proof that I wasn't crazy. Last night I went to bed with a stomach wound and this morning I'm all better. What the fuck?

The lights flickered back on after a moment. Everyone seemed disoriented. Despite there being no wound, my side throbbed. With a sigh, I rounded the corner.

Barry headed my way with an intent scowl. When he saw me he stopped. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I glanced behind me. "Some-" I clamped my mouth shut. The last thing he needed was to worry about me any more than usual.

"What?" He stayed a few feet back.

"Uh, I thought I saw something, but it was nothing." I gave a hopefully convincing half grin. "About earlier," My eyes searched his. "I didn't want you to find out like that."

He shook his head. "You mean, you didn't want me to find out at all."

I neared him. "That's not it..." Our eyes met and I sighed. "You're right. I didn't want you to know at all."

He turned away and started down the hall.

I pulled him back. "I knew you would try and stop me."

He shook my arm off and took a few steps back. "I knew that you were training at the gym, I supported that. What I don't support is you going behind my back and trying to fight crime like you're some kind of vigilante. You're not prepared for that. You could've seriously gotten hurt, Iris."

I didn't want to out Oliver because he made me promise not to tell Barry, but I have a feeling Barry would find out regardless. He wasn't finding out from me today though. And it wasn't like I could tell him I was spontaneously healing. Who would believe that? Okay, maybe he would. But for all I know it could be a fluke or I could be losing my mind.

His distraught face came into view. "If you had come to me about this I would've supported you."

Anger flashed through me. "Bullshit and you know it. You would've done everything in your power to stop me. Why? Because I'm a girl?!"

"Because I'm in love with you, Iris! When are you going to get that into your thick head?" He lowered his voice. "I'm in love with you and I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want to see you fall down or cry or kill someone because you have to in self-defense. I just can't. And the fact that you don't get that is-"

My finger mushed his mouth. "Shut up for a second. I know that you're in love with me. I don't doubt it. Every time you look at me I can feel it, I feel it so deep in my bones that it scares me because I never thought anyone would feel that way about me, or that I would feel the same way."

His green eyes glazed over.

I removed my finger and let my hand slid down to his. "You made me love you, you didn't even give me a choice. You're in my bones, too." I bit my lip nervously. "I'm in love with you, I can't stand to have you hate me right now. I need your support on this, Bear."

After a moment, he said, "You can understand why I can't support this. Your words: this doesn't seem like a good idea."

I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass.

My eyes rolled. "That was different."

He gave me a look. "How so?"

"I don't know, it just was." I scratched my side, the pain now replaced with an itch. My eyes stayed on his. "Please, don't tell my dad, Barry."

He shook his head. "How can you ask me that? How am I supposed to keep something like this from him when I don't agree with it?"

I took a nervous step forward. "Because you want what's best for me. You know with enough training I could make a difference out there."

He still looked skeptical.

"Please, Bear. We can do this together. Just give me some time. I promise you, I won't go back out there. I'll wait." My eyes begged his.

With a clenched jaw, he nodded once. "Give me some time to think about it."

A small relieved grin found my lips as I wrapped him a hug. "Thank you."

"I'm still upset with you." He pulled me closer.

I nodded. "I know."

Technically, I was still mad at him about the Thea thing and, well, that was it.

BARRY'S POV:

My phone rang while we waited.

I looked to Iris, "I'll be back in a few."

She nodded, then turned to Caitlin, Cisco, Linda, and Ronnie.

I raced outside to find Oliver and Felicity deep in conversation. Only Felicity wasn't Felicity. All I could do was stare at her. So I guess the makeover Linda and Iris forced upon her stuck.

"Hey," I grinned awkwardly. My eyes wouldn't look away from her legs in those skin tight blue jeans.

"Eyes up here, nerd." She laughed.  
My head shook. "Sorry, you look very appealing."

She chuckled and Oliver gave me the stink eye.

"Yes, she does. Can we move on now?"

I held my hands up in caution. "Yeah." I offered an apologetic grin.

Oliver rolled his eyes, but I knew he wasn't really upset at me. "We'll be in town for a few days. Merlyn spotted a league member in town and Palmer Technologies wants to talk business. I'll help you keep an eye on things."

I nodded. "Okay, thanks."

If there was a league member in town then they wanted blood, right? Now was not the time to have Iris out in the streets. She promised me that she'd wait, but I wasn't so sure I could trust her about that.

"We're only a phone call away." Felicity added with a half grin. She moved to hug me, but I side stepped her. "Probably best not to touch."

Oliver's jaw hardened. "Barry, we'll call you. Give Joe my regards." He pulled Felicity along as they headed down the street.

"Bye, Barry." Felicity waved.

When I returned everyone was inside the room, Joe sat on the bed looking like death. I could feel the sadness in the room.

"Hey, Joe," I greeted as I came to stand next to Cisco and Linda. Caitlin and Ronnie stood a few feet back. They didn't know Joe as well.

I could see that there was something wrong with him, but no one said anything. He gave his best smirk.

"How you feeling?" My hand grabbed his as I leaned down to give him a hug.

"Never better."

I nodded. "So the surgery went as planned. When can you go home?"

The sadness in the room intensified. I looked around and everyone then back at Joe.

He cleared his throat. "They want to keep me another day or two. Make sure I'm okay." He looked out to the hall, not meeting my eyes. "Enough about me. How are you guys?"

"Are you going to be out of here by Christmas?" I asked.

"I don't know."

My forehead creased. "Why don't you know?" My voice rose.

"Barry," Iris warned.

My eyes wouldn't meet hers. "What?" All the anger and mistrust I had earlier manifested again.

"Getting mad won't change anything."

"I should've been there."

Joe shook his head. "Come on, now. This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known." He mirrored what Eddie had said earlier.

My eyes met his. "I should've been there."

Cisco squeezed my shoulder.

"What happens next time? You die. I can't protect you all the time, I know that. But you're all that I have left. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I realized I was talking to both Joe and Iris in that moment and I'd never been more scared. My jaw clenched as I hesitantly looked at Iris. She looked beyond nervous that I'd spill the beans on her. I should, Joe deserved to know. Her eyes begged me to keep quiet.

"Would you all mind giving me a moment alone with my children," Joe requested.

They left the room after a moment and it was just us.

Joe looked between us with narrowed eyes. "Alright, what's going on with you two?"

Here was my chance. It'd be so easy to take it. I honestly didn't care if Iris got mad at me, at least she'd still be alive. But something in me wouldn't let it come out.

My eyes went to the floor. "Nothing."

"Iris?" Joe asked.

"Like Barry said, nothing."

He made a disapproving noise. "I know when you two aren't telling me the truth, so I'll ask again. What's going on?"

I looked up at Iris, she bit in her bottom lip. Could she not? I didn't want to find her attractive right now, I wanted to be mad at her.

I leaned on the bed railing. "Nothing we can't figure out." I added.

He looked between the two of us again. "If you say so. Cisco and Linda can spend the night if you want." He nodded at me.

"Thanks." We said simultaneously.

In my absence I was glad that Cisco and Iris had gotten close. Now he was as much as her friend as he was mine. Plus, her and Linda were on good terms. What more could I ask for?

"So can Caitlin and Ronnie." He told Iris.

"Come here," He gestured for us to lean down.

Iris and I hugged him tight. That was the closest I felt to her within the last few days.

"I'm going to be fine, no need to worry." He patted my back. "Where's Eddie?"

We pulled away.

"Uh, he went to the cafeteria, I think. He said he wanted to be alone." Iris lied.

Any joy I had left at her lie. Why couldn't she just tell the truth?

She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Okay. You two should be on your way. If I'm not out by tomorrow then we could just order food for Christmas dinner."

Iris waved him off. "Nonsense. You will be home and we'll have a normal Christmas dinner. All of us." She gave a weak smile that didn't reach her eyes and for the first time I saw how scared she was about Joe being here.

"Joe," Eddie stood in the door.

I leaned down for another hug and headed for the door. I patted Eddie on the shoulder, he didn't deserve what Iris said to him. He was actually a decent guy.

"We'll check on you in the morning." I told Joe.

"Get some sleep." He demanded.

Iris struggled to keep up with my long strides. She pulled my arm back. "I thought we were cool. What was that?"

I didn't want to be the bad guy right now, I wanted to comfort her because we were both terrified that something more could happen to Joe, but I couldn't ignore that she lied to me. She didn't trust me. Now I truly knew how she felt when I came back.

"I'll keep your secret, but don't expect me to be happy about it." My eyes stared at her. "When Joe finds out, and he will find out, you better come up with a really good lie because I'm not taking the blame for this."

There was a fire behind her eyes that I hadn't seen since half a year ago. "You arrogant, sexist, asshole." She spat. "You still think because I'm a girl that I can't handle it as best as you can. Well, newsflash, Barry. The Black Canary could probably kick your ass."

My eyes narrowed. "How do you know about the Black Canary?"

She stilled. Her eyes went to the side.

I took hold of her arm. "Have you been training with Oliver?" I fought to keep control of my voice.

She tore her arm away. "What? No." A lie clearly in her voice.

"You know, Eddie was right. I don't know who you are anymore."

The unmistakable look of hurt crossed her face. She gave a tight grin.

"I'm going to spend the night at Caitlin's." She pushed past me without another word.

I let her go without another word. We need some space, time apart.


	27. Breathe Me

Apologies for not updating for a while. I'm back at school full time along with my job so it's been crazy trying to find time to write that wasn't educational. Anyway, thanks for the continued support, yall are all bae! Also, I know there has to be typos in this because it's almost 2am, I promise I'll get to them later with a fine toothed comb.

The song for this chapter is Sia - Breathe Me

IRIS' POV:

Fuming, I ran towards the mma gym even though I was sure it was closed. What Barry said was fresh in my mind. How dare he? How could he say that to me after all that we've been through? He doesn't like who I've become, well same to you. Well, not exactly true, but I was fucking upset. So I had no choice but to be mad at him.

The doors were locked as I panted in front of the gym. Fuck. Without a second thought, I headed towards town. Screw Barry's opinion and his sexist rules. I'll do what I want when I want.

If I want to defend the city, I'll fucking defend the fucking city. He didn't own me. Neither did Oliver. He'd understand. I can't sit cooped up with his much anger inside of me. I had to do something with it. I had to save somebody with it. I just didn't know where to start. I figured trolling the streets would get my ass caught. So I went up to the roof of Jitters and attempted to focus my hearing. Whatever that was happening to me did heighten my any other abilities besides healing. My fist was just as angry as I was in the hospital and it didn't take much to crack it through the wall. I was sure I'd have to bandage it before my dad saw, but it was gone soon enough.

Needless to say, I thought I looked pretty silly on the rooftop like Batman, but what other alternative was there? After a few minutes I was about to give up and just run some more when I heard for help. I didn't have the super speed like Barry to charge down the side of the building so I did it the human way. I took the stairs.

First of all, I had no idea where the scream came from. I wasn't that good. Yet.

No one stopped me and asked what I was doing, so I guess my incognito runner's outfit worked. Maybe I looked just psychotic and not like a vigilante.

The voice screamed again. Sounded like a woman's, young and scared, and I had the ability to do something about it. So I ran until I saw some girl crawling away from someone in a black hoodie.

"Hey," I charged him. "Get away from her.". I shoved the guy back and pulled the girl away.

The guy ran away without a word. The girl sobbed as she bent on her knees.

"It's okay, he's gone." I knelt down in front of her. "You're safe now."

She looked up at me with smudged mascara running down her pale face. "No," Spencer registered me as I did the same. "Iris, what are you doing here?" She stood to her feet, wiping her face. "You can't be here. He'll use you. Leave, you have to leave me alone." She shied away, her body shaking in her navy blue peacoat.

"What are you talking about? You're fine now. No one's going to hurt you."

She walked past me. "You don't understand."

I grabbed her arm. "Then help me understand. What just happened?"

"It's none of your business, Iris. Just leave it alone." She yanked her arm away and headed for the street.

"Spencer!"

She whirled around. "You don't know me and you don't know my situation, so stay out of it or you'll be next."

With that weighing on me, I let her go. You couldn't help everybody, true, but this was Spencer. She helped me become stronger and I couldn't just not help her. Toby. I'd call him and he'd know what to do.

I pulled out my phone as I headed for the streets, then all of a sudden my phone wasn't in my hand anymore, it was stuck in the side of the building with a big arrow through it. My jaw clenched as I looked up to see the Arrow scaling down the building across from me.

"I thought we had this conversation before." He demanded as he neared me.

"Why are you following me?"

"Someone has to so you don't get killed." He challenged.

I shook my head. "I can take care of myself."

"I'm not doubting that you can, but this isn't the way to go about it. You're not ready."

Folding my arms across my chest, I said, "I was out for a run and I heard a scream. I knew the girl. Was I supposed to just walk away and not help her? Wait for you or Barry to come save the day?"

He gave a surprising half grin. "When you put it like that, I see your point. But you're still not trained to be out here."

I took a step forward. "So stop talking and teach me."

He sighed. "I can't. Not anymore."

Disbelief rose in me. "What?" I poked his chest. "You promised, you promised me, and you promised Felicity. Are you really going to break her trust to protect me? I'm a nobody, my life is really inconsequential compared to Felicity's trust, you know."

He held up a hand for me to stop. "I said I couldn't train you, I didn't say you weren't going to get training."

My brow furrowed. "Then who's training me?"

"The Black Canary."

My eyes widened. "Really?" Excitement filled me.

He nodded once.

"Wait, why can't you do it anymore?"

He took a few steps back. "Let's just say that The Flash really cares about you."

The mention of Barry gave me a rush of frustration and love. He was an idiot and I shouldn't have called him sexist because I know he wasn't. I just wanted him to accept me, whoever I was turning into, and he wouldn't. I wanted him to see me equally. Someone he could talk to about all of this, but if he couldn't make peace with me doing this alongside him then I don't know where that leaves us.

"Hey, you owe me a new phone." I told the Arrow.

"Bill me."

My eyes rolled. Who would've thought I'd be in the inner circle of superheroes and vigilantes? It was pretty darn cool.

I made it to Caitlin's apartment eventually. I wasn't sure how, I must've walked on autopilot. My brain was reeling from everything that had happened in the past forty-eight hours. How I got stabbed by Peekaboo, how I healed myself, how my dad was in the hospital and things were worse than he was letting on, how I yelled at Eddie, how Barry couldn't even look at me. I didn't know what was happening around me, only that I was the problem.

The door opened and Caitlin stood on the other side, worry in her eyes. She pulled me close and squeezed me tight.

"I'm so glad that you're okay."

Tears stung my eyes and there wasn't an ounce of self control left in me, I sobbed in chest, my body wracked her arms. I wasn't okay. I was a mess.

She brought me to her bed, pulled the covers over us. Eventually, I told her everything that was going on with me with minimal crying until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

CAITLIN'S POV:

When I was sure Iris was out cold I crept out to the hall. Ronnie was in the kitchen by the stove.

"What are you making?" I whispered.

He turned towards me, his baby blue eyes burning into mine. "Hot chocolate, thought you two could use some."

A smile tugged at my lips. "You didn't have to do that."

He grinned. "It's just chocolate, Cait."

I leaned against the island. "No kettle?" I looked up at him with hope. "Did you use your powers?"

He chuckled. "No, I used the microwave."

A blush covered my cheeks. "Oh."

"It's okay," He handed me the steaming mug by the by the base as if it didn't burn him, which I knew it didn't. "I'm getting better at handling the fire. Thanks for the confidence boost."

I took a sip and boy could he make good cocoa. "No problem."

"How is she doing?" He leaned next to me.

I sighed as I looked up at him. "Not great. There's just so much going on right now and Barry not approving of her choice of night time fun doesn't help anything."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

My head shook. "No, I don't think it'll do any good. He's dead set on not wanting Iris to be a vigilante."

"I can't much blame him."

I shot him a look. "Excuse me?"

His blue eyes burned into mine. "I wouldn't want the girl I'm in with to put her life in danger every night either. I'd go crazy thinking about it." His eyes scanned my face.

My heart sped up in my chest, when he said things like that it was hard not to feel like he

talking about us, about me. What scared me was that I wanted him to be talking about us. We couldn't go there, everything was at risk if I let myself admit that I wanted Ronnie.

"I guess we both have that problem, being that I'm a lesbian." I gave an awkward chuckle as I averted my eyes.

"Right." He said, disbelievingly.

The doorbell rang. Ronnie and I shared a look as he went to open the door.

Barry stood at the other side. "Is she here?" He pushed past Ronnie.

"Yeah," I stepped in front of him. "She's sleeping."

He headed for the rooms.

"Barry, she doesn't want to see you."

He stopped and turned to me. "I don't care, I just need to see her."

I grabbed his wrist and tugged him forward. I opened my bedroom door enough so he could see her sleeping, and then I closed the door quietly.

"Happy now?" I whispered.

He shook his head. "I said some awful things to her. She needs to know I'm sorry."

My arms folded across my chest as I tilted my head. "Are you?"

He sighed. "Look, what's going on with Iris is between the two of us. We both said some things we probably shouldn't have. I just want to make things right, is that too much to ask?"

No, it really wasn't.

"Tonight it is. Let her rest. She's been through a lot the last few days, her getting stabbed really help anything-" I clamped my mouth shut as I realized the mistake I made.

Barry stared back at me with narrowed eyes, a fire blazing behind them directed at me as if this was all somehow my fault. "She what?"

I took a step back and kept my mouth shut.

Ronnie stepped in front of Barry, being a protective barrier. "I think it's time for you to leave, Allen." He demanded.

Barry gave him an incredulous look before meeting my worried gaze. "Tell her I stopped by, please."

I nodded as he turned to leave.

Thinking back to all those months ago when I first met him, I had no idea that any of us would be here. That Barry and Iris would have this epic disastrous love, that I'd come to care about Ronnie as much as I did, that my friends would be superheroes, vigilantes. That I'd feel this cold amongst friends.

BARRY'S POV:

I think I'm going crazy. All I could think about was Iris. How I didn't trust her, how she things started to not add up, how I loved her, how crazy she made me, how I believed in her, and how I didn't want to see her fail. I knew without a doubt that she wouldn't just fail if she pursued this vigilante dream of hers, she'd die. She wasn't as fast as me. She wasn't as skilled as Oliver. Or as dark as Laurel. If given the choice, she wouldn't kill someone to save herself, she didn't have a bad bone in her body. Still, she wanted to do this, to be apart of this. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out why it was so important to her.

Eddie had the right idea when he told her to join the police force or to become a lawyer. She could be a firefighter or a judge. All of which were less dangerous than her becoming a vigilante. Why couldn't she see that? I could care less that she was a girl. Hell, Laurel was one of the better vigilantes I've seen. I knew for a fact, she could kick my ass if I didn't use my speed. But Iris was different. She was important. I needed her to be safe and wouldn't take that as a good enough reason to stay away from it. She was too stubborn for her own good.

I rounded the corner to the steps, there was no use in taking the elevator, when I was knocked unconscious.

My eyes peeled open as I inhaled the dank smell of mold and beer. Where was I? My hands were tied behind my back with rope, my legs tied to the chair as I sat in a steel chair.

"I want to chat," A voice said. "I hope you don't mind, the place is a little messy."

I found Tony standing a few feet away, a smirk on his face. Was he on steroids?

"What am I doing here, Tony?" My mind went to the worst. "Where's Iris?"

He chuckled. "Relax, Allen. All of my attention is on you tonight. She'll get hers." He squatted in front of me.

I struggled against the rope. "You touch her and I'll kill you."

He grinned. "I'm sure you couldn't. On the other hand, I'm sure you could get out of those ropes easy enough."

I stared at him. "What are you talking about? Why am I here?" I struggled some more.

"Come on, Allen. You're smarter than that, Mr. Forensic Scientist. You have to know that I know you're The Flash. Why else would you be here?"

My body stilled. How'd he know?

He laughed. "You should see your face right now, Allen." He rose from his crouch. "The way you came to save Iris, the way you always tried to protect her in middle school. I knew it had to be you."

I shook my head. "You're wrong. How could I be The Flash? I was at home when you had her at the school."

"I know how fast you can be, I don't buy that. So, here's the plan." He pointed up at the ceiling."

All the breath left me.

"I'm going to drop that box of knives and sharp objects on top of you and you're going to flash out of the way, then we're going to fight. See who the real God is."

My head shook. "You're crazy, how is this going to prove anything? I'll die!"

"I guess we'll find out."

I struggled against the ropes. "You can't do this! This is murder!"  
He shrugged. "At least there won't be anything standing in the way of Iris."

My jaw clenched as I pulled away from the rope, but nothing happened. Think.

"Looks like you were born to take a beating, Allen." He reached for a rope that had to be connected to the box of sharp things.

Before I could know what I was doing, my body shook and the ropes burned through from the friction. As soon as everything dropped I was across the room.

Tony stared back at me. "There's my boy."

I glared at him, my heart raced. "I'm not your boy."

He shrugged.

"I'm giving you one last chance, Tony, to walk away."

A smirk took over his face. "Not even."

"You know, I think you don't want this fight to happen," I neared him. "Because if you never fight me you can always tell yourself that you beat me."

He wiped at his nose. "Interesting theory, but I think you're stalling. _You're_ scared, not me."

My fist balled at my sides. "It doesn't have to be like this, Tony. You don't have to be one of the bad guys."

His entire body turned to steel. "Yeah, I do." He came for me.

I ran out of the way, too fast for his steel punches. "That all you got?"

IRIS' POV:

Barry's presence woke me from my sleep. I knew without a doubt. But why? I just need to see her." I learned him say from the hall.

My heart pounded in my chest. Please, don't let him in here, Cait. I don't want him to see me like this.

"I don't care," I heard Barry say. "I just need to see her."

A few seconds later the door opened and I pretended to be asleep. Don't come in, I begged. Thankfully, the door shut. I gave it a few seconds before I jumped and pressed my ear to the closed door.

"Happy now?" Caitlin asked him.

"I said some awful things to her, she needs to know I'm sorry."

My heart squeezed. Maybe I should go out there. I needed to apologize to him, too. This wasn't one sided. But we did need to give this whole thing some room to breathe.

I heard Ronnie tell him he had to leave. When the front door closed my moment went. I cracked the door open, Caitlin and Ronnie turned to me.

"Thanks." I offered a weak half grin.

Caitlin nodded. "You hungry?"

"No, but I should eat something."

"Want me to make you something?" Ronnie offered.

"No," Caitlin and I begged simultaneously.

His blue eyes widened with a tinge of sadness. "Geez, okay."

"Sorry," Caitlin patted his shoulder.

I went to the drawer with all the takeout menus. "What are we in the mood for? Thai or Chinese?"

They shrugged while Ronnie looked sad.

"Hey," She hugged his side. "The hot chocolate was amazing."

My eyes scanned the room. "There was hot chocolate?"

Caitlin laughed. "Here you go." She passed me a still hot mug.

After the food came and we stuffed ourselves, Caitlin went to take a shower. Ronnie and I cleaned up the plates and trash. "Iris," He said while we dumped the trash in the dumpsters outside. His eyes were serious, which was rare for him. "You know you're my friend, right?"

I nodded with a slight grin. "Yeah, why?"

"Because what I'm about to say comes from a place of friendship, but also from a place of being a guy." He made an awkward face. "Barry was kind of an ass to you earlier, sure, but you get where he's coming from, right?"

I nodded. "Sure, but, that doesn't mean he's right."

"You know, when I met you for the first time I wanted to sleep with you."

My eyes narrowed. "Is there a point to this talk?" I placed my hands on my hips as we stood in the alley.

He grinned. "I mean, I told Barry as much and he about threatened to castrate me. He said that you were special. In case you haven't noticed, if a guy says you're special it means he doesn't want anything getting in the way of you being together. You know that this path you're going down is dangerous, right?"

A sigh escaped me as I took a step back, my eyes went to the pavement. "I know, but I can take care of myself, Ronnie. I'm not as fragile as everyone thinks."

He nodded. "I know and Barry knows that, too. The difference is that he's in love with you and you're willingly putting yourself in danger. There's got to be another way to help people."

I bit into my bottom lip. Everyone kept telling me that and I heard what they were saying, but saving someone's life was different than keeping them in or out of jail.

"He shouldn't be the only that has to share that burden. I can help him save this city, Ronnie. Why doesn't anybody see that?"

"Maybe because Barry was chosen to save this city and you're putting yourself into the equation."

His words stung, more than I expected. I turned away from him.

"I'm so tired of having the same conversation over and over again." Sadness washed over me. "Can you just support me? I need a little pick me up right now."

He laid a hand on my shoulder. "Iris, I'll support you no matter what. I just want you to be safe. It would kind of suck without you around. Besides, your ass is better than Cait's."

I snorted out a laugh as I turned to him for a hug.

He held me tight. "If you tell her I said that, I'll kill you myself."

"Deal," I chuckled.

Later that night I was woken by a shaking. My eyes peeled open. "What?"

Caitlin stood over me with Ronnie. "It's Barry, we have to get to STAR Labs."

We rushed over there, but not fast enough. No one knew how badly Barry was hurt, that just he went up against Tony.

"Why would he be so stupid?" I asked Cisco over the phone.

"Gee, I don't know, Iris. It's not like his only father figure is in the hospital and the girl he loves gave him the official bye felicia."

I frowned out of the car window. "That's not fair. He started it." I pouted.

"You can apologize when you get here."

My eyes widened. "Why do I have to apologize first?"

"Because he's the one that's lying on a hospital bed mumbling your name."

My heart couldn't take it so it fluttered. My eyes shifted to the night sky and I wondered how it was possible to hate someone and love them at the same time.

"Okay," I slid the phone from my ear.

Walking from the elevator I was sure everyone could hear my heartbeat. My eyes found Barry sleeping on the bed in a STAR Labs sweatshirt and pants. He was bruised up badly, one eye was swollen shut. His top lip was cut. A few bandages were placed by his hairline and cheek. I was sure there were bruises I couldn't see.

I went to him, carefully sat on the edge of the bed.

"Iris,"

I looked back to see Cisco and Linda with a man in a wheelchair who I assumed was Dr. Wells. He did this to Barry, to all of us, to me. He changed my life when he changed Barry. I didn't know whether to be upset with him or to thank him. Barry shouldn't have had the sole responsibility to save the city. How could anyone ask him to do that?

"Ms. West." Dr. Wells held out a hand.

I stared at it for a moment, but didn't give him my hand.

"Iris," Cisco started, clearly offended I wasn't thrilled to meet the infamous Dr. Wells that almost blew up the city.

Dr. Wells waved it off. "No, it's quite alright. The Arrow brought him in. He's stable, he's just not responding.."

Barry mumbled my name as he twisted on the bed, the drugs must be making him hazy.

"Just what happened? Where's Tony?"

"We don't know, but I assure you we will contain him when we have the proper facility." He seemed confident.

I sighed. "Thank you for taking care of him."

He nodded. "My pleasure. Barry is very important to this city."

I gave a tight smile. There was something off about this guy.

"Iris," Barry cried in his sleep.

"Would you mind giving me a minute alone with him?"

"Sure,"

Cisco brought me a chair to sit in by the bed.

After everyone cleared out I sat, my hand took Barry's in mine. With a sigh, I took him in. "Hey, Barry. It's Iris. I don't know if you can hear, but if you can, I really really need you to wake up. Like earlier, I went out again. I saved someone's life, someone I knew. I do dumb things like that when you're not around." I stared at his still body. My eyes filled with tears as I bit into my bottom lip. "My life is really hard without you in it." I huffed. "I know that the reason you came to live with us was awful, but Barry, you made us whole again. You made us a family again. We need you." I wiped a tear from my cheek. "I need you." My lips placed a soft kiss on his.

He shocked me.

I jumped away as he started contorting, his body shook uncontrollably. The monitors beeped continuously.

"Oh my God. Help!"

Everyone came rushing back in.

"What happened?" Cisco asked.

"He was fine a second ago." My heart pounded. "I thought you said he was stable?" I turned to Dr. Wells.

Cisco, Linda, and Ronnie held him down. The monitor flatlined.

No.

"No," I rushed forward. Caitlin held me back. "Barry!" I couldn't take my eyes of his shaking body. The ringing of the machine in my eyes.

"Get her out of here." Cisco demanded.

Caitlin rushed me out into the hallway against my will. "You don't need to see that."

He can't be dead. There was something wrong with the machine. They'll save him. They have to. He's Barry. He can't not be here. We were supposed to make up and get past this rough patch. We were supposed to have that perfect timing. What if they couldn't save him? What if I missed my last chance to look into his eyes because I was being stubborn earlier? What if he left me here to finish what he started?

Caitlin hugged me to her. "He's going to be okay."

Suddenly, she shot up and ran back into madness. "I know a little medical training! Get out of the way!"

I followed her only to have Ronnie rush out to keep me away from it all. I couldn't contain the tears. "Why won't you let me see him?" I sobbed into his chest.

"Trust me, you don't want to see that." He rubbed my back.

I cried until the beeping finally slowed down. There was a moment of silence that gave me hope. I pushed past Ronnie to see Barry lying still on the bed. The room full of relieved grins.

"I did it!" Caitlin seemed more excited than anyone. "I actually did it," She beamed and ran to hug Ronnie. "I saved his life."

"That she did." Dr. Wells agreed.

Cisco hung his head. He looked so tired.

Linda slid her hand into his, rested her forehead on his arm. "He's going to be okay. Let's go take a walk."

He nodded and followed her.

I turned to Caitlin. "Thank you."

She grinned, tears in her eyes. "It was easy."

I gave a weak grin as I turned to Dr. Wells. "Thank you."

He gave a profession nod.

For what felt like an eternity, I sat by his side, careful not to touch him. All Dr. Wells could tell me was that he should regain consciousness any moment now. I thought about slapping Barry awake, but thought better of it. I was left to think the worst.

"Flower," A crackled voice spoke.

My eyes shot up to Barry's. His non-bruised eyes stared at me. My heart relaxed. I grabbed his hand. "Barry, you're awake." I crushed myself to him, not thinking about his other injuries.

He groaned. "I'm glad to see you too."

Involuntarily, I punched his shoulder.

He groaned again. "Why? What could I have possibly done to deserve that?"

"You went after Tony like an idiot."

He tried to sit up, but I pushed his chest back down forcefully. "I did not go after him, he knocked me out and tied me to a chair. He wanted to prove that I was The Flash. He proved it alright."

I felt a little guilty for hitting him. "Oh." I rubbed his shoulder. "Sorry."

He sighed. "How long have I been out?"

"A few hours. Wait, is Tony going to tell your secret?"

Ronnie and Caitlin rushed over. "Are you okay?" They asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

He raised off the bed. "I don't know, Iris. He's got a God complex. We need to stop him."

We? Hope rose in me. Maybe he was adjusting to the idea of me being out there with him.

"Oliver and I can't take him alone. The Black Canary, Dark Archer, Arsenal. We'll make it work."

I tried to hide my disappointment. "You need to rest." My hand went back to his chest, instead of pushing him back down it stayed there, my own link to his heartbeat. He was alive.

"There's no time."

"You're not even fully healed." I argued.

"Every second that I'm in here he's out there doing whatever he pleases. I know what he did to you in the school, Iris. I'm not going to let him get away with it." He rose and wobbled a little. Barry was weak, but I could see that he was already starting to heal, his eye was almost back to normal.

I helped him sit back on the bed. "You can barely stand."

"Iris is right, he just beat you to a pulp and now you want to jump back in the ring with him?" Ronnie added.

Ten points for Ronnie. If he could convince Barry to stay, I'd buy him food at my nearest opportunity.

I locked eyes with Barry. "Please, don't go looking for him right now. Rest. You can pick your fight later." I could see he wanted to argue, so I stopped him with my mouth on his. The same spark from earlier tingled my mouth. "Please, I almost lost you tonight. I can't do it again so quickly." My eyes begged his.

He nodded.

Cisco and Linda returned.

"Hey, you're awake." Linda grinned. She came to hug him. "Glad you're okay." He hugged her with one hand.

Cisco stood next to him. "Hey," The sadness still in his voice.

"Hey," Barry grinned as he pulled Cisco close. They stayed like that for heart wrenching moment. Cisco pulled away with a nod.

I grinned at the two of them. "I'll get you something to eat."

"Actually, I already have that covered." A feminine voice came from behind us.

Barry's eyes widened.

Everyone turned to look at the girl in the doorway. A streak of jealousy ran through me.

"You still like Big Belly Burger don't you, Bear?" Thea asked with a smirk.

No this bitch didn't just call Barry by _my_ nickname!

My arms folded across my chest as I turned to Barry with a raised brow. "Do you, _Bear_?"

He looked extremely uncomfortable. "Uh..."

"Oh, shit." Ronnie's laughter filled the room as I gave Barry the death stare.

Please leave a review, let me know what yall think. :) Have a nice night!


	28. Lay You Down

The song for this chapter is Matt Corby - Lay You Down

FELICITY'S POV:

"You really couldn't have told Barry that Thea was coming?" I paced Oliver's hotel room as he sat on the bed. "You know Iris is going to have a fit, and then she'll be mad at me because I didn't tell her." My head throbbed.

Oliver gave me his usual stoic look, but there was tinge of something more in his eyes. "He can handle it, Felicity."

I shook my head. "You're not understanding me, Iris almost killed me when she thought I wanted Barry at Thanksgiving. Same thing with Linda when she thought I wanted Cisco. Those girls are insanely jealous and you just sent your baby sister into the lion's den. At least, Caitlin's a lesbian. Maybe she'll diffuse some of the tension." With a huff, I propped my hands on my hips. "What do you have to say for yourself?" I gave him a stern look.

He rose, his tall frame towered over me, his eyes captured mine. "Should serve him right." He walked towards the door with a parting glance.

I followed. "What are you talking about?" I stepped into the hall and headed for the elevator. "Barry can do no wrong. He's like a sexy puppy, he's harmless."

Oliver practically filled the elevator with tension. "A harmless puppy that flirted with you."

I let out laugh, then took in his expression. "Oh, you're serious." I pressed the ground floor button. "You're talking about earlier?"

He shrugged. "You didn't seem to mind."

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough. "You're being ridiculous. Barry and I are just friends."

A few moments later the elevator doors opened. I marched past him, a little pissed. You could say it was fairly obvious that I felt something for him and all of a sudden he gets to be jealous?

"And if we weren't what are you going to do about, Oliver?"

BARRY'S POV:

What was Thea doing here? Did Oliver tell her that I was hurt?

She handed me the bag of food. Or more accurately the bags of food. "Thought you could use a little energy. We both know you get hungry after you exert a lot of energy."

Iris' forehead creased. I thought she was about to pop a blood vessel.

Ronnie laughed some more and I wasn't sure why he found this particularly funny.

"Thanks, Speedy."

She made a mildly annoyed face. "Don't call me that. I'm not your sister." She wasn't exactly sly when she directed a smirk towards Iris. "Nice to see you again, Iris."

Iris didn't say anything back, she just stared at her like she was an inch away from knocking her out. Then I realized why the other night Iris kept asking me about important people I met in Central City, she had met Thea.

"Ollie is on his way over here from the hotel."

I cleared my throat. "Thea is Oliver's sister everyone."

Ronnie continued to laugh as if this was getting funnier by the moment for him. From the corner of my eye I saw Caitlin smack his chest in warning.

"It seems you already know Iris." I gave a weak smile then introduced everyone else.

"Nice to meet other important people in Barry's life." Thea added with a half grin. "I'll be in town for a bit. Hopefully, I'll get to know you all a little better."

Iris turned toward me, a blank expression on her face, but if eyes could kill. "We should get home."

"What," Thea objected. "It's early. Let's hit the city. You can sweat off your injuries." She suggested in that seductive way of hers.

Iris gave her a look. "It's three in the morning."

"And?" Thea turned her questioning brown to Iris.

She folded her arms across her chest. "And he needs to heal, not to dance. He's coming home."

Thea grinned cheekily as she looked at me. "Well, I think that's up to Barry." She leaned a little closer to me.

They both gave me an expectant look.

"Thea," I sighed. "We all have a lot going on right now. Maybe another time." I gave her a knowing look.

Iris scoffed and marched out of the room.

IRIS' POV:

I paced outside, breathing in the cold air. If I was in there for one more second I was going to snatch that bitch's throat out. There seemed to be this law that wouldn't let me to be happy for five seconds.

My shoulders rolled back. I'd just have to roll with the punches I guess.

Caitlin and Linda came and stood on either side of me.

"How are you doing?" Caitlin asked.

"Peachy." My eyes focused on the dark sky.

They pulled me in for a hug.

"She was a bitch or was it just me?" Linda asked.

A grin came to my lips. "No, she was a bitch."

They joined in on the laughter. It was nice. I missed this. The three of us needed to hang out more. So much had happened lately that we were only brought together by tragedy.

We stayed quiet for a while.

"I'm going to go for a walk," I told them with a weak grin. "I need to see my dad."

Caitlin nodded, she gave my hand a squeeze.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Linda asked, concern in her voice.

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I need some time to clear my head."

We group hugged.

"Love you," They said simultaneously.

"Love you, too." I headed down the street.

My dad was fast asleep when I got to the hospital. The room was dark, but he looked to be okay. Obviously, looks could be deceiving. I sank down in the chair even though all I wanted to do was curl up beside him. It would be dawn soon and I needed to get a few hours of sleep in if I was going to make it through tomorrow. Once I let my thoughts thin out I drifted to sleep.

What seemed only seconds later I was shaken awoke. My eyes opened to find Barry hovered over me. He held his finger to his mouth and motioned for me to follow him. Sunlight drifted through the blinds, so I knew that I had gotten a little sleep. Still, I was not a happy camper.

Quietly, I rose from the hard chair and followed him down the hall and to a secluded corner. I waited for him to say whatever he had to say.

All it seemed he could do was stare at me. So my eyes narrowed. "You reek of guilt."

His eyes fell to the floor. "Iris..." He said after a heavy sigh.

My stomach was a ball of knots. "Did you sleep with her while you were in Central City?"

His jaw hardened, his silence said everything.

I could feel the bile rise in the back of my throat. The knots in my stomach tightened. My hand flashed out before I could stop it, smacking him across the face. My heart was in my throat.

"You lied to me."

He still couldn't meet my eyes.

"You're not going to deny it?"

His guilty green eyes found mine. "I didn't know how to tell you."

My hand smacked his face again. That time I meant it. I couldn't be here right now.

"Iris," He called.

"I can't get that picture of you two out of my head." I faced him, but kept the distance between us.

He rubbed his forehead. "Iris-"

"No, Barry. You actually slept with her and you didn't tell me about it, even after I asked if there was anyone important that you met."

"It wasn't like that, she wasn't important. Not like that. It was one time."

I gawked at him. "And that's supposed to make it okay?"

He huffed. "Look, yes, maybe Thea told me not to tell you, but I didn't have to listen. I could've told you," His eyes desperate. "A hundred times I could've told you. And I didn't."

My head shook in disbelief. "But you didn't."

"You're right to be mad, but don't be mad at Thea. Be mad at me."

I nodded. "Okay," My stupid eyes stung with fresh tears. "Okay, then explain to me how the person I thought I knew better than anyone else has been keeping secrets from me. Big, life changing secrets." Accusation clear in my voice.

His head hung as his hand ran across his forehead.

"You were supposed to be my best friend, Barry." A sense of deja vu filled me. We had a conversation like this before.

"I am your best friend." He looked offended.

Everything came flooding back. When he pushed me away ten years ago, when he didn't tell me about his crush, when he didn't tell me about his abilities, and now this. "How can you say that when the most important things in your life, the things that matter the most, the things you're supposed to share, you kept all of them from. You _lied_ to me. About everything."

Both hands were pressed to his temples. "I know, Iris. Look, I know. But you haven't been entirely honest with me either."

My eyes fluttered. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You had multiple times to tell me that you wanted to be a vigilante and you didn't. You kept it from me and from Joe. You repeatedly put your life and danger and you got Eddie to lie for you."

My jaw hardened.

"And last night I find out from Caitlin that you were stabbed, that Oliver had to stitch you up. Were you even going to tell me about that?" Distrust heavy in his voice.

There was nothing I could say? How did this get turned around on me?

He took my silence as his answer. "I'm going to go check on Joe." He walked away.

Apologies for the short chapter. I'm extremely tired, worked all day, but I wanted to get something up for yall because tomorrow I have a family function all day and I know that last chapter was kind of a cliffhanger. Anyway, I'll make next chapter longer, I promise. Please please please review, they mean the world to me :)


	29. Animals

Yall already know I suck at editing, I'll get around to it eventually. I should get a beta, but I'm too lazy and impatient to let one take their time to read it before I can post it. Anyway, hope some of yall are satisfied with this chapter. The song for this chapter is Maroon 5 - Animals

IRIS' POV:

My fist hit the punching bag until I was out of breath, until I was sure I burned a hole in it. Then I punched some more. Time flew by and I wasn't sure how much because I turned my phone off. People littered in and out and I didn't think I had been at the gym that long until Linda tapped me on the shoulder. I swung around, almost hitting her.

She held her hands up. "Woah,"

"Sorry," I panted as I lowered my headphones. I scanned the empty gym. "You're closing?"

"We've been closed for an hour, Iris."

My gloved hand wiped my sweaty forehead as I sat on the edge of the mat. "Sorry, I didn't even notice."

She came to sit by me with a sigh. "Do you want to tell me what's going on with you and Barry?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Well, I may know a little bit about dating Barry."

A huff escaped me. "Barry and I aren't dating."

She bumped my shoulder. "Yeah, but you might as well be."

My head shook. "I don't know if we can even be friends after what's happened between us, let alone be anything more. He doesn't trust me and I don't trust him."

She stayed quiet for a few moments before turning to me. "To be a broken record, Barry loves you, Iris. He always has. Even when we were together I could tell. For ten years I've been competing for his attention and all he saw was you. So don't let a misunderstanding or temporary broken trust come between what you have. It's special and rare."

I took in what she said.

"I hear what you're saying, Linda, but it's not that simple."

"Then make it that simple." She rose. "Hate to kick you out, but I have a date with a nerd." She walked us to the door.

A grin came to my face. "How are you and Cisco doing?" I stepped outside.

Her smile reached her eyes. "He's amazing." She locked the door. "I never thought I'd be this happy." She took in my sullen expression. "I didn't mean to rub it in or anything."

I waved it off. "I'm happy for you both, I promise."

She pulled me in for a tight hug. "I'm rooting for you both."

My arms squeezed her back. "Thanks for being a friend."

"Of course."

We pulled apart.

"Do you want a ride home or somewhere else?"

I shivered. "Sure. Thanks."

Inside the car, she turned to me. "You hungry?"

My brow creased. "I could eat."

She chuckled.

BARRY'S POV:

"What the hell is this?" I demanded.

Barry jumped up. "Iris,"

Anger fueled me up. He couldn't do this to me. "You brought her to my house?!"

He neared me. "It's not what it looks like, I promise."

I looked between the two of them. "Your word doesn't mean much to me right now. And if I were you then I'd get Thea out of my house before I do something we'll all regret."

His eyes narrowed. "You know this is my house, too."

My anger flared. "Get the bitch out of my house, Barry, before I kick your ass."

He stood his ground. "No. She can stay as long as she likes."

I marched up the stairs. "Fine." I reached his room. With his clothes in my arms I threw them down the stairs. "Take your crap and get out of my house. You're not family."

He grabbed at his clothes. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I went back to his room and grabbed more clothes.

He was in the doorway as soon as I turned around, my hair blown in my face. "Would you stop?" His green eyes angry.

I threw the clothes at him. "You brought the girl you slept with into my house, Barry. How'd you think I was going to react?" I grabbed the picture of us off of his bedside table. "This." I threw it against the wall, the glass shattered. "Doesn't mean anything anymore."

He stared at me in disbelief, took a cautionary step forward. "Calm down, you're being melodramatic."

My eyes flared. "You haven't seen melodramatic yet." I threw the nearest thing, which was a clock. The broken pieces settled on the floor. I grabbed the lamp.

He was in front of me so fast it scared me a little. He snatched the lamp from me and threw it to the ground. "I wouldn't have slept with her if I hadn't gotten drunk to deal with the fact that you started seeing Eddie!" He barked in my face.

All I could was stare at him. I hadn't been expecting that.

"You slept with her to get back at me?"

He groaned. "No," He turned from me. "I came to see you one night, just to check on you." When he turned back to me there was pain in his eye. "And I saw you kiss him. So don't tell me about what's it like to have your heart ripped out of your chest."

Some of my crazy left, now replaced by understanding. That still didn't make it okay.

"Besides, we weren't together when I slept with Thea. And I know that's not the point, but that's why you're really mad."

I nodded. "You're right. That's why I'm mad. I thought that sex was supposed to mean something to you, but apparently it doesn't."

"Did it mean anything when you were with Eddie?" He shot back.

My forehead creased. "I was never with Eddie." I shoved him back. "I was stupidly waiting for you, Jackass." I pushed past him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him, his hands grabbed my waist. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm an ass."

I yanked away from his hold. "You got that right." I started for the stairs.

"Iris," He called.

I ignored him.

"Iris!"

I whirled around. "The real reason I'm mad is because I thought you were better than that." We stared at each other a moment. "You know, the more I get to know you the more I realize I don't know you at all."

He visibly sagged. There was something he wanted to say, but he couldn't quite put it into words.

"You're right."

This between was a bad idea. We just thought we could pick up where we left off and that the ten years of formation to our personalities didn't matter, but they did. Barry wanted to control me, he wanted me how he wanted me and I wasn't okay with that.

My phone rang. "Hello?" My eyes went to Barry's. After a few moments I hung up, I stood there too shocked to know what to do.

Barry stood in front of me. "What's going on?"

My hand seeked to touch any part of his body. I suddenly wasn't feeling very well.

"Iris,"

The room tilted.

Barry caught me. "Iris,"

My eyes fluttered open as I groaned. There was a hollow pit in my stomach and a bad taste in my mouth. My hand went to my forehead.

"You're awake."

My eyes found Barry sitting on the floor, his back against the couch. I sat up. "What happened?"

"You fainted."

Oh. I looked around. "Where's Thea?"

He looked up at me. "I told her to leave. This was a family issue. Unless, I'm not family anymore?" His jaw clenched.

I looked to the ceiling, then back at him. "I was angry when I said that, I didn't mean it."

His hazel eyes were sad. "But you did, Iris."

My head shook. "No," I slid down to the floor next to him. "You were right. As much as it pains me to say it, you're right. We weren't together when you were with Thea. We're still not." My hand kneaded the back of my neck. "I definitely overreacted." I met his eyes.

He nodded, a quick appearance of a grin on his lips. "You kind of did."

"But you can see where I was coming from, right?"

He turned his body to face me, his eyes scanned my face before meeting mine. "Iris, what I did with Thea was wrong." His eyes drifted to the side, the shame on his face. "I was hurt and angry at you, so I did something stupid. Yeah, I regret it. Everyday." He looked at me. "Being in Starling City was tough. Even though I had Felicity and Oliver, I was lonely. Every time I falter or make a mistake, the thought of you is what picks me up and keeps me going."

I bit my lip and flushed.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is that even though you didn't know everything about my life this past year, that does not mean that you weren't apart of it." He eyes seared into mine. "You were. Every single day." He wore a boyish grin. "Without you, there wouldn't be The Flash."

My hand went to my chest. A major case of the feels overwhelmed me.

I rose to my knees only to cup his face in my hands. My lips captured his in a meaningful display of affection, his scruff tickled my face. My arms wrapped around his neck as I straddled his lap. His hands went to my waist. His tongue sought mine as my hands gripped his hair. My hips moved on his lap, soon we had a good pace going, and I was moaning into his mouth.

He pulled his mouth away, his green eyes concerned. "We should stop."

My eyes gazed into his. This was Barry. Sometimes I knew him and sometimes I didn't, but I knew how I felt about him and that wasn't going away. So instead of telling him how I felt about the situation, I attacked his mouth again. A new hunger in me.

He took the hint and moved so I was on my back. His mouth went to my neck as his hips moved with mine. All I could do was moan at the feel of everything. This was the most action I had gotten from Barry and already it was on my top ten. But I wanted more. My hands went to his waist, trying to unbuckle his belt when his hands stopped mine.

His eyes met mine. "Are you sure?"

I grinned as I slipped my hand inside his pants and grabbed his hot and hard member. No underwear. My brow lifted in interest. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

His eyes closed as he groaned. "Yeah, you're sure." He picked me up and were upstairs in half a second, maybe sooner. He threw me down onto his bed, a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"Now's your time to tell me no and I'll stop."

I pulled my top off.

His brow rose. "Okay," He put his hands on the foot of the bed. "One more chance and we can forget this ever happened."

I pulled my bra off, my eyes never leaving his, a grin in place.

His eyes widened as he took me in. It looked like he was frozen in place. Maybe I'd have to do this myself.

I crawled to him, our eyes locked. My hands lifted his shirt over his head with his assistance, he still looked shocked. My hand ran down the hard plane of his chest, appreciating every detail, especially the V. I pulled his pants down. Even though I hadn't seen male genitalia in person I did watch a lot of porn, so I knew that Barry was bigger than average as was he wider. My eyes widened.

He looked down at me and tried to refrain from laughing, but couldn't from the look on my face. "Do you want to back out now, Flower?"

Tucking my nerves away, my hand grabbed his base as my mouth sucked him in.

"Oh my God, Iris." He groaned.

I mentally slapped myself on the back. That was the reaction I hoped for.

His strong hand cupped my face as the other held my hair back. "I can't believe you're doing this right now."

Neither could I, but I had to admit that this was a long time coming. I almost laughed at the innuendo. My eyes looked up at him, wanting to see him unravel because of me. I have to say, seeing Barry in a state of bliss was about the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Forget porn, this was the money.

He looked down at me, that dominant gleam in his green eyes as he moved his hips in and out. I was glad to give him this, not like I hadn't thought about it a dozen times before.

After a few moments, he pulled away. I couldn't help but think I did something wrong. He took me in and hurried to say, "No, you were fantastic. A little too much." He grinned. He leaned down to kiss me, he moved us back onto the bed. His hands went to my waist. "Can I take these off?"

I nodded.

My jeans were off in a flash. Now I was the one that was all bare. He stared at me for too long, so long that it made me nervous.

His eyes looked up to mine. "You're even more beautiful than I thought."

I flushed while relief filled me.

He leaned down to take my lips, his hand slid up my thigh. I gasped as he slid a finger inside me. "Tell me if you're uncomfortable. Promise?"

I nodded. "Promise."

He continued to kiss me slowly while I got used to his finger. Soon he moved it in and out, I cried out in pleasure. He grinned against my mouth. I grabbed his face and deepened the kiss. This was too much. Why hadn't we done this sooner?

"Barry!" I groaned when he vibrated his finger. My eyes closed at the feeling.

His teeth pulled at my bottom lip and that was all it took for me to come undone. My locked on his as I rode out the sensation, my arm around his neck for support. He gazed at me.

"You're so beautiful."

A grin played on my lips. "You, too." I brought his lips down to mine.

I knew the next part was going to hurt so I figured as long as he was kissing me I'd be okay.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" He asked again.

"I'm not changing my mind about this. I've wanted this for a long time."

He gave a wry grin, his forehead creased in worry. "What if it's not what you think it's supposed to be? What if I'm not good enough?"

I made him look at me. "Why are you all of a sudden shy?"

He looked at me as if it were obvious. "In case you haven't noticed, this is your first time. Our first time together. I want it to be perfect and I'm worried that it won't be for you."

Both of my hands grasped his face. "Barry Allen, I saved myself for you. I trust you. Sometimes." I grinned.

He chuckled.

"I don't want this with anyone else. I wanted it to be you, Barry." My legs wrapped around his waist. The feel of our sexes joined was indescribable. "So stop worrying and start making love to me. I can't wait any longer."

His brow rose, a teasing grin on his lips. "Really? I actually think I'm going to make a sandwich." He pulled away. "You want one?"

I yanked him back down and rolled him on his back with a laugh. "You're a tease if there ever was one."

Our eyes locked as I sunk down on him. My hand covered my mouth as I tried to not show the sting of pain. He wouldn't want to do this if he thought I was hurting.

He started to sit up. "Are you okay?"

My hand pushed his chest back down. I gave a curt nod. His girth was stretching me apart, never did I think I could be both in pain and pleasure. My walls closed in on him as I adjusted, my hips finding a comfortable rhythm.

His eyes closed while he let out an animalistic groan. "Damn, Iris."

A proud grin found my lips. "I'm glad you like it."

He opened his eyes with a laugh. He brought his hands to my waist for support. "There was no doubt in my mind that I would."

I picked up speed. "Says the guy on the bottom. You were about to pussy out on me."

His eyes darkened as he took me in, the challenge in both of our eyes. "I'll show you pussy out, Flower." He pushed me onto my back, putting us at the foot of the bed. Both of his hands were planted in the bed on either side of my head as he leaned over me. He pushed forward with great power.

I gasped in at the feeling. I knew he had it in him.

His strokes ranged from long and slow to fast and hard, all the while having me on the edge. His hand cupped the back of my neck, his mouth dominated mine. He sped up his strokes and I was about sure that he was using his powers to move that fast.

My head went back as I let out the loudest string of curse words mixed in with a few moans. I'd never felt so liberated in my seventeen years of life.

He brought my mouth to his, his teeth tugged on my bottom lip as I came back to Earth. His green eyes smirked at me as he pulled away. "That was so hot."

I blushed. If all the girls knew about that trick there wouldn't be any Barry left to share. He still hadn't gotten off and I knew he had been waiting for that moment just as long as I have, so I said, "Do whatever you like."

His brow lifted. "Huh?"

"You heard me."

He gave me a wary look. "Those are dangerous words, Flower."

I sat up. "You heard me." He still looked hesitant. I sighed. "I want you to feel what you made me feel, Bear."

The way he looked at me in that moment was worth all the arguments, all the pinning, all the banter, all the teasing, all the bullying, because I knew without a doubt that he was still in the same place that I was emotionally.

He smirked, his hands turned me around so I was perched on my knees. My eyes focused on the wall, pictures of us littered all across the room. Happiness filled me as he did the same.

A little sore, I groaned.

His breath made the back of my neck tingle. "You okay?" He hovered behind me.

I nodded. "Never better."

He kissed my neck as he moved his hips forward, hitting my butt.

I leaned into his kisses as I moved my hips back. "Please, never stop."

He groaned in my ear, hands down the sexiest thing I'd heard ever. "Don't plan on it."

After a few minutes of unbearable pleasure he wrapped his arm around my chest and held me closer. I could feel him moving faster, my eyes closed as I let the sensations wash over me. When I was coming back down he lightly bit into my neck, then I was back on the edge.

"Barry," I held onto his strong arm. "I love you."

"Say it again." He ordered.

I grinned. "I love you."

"Say my name!"

"I love you, Barry Allen!"

He stiffened as we rode the wave together. The room was filled with our pants of recovery, both of us sweaty and tired. His lips rested on my back as we stayed in that position for a while.

"Thank you." He muttered.

My brow rose. "For having sex with you?" That was kind of cheesy.

He shook his head, his lips brushed my back. "No, for allowing me to be that close to you."

Tears pricked at my eyes.

"Lately, I wasn't sure if we'd even be back on speaking terms. And that, both of us in that moment, mean a lot to me."

I could feel my throat closing up with tears. I didn't want to cry right now. Of course, he heard me sniffle.

"Are you crying?" He turned my around, propped me on his lap. Worry in his green eyes. "Do you regret it?" He looked as if I said yes his whole world would crumble.

I grinned. "No, I don't regret it." I leaned my head on his shoulder, my hand against his chest. "I'm just happy."

His heart skipped a beat under my hand. He let out a relieved sigh as he held me close to him. "Me, too, Flower. Me, too."

CAITLIN'S POV:

"Ronnie," I spoke to his voicemail. "You better be on your way over here. I made this delicious meal that you said you wanted. I am not a housewife, I don't slave in the kitchen for hours to make a fucking meal! Call me back or you're not getting any of this creme brulee." The sass dripped from my voice. I hung up.

Thirty minutes went by and it was just me and the food. I went to pour myself a glass of wine.

"Well, boys. It looks like it's just going to be me and you tonight." I gulped down the first glass. "Can't rely on guys to make you happy." I poured another glass. "Kind of why I became a lesbian in the first place."

I knew if Ronnie were here he'd play the world's smallest violin. A laugh escaped me as I thought of his goofy ass. Truth be told, he was goofy because he had to be. I knew it was a cover, so was that whole playboy thing he liked to project. If he even for one second tried to let down his defenses he'd let all that hurt in over his family, over his dying sister. Then there was moments when it was just the two of us and he wasn't afraid to share all of that with me, only me. He'd look at me for a moment too long with those heavy blue eyes and I knew that he saw me as more than a friend and that he knew deep down that I saw him that way, too. The saddest part was that I think he was waiting for me to come around, to realize that I wasn't just a lesbian. I was grateful that he couldn't see that I was already there.

With a sigh, I threw back the second glass and poured another while I headed out to the crappy balcony. It was Christmas Eve Goddamit! Where was he?

I sat outside for a bit, wrapped in a flannel blanket to keep warm. Well, the wine was doing a good job of that, too. In all honesty, the cold really hadn't bothered me much lately. When Ronnie slept at his brother's I cranked up the air. Even so, I lit the small makeshift fireplace.

"Cait," I heard a faint voice say. "I'm on my way. I got held up."

I looked around for him, but couldn't find him. Curious, I peeped over the balcony and saw Ronnie walking up the street to my apartment building. He had on a buttoned down blue shirt and blue jeans, a leather jacket on top. He looked so handsome from up here. I giggled. Not only did he have a gift wrapped box, but a bouquet of white tulips. My hand went to my mouth in shock. Was he going to tell me how he really felt? On Christmas Eve? Too romantic.

I was about to call out to him when a black SUV pulled up beside him. The window rolled down, but I couldn't make out the face. "Get in the car, Raymond."

He huffed. "Come on, guys. It's Christmas Eve. My girl is up there waiting on me."

Who was he talking to?

What I thought to be a gun was pointed out the window. "Get in the car."

No...what was happening?

He backed away from the car and was about to run when the goons rushed out of the car and dragged him kicking and screaming inside the SUV.

My eyes widened as I realized what was happening. They sped off. "No!"

A scream escaped as the fire seemed to absorb into my body and before I knew what was happening my hand shot out after the SUV and the road before them was covered in ice. The car swerved uncontrollably until it slammed into the side of a building. Worry filled me as I stared at the scene before me.

What did I just do?

A/N: I think we can all agree this was a long time coming lol and I wanted to say that I didn't want Barry and Iris to just have sex for the sake of having sex, I wanted it to mean something. So I think the longer they waited, the more they got to know each other and whatnot. Please, review. Don't be afraid. Thanks for reading yall! :)


	30. Make Me Wanna Die

Thanks a million for the support. The song for this chapter is The Pretty Reckless - Make Me Wanna Die

IRIS' POV:

My stomach growled as i sat on Barry's lap.

He looked at me with a half grin. "Maybe we should get something to eat." He suggested.

I nodded. "Definitely."

I climbed out of his lap only to have my legs go out on me from exertion.

Barry caught me. "Woah, you okay?"

A blush rose to my cheeks. He had done a really great job a few minutes ago, I had to give it to him. "Just a little weak in the knees."

"Oh, I can't imagine why." He grinned as he scooped me up in his arms. We were down in the kitchen in a flash. "Ms. West," He set me down on the kitchen counter. "I do believe that it's time to make our special double chocolate brownies." He got out the ingredients from the fridge.

Happiness tugged at my chest.

"Joe won't mind."

Just like that i remembered the reason i fainted in the first place. My hands gripped the countertop tight. "Bear," My voice came out below a whisper.

He gathered the proper utensils. "Maybe we should take him some. I hate to break it to you, but I don't think he'll be out by Christmas, which is in a few hours."

I repeated his name and it came out breathlessly. Panic filled me.

He mixed the ingredients together. "Do you think he'll want brownies?"

"Barry!"

He stopped and took me in. He was by my side in a second when he realized I wasn't okay. "What? What is it?" He rested his hand on my forearm.

My eyes scanned his face and I didn't know how I was going to tell him. Truth be told, it wasn't the end of the world, but it was still pretty bad.

"What's wrong?" He looked beyond worried.

"It's my dad." One of my hands found his. "He's got a heart condition"

His hand tightened around mine, his head shook. "I don't understand. Why does he have a heart condition?" His eyes glazed over.

"They've got it narrowed down to a few possibilities. They want to keep him for a little while longer for observation."

He shrugged. "But why? He's okay, right? If he's okay then why can't he come home?"

I was trying my hardest not to break down in front of Barry because it was clear that he didn't want to understand what was going on with my dad. Who could blame him? He lost both of his parents, he had separation anxiety. I was truly scared for him if anything ever happened to me or Joe.

My other hand grabbed his, my eyes locked on his. "He's going to be okay." I nodded. "We're going to make him our special brownies and he's going to get better just by seeing how happy we are." My legs wrapped around his waist while I laid forehead on his. "We're going to be okay."

His hands pulled me to him. "I can't lose you both." He tugged on my lips and it wasn't so bad anymore.

"We're going to be okay."

We stayed like that for a few more moments before he sat me down.

"You're not alone in this anymore, Bear."

He stared at me as if he realized something important.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

His forehead creased while his green eyes looked troubled. "Are you doing this because of me? Wanting to be a vigilante, I mean."

With some careful thought I said, "No, not at first. At first, it was for me, for the people that I thought I could save. Then I realized that maybe I was so hellbent on being a vigilante so that I could be closer to you, so you could let me in on what it's like for you."

He sighed, clearly not liking that explanation.

"You don't know what it's like for me, Barry. You keep me at arm's length because you're scared something's going to happen to you or me. You connect with Oliver and Felicity about it, but not me. Why?"

He paced the kitchen for a moment before turning to me again. "Iris, I don't want you in that part of my life. It's dangerous, it's lonely, it's cold. I didn't connect with Oliver and Felicity because I wanted to, I had to. To keep you guys safe. Four months and it was miserable without you, all to keep you out of harm's way. And I get back and you want to be dead center in it." He shook his head, not still not understanding. "How am I supposed to deal with that, Iris? If It were the other way around, how would you feel about me being out there?" His eyes tried to reason with mine. "You're not invincible, Iris."

It dawned on me that I still needed to tell Barry about certain things, namely my new freaky healing abilities and this confusing as hell empathetic thing I had going on. Not to mention, I think I could hear people's thoughts sometimes. I didn't know what was going on with me, but maybe Barry would know what to do. But this news wasn't something I knew how to convey in words to him, so I defaulted to a show and tell moment.

"There's something I need to get off my chest."

I walked the short distance to the knife collection and pulled a butcher knife from the wooden stand. Before it dawned on him what I was about to do, I cut a deep enough line across my forearm, deep enough to draw blood.

"What in the world, Iris?" He grabbed the knife from me and rushed to put my arm under the faucet. "Why would you..." He stared widely at the already closing wound. "What..."

I waited for him to get what this now meant, that I was like him.

Instead of the excitement I expected, there was even more worry wafting off of him. Maybe even panic.

I visibly sagged. There was no pleasing him. Well, a few minutes ago I could sing a different tune.

"There's got to be a way to reverse it." He insisted, he flashed upstairs and was standing in his clothes. He handed me mine.

I grabbed them from him. "I can heal myself and you want to get rid of that ability?" I slid on my pants.

"You're not supposed to have this life, Iris. You're supposed to be normal." He turned from me while I changed as if the magical act we did upstairs didn't happen.

My hands fumbled with my bra. "Well, what if I don't want to be normal, huh? What if I want to be extraordinary? What if I want to make a difference?"

He stiffened, his head turned to the side. "I don't want you to be extraordinary, I want you to be alive."

That stung as much as it tugged at my heart.

"This isn't the 1800's, Barry. I don't have to blindly follow your orders." I stepped into my boots. "I have a say in my life, I can do whatever I want, whether you agree with it or not."

He turned around to look me in the eyes and I wished he hadn't because there was very vibrant disappointment in his. "I'm not trying to control you, Iris. I want you to be whoever you want to be, I want you to be happy. Hell, you could be a stripper and I'd be relieved." His eyes pleaded with mine. "Anything but this."

I groaned. "How about we agree to disagree for now?" My eyes scanned his body, focusing on his groin filling out his jeans. My teeth bit into my bottom lip as I involuntarily squeezed my thighs together.

Just like that, the devilish smirk of his was back. He flashed us against the front door. My mouth caught his while I wrapped my legs around his waist. Before I could even grind against him he was inside of me and I remembered what Heaven was like.

"This doesn't mean I'm backing down."

His lips trailed down my neck, his teeth grazing my skin.

"Jesus, Barry." I moaned, my eyes rolled back. "Just so we're clear," I panted. "You can't just use sex as a tool of persuasion with me."

He grunted. "Iris, shut up and let me make love to you."

Anger spiked in me. My hand grabbed the nape of his neck and pulled his head away from my neck. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

His brow lifted as he smirked. "What are you going to do about it?"

I tried to push us off the door to get the upper hand, but he held us in place as his cockiness grew. My legs tightened around his waist as I tied my arms around his neck. I moved my hips up and down on him as I watched his composure crumble. Now it was my mouth that was on his jaw, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive skin.

"I shouldn't have underestimated you." He chuckled.

To prove his point, I tugged on his ear lobe. "You really shouldn't have." I whispered into his ear. The toe curling groan he made was worth it.

He pushed me back into the door, he set the pace, which he turned up to holy fuck. He laid his forehead against mine as we both knew what was around the corner. "I'm never going to love anyone how I love you, Iris. No one."

That pushed me over the edge. I held onto him for dear life, needing to be closer to him. The entire course of our friendship flashed through my mind and I never thought we'd be in this position years ago. I was completely glad that we had ended up here so far. Obviously, there were more steps to take, but those would come later.

He stiffened. "You're everything to me."

I nodded in agreement, my mouth urgently captured his as he started moving again. My eyes widened as a thought slapped me in the face. I pushed him back, falling to the floor.

He helped me up. "What's wrong?"

How could we screw up so badly? We were beyond idiots. Like really? We needed to be awarded for this level of stupidity.

My hand slapped his shoulder. "We didn't use protection!"

He stilled and his eyes widened. His eye twitched.

"Oh my God," I pulled up my pants. "Barry, you're little swimmers are like the fucking speed of light. I'm going to be pregnant by tonight and probably giving birth tomorrow!" I freaked out.

He was planted on the floor.

My hand went to my stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick."

He held a hand up in warning. "Don't you dare say it's morning sickness."

"It's not even morning you idiot."

His eyes met mine. "Don't go getting all hormonal on me now. This is your fault." He rose to his feet. "You tempted me with your vagina."

I exhaled in disbelief. "Don't even."

He held blame in his eyes. "Your curves and soft skin left me powerless. This is your fault. I wanted to wait, but you all but raped me."

A tiny fraction of anger left me as I tried not to laugh at that statement. "I raped you? Really, Barry?"

His eyes rolled. "Maybe, I over exaggerated. But the point still remains that I probably impregnated you and Joe's definitely going to notice a little mulatto baby on your hip. That's going to give him a heart attack. Our love child is going to kill him." He paced.

My head pounded. "That's not an option."

I could literally see the sweat fall off of him.

I grabbed his shoulders. "Listen to me," I shook him. "Pull yourself together. We give the baby up for adoption and move to Canada."

He shook his head. "I'm not giving my baby up for adoption." He sighed. "Fine. I'll take the baby and we'll live in Mexico until she's eighteen. Joe'll probably be senile by then, right?"

I nodded. "I'm on board with that plan."

My phone rung.

We screamed in terror, our eyes locked.

"Answer it."

My head shook. "What if it's my dad? He can probably feel the cosmic change and he's calling to yell at me."

He grabbed the phone from bag near the sofa, then answered it. "Hey, Caitlin. It's not a good time right-" He stopped talking, a stern look in his eyes. "Okay, don't panic. I'm on my way." He hung up.

My worry peaked. "What happened with Caitlin?"

"Ronnie was in an accident I think. She said something about a gun and some guys trying to take him. They're car hit the side of the building. I have to go." He squeezed my shoulder. "Stay here." He reached for the door.

I stood in his way. "Are you kidding? I'm not staying here. She's one of my best friends. So is Ronnie."

"Iris, I don't have time to argue about this. You're probably not pregnant, but what if you are? What if something happens and you get hurt?"

Not wavering, I stood my ground. "You saw what I can do. I'm coming with you. Now let's go before something even worse happens." I opened the door then grabbed onto his shoulder.

He picked me up and everything was moving super fast.

It took him no time to get to Caitlin's apartment building. The black SUV Barry had to be talking about was several feet from her building. Honestly, it as a little banged up but the car wasn't totaled. Caitlin was moving towards the car. What was she doing? If whoever was in there had an actual gun she ran the risk of getting shot.

Barry set me down on the sidewalk. "Be careful." He ran to the car and dropped Caitlin off beside me before going back.

Caitlin gasped as she saw me, tears in her eyes. "Ronnie's in there."

I hugged her to me. "Barry's going to help him." That's what he did.

"Please, don't let them hurt him." She begged.

My hand rubbed her back. "I won't. Ronnie's going to be okay. I promise."

She nodded. "I called Cisco, he's close. Linda was on her way over to my apartment. They can't get caught in the middle of this." Worry laced her voice.

A gunshot startled us. We stilled for a moment then turned to the car. Ronnie was out of the car, but now seemed to be fighting off the one of his kidnappers who held a gun. Barry was going at it with some chick, but he couldn't catch her. My eyes narrowed as I recognized the hair.

"Peek-a-boo."

"Huh?" Caitlin muttered.

"That's the bitch that stabbed me." I pushed forward, but Caitlin pulled me back.

Worry in her eyes. "Please, let Barry handle it this time."

Two more guys got out of the car and they were headed for Ronnie. He had the gun holder on the ground, but he was about to get jumped.

"I have to help." I gave her a parting glance. "I'll be back." I ran forward.

"Iris!" Caitlin pleaded.

A burly guy saw me coming and tried to slap me out of the way, but I ducked. I punched him in the throat. While he grabbed at his neck, gasping for air, I threw the gun that was tucked into his jeans as far as I could. His big hand slapped me across my face. I tasted blood in my mouth as my temper flared. They weren't taking Ronnie and they were going to get the drop of me. Adrenaline filled me.

My hands drove into his stomach with powerful punches. My foot swiped his from under him, he fell to the ground with a groan. I sensed someone behind me and let my leg roundhouse kick the scrawny son of a bitch. My eyes went to Ronnie, he was still fighting the first guy. I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him back. He pushed me back and punched my in the gut. My eyes narrowed. I swung my fist out and hit him in the face. I grabbed his shoulders and drove my knee into his stomach, then pushed him to the ground.

Ronnie had gone after the burly guy I dropped and in the process the third guy had drawn a gun on him. I hurriedly pushed him out of the way.

BARRY'S POV:

"Iris!" I yelled.

She looked back at me.

The guy a few feet from her kicked back the gun and a blast went off. The exit wound was on her forehead.

"Let's go!" One of the guys yelled.

My heart stopped in my chest as I watched her collapse to the ground. "No!" I ran to her, I scooped her up in my arms, shaking her. "Iris, come on." I begged. "Look at me." This wasn't happening. "No!" I held her face in my hands. "Come on" I cried, tears clouded my vision. "Look at me."

Tires skidded in the background.

Caitlin cried. "No!"

"Iris!" I shook her, determined to have her look at me. Blood oozed from her wound and slid down her face. My chin trembled.

"Barry," Cisco kneeled on the ground before us, a look of distraught on his face. "She's gone."

Her empty eyes staring at nothing. I shook my head. "No, she can't be."

"Stop!" Caitlin screamed and the entire SUV was covered in ice, she pushed Ronnie back as she neared the car.

"Cait, what are you doing?" He demanded.

With a strength I didn't think she had she yanked the car door open and let blasts of ice out of her hand.

"Cait!" Ronnie ran after her.

The guys left remaining hopped out of the car and ran for their lives.

She whirled on Ronnie, not able to control this power. But the ice didn't freeze him. Instead, he aimed fire at her. I stared at them in shock. They were like me. My friends were like me.

"This isn't the way," He told her.

I held Iris close to me, the only thing I could do was hold her as my body shook uncontrollably.

"They killed my best friend!" Caitlin aimed at the running cowards, freezing them mid-run. They screamed in pain before they were cut off by the ice.

We had drawn some civilians and they were running from the mess before us, but she aimed at them, most definitely killing the unlucky few that were closest.

Ronnie scooped her up and pulled her away, flames and ice swirling around them. She kicked and screamed and cried. "They killed her," She sobbed uncontrollably.

"I know." He uttered. "Trust me, I know."

Linda arrived on the scene, she looked at the mess before us. Her hand went to her mouth in horror. "What happened?" She swayed to the side.

Cisco caught her in his arms, his face contorted in pain.

Linda met my eyes as she fell to her knees, she scrambled to me. "Barry,"

I shook my head, my chin wouldn't stop trembling.

"What happened?" She cried.

Cisco hugged her to him and she lost it.

Sirens rang in the background.

Soon enough the police arrived. All I could do was hold her. I heard the voices around me, but I couldn't comprehend them. Not until Eddie stood before me, a look of shock on his face.

"Sir, we need to take the body." The coroner asked, a few police with him.

I stared a few feet ahead. "You can't."

"Those are Joe's kids." Eddie told them.

The look of guilt washed over them.

"We'll give you a minute, son." An officer said.

I nodded mechanically.

When I thought the worst was over, Felicity and Oliver arrived.

"Oh my God, Iris!" Felicity ran towards us in her heels. "No, no, no. Oliver, do something!" She demanded.

He looked at me with shocked eyes. I shook my head. It was too late.

"Oliver!" Felicity looked back at him like he could fix everything.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do." He told her.

My lips went to Iris' cheek, already starting to lose it's warmth. My hand closed her eyes. I couldn't look at them anymore, all dead and empty.

"But..." Felicity started to lose her composure. "There has to be something we can do."

Oliver dragged her up and hugged her as she lost it.

The police were going to take Iris away from me. I'd never be able to hold her like this again. I'd never be able to argue with her, hear her laugh, kiss her. She was dead, our future together was dead, our maybe love child was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it, even with these powers. How was I supposed to go on without her? She was the love of my life. My friend, my family. When Joe finds out it'll push him over the edge with his heart condition and I knew that I would be all alone again. No family. I couldn't go on like that.

Why didn't she just listen to me for once? She risked her life for her friends, protected them with her own. A sliver of pride filled me at the thought of her nobility, her strength. The true nature of her character showed in her last moments, fighting for her friends. Still, it shouldn't have ever happened.

An idea popped into my head as I pieced the parts together. Theoretically, if I ran fast enough I could possibly run back into time. It was a long shot, a stupid idea that probably wouldn't work, but I had to do something. I picked up the body and before I knew what I was doing I started to run. And I didn't stop.

A/N: Before you all go Jackie Chan on my ass, I promise you this is not the last chapter. You can PM me if you have any questions or leave a comment. Letting out your anger is accepted, but please remember to not be rude with your comments. There's no worse feeling than spending time writing something then having people carelessly shit on your story because they didn't like what happened. If you don't like where this is going, I encourage you to stop reading. Do keep in mind, I'm long from finished with this fic.


	31. What Is Love

The song for this chapter is V Bozeman - What Is Love

BARRY'S POV:

With a startle, I skidded a few feet in the alley by the hospital. My eyes scanned around me, finding no one in sight. My heart pounded in my chest as I realized what I just did. I actually went back in time, otherwise, Iris would still be in my arms. Not knowing exactly how far I went back I rushed to the receptionist's desk.

"Hi. Joe West, is he still a patient here?"

When she told me what number room he was in I wasn't exactly filled with confidence. Anyhow, I rushed up there to find Eddie standing in by the room while he rubbed his head in frustration. I didn't know why, but I rushed to hug him.

"Woah, Allen." He gave a chuckle. "Nice to see you, too." He patted me on the back then pushed me off gingerly. He took in my frazzled state. "Joe's going to be okay, you know. He's in surgery right now."

Iris' news came to mind. According to the doctors, he had a heart condition. We still didn't know how manageable it was, so I shouldn't worry, but it was hard not to. I just saw Iris die in front of me.

Again, I pulled Eddie towards me for another hug.

"Geez. You're affectionate. Should I be worried?" He asked.

I pulled away with a laugh.

"Hey, what's going on here?" A familiar voice asked.

My body stilled in place while my heart hammered a million beats per second. I turned to her, my eyes scanned her up and down. She was standing in front of me, alive. Beautiful as ever.

"Nothing," I answered.

She walked the short distance to us with a short sigh. Her big eyes looked up at me with worry. "What happened with my dad?"

My eyes locked on her brown eyes. "He's okay. He was shot in the shoulder. He's in surgery right now."

A sigh of relief escaped her as she rested her forehead against my chest. My hand found the small of her back, holding her to me. I realized that Caitlin and Ronnie were standing together, giving us some space.

"I'm going to get coffee. Anybody want any?" Eddie asked.

"I do." Iris tried to pull away, but I wouldn't let her. She gave me a weird look when I refused to let her leave my side.

I looked up at Eddie. "Iris and I need to talk."

He nodded then walked down the hall.

My hand entwined with hers. She gave me the cutest half grin, hope in her brown eyes. "Let's talk a walk." I tugged her forward. "We'll be back in a few minutes." I told Caitlin and Ronnie.

They looked at us like we were the cutest thing. We were about to be the farthest thing from it. My brain panicked and the only solution I knew that could change the course of events was if I pushed Iris away. I mean, really pushed her away. Now was the time to do what I should've done. Granted this was the worst possible version of events I pictured besides Iris being dead, but at least there was a chance she wouldn't end up with a bullet to the head.

We stopped in the alleyway that I first landed at a few minutes ago. I pulled my hand away from hers as I quickly mentally prepared myself for this. I could do this, I could hurt her enough to change the future. Right?

She looked at me with a trace of a grin on her lips. "Barry, what's this about?"

I stared at her. Fuck I couldn't do this. A image of her bloody face popped in my head.

My jaw hardened. "Iris, there's something I need to tell you and I know you're not going to like it."

Her forehead creased. "Okay. What is it?"

With a sigh I looked to the side of the building, as if it would give me the courage to do this. "There was this girl in Starling City. Oliver has a sister." My eyes met hers, seeing the anger rising in hers. "We sort of had sex."

Her jaw clenched. "Thea."

I nodded. "Yeah, with Thea." Drive it home. "But it was more than sex to me." I hoped she couldn't detect the lie in my voice because I was looking her dead in the face. "I miss her. She was there for me and we really connected. I keep thinking about her when I'm with you. I couldn't lie to you anymore."

Her eye twitched and all I could do was stand while her fist flashed out and punched me square in the face.

"Iris," I grabbed her arm before she could walk completely away.

She tore away from my grasp and threw another punch, I was a little bit proud that they really hurt. "Don't touch me." She stormed off.

"Where are you going?" I called.

"Fuck off."

I couldn't believe that I had to do that. A true moment of happiness was too much to ask from the universe. My hand flashed out and hit the nearest wall.

IRIS' POV:

Fuck Barry Allen and the horse he rode in on. I marched into the hospital, avoiding the people I knew. I needed some sugar. How dare he? I didn't deserve this. I pinned for his white ass for four months only to find that he was hooking up with Thea? What the actual fuck?

Before I could stop myself my foot kicked through the vending machine. The lights flickered. I didn't mean to Mayweather the machine. I pulled my foot free and against my better judgement, I reached inside the hole and grabbed a honey bun. Well, like four and some chocolate donuts.

The lights flickered for a few moments until it was pitch black.  
"What is going on?"

My eyes adjusted and a sense of deja vu hit me.

What if my dad was in some deep surgery and the doctors couldn't see and they cut him all open? Or what if he's fine and stuck in the elevator and he dies before the power comes back on? Or...I don't know!

I broke into a sprint. I'd only gone so far until I was thrown into the air, I fell to the ground with a thud. I snapped my head up only to see a dark shape a few feet away. If I had been the same person as I was months ago I would've called out for help, for Barry. That wasn't going to happen ever again. I could take care of myself, I didn't need anyone to protect me. Least of all an ass that lead me on and made me wonder if he was alive for months, knowing how I felt about him.

I popped up. He punched me in the stomach. He kicked my thigh and went for my throat, cutting off my air supply as he held me in the air. I struggled for air, making it hard to move my muscles. Quickly, I kicked my feet out, hitting his chest. His grip fell as he stumbled back. I sucked in air before grabbing his outfit in my fists. My eyes had really adjusted so I could make out the strong jaw and full mouth. He wore an eye mask, but brown eyes stared back at me.

"You really couldn't have picked a better time." I punched his face as hard as I could.

He smirked then kicked me back so I fell on my back. He was ontop of me, his hips held me down as he stabbed me in the side with something then legit disappeared into the darkness.

I scrambled to my feet, checking my body for a stab wound, but found none. So I was a metahuman? This was proof that I wasn't crazy. Last night I went to bed with a stomach wound and this morning I'm all better. What the fuck just happened? I had come to not question why people did half the dumb things they did, but I'd keep a look out for this guy.

A few moments later the lights came back on. Instead of going to check on everyone I went to the bathroom. I had to see that there was no wound. Before pulling my shirt up I said a little prayer that I wasn't actually crazy. My hand ran over the skin, not feeling anything. This was crazy. I stared at myself. _Don't give him the satisfaction of crying,_ I ordered.

I pulled out my phone. She answered on the fourth ring. "Felicity," I gave a wry grin. "I need a girl talk."

"Of course." She rushed out. "Oliver and I are staying at a hotel in town. We're on the way to talk to Barry."

My eyes couldn't help but roll. "When you do could you punch him for me?"

She was quiet for a moment before saying, "Oh, no. You know."

My forehead creased. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"Iris, it wasn't my place to tell. Barry had to tell you."

I couldn't even be mad at her because she was right.

"We can talk more when we get there."

"Sure."

We hung up.

My hand massaged my temple. With a groan, I opened the door and ran into Eddie.

He gave an awkward chuckle. "Hey,"

"Hey,"

His eyes scanned my face. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged. "I guess." My hand ran over my face. "I'm worried about my dad."

His brow lifted. "And Barry."

I gave him a look. "No, why would say that?"

He pointed from the direction he came from. "You must not have been on the east wing. Something bad happened between you two?" Concern in his voice.

We walked a little down the hall. "He's an ass puts it mildly."

He nodded. "He stills loves you."

"Turns out that wasn't enough."

I didn't know what i was going to do. I didn't want to sleep under the same roof as him. Maybe Felicity would let me stay with her.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. Weren't you about to use the bathroom?"

He waved it off. "It can wait."

Wanting to hug him, I stopped and crushed him in a bear hug. "Thank you for being you. I miss hanging out with you."

"Me, too." He pulled away. "Let's get you some food."

I nodded. "I just have to make a call first."

BARRY'S POV:

Cisco followed me down the hall as I fumed. "What happened between you and Iris?"

The whole thing was in my head on repeat. I didn't know how to deal with this. I knew enough about science to know that telling people about the future or the would be future was a big no no. Who could I talk to about this if I couldn't tell anyone?

"Barry?"

My hand rested above me on the wall while I tried to calm down in the corner. How could things be this fucked up? Why could Iris and I be happy together?

"Barry?" His voice rose.

I turned to him, my jaw clenched, tears in my eyes.

"What happened? Maybe I can help."

My head shook, I wiped at my eyes with my sleeve. "No, there's nothing you can do."

He nodded. "Did you have a fight?"

Did we have a fight? Did I just break her heart and her trust in me? Yes and yes. And the worst wasn't over.

"She hates me." I told him.

He shrugged. "She doesn't hate you. You can't hate someone you're in love with. She can be mad at you all she wants, but she could never hate you. You mean too much to her. And she's going to be there for you no matter what."

Not what I needed to hear right now. I needed her far from Central City. I didn't know what else to do because what if the same events played out and she still ended up at the scene in front of Caitlin's apartment? There was no way I could watch her die again.

"Maybe you should give her some space. You can stay at my place if you want. My parents won't mind, they love you."

I sighed. "Thanks, but I don't think that'll do the trick."

He gave me a weird look. "Huh?"

"Nothing." My hand reached for my phone. "I need to make a call."

CAITLIN'S POV:

Ronnie and I sat in the waiting room to give Barry and Iris some space. I leaned against his big, strong shoulder.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

My hand tightened around his arm. "No." He was warm enough for the both of us.

He looked down at me and I hadn't realized that my mouth was against his arm until his eyes flared and a half grin came to his mouth. He reached down and placed me in his lap with ease.

My eyes widened. There were people around and he chose now to get cocky. My hand went to his chest to balance myself, instead I felt his steady heartbeat. My eyes found his and of course a blush rose.

He grinned. "You're freezing."

"I'm not cold." I tried to get up but his hands on my waist tightened. "You don't have to baby me."

"Maybe I just like having you in my lap."

My brow rose. Images from that night flashed through my mind. Every painfully erotic detail. How he filled me up, how I didn't feel like it was just a result of a drunken night gone too far. That meant a lot to me. And I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it continuously. Everything was confusing. Ever since Ronnie came into my life that's all it's been. Maybe the worst part was that I didn't have an answer for him while he patiently waited for me to figure out my sexuality and whether or not I wanted to risk our friendship to be with him. I had to hand it to him, he'd been extremely accommodating, knowing that those were very big decisions.

Then there were times like this where he openly showcased his thoughts and desires, and I didn't know how to handle them. Sure, it felt amazing being on his lap. But was that really worth ruining a friendship over if things turned south? He'd become really important to me.

My eyes met his hesitantly. "Maybe you shouldn't?" I whispered.

His blue eyes searched mine. "Why shouldn't I?"

I sighed. This wasn't easy to say. "Because I don't want you to wait around for me while I figure things out."

His hands tightened on my hips. "You're worth the wait, Cait."

My insides softened. I let my hand reach up and play with his hair, my eyes on his. "Ronnie," My eyes went to his mouth, remembering how good they made me feel. "I can't let you do that." He tried to protest, but I laid a finger on his lips. "I can't let you do that. You're such an amazing guy. There's way more depth to you than meets the eye and I'm glad that I got to see all of it." I bit my bottom lip. "But you can't put your life on pause while I try to figure out mine."

His forehead creased and I wanted to smooth out the wrinkles. "You want me to move on from you so things can go back to how they were before? Is that it?"

Did I want that? Did I want him to look at another girl how he looked at me? Did I want him to touch someone else how he touched me? Absolutely not. But did I want to keep our friendship in tact? Most definitely.

I nodded even though I was scared. "Yeah, that's what I want you to do."

He let that sink in for a moment. With a distinct nod, he picked me up from his lap and gave me a parting glance before he walked away.

As much as I wanted to race after him, as much as I wanted him to love me like he did that night so long ago, I stood my ground. Maybe this was for the best. We could focus more on our friendship, more on his abilities. And not to mention, I really missed Iris lately. Maybe I could convince her to slow down on this whole crime fighting mission.

IRIS' POV:

Eddie ushered me down the halls. "He's awake."

Relief flooded me.

We rounded the corner and saw everyone standing outside the room, chatting.

With a sigh, I mentally toughened up, and headed into the room where my dad waited. Of course, Barry was by his side. Seeing him brought back everything from earlier and all I could was stare at him. The bastard broke my heart.

My eyes went to my dad, "Hey," I went to his other side and grabbed his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Never better." He offered a weak grin.

I nodded. "So the surgery went as planned. When can you come home?"

He cleared his throat. "They want to keep me another day or two. Make sure I'm okay." He looked out to the hall, not meeting my eyes. "Enough about me. How are you guys?"

"Are you going to be out of here by Christmas?" I asked.

"I don't know."

My forehead creased. "Why don't you know?" My voice rose.

"Iris," Barry warned.

My eyes burned into his. "What?" All the anger and mistrust I had earlier manifested again.

"Getting mad won't change anything." His eyes warned.

"You should've been there!" Accusation heavy in my voice. "What else were you doing? Or who else?"

My dad cleared his throat again. "That's enough."

I shook my head in protest. "No, dad. Barry's supposed to be the protector of the city. Where was he? Huh?"

My dad looked between us with narrowed eyes. "Alright, what's going on between you two?"

My eyes never left Barry's. "Absolutely nothing." I said with finality.

His green eyes seemed to catch on to what I meant and his jaw clenched in frustration.

"Barry?" My dad asked.

His eyes narrowed as if he had decided something. "Actually, Joe, there was something I have to tell you."

My eyes widened as butterflies twirled in my stomach. "Barry,"

He ignored me and put his hand on my dad's shoulder. "It's only because I thought I could handle it that I didn't tell you,"

"Barry," I pleaded.

My dad couldn't find out. He'd kill me for sure.

He briefly met my eyes. "You're daughter has been roaming the streets playing vigilante."

I stared at him incredulously. How could he betray me like that? The look on my dad's face was enough to invoke some tears.

"She's been training with Oliver and at Linda's parents gym, learning how to fight. She kept it a secret from you and from me. She's been lying to us for who knows how long? I told her to stay out of it, but she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. Maybe she'll listen to you."

My dad just looked at me with flared eyes and I'd never felt more like a failure in my life. "Dad, it's not-"

"It's not what?" He all but yelled. "It's not what I think?" He slowly rose in his bed. "Have you or haven't you been running around the city, risking your life, to try and help people?"

My head hung as the tears fell down my face. I nodded.

"Answer me, young lady." He demanded.

Embarrassment filled me on top of the shame. "Yes, sir. I have." My eyes met his. "I wanted to help people, like you do."

He scoffed. "I help people by following the law, not running around in some little suit and beating up bad guys."

"But dad, I can save people. I've already done it a few times."

"But at what cost? I don't want you out there with all that violence."

My annoyance rose. "But-  
He gave me a stern look. "But nothing. You will not live under my house and be a vigilante, do you understand me?"

I stared at him like he had lost his mind. "But what about Barry? I'm your _daughter_."

"Barry is a hero, he has superpowers, you could die out there, Iris." He argued.

My arms folded across my chest. "I'm just as capable as Barry and with more training I could really do some good."

He shook his head, dead set on my not living this life. "I will not allow it."

My body tensed as I admitted, "I won't stop."

He looked pained, but still said, "Then you don't live in my house anymore."

My heart hammered in my chest as I looked between the two of them. "Excuse me?"

Barry looked pleased with himself, like he'd won. Was this all some sick game to him? All of this time had he been playing me? He wanted a final story to tell his jock friends, about how he had gotten me to fall for him even after he'd shamed me for ten years straight. He probably organized his disappearance, just to get away from me. And he probably really loved Thea. He'd infiltrated my life, my friends, my house, and my family.

"You heard me, young lady. You live in my house, you follow my rules."

Disappointment filled me as I gave a curt nod. "Then I guess, I don't live under your roof anymore." I gave them a final look before I headed for the door.

"Iris, wait," My dad called, but I ignored him.

Caitlin rose from her seat and came after me with Linda and Felicity on her heels.

"You don't look okay," Linda said.

Caitlin smacked her arm.

"What happened?" Felicity asked.

I didn't say a word until I pushed the nearest side door open and were were surrounded by the bitter cold and darkness. I looked at my friends, completely grateful that I had them, knowing that I probably wouldn't see them for a long time.

"I'm leaving."

They all gave a collective, "What?"

I had to look away, because if I saw they're caring eyes I wouldn't be able to stop from breaking down. "I have to go."

Caitlin stepped forward. "What? Why?"

I shook my head, still not meeting her eyes. "There's nothing for me here anymore."

"So we don't matter enough for you to stay, is that it?" Linda accused.

"No, of course that's not it. I just need to get away."

"Iris," Caitlin started. "Look at me when I'm talking to you,"

My eyes hesitantly met hers. "What?"

"Your dad is in the hospital and you want to leave? What about us? What about Barry?"

"What about you, huh?" My voice rose. "None of you support my decision to help defend this city. My dad kicked me out of the house and Barry wants to continue his relationship with Thea!"

They stared at me in shock.

"So tell me why I'm staying here?"

Linda stepped forward. "Because we're your friends. You can stay with us, you don't have to leave."

I nodded. "Thanks for the offer, but," I looked them both in the eyes. "I can't stay here. I can't walk by my dad and Barry every day and pretend that everything isn't shit." I sighed, knowing that this would hurt Caitlin more than Linda. I grabbed one of their hands and squeezed. "I never thought I'd have friends and then Barry left and you both embraced me. Some more than others."

Caitlin and Linda shared a look with a small laugh, their eyes tearing up.

"You both were there for me when I needed you the most and I'll never forget it." I gave a weak grin, wanting to be brave for them. "But I have to do this, I have to go."

"Where are you going to go?" Caitlin asked, worry in her voice.

A tiny grin came to my face. "I have a friend." I looked to Felicity.

She grinned.

"I'll be fine, I promise."

They pulled me close for what was supposed to be a hug, but instead was a smush Iris circle.

"I'll call you everyday." Caitlin promised.

Linda nodded, still crying. "We'll come see you."

I grinned. "Okay, bring Cisco and Ronnie."

They nodded.

Felicity walked with me and it wasn't until a car pulled up beside us that I realized she must've called for one of Oliver's cars to pick us up. "We can leave tonight." She said.

Perfect.

When we got to my house, if you could even call it that anymore, I opened the car door for myself.

"I'll just wait here." Felicity said.

I nodded.

In fifteen minutes I decided what defined me as a person and I left it in the room. I only took the essentials. The quicker I got out of here the better. Part of me wanted to take a minute and look around my room and remember how it was, but that wouldn't do me any good. Instead, I headed down the stairs and grabbed a stationary and pen to write my dad a goodbye note.

The front door opened.

"Felicity, I'm almost ready." I announced from the kitchen.

"I think it's amazing that you can just run away without a goodbye."

My eyes found Barry standing in the doorway. I silently cursed my friends.

"What do you care? At least now you can have as much sex with Thea as you want without worrying about my hearing you. You can live guilt free now." I smirked as I ripped off the paper and slammed it on the kitchen table. "Isn't that what you wanted?" I pushed past him.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his body, those angry green eyes bore into mine. "For the record, this is not what I wanted." His eyes scanned my face, like he was trying to remember it. "And you know that."

"You could've fooled me." I yanked away, disgusted to even be this close to him. I headed for the door, my bag slung over my shoulder. "Take care of my dad, Allen." I shut the door and stopped on the porch for a moment. The cold air visible in front of my face. This was something I never thought I had to go through and I never thought I'd be strong enough to leave my home, my friends, my dad, or Barry. My eyes went to the border where my porch ended and the real world started.

With a look back I revised the situation. Did I really have to leave? Couldn't I just stay with Caitlin or Linda? I knew deep down I couldn't, not when the reminder would be too painful, not when we all were centered around Barry. Not when I couldn't do any more growth here. So, no. I couldn't stay. I knew the car was waiting on the street, ready to take me to a new chapter.

I looked ahead and took the step forward.

Felicity gave me a sullen look when I slid into the seat. "For the record, I didn't tell Barry that you were leaving town. I told Oliver who then told Barry."

I waved it off. "Felicity," I buckled up, then looked straight ahead. "I'm going to be fine without Barry Allen. He doesn't define me. I define me." I looked to her and gave a small grin. "I'm going to be okay."

She nodded, her hand reached out to mine.

I took hers and squeezed.

A/N: Definitely not the last chapter, I promise. Thanks for the read. Please leave any comments, questions, or concerns. :) Have a nice day yall.


	32. Hit Me Like A Man

The song for this chapter is The Pretty Reckless - Hit Like A Man

CISCO'S POV:

I sat on my bed as I watched Linda pace the room, which she had been doing for like thirty minutes. "Why are you so worried about this?" I asked her again.

She stopped to look at me. "Because Iris has been gone for a week and tomorrow is New Year's Day."

Not that I didn't miss Iris, but I didn't see how the two were related. "Your point?"

She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Cisco, have you seen Barry lately? You know, the walking talking zombie we sometimes hang out with."

My hand dragged down my face in annoyance. "Barry made his bed, Linda."

She came to the foot of the bed, her hands placed into the mattress. "I don't care what Barry told Iris, he does not have feelings for this Thea girl. We all know it."

I shrugged. "Maybe not, but Barry made the decision to push Iris away for some reason. We have to respect that."

She gave me a look. "Not even. They deserve to be together."

A groan left me, which even surprised me. But I was sick of hearing about this. It was like she cared more about Barry then me half the time.

"Not everyone is supposed to be together just because you want them to be."

Her brow creased, obviously picking up the sting in my voice. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that every relationship runs its course. Maybe they're not supposed to be together."

She looked down after searching my eyes. "Is this about the Barry thing?" her voice was small.

"Isn't it always?"

Without looking at me she grabbed her coat and purse of the couch and headed outside

"Why are you leaving?" I went after her.

"Because I thought you were over that, Cisco." She slammed her car door as she got in.

I leaned down to the window, trying to make her understand. "He's my best friend. He's always going to be between us." I didn't know how else to say it but it had to be said. I knew that she didn't have feelings for Barry, but I started to see that she cared a little more about him than she did me.

"I get that but not like this, Cisco. I don't like worrying about the two of you,"

My head hurt. "What-what are you talking about?"

She gave me a look. "The sixth grade. What are you talking about?"

"You caring more about Barry than us."

Her forehead creased as she got a far away look in her eyes. "Oh. That makes more sense." She started the car. "Well, I should be going now. I have a shift at the gym."

My hand reached for the keys and pulled them out. "We're really back to that?"

With a huff she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, actually, we are. The fact that you wanted to pretend like it didn't happen is beyond me."

I pulled her into a kiss, letting her know that I still very much wanted her. When i pulled away she looked dazed. "Let the sixth grade go. I'm focused on now, on us."

She nodded.

IRIS' POV:

"Again." Laurel demanded while she held her bamboo stick.

We were the only ones in this dusty old gym.

I crouched over all out of breath. "I need a moment."

Before I could stand up she threw her stick down, only I rolled out of the way just in time for it to smack off the floor. My hands grabbed my stick as I looked to her.

"What are you doing?" I backed up.

She came after me, the stick dipping and dodging in the air, trying to hit me.

I blocked her attacks as best as I could. "Laurel!"

She had that cold gleam in her eyes that told me she was in full on teacher mode. Her movements were quick and precise. She was all strong arms and legs. Sweat dripped off her face and down her neck, disappearing into her cleavage. My moment of distraction was enough to give her the advantage, she knocked my feet from under me. I landed on my back with a thud, the wind knocked out of me.

"Get up." She instructed when I stayed there.

My eyes focused on the ceiling, black beams and chords. This was my life now. Always getting knocked down, getting the shit beat out of me, and pushing past my comfort zones. Maybe everyone was right. I'd been living here, training with Laurel, for a week. Honestly, I didn't know if it was making a difference. I felt the same, all confused and filled with sorrow.

"This was a mistake." I whispered.

A moment later she appeared above me, much like she did when Peek-a-boo stabbed me. This time there was no mask, no red lipstick or bleach blonde wig. Only a sweaty face and a french braid hanging from her shoulder.

"You'll get better. It takes time, longer than a week."

I sighed as my hand ran over my wet face. "What if I'm not cut out for this? What if this was some silly notion I wanted to focus on because I graduated high school and I have no idea what I want to do with my life? What if everyone was right?" I sat up.

She sat down beside me, her body faced mine. An understanding look in her eyes as she stared into mine. "I've been where you are. I was done with being a victim, watching others around me saving people while I was weak. So you know what I did?"

My head shook. I really didn't know much about her besides that she was the District Attorney for Starling City and that she was close to Felicity and Oliver. Her dad was a detective, trying to work his way up and her sister was dead. She didn't like to get too personal with the details and I didn't feel comfortable asking Felicity and Oliver about her.

A small grin came to her lips. "I started boxing like you."

It was nice to know we had a little in common, I was starting to think she really didn't like me.

"So how long did it take you to get here?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Longer than I care to admit. When I first put on that Black Canary suit I knew I was in over my head, but I had to do it. And I wasn't going to let Oliver stop me."

My forehead creased. "Oliver didn't want you to be out there with him? You guys work great together."

She nodded. "It wasn't always that way. Oliver and I use to date," She seemed really uncomfortable admitting that to me. "Like Barry, Oliver didn't want me around that. When my dad found out he wouldn't speak to me for a long time." She smirked. "But I wasn't backing down, no matter how many times he begged and yelled. It was my call, my life, and this was something I had to do." She looked back at me. "I work in law and I help put the bad guys away, but being out there helping people feels completely different. Actively saving people is extremely rewarding and if I die helping someone then at least I went out brave." She rose and headed for the lockers.

That was the most she's said to me since the week I've been here. I hadn't realized we were so much alike and it was comforting to know that I wasn't alone in this.

I followed her. "So you don't think I'm making a mistake?"

She pulled on a black fluffy coat. "If I thought you were making a mistake I wouldn't waste my time training you."

Well, that restored my confidence.

I grabbed my bag, I thought about what she said. Doing this was important to me, but I didn't want to lose my dad in the process. We hadn't spoken since I left, the only way I knew he was okay was through my Caitlin updates. The hardest part was missing Christmas, I really wanted to turn back around and beg for forgiveness and ask for my room back, just to be surrounded by family and friends. Well, I could do without Barry.

We headed out into the bitter cold that froze you to the bone just by stepping outside. I followed her to her car.

"Maybe you should go visit." Laurel said, drawing my attention back to her. "It's New Year's Eve, Iris."

My head shook. "I can't. If I go home now then I'll back down." I met her eyes. "And I don't want to give up yet."

She stared at me for a long moment before nodding. "Barry really missed out."

My eyes went to the side as my jaw clenched. "Yeah, he did." I bit into my lip in frustration. I rolled my eyes. "He's off trolloping with Thea."

She cracked a grin. "I think you mean frolicking."

"No, I meant trolloping."

We laughed and it was a nice moment. Maybe the first time I'd heard her laugh.

She turned to me as she unlocked the car. "Thea isn't that bad, a little too sultry for her own good, but she's nice once you get to know her."

I gave her a look as I slid into the passenger seat. "Bitch slept with my man and stole him." Obviously, he wasn't mine to steal.

She started the car. "The way I heard it, Barry was really hung up on you the entire time he was here. I really don't know why he'd sleep with Thea. It's obvious he likes a little hot chocolate."

All I could do was stare at her because I never heard her make a joke, let alone one about me.

She gave me a look. "What? You're very attractive, Barry obviously has taste on me."

My brow rose. "Thanks,"

There was some awkward silence and I didn't know whether to comment on it or not.

After a moment she asked if I was going back to the house or somewhere else. I chose somewhere else. I felt like I was intruding on Felicity and Oliver's lives. They were close to maybe being something great and it was like every time they were having a moment I seemed to inconveniently come in.

Laurel dropped me off at a nearby trail. "Hey," She said as I opened the car door.

I looked back as I pulled the door shut.

"I'll see you tonight at Oliver's New Year's celebration bash." The over the top excitement dripped from her voice.

An iffy expression planted on my face. "I don't think so. I'm not really in a party mood."

Her brow rose. "Then this is exactly what you need."

"I'm not ready, Laurel."

She looked straight ahead before speaking, "Barry's moved on. Maybe it's time you do the same."

I opened the door again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Iris, wait." She called as I walked away.

Soon I was on walking down the beautiful trail with my hands in my windbreakers pockets. I found this trail a few days ago, it didn't seem to be well used, which I was glad for. It was hard to be lost in thought with other people around. Being around Felicity and Oliver was a lot, so some peace and quiet was really nice. The down side, I was left alone with my thoughts. Thoughts about a certain someone.

You could say I wasn't ready to talk about Barry Allen. I could hate him all I wanted, but talk about him? Nope. Whenever Caitlin or Linda tried to bring him up I shut them down. No part of me wanted to know how he was doing. Okay, maybe a tiny part of me, but I could suffocate that part until it died. If knew if I let myself really think about him then I wouldn't be able to move on. If he was doing well and with Thea then I didn't want to know. The knowing would hurt worse than a stab wound.

That was enough about Barry for today. I couldn't exactly focus on him for too long, it wasn't healthy. All I could was hope that one day things wouldn't be so bad between us.

I broke out into a sprint with the wind whipping past me, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders as I rounded a turn. The peaceful tranquility out here was my therapy. Just the trees, dirt, and me.

Something hard knocked into me and it wasn't until I heard a manly grunt that I realized it was a guy. I fell on my ass. My eyes settled on a tall, muscular build, a strong jaw and longish sandy blonde hair.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I reached to help him.

He turned his cinnamon brown eyes on me. "I, uh," He gave a nervous chuckle. "I didn't see you there." His full lips said, his brown locks fell into his face, his big manly hand pushed it back.

A tiny grin came to my lips. "It's okay." I stood to my feet. I held out a hand to help him, when he took it I felt a sense of familiarity course through me. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

He shook his head. "I would remember meeting you." He had this cute chin dimple that kept demanding my attention.

I gave a friendly grin as I looked ahead. "Sorry about that." I jogged away without a word. No more hot guys for a while. All I needed to do was focus on me. What was my next step? I knew I definitely wanted to stay in Starling City. The change in scenery was nice. Maybe this city has more to offer than just a training ground. If I wanted to seriously consider staying then I needed my own place. Sure, I was young, but I couldn't live in Oliver's hide away house forever. In order to even think about moving out on my own I sort of needed some income. While I was sure I could get Caitlin to get me a transfer at Jitters, I didn't think that was the best option. All in due time, I told myself.

BARRY'S POV:

"Alright, Barry," Dr. Wells said from the other side of the glass panel. "What's going on with you?"

I stopped running on the treadmill Cisco designed to handle my speeds. "What do you mean? Are my levels too high?" I came to stand by him. My eyes on the monitors, but everything seemed fine.

He looked up at me from his wheelchair. "I mean, your head has been somewhere else lately. You've been here, but you haven't been present."

Being that I hadn't initially trusted Dr. Wells to help me figure out my abilities I didn't share much with him about my personal life. Ever since Iris left it was like everyone knew to give me some space, except Dr. Wells.

"I don't know. I guess..." I huffed. I grabbed a nearby chair. Wells was probably the only one I could talk to this about, he was a man of science. Maybe he'd have some prospective. "I changed the future. I screwed with time and now time is screwing with me. Iris-"

"Stop right there before you cause another disruption of the time line." He gave me a stern look.

My elbows rested on my knees. "Please, Dr. Wells." I sighed. "I have to talk to someone."

He gave me a sad look before saying, "Go ahead."

Where did I start?

"In the previous timeline Iris and I had a huge fight and we made up in a really big way." I hoped he'd understand what I was getting at. I couldn't say it much less bare to think about it too long or I'd go crazy.

He nodded, gave a wave for me to continue.

"And Ronnie was in danger so I flashed us over there. Iris being Iris got involved and before I could save her she was shot in the head. There was nothing I could do to save her, besides this. I had to drive her away, it was the only way to keep her safe. Now she hates me and Iris was the one to initiate...you know." My eyes drifted to the floor.

"Now Iris has no idea she confessed those feelings."

I nodded. "But she still has them, right?"

"It sounds like it took an apparent course of events to jarr those feelings, Barry. Without those events those feelings remain deeper down."

My chest felt heavy. Heartbroken was the right word, it wasn't accurate enough. I hated what I had to do to Iris, lie to her, betray her by telling Joe her secret. That was the absolute worse night of my life. When she died I had no doubt in my mind that she knew I loved her. Now there was every doubt that she thought I was over her and onto Thea. I didn't think it was possible to miss somebody this much, to crave their smile, to hear their laughter in the wind. I dreamt about her every night, about us together. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake Iris West. Maybe it was for her own safety.

"I know you don't want to hear this, Barry," He looked me in the eyes, "But if you care about Iris then you'll let her go."

How do you let someone go who was apart of you? It'd be like losing a piece of yourself.

"It's New Year's Eve, how about we call it a night." He patted my shoulder. "Tell Joe I said Happy New Year's."

I rose from the chair and gathered my things. "You could tell him yourself. We're having a small party at the house. Just a few of us."

He gave an appreciative grin. "Thanks, but I have some more work I have to do."

"Come on, Dr. Wells. It's the holidays."

He gave a clipped laugh. "No, it's quite alright. I'm really no good around people this time of the year."

I knew he was referring to his dead wife, so I didn't push it.

"Alright, I'll see you later. Thanks for the advice."

He grinned. "No problem, Barry. Any time."

When I got home the house was filled with laughter and a sports talk while my dad and Eddie watched the game. Caitlin and Linda gossiped in the corner. I found Cisco and Ronnie in the kitchen arguing about something.

"What are you guys doing?"

They turned to me.

"Please tell Ronnie that he can't forcibly drag Iris back here." Cisco demanded.

My forehead creased. "Uh," What was happening. "Cisco's right." I looked to Ronnie. "Iris made the choice to leave, bringing her back here wouldn't help anything."

He had a sad look in his eyes. "But I miss her. We all miss her. You miss her."

I blinked a few times then said, "Yeah, I do, but she's safe with Oliver. We don't need to worry about her. She's happy over there."

Ronnie cocked his head to the side. "Since when do you care if she's happy?"

I gave him a look. "Excuse me?"

He stepped towards me. "You drove her away, you lied to her, we all know it. You made sure she wasn't happy so she would have no choice but to leave."

"So what if I did? She's safe now, that's all that matters."

Linda and Caitlin came into the kitchen.

"What's going on in here?" Caitlin asked.

Cisco pushed us apart.

"Nothing." Ronnie walked away.

We heard the front door close a few seconds later. Caitlin went after him.

Cisco looked at me cautiously.

"What?" I all but yelled.

"You know, Iris was our friend too, Barry." He walked past Linda.

I huffed. "Yeah, I know."

Now everyone was mad at me. Just great.

I stayed in the kitchen for a moment, trying to compose myself. I couldn't face Joe all teary eyed. He needed to see me strong right now. A lot of his recovery had to do with not upsetting him too much or his heart would act up.

The doorbell rang and I wondered why Caitlin or Ronnie would bother to ring it.

I headed toward the door as Linda opened it. She stood in the doorway for a moment too long, staring at the guy who was staring back at her.

"Wally?" I asked.

He looked away from Linda to meet my gaze. He looked surprised. "Barry?"

Linda moved out of the way so he could come in. He set his suitcase and bag down.

"Look at you, not so scrawny anymore, are you?" He teased.

I grinned. "I could say the same about you." I pulled him in for quick hug. "What are you doing here?" I looked to Joe.

He looked just as surprised as me as he stood. "Does your mom know you're here?"

Wally hugged him. "I'm not a kid anymore, Uncle Joe. I can come visit my favorite uncle if I want to."

Joe chuckled. "Am I your favorite because I used to send the most Christmas presents?"

Wally laughed. "Of course." He looked around. "Where's Iris?"

A sad silence fell on the room.

"What?" He asked. "Is she okay?"

Joe nodded. "Yes, she just doesn't live here anymore."

"Oh," Wally looked around the house. "Is she close? I wanted to see her. It's been awhile."

Joe got that same empty look in his eyes that I got whenever anyone brought up Iris being gone. I hadn't meant for my love for Iris to affect his relationship with her. I'm sure if I told him he'd understand, but there was no need to.

"Wally," I stepped forward. "Iris moved to Starling City."

He made a face. "Oh." He seemed to grasp that this was tough subject for us all to talk about so he dropped it. "Well, I wanted to spend some time with my uncle, hope you don't mind." His gaze fell on Linda.

I saw Cisco's eyes narrow at the interaction and I grinned.

"Not at all." Joe said. "You can sleep in Iris' room for the time being."

"Great." Wally headed upstairs with his bags.

Joe gave me a joyful look. "You'll be glad to know that I'm officially taking a leave of absence from work."

"What? Is Captain Singh forcing you to because he can't do that."

He raised a hand. "No, it was my decision. I need some time off to think about some things and I'm not good to Eddie with one arm." He pointed to his shoulder cast.

"I'm getting a new partner." Eddie announced from the couch, clearly excited.

Joe gave him a look.

Eddie drew in some of the excitement. "I mean, he's not going to be as awesome as Joe." He focused back on the tv. "I invited him over tonight. He's new in the business like me."

Joe rolled his eyes, but we all knew he was just jealous because his old partner was getting a temporary new one. He went to sit back on the couch.

I walked over to Linda. "Are you mad at me, too?"

She folded her arms across her chest without a word.

I nodded. "I get it, okay. I drove Iris away, but I had to."

"Why?" She still wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I can't tell you that, just trust that I made the right decisions."

She looked at me and it was as if she embodied everyone's anger at me. "The problem is I'm beginning to doubt your decisions, Barry."

"It's not like I wanted to hurt her. Besides, some part of Iris wanted to leave." I defended.

She gave a wry laugh. "Well, you could've let her go without being an ass." She headed towards the kitchen.

There were too many people in here that hated me at the moment so I made my way outside on the porch. I thought about the times we shared on this porch when she still didn't know I was The Flash. That argument after I told her she didn't know if The Flash was a good guy or not. When I dropped her off here a few times. How could you miss someone so much when they hated you?

I sat on the bench, hoping that something would lead her here. Maybe she'd come back to see her dad? Maybe a part of her saw through my lie and she wanted to work things out. Sadly, I knew that was wishful thinking. She had a new life now. One that didn't involve me. I had no right to be angry about that because I made it happen, but I was still upset.

"Is this the West Residence?" A voice asked.

I looked up to see a blonde women making her way to the porch. She wore a black dress and heels. Why was she here?

"Who's asking?"

She walked up the few steps and held out her manicured hand. "Patty Spivot."

I shook it. "Barry Allen."

She nodded. "Okay, the white kid the West's took in."

Well, I wouldn't have phrased it like that, but sure.

"Did Joe invite you?" My eyes scanned her athletic frame. She was by far younger than him, but if she was the reason he was taking off then I'd support it.

She cracked a grin as her perfectly arched blonde brow rose. "No, Eddie did. I'm his new partner."

"Aren't you a little young and female to be his partner?"

She looked at me as if I was the biggest misogynist on the planet.

I realized what I said. "No, I meant Eddie thought you were a guy. He said he invited his new male partner over tonight."

She gave a wry grin as she understood. "Of course, he did. My first name is Charlie."

"Welcome to the team, Charlie." I shook her hand again.

She chuckled. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

I sagged. "You're welcome to go in. I think I'll stay out here a little longer." My eyes focused ahead.

"Uh oh. Some tension in the air already?" She stayed by my side.

I shrugged. "I did something that I'm not so proud of and everyone in there blames me. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me. Even Joe."

We were quiet for a while. I wasn't quite sure why I unloaded my troubles on a complete stranger, but it felt a little nice.

She looked at me, her blonde hair fell past her shoulders in curls. "I don't really know any of you, but in my experience, if someone loves you then they'll forgive you. Just give it a little time." She touched my knee.

My eyes slid up to hers. "Thanks."

She grinned as she stood. "Now, introduce me to everyone."

A laugh escaped me.

IRIS' POV:

This is stupid. I shouldn't even be here.

The music was thumping from wall to wall. Girls in skimpy outfits danced while horny guys desperately grabbed at whoever they could find for the night. This so wasn't my crowd. With my mind made up, I turned back around and headed for the door.

Laurel stepped in my way with an expectant look on her face. "Leaving so soon."

"I-uh..." I took in the red dress that clung to her body. Where did she get that? I wanted one. I gave a nervous grin.

"Let's dance." She pulled me along.

To amuse her, I gave it a few songs, but my heart just wasn't in it. I missed home. I missed my friends. I missed Barry.

"I'm going to get us some drinks," She yelled into my ear over the music. "Don't go anywhere."

I nodded.

My eyes scanned the crowd as I tried to find Felicity and Oliver, they were talking to some guy in a suit. It looked like business.

It was very awkward to stand in a crowd full of dancing people while you didn't dance. I kind of had to pee anyway. I looked towards the bar where Laurel was flirting with one of the bartenders, she'd be a minute. I could get to the bathroom and back before she noticed.

My reflection caught my attention as I washed my hands. I hadn't exactly tried to look nice tonight, but I wasn't frumpy either. I wore a black dress and heels. I let my hair hand past my shoulders. If I felt as beautiful as I looked I'd be okay.

I headed out the bathroom only to bump into a hard chest. I stumbled back a little but hands caught me. "Oh, I'm really out of it today..." I stopped when I realized it was the same guy from the trail. A blush made my face hot. "Hi."

He grinned, his full mouth confident. "Hi, again." He was still holding my waist and it was lovely, but unnecessary.

"I think I'm no longer in danger of falling." I told him.

He looked at my waist and backed up as he let me go. "Sorry."

I gave him a quick smile as I walked past him.

"I didn't catch your name before." He called.

"Jane Doe." I threw over my shoulder as I headed back out to the dance floor.

I found Laurel still talking to the hottie bartender so I went over. "Hey, I went to the bathroom in case you were looking for me."

She grinned at me. "Here's your shot." She downed hers. "It's almost midnight." She turned to look at the crowd. "You have to find someone to kiss."

My eyes rolled. "I don't take that seriously."

"Neither do I, but being that my last relationship sucked I'm heavily on the rebound."

"Amen to that." I downed my shot. "Another one, please."

She grinned.

We got lost in conversation and before we knew it Oliver was standing on the staircase with a microphone, counting down to the New Year. Laurel and I rushed into the crowd, I was a little woozy, but I could stand. I thought about what Laurel said and immediately Barry came to mind. It was about to be a brand spanking new year and we couldn't be farther apart. While everyone else was jumping up and down filled with excitement I was stuck with sorrow.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" Oliver counted.

I turned to Laurel. She was excitedly counting with him.

"Seven! Six! Five!"

She looked over at me.

"Four! Three! Two!"

Oh, what the hell.

"One!"

I grabbed her face and planted a chaste kiss on her. I hadn't expected her to deepen the kiss, but I didn't pull away. You could blame it on the intoxication or the adrenaline rush of it being a new year, but I didn't care enough to pull away.

A/N: For those of you who don't support the lgbt community then I'd advise you not to read any of my fics and to stop this one now. I will be writing more lgbt friendly chapters. While I'm not saying that Laurel and Iris are going to be a couple, I will be exploring the sexual avenues of a few different characters. Hope yall liked it, thanks for reading :)


	33. Run

**I do have to apologize for not making it clear that this along with this fic being AU it's also OOC (out of character). I've added that to the summary so now it's out there. There shouldn't be any reason anyone has to complain about Barry and Iris being too different from the show now, and we're thirty three chapters in now so it's not that big of a shock really. With that being said, I really don't want to get anymore comments like this:**

 **"** **I have no idea what you're doing to this story but I and several others do not like it. You're adding things that shouldn't even be in here. The lines from the show don't fit at all. Even the nickname Barry had for Iris doesn't fit. Seems so forced. Everything about this story seems forced. You wanted to make Iris "stronger" and you did that by making her physically stronger but she's so mentally weak it's pathetic. Now she's doing the same out of character thing Barry did, and let's face it, neither one is in character. It's like you're writing a story about some other couple and just added their names. Don't worry, I won't leave any more reviews or read this anymore. I will never read another thing you write. I'm not the only one that feels like that btw." - HWG, Archive Of Our Own.**

 **If anyone else feels the same way please just stop reading, don't stick around for my benefit. And one thing I'd like to point out is that season 2 just started so we really don't know exactly what is out of character for Barry or Iris. Sure my fic is a little out there in terms of their storylines and character differences, but we've only season a full season of one side to both Barry and Iris. I hope in future seasons they'll have grown and messed up some. But none of us know exactly where the show is taking them so it's not fair to say that the characters are too ooc when any of us hardly know them ourselves. The show is still fresh, so for the sake of my sanity and other ficwriters give us some slack with the AU/ooc fics. And if for those of you who have a problem with that then why are you thirty plus chapters deep into an AU fic anyway if you can't think open mindedly about these characters and what kind of relationship they could possibly have in another timeline/AU? Enough with the rant.**

 **The song for this chapter is Lightboxes - Run**

 **IRIS' POV:**

 **It was February and the everything was less dramatic. I'd been going out more with Laurel and Oliver, training, getting stronger. I'd called my dad a few days after New Years to see how he was doing and it was a tear fest on both ends, but it was much needed. I promised that I'd come see him soon, but I still wasn't ready to set foot in Central City and he understood. Wally had come at a great time, my dad really needed a blood relative there to keep him company, not that Barry couldn't do it by himself.**

 **Being that I still hadn't found what I wanted to do for a day job I had too much time on my hands. I continued to stress about my future, but Oliver assured me that he didn't mind in the slightest to help me out. He even offered me a job at Queen Consolidated, but I couldn't quite picture myself in a big corporate company like that, so I kept racking my brain for the right choice. Lately, when I was alone, I kept going back to my blog, reading over the old posts. The poor thing hadn't been updated in months. With my knowing that Barry was The Flash there really wasn't a need to keep it up for myself. My thinking was that because I knew it was Barry then I felt like the rest of the city was in good hands. My forehead creased as I realized that maybe they still needed to believe. But that wasn't my job anymore, I wasn't Barry's spokesperson.**

 **My hands hovered over the keys. Things had to figure themselves out sooner or later.**

 **I closed my laptop and told Oliver's driver I wanted to go into town. Somehow, things seemed to always clear up a little when you walked around. One thing's for sure, I didn't want to mooch off of Oliver forever. He needed his privacy for more reason than one. If I was truly going to be independent then I needed my own life, my own possessions, something I knew my dad would be proud of. He hadn't said it since I left and I felt like it would a while before I'd hear it again.**

 **My phone buzzed in my pocket. Linda's name came up.**

 **"** **Hey," I answered with a grin. "You couldn't have called at a better time." I patted the driver on the shoulder to let me know to stop. I told him thanks before I got out of the town car.**

 **"** **You couldn't have answered at a better time," She sounded distressed.**

 **My forehead wrinkled. "Lin, what's wrong?"**

 **It was a few moments before she sighed into the phone. "Your damn cousin is what's wrong."**

 **"** **Wally? What could he have done?"**

 **Well, what couldn't he have done? Growing up, Wally was like the brother I always wanted but sometimes wanted to kill. He'd pick on me relentlessly but we'd have our moments. As we got older the picking turned into light teasing. He was pretty cool, a little too cocky, but definitely a ladies man...Now, I could see where this was going.**

 **"** **Please tell me that you do not having feelings for my cousin?"**

 **The silence on the other end was enough to convince me otherwise.**

 **"** **No, Linda." My hand ran down my face. "What about Cisco?"**

 **"** **I don't know how much he's talked to you about it, but we haven't really been on the same page lately. I don't know what it is."**

 **My mouth frowned. "Maybe because he's picking up on your feelings for Wally, which is so gross by the way."**

 **"** **Iris, this is a disaster. This was the last thing I wanted to happen. I really like Cisco and if I could turn off these feelings for Wally then I would, believe me. But when he's around me...he looks at me the way Barry looks at you."**

 **Barry hadn't looked at me for over a month and he was with Thea, so I highly doubted that, but I got where she was going with this. What I felt with Barry was once in lifetime lucky, rare and beautiful. Scary. Dangerous.**

 **"** **If that's the case then you need to be really honest with yourself and tell Cisco what you're feeling. Take a break. Do what you need to in order to get your feelings sorted out. Cisco's a good guy, he'll understand if you're honest with him."**

 **She huffed. "You're right, but I don't want to hurt him."**

 **"** **If you don't tell him and something happens with Wally it'll hurt him even more. Trust me, I know."**

 **I could feel her sympathy over the phone. "Iris, this rift between you and Barry is only temporary."**

 **"** **I don't know about that."**

 **"** **Listen to me," She insisted. "Barry loves you. He's not okay, despite what you think. Whatever he told you, whatever you think is wrong. He's miserable without you."**

 **Hearing those words gave me too much hope and if experience was any indicator then hope was a bad thing to carry in your heart when it came to Barry.**

 **"** **Linda, I can't do this."**

 **"** **Dammit, Iris," She all but screamed in my ear. "The both of you need to stop being so stubborn and just forgive each other. I know you haven't moved on, neither has he. You don't just move on from what you two had. Impossible. Please, just call him. It'll make more of a difference than you realize."**

 **My head shook. All of what Linda said could've been for my benefit. I knew she had our best interest at heart, but this wasn't her call. I knew deep down there was truth to what she said, about not getting over Barry, but I wasn't ready to dive into that mess yet. I needed to get my life in order before I saw him. Obviously, it was a pride thing.**

 **All I could assure her was that, "Barry and I will come to some understanding soon, just not right now. I'm not ready to see him, Linda."**

 **"** **Well..." She dragged out. "That's too bad because he's on his way to Starling City."**

 **I stopped amidst the crowd of pedestrians as my eyes narrowed. "Come again?"**

 **"** **I just wanted to give you a warning. Ok, love you. Bye." She hung up.**

 **This could not be happening. I wasn't ready. I needed to have my life in some type of order and it was the farthest thing from being in order. God must really dislike me, must be from all of the lustful thoughts I had about Barry. This was my punishment. On top of my current failure to be successful at anything, I had to see Barry and Thea together. Just peachy. One thing's for sure, I wouldn't be around to witness that.**

 **My phone felt heavy in my hand so I slid it into my coat pocket. I slipped my dark sunglasses on to block out the world, my hands shoved in my pockets. The city seemed to go on for miles, or maybe I was just lost in my head to realize how far I walked. Everyone seemed to give me space or maybe it was my imagination. Maybe they could sense that I was lost and I needed a little space to find my way.**

 **Someone bumped into me and the contact shocked me. Someone else didn't care that I was lost. I stood there in the sidewalk for several moments, my eyes found the window of a newspaper business. The door opened as someone walked out with a briefcase, his eyes on his watch. I pictured myself inside, typing away at a desk, reporting in the streets. An older guy caught my gaze and held it for a moment too long. Before I could step forward I heard a car horn blare for longer than necessary.**

 **I turned to see a guy standing in the middle of the street. The truck was seconds away from crushing him, with the icy roads it was hard to stop on short notice. Without thought, I ran forward and pulled him out of the way. The ice caused our footing to slip and I fell on top of him with a thud. The truck must've smashed into something because there was a crash.**

 **"** **Are you okay?"**

 **The guy stared back at me with angry eyes. "Why'd you do that?" He demanded.**

 **I balked at him. "You wanted to get hit by that truck?"**

 **He pushed me off of him, tears in his eyes.**

 **A big crowd had gathered around us, everyone gawking and pointing. The guy from Picture News stared at me with careful eyes. I pushed myself up and looked around. Too many people, too many eyes on me.**

 **A few flashes went off and I knew they were taking pictures.**

 **"** **She saved his life." I heard someone say.**

 **I looked back to meet their eyes as I walked right into someone.**

 **"** **Come on,"**

 **My eyes met a cinnamon brown pair. The long sandy blonde hair, the structured jaw. I let him tug me forward, away from the craziness. We ran down the streets, we dipped and dodged long after we lost the crowd. We came to a stop near a park. Neither of us were out of breath. He was so obviously athletic, all muscle and thick. He turned his eyes on me.**

 **"** **You sure know how to make an impression." A half grin in place.**

 **I let out a much needed chuckle. "Not on purpose." I looked around us and went to sit on a nearby bench.**

 **He sat down next to me, the bench dipped under his weight. "So you're a superhero. What else are you good at?"**

 **My brow rose. I knew he didn't mean literally. Oliver had been working on a suit for me, with that being said I had made sure to be careful when going out during training. Well, a mask was about as careful as I could be.**

 **"** **Running into you apparently."**

 **He grinned. "I have no complaints here."**

 **Deciding I needed to get back to mindlessly walking the streets, I stood.**

 **"** **Humor me." He held my gaze.**

 **What did I really have to lose? Quite honestly, I could use the distraction. So I sat back down.**

 **My hand tucked my curls behind my ear. "What do you want to know?"**

 **He layed on arm on the back of the bench behind me. "The next time you run into me I'd like to know your name."**

 **Hopefully there wouldn't be any running next time.**

 **"** **Iris."**

 **He held his hand out. "Daryl."**

 **I shook it and I couldn't shake that there was something familiar about him.**

 **"** **Are you sure that we haven't met before?" I asked.**

 **He nodded. "You're too beautiful to forget."**

 **My eyes couldn't roll hard enough.**

 **He laughed. "Seriously, what you did back there was pretty amazing. You saved that man's life."**

 **Did I? He didn't seem to want to be saved by me or by anyone?**

 **"** **So why don't you seem happier?" He asked.**

 **I shrugged. "I don't think I did much good. I think he wanted to die." It wasn't enough that Barry was going to see my failure. Everyone saw me fail.**

 **His hand rested on my shoulder, his eyes peering into mine. "You didn't fail, okay."**

 **How did he know exactly what to say?**

 **My eyes focused on my jeans. "I am."**

 **This guy was practically a stranger apart from a few chance meetings, but it seemed that he was willing to listen, so maybe opening up to someone who didn't know me or my problems would give me some perspective.**

 **My eyes met his, hoping he'd be here to lend an ear. "I moved here a month ago, thinking it would be the fix to my problems." My head shook ironically. "But so far, all I've done is accomplish squat. I have nothing to show for myself."**

 **He nodded. "I don't think you're alone in that feeling, Iris. Most of us aren't where we pictured ourselves at. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You'll find your way." His hand squeezed my shoulder and it felt nice. Not like Barry's touch, but still nice. Comforting.**

 **"** **You might be onto something..." I realized he hadn't given his name.**

 **He picked up the hint. "Daryl."**

 **It was a good name. Sterdy. Manly. I guess.**

 **I leaned forward a little. "It's just, there's someone from my past coming to town. I really don't want to see him, but he's coming. And, well, my life is still DOA."**

 **"** **Maybe you need to see this friend so they can tell you that you don't have to have your life figured out in a month."**

 **The corner of my mouth pulled up as I nodded. "Point taken." His eyes locked on mine. "Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself." My eyes quickly scanned him, landing on that dimple in his chin. "So," My eyes slid up to his. "What are you letting a stranger talk your ear off in a park?"**

 **"** **I don't think you count as a stranger. We've bumped three times."**

 **My eyes narrowed at his word choice and a surprising blush came to his cheeks when he said, "That came out wrong."**

 **"** **Really?" I laughed. "Never would've guessed.**

 **He laughed with me. "All I meant was, if we keep coming into each other's lives then maybe it's for a reason."**

 **Maybe. There were a lot of maybes going around today.**

 **After a moment his cinnamon eyes turned vulnerable with my silence.**

 **"** **Or you could be a stalker." I stated.**

 **He lifted his hand from my shoulder, taking away what little warmth I had. "Not stalking you, I promise." His eyes cautious. "Or you could be stalking me. It's the 21st century. You're just as capable of stalking me as I am of you."**

 **I grinned. "You've caught me." I held my hands up. "It's not my fault you don't lock your door or close your curtains. It must be a white people thing."**

 **He bellowed out a laugh that vibrated through me. His eyes crinkled up with his wide white smile, that dimple on display. "You may be right about that."**

 **I was pleasantly pleased with myself that I was able to make someone I just met laugh so hard. I hadn't laughed like that in ages. Must be nice.**

 **His phone buzzed, drawing the remains of his laughter away. After checking it, he reached into his coat and pulled out a card. "If you ever want to chat," He rose.**

 **I stood, rubbing the card between my fingers. Suspicion rose in me. "You're a journalist?"**

 **He nodded. "It's not the most luxurious job, but it pays the bills."**

 **Maybe it was sign. Maybe I was meant to get bumped by that stranger earlier, maybe I was meant to stop in front of Picture News.**

 **"** **You any good at writing?" He asked.**

 **I wasn't excellent at writing, but I did enjoy having a blog.**

 **"** **Not sure. Are you offering me a job interview?"**

 **He gave a small grin. "If you're interested." He looked at his watch. "I have to go but don't be afraid to use that if you need to, Iris." He backed away.**

 **I nodded. "Thanks, Daryl." I waved him off.**

 **Maybe I wasn't such a failure after all. I didn't know if writing was something I could enjoy for a living, but I could try my hand at it. If Daryl was serious about getting me an interview then what could it harm?**

 **The rest of the evening was filled with Laurel and I grunting and swinging at each other. Sometimes when it was just the two of us I thought about the kiss on New Year's. How I wasn't sure if the alcohol tempted me or if it was Laurel. We hadn't brought it up, so I assumed she didn't remember. Maybe that was for the best. I didn't really want to have a conversation about whether or not it was just a celebratory kiss or if it was beyond that because I really didn't know myself. I didn't think I was attracted to girls, but Laurel was really pretty.**

 **"** **You seem distracted." She said as we drunk from our bottles.**

 **I nodded. "Barry's here."**

 **Her eyes widened. "You saw him?"**

 **"** **No, but Linda told me he was coming here today."**

 **She stretched her quads. "Do you want to see him? Are you ready?"**

 **Good question. Did I? Was I?**

 **"** **No and no."**

 **She grinned and it made me grin. "Maybe you should see him. Maybe things have changed with Thea. Maybe he wants to work things out with you."**

 **Again with the maybes.**

 **My head shook. "He doesn't get to come here and turn my world upside down. Besides, I've already met someone." Okay, I didn't really have any feelings for Daryl, but he was hot and nice enough to offer me an option to a career. And then there was the awkward tension with Laurel.**

 **Her brow lifted. "Who's the mystery someone?"**

 **"** **I'm not sure yet."**

 **We finished up with training and she dropped me off at the house. I figured that I could get some calm before the storm before I saw Barry. He wasn't bold enough to come here, I didn't think.**

 **"** **Hello?" I called as I walked into the house.**

 **No answer.**

 **With a shrug, I headed up to my room and jumped in the shower. A nice long and hot shower. I decided that I'd give Daryl a call tomorrow. What was the worst that could happen? At least, I'd know if I was in the right direction based on the interview.**

 **By the end of my shower all I wanted to do was curl into bed and Netflix and Chill with myself. But I guess that was too out of the question what with Barry sitting on my bed.**

 **I came to a sudden stop at the sight of him. A month apart hadn't done anything to quell my attraction to him like I'd hoped. My whole body sung in his presence and he hadn't even looked up at me yet. He sat there lost in thought, a lost look in his eyes.**

 **"** **Barry," His name left my lips as a whisper.**

 **His hazel gaze met mine, they livened up when he took me in. He immediately stood, but didn't say anything. Maybe he couldn't say anything.**

 **I noticed the picture in his hand, the picture of us he kept in his room while he lived here. I wasn't really sure why, but I kept it face down on the bedside table. It was there in case I wanted to torture myself and look at it.**

 **He set the picture back like I had it.**

 **I really didn't know what to say. Many times I thought about cussing him out when I saw him again or slapping him around or completely ignoring him. Now that he was in front of me, I couldn't quite remember why I thought I was over him.**

 **He cleared his throat. "Do you still hate me?"**

 **Of all the things I thought would come out of his mouth those weren't it.**

 **My head shook on it's own. I wanted to tell him to piss off, that he hurt me and that I still needed time to get over him properly, but those words got lost along the way.**

 **"** **I could never hate you, Barry."**

 **He looked as if a ton was lifted off his shoulders. I realized that he didn't look very healthy, there were bags under his eyes. He hadn't lost any weight, but he still looked hollow. That couldn't have been because of me, could it? Had Linda been right?**

 **"** **Everyone misses you."**

 **Do you?**

 **My eyes found the tan carpet. "What are you doing here, Barry?"**

 **He sighed. "Oliver wanted my help on a case."**

 **So he wasn't here to see me. I didn't know whether to be relieved or sad by that.**

 **"** **How long are you staying?"**

 **He took a wary step forward. "If you don't want me here then I'll leave."**

 **I couldn't ask him to bend over backwards to make me comfortable. Besides, if Oliver needed his help then who was I to stand in the way?**

 **My head shook. "I'm tired."**

 **He nodded. "I'll get out of your hair then."**

 **Part of me felt bad for kicking him to the curb but I was physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. I just wanted to rest, forget Netflix and Chill by myself. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was going to be out like a light.**

 **I almost moaned at how good the bed felt as I climbed under the covers. I noticed he lingered by the door, so I gave him a questioning look.**

 **He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I think my mom might be alive."**

 **My eyes widened. "What? How?"**

 **He shrugged. "I shouldn't have dropped that on you like that. I'll see you tomorrow." He turned off the ceiling light and for a moment it was as if I was back in my old room in my old house. The weight of the day won over the craziness of what Barry just said and before I knew it I was fast asleep.**

 **A/N: I really wanted this chapter to be light. Next chapter should be longer. How awesome was the season 2 premiere yall?! I cried like at least six times from major feels! If Ronnie is really dead I'm not okay!**


	34. Stone Cold

**The song for this chapter is Demi Lovato - Stone Cold**

 **IRIS' POV:**

 **I woke with a headache of epic proportions. With a groan, I rolled over in bed. I reached for my phone and checked the time. It was almost ten thirty. I shot up, frantically searched for the card Daryl gave me, and called the number.**

 **He was very polite or maybe it was flirtatious, I didn't know the difference.**

 **"** **I can squeeze you in before lunch. 11:45 sound good?"**

 **I nodded even though he couldn't see it. "That's perfect." It was just enough time to get ready and get there. "Do I need to bring a sample of my work?"**

 **"** **That won't be necessary, I just want to pick your brain a little. See you soon, Iris."**

 **I thanked him again before we hung up. Excitement filled me as I jumped up and down for a solid five minutes, then I remembered I needed to get ready. Wanting to look professional, I borrowed one of Felicity's dresses. I didn't think the only dress I owned now, the black one from New Year's would be appropriate. Felicity wouldn't mind in the slightest, she had a bunch of them. I put on my black pumps. My reflection looked sophisticated. I had the best side french braid I was going to have with only thirty minutes left. My damn makeup took the longest. I hoped Daryl appreciated a good smokey eye and dark lip.**

 **The car dipped and dodged traffic and thankfully got me to Picture News with minutes to spare. I thanked Jeremy, the driver, before rushing out. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous, I wasn't even sure if I wanted this. Stepping inside the office jump started my heart. Seeing the writers all comfortable at their desks, talking over a papers, on the phone with inquisitive raise of their brows. Daryl spotted me and came to stand in front of me with a pleasant smile.**

 **"** **Iris, glad you could make it." His eyes scanned me and I had a feeling that they weren't supposed to, especially if I had a shot at getting this job, but it seemed like he realized that as he pulled his gaze away.**

 **I offered a nervous grin. "Thank you for this interview." I didn't know what to do with my hands, so I propped them on my hips. "I'm sure you have other qualified applicants to interview."**

 **He waved it off. "Just because someone has a degree in journalism doesn't mean they're cut out to be one." He checked his watch. "Let me grab my coat and we can head to the restaurant."**

 **Restaurant?**

 **"** **The interview isn't here?" I asked.**

 **"** **I thought you'd be more comfortable not filled with a room of journalist while I ask you about dreams and hopes." He gave a handsome grin before leaving.**

 **He was right, that was thoughtful.**

 **I looked around some more and pictured myself pouring a cup of coffee while talking to coworkers. I pictured myself biting the end of my pen at my desk, struggling to get the last few sentences down before a deadline. Uncertainty filled me.**

 **When I turned back I saw Daryl talking to a guy, the same guy that stared me down yesterday. They looked back at me as they spoke. My eyes narrowed as I checked around me. They were definitely staring at me. Okay, should I be freaked? I was probably just paranoid.**

 **Daryl walked over with the same cool grin. "You ready?"**

 **I nodded. As ever as I was going to be.**

 **We ended up a pretty decent place, way nicer than I expected for an interview. Daryl assured me this would be on the company. The two of us sat in a more secluded area, per Daryl's recommendation. Which I was grateful for, I wasn't partial to total strangers hearing my business. Especially, in a place like these, where it seemed everyone oozed money and education.**

 **"** **So," He started once we ordered our drinks. "Just tell me a little about yourself. It helps before you get into the big questions."**

 **I bit my lip nervously. He probably wouldn't care that I was a vigilante, or training to be, so I went with, "I graduated high school early. I never really knew what I wanted to do for college, where I wanted to go. Winging it hasn't been the best decision."**

 **He grinned. "You just graduated?"**

 **"** **Yes. In december."**

 **His brow lifted. "How old are you?"**

 **Oh, shit. "Seventeen." I said hesitantly. "Is that a problem?"**

 **If he was shocked he hid it well. "No. I admit, I thought you were a few years older."**

 **Right. He saw me at the club at New Year's. I didn't know a lot of seventeen year olds that run on the trail either.**

 **I gave a wry half grin. "Sometimes, I feel older."**

 **He stared at me for a moment and I felt itchy under his bourbon gaze. I didn't know what to say or do. Thankfully, the waitress set down our drinks. I took a long sip of my water.**

 **"** **You graduated early, you must be pretty smart." Hist tone was impressed. "What do you like to do for fun?"**

 **Fight bad guys.**

 **"** **Besides run into you," I grinned. "Lately, all I've been doing is running. I guess, literally and figuratively."**

 **He nodded. "I know what that's like. When I graduated college, I didn't know which way was up. Journalism was the last thing on my mind. I had never taken a class for it. Then one day I walked into Picture News and demanded that I deserved a job even though I had no experience. The editor-in-chief overheard me and we had a lunch much like this one."**

 **A little confidence seeped into me. "You were given a chance with no experience, so that's why I'm here?"**

 **"** **Not all of us know where we're going, Iris. It's okay if you don't either. Who knows, you may fit right in at Picture News. Without my mentor, Mason, I don't think I would've made it this far."**

 **The waitress came back and we ordered.**

 **"** **So being that I don't really know anything about journalism, if I did get the job, where would we go from there?" I asked.**

 **He looked pleased that I was somewhat interested. "Ideally, we wouldn't throw you into the lion's den right away. I would have you as an apprentice."**

 **There was a fluttering in my stomach at the way he looked while he said "I would have you".**

 **I cleared my throat. "Honestly, Daryl," I didn't know if I should call him something more professional or not. "I'm not confident that I would be the right choice for a newspaper. I'm not that great of a writer."**

 **He chuckled and I couldn't figure out why that was funny. He leaned forward, his eyes on me. "I find that hard to believe, Ms. West. Mason tells me you have a pretty popular blog. About the infamous Flash."**

 **How did this Mason guy know? Had they googled me. Was I googleable?**

 **They noise that came out of my mouth was not attractive in the slightest. A mixture between a dying zombie and mentally unstable beatboxer.**

 **He smirked. "I have read a few of your posts from time to time. I knew your name sounded familiar."**

 **I don't recall telling him my last name, but okay.**

 **"** **Daryl," My eyes fell to the white tablecloth. "Just because I had a blog months ago doesn't make me capable of reporting the actual news."**

 **His brow arched. "What's the difference?"**

 **There was plenty of differences!**

 **"** **I was passionate about The Flash" Even now I could feel a proud smile overtake my face. "He saved me, he saved a lot of people. I just wanted everyone to believe him as much as I did."**

 **He frowned. "Did?"**

 **I froze. "I mean, do. Still do." I recovered, but not quick enough. He didn't look convinced. If he even guessed that I knew who The Flash was then I couldn't take this job. The last thing I wanted was for Barry's secret to be out, even if I wanted a job.**

 **He nodded.**

 **My lips pursed as I scanned the restaurant for a distraction. Like last night, I saw Barry before I felt his presence. My heart lerched in my chest. He looked so handsome in his suite, looking effortlessly like a catalog model. Before a smile could fall on my face Thea came into view. She looked gorgeous in her silk teal dress as chatted up another man in a suit. She grabbed Barry's arm. He grinned at her and I was reminded why I wanted to hurt him. If that wasn't bad enough, it seemed they were heading our way.**

 **"** **You've got to be kidding me?' I tore my gaze away from them, I propped my elbow on the table, my head rested in my hand as I hide from them with a horrified expression.**

 **Daryl leaned closer. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he's the guy you didn't want to see yesterday?"**

 **Shit. I was in the middle of an interview and I was practically hiding under the table.**

 **I glanced at Daryl. "You'd be right." I gave a nervous chuckle. There was no way he'd hire me after seeing how immature I was.**

 **"** **Iris?" The voice reached me to my core.**

 **With what pride I had left, I looked up at the two. Thea was still talking to the man in the suit while Barry gazed at me, or rather between Daryl and I.**

 **I wasn't sure if you could die of awkwardness, but I was placing a bet now. The odds were not in my favor.**

 **"** **Barry," I swallowed the lump in my throat. I looked between them and tried to hide my hatred of Thea, but somehow I thought some got through. "Hi."**

 **They sat down next to us. Really? Of all the empty tables in this area and they sit next to us?**

 **Daryl looked at me expectantly. I gave him a look.**

 **Right.**

 **"** **Who are you?" Barry flat out asked.**

 **Attitude much.**

 **"** **This is Daryl, my..." Was he my boss? I didn't have the job. And I didn't want to tell Barry I was in an interview and that I didn't have my life figured out yet. So what did I call Daryl? I took a long drag of my water.**

 **"** **I'm her lunch date." Daryl said.**

 **I choked on my water. My what?**

 **Daryl grinned at me.**

 **Barry stared at me, so I just laughed.**

 **"** **We were about to leave actually," I announced as I stood to my feet.**

 **Just then the waitress dropped off our food. All eyes were on me. My face flamed.**

 **Again, I cleared my throat with a grin. "Or not."**

 **Barry gave me an expectant look.**

 **"** **Daryl, this is Barry and Thea." I introduced.**

 **Barry extended a hand first, Daryl gave him a strange look as they shook. I was so uncomfortable that I was tempted to tell Daryl that I wasn't hungry and we could be done with the interview.**

 **I wished for my sunglasses in that moment. Sure it would look incredibly stupid, but at least I could block out their stares. I really couldn't remember where I put them last, then I remembered the suicidal guy from yesterday. They must've fallen off then. Damn. They were my only pair.**

 **Daryl started eating his food and I wanted to kick him under the table, but I didn't think that would help me land the job. He was enjoying this, I could tell.**

 **"** **Honey, you didn't tell me you had friends in town." He muttered, his eyes knowing.**

 **I took all of my willpower not to laugh. This was not happening.**

 **"** **We should get back to the office." I insisted, I check my phone. "Don't you have that interview soon?"**

 **He shook his head. "Nope." A grin in place.**

 **That time I did kick him under the table. Damn the interview. I couldn't sit here with Barry and Thea and pretend that everything between us was normal.**

 **He over exaggeratedly checked his watch. "But we do have to leave soon if we want to make it to the board meeting."**

 **I nodded gratefully as he signaled the waitress over for the check. Maybe God did love me after all.**

 **We got out things together.**

 **"** **Nice seeing you again, Iris." Thea gave a fake smile.**

 **I gave one back. "Likewise." Bitch.**

 **Daryl patted Barry on the shoulder. "Have a good one."**

 **I avoided Barry's gaze like the plague as we walked past them. Daryl's hand went around my waist. I was too shocked to do anything but walk until we were out of distance. He held the door open for me and I took the opportunity to playfully hit him in the chest.**

 **"** **What is your problem?" I angrily whispered.**

 **He ushered us towards his towncar. "I thought you wanted my help. It looked like you were dying in there. What happened between you two?" Like a gentleman, he opened the door for me.**

 **I slid onto the leather seats, contemplating whether or not I was actually angry about his little acting job. He started the car.**

 **"** **Nothing that I want to get into."**

 **"** **Hey," He looked my way. "By the looks of it, I just saved your ass. Give me something."**

 **I turned my gaze onto him. "You lied to them, you said it was a date."**

 **His brow lifted. "You lied back." A smirk in place.**

 **Damn him and his chin dimple.**

 **"** **I shouldn't have."**

 **"** **Why? Are you scared that he sees that you've moved on?" He pulled forward.**

 **Was I? That's not the point, he moved on first. Wait, so what was the point? Why did I care if Barry saw me with another guy? He broke off whatever it was we had. He was with Thea. If there was any doubt from Linda's talk yesterday, it was gone. They were on a date in a nice restaurant.**

 **I sighed.**

 **"** **Maybe the problem is that you haven't moved on?" He suggested.**

 **My eyes snapped to him. "I am."**

 **He didn't look convinced. "Whatever you say."**

 **I folded my arms across my chest. "I am."**

 **I had to be because he was so over me.**

 **"** **Thanks, anyway. Sorry I wasted your time."**

 **He glanced at me. "The interview isn't over yet, if that's what you mean."**

 **My brow rose. "It isn't? Not even after I hit you repeatedly?"**

 **He laughed. "Not unless you want it to be?"**

 **If this guy wanted to hire me after what he saw then I guess it was meant to be.**

 **BARRY'S POV:**

 **I started to go after them when Thea gave me a look.**

 **"** **You can not be that guy, Barry." She insisted.**

 **Through the window I saw that Daryl guy open the door for her. She slid into his car. She was the last person I expected to see here. This wasn't exactly her style. Or was it? We had never actually gone out on a date. I obviously didn't know Iris as well as I thought. She had moved on faster than I thought humanly possible. A month, that was all it took for her to get over me. Maybe hadn't really felt the same way about me as I thought she did.**

 **"** **It's not real you idiot."**

 **I stared at Thea long and hard. "What?"**

 **She nodded toward the exit. "Iris is not dating that hottie. There's no way."**

 **"** **And why not?"**

 **She looked at me like I was the epitome of dumb. "Did you see the way she looked at you, dumbass?" She said in her tough love kind of way. "And the way she looked at me. She for sure hates my guts." She grinned.**

 **My head shook. "Why do you keep antagonizing her? You said you had no problem with her."**

 **She grinned mischievously over her glass of wine. "Because it's fun to get a rise out of her. She's definitely jealous. You're welcome."**

 **My eyes rolled. Thea had this theory that if she pushed Iris far enough that Iris would declare her feelings for me. You could see how well that was going.**

 **"** **Just knock it off. She's getting on with her life." Which was exactly what I wanted. Even though I corrected the future, every night I still had the same nightmare. Iris always died and I couldn't save her. Once, I even dreamed I was at her funeral. That was enough to keep me from reaching out to her.**

 **Thea leaned forward. "You know, I regret sleeping with you as much as the next girl,"**

 **"** **Thanks," I half grinned at her teasing.**

 **She gave me a sympathetic look. "She has to be some kind of stupid to not see that you're still in love with her and not me."**

 **I gave her a look.**

 **She held up her hands defensively. "Alright, geez. If looks could kill." Her eyes now on the menu. "You still should just tell her the truth."**

 **"** **That I saw her die and I went back in time to save her life and drive her away? Not happening." I picked up the stupid menu.**

 **"** **Fine, be an idiot. Just don't mope to me when Iris moves with that sandy blonde hottie. And she will. If not with him then with someone else. And you want to know why? Because she thinks you're over her, Barry. You're so obviously not, so grow a pair and step up or just move on already."**

 **A huge part of me knew she was right, but I couldn't go there with Iris. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was scared out of my mind. What if she got hurt because of me? What if she died because of me?**

 **Thea chimed in again. "And you know Iris isn't giving up this whole vigilante thing," She whispered. "So you're either on board with it or you're against it. I'd suggest you get on board or you'll lose her completely." She tacked on a dumbass for good measure.**

 **After we ordered food I thought the conversation would be light, but I was so wrong.**

 **"** **So I have some news." She started. "I want to help Oliver."**

 **My face dropped. "What?"**

 **She rolled her eyes. "I want to help out." she glanced around to make sure no one was listening. "It'll be so awesome."**

 **"** **Thea, have you lost your mind?"**

 **She gave me her famous bitch face. "Hold on a second, Barry Allen. You are not my brother nor my boyfriend. You don't get a say in what I do. I'm following Iris' example." She shrugged.**

 **A groan left me. "There's no way Oliver is going to let his baby sister fight crime." I whispered angrily.**

 **She grinned sneakily. "So we won't tell him."**

 **I gave her an incredulous look. "Not tell Oliver that you want to be a vigilante? Are you kidding me? He'll kill us both when he finds out, Speedy."**

 **Her hand swooshed around the rest of the wine in her glass. "Well, we better start my training now."**

 **My head shook. "Absolutely not. I can not help you on this."**

 **Her green eyes pleaded with mine. "Please, Barry."**

 **I stared at her like she lost her mind. "I can't help train you and refuse to agree with Iris training. How hypocritical is that?"**

 **She shrugged. "That was one is on you not me. If you would listen to anything I've been telling you the past few months you would be happy with Iris, but no. Stay stubborn. See where that gets you, dumbass."**

 **Despite myself I laughed at her antics. If anything she was a good friend when I needed her. There was never any feelings beyond friendship with us, we both deeply regretted that night. Through everything, she's encouraged me to work things out with Iris, despite popular belief. One thing I loved about her was that she always gave it to me straight, no sugar coating.**

 **Later that evening, Oliver came to Thea's apartment.**

 **"** **You know," He grinned. "If you don't want Iris to think you're dating my sister, you probably shouldn't stay in her apartment."**

 **We briefly hugged.**

 **"** **You're probably right." I laughed.**

 **Thea was looking at something on her tablet, her earbuds blasting loud music. She waved at her brother then went back to doing whatever it is that kept her attention.**

 **"** **Before we do this," I ushered him towards the kitchen. "You have to promise to keep Iris out of it. I know she's been going out with you and Laurel. I don't want her involved in this."**

 **He shrugged. "Too bad."**

 **I gave him a look. I thought he had my back on this.**

 **"** **Look, you drove Iris away. You made** ** _Laurel_** **promise to train her, to slow her down, she's ready whether you want her to be or not. You can't keep Iris from doing this, no matter how much you love her."**

 **If Thea was serious about joining the team then I hoped he would remember that.**

 **"** **Fine." I headed for the door.**

 **IRIS' POV:**

 **"** **I got the job?" I screamed over the phone.**

 **Daryl laughed into my ear. "You got the job."**

 **Laurel shook her head with a grin as she got ready.**

 **"** **Can you start tomorrow?"**

 **Could I start tomorrow? Hell, yes!**

 **"** **Of course." I beamed.**

 **"** **Great, I'll see you at nine."**

 **Nerves kicked in.**

 **As if he could sense that, he said, "You'll do great, Iris."**

 **A warmth came to my face. "Thanks."**

 **"** **See you tomorrow." He hung up.**

 **I slid the phone onto the desk. I put my scarlet mask on. No matter how many times I was in here I couldn't get over how cool Oliver's lair was.**

 **Laurel smirked at me. "Is that the someone you were talking about?" She applied her dark red lipstick, which drew my attention.**

 **"** **I don't know what you're talking about." I turned away from her. Wasn't even going to lie, she looked hot in that black leather suit. She always did.**

 **She laughed. "Someone's nervous. You must really like him."**

 **"** **Who are we talking about?" A familiar voice asked.**

 **I suddenly felt my body go aflame in my very own scarlet and black leather suit that Oliver had made for me. It was a bit snug, but if Barry's stunned face was any indication I knew I looked hot.**

 **"** **Iris' new man." Laurel smirked at Barry like she was throwing it in his face. I guess she was sticking with the girl code.**

 **Barry stepped forward, but stayed his distance from me. "Daryl, was it?"**

 **This was so not a conversation for now and in front of people, so I just fake a grin.**

 **Felicity stood by my side, touching the suit like a little kid. "It's pretty cool."**

 **Laurel surveyed me, something foreign in her eyes. "I like the look," She leaned against a table. "You should keep the french braid as part of your identity. It's hot." She placed her bleached blonde wig on her head.**

 **My face should've melted by now.**

 **Felicity cleared her throat. She was the only one I told about the kiss with Laurel. She hadn't judged me, she just laughed. A lot.**

 **I gave a nervous chuckle as I avoided both Barry and Laurel's gaze. So I looked to Oliver. "What's the plan?"**

 **He walked us through it with Felicity's help before we headed out.**

 **"** **Be safe." Felicity instructed. "Don't die."**

 **Laurel chuckled as she put her arm around my shoulder. "We don't plan on it." She leaned in close to me to whisper into my ear. "You'll do fine tonight."**

 **I forced a grin.**

 **Barry turned away from us when I glanced at him. I made a face at him.**

 **"** **I saw that." He said.**

 **There was no way.**

 **"** **Superspeed remember."**

 **Okay, maybe there was a way. I tried not to laugh.**

 **The car ride there felt oddly ridiculous with all of us in the back of a van that Thea drove. Just us chilling in our suits across from one another. Awkward silence filled the air. Barry kept meeting my glance and I wanted to switch places with Oliver so it wouldn't be so bad, but that would be weird.**

 **When we were almost there Laurel turned to me, her hand on my leg. "I got you a gift." She handed me my own pair of escrima sticks.**

 **"** **Oh my God," I hugged her. "Thank you."**

 **She squeezed me tight. "You earned them."**

 **I pulled away, excited to examine them. They were black with three red rings towards the tip. I flipped them in my hands and it felt like magic.**

 **"** **Glad you like them." She grinned. "You'll definitely kick ass with those."**

 **My hands dipped and dodged them in the air with practiced skill. My eyes slid up to Barry's. He watched me with careful eyes, I couldn't really tell what he was thinking. Whatever it was, I couldn't watch it any longer.**

 **The van stopped and the only thing to do was spring into action. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. This was my shot to prove to myself that I was good enough to do this, to help people. This was my shot to prove to Barry that I hadn't screwed my life up on a whim. After tonight, either he accept it or he doesn't.**

 **"** **Be careful." He told me as we jumped out of the van.**

 **"** **You, too."**

 **I pocketed my sticks as we went for our posts. Laurel and I were crouched behind a stack of crates while Oliver and Barry surrounded the gang of baddies.**

 **Why couldn't people just make money the honest way? If Oliver made his presence known then they'd expect the Arrow. Not all four of us. Laurel and I could take out the six baddies while Barry grabbed the drugs and put them in the truck. Thea would drive them away and call an anonymous tip into the SCPD. Easy.**

 **"** **Look what I found?" A voice yelled from behind us.**

 **Laurel and I turned to see a balding guy with his gun pointed at us and a shit eating grin on his face. I quickly put the earplugs in as Laurel opened her mouth and let out the supersonic Canary Cry. The guy dropped to his knees with his hands over his ears.**

 **I took the plugs out and rose with a kick to the guy's face. He slumped to the ground, out cold. I grabbed his gun and slid it into an empty holster.**

 **Gun shots fired. We ducked and peered around the crate to find Oliver taking out the guys one by one. But the drugs were still well protected. Laurel and I split up with a nod. The first guy that spotted me was coming up the stairs. I easily disarmed him with a swift knock of his wrist, then I kicked him down the stairs. With the gun in my hand I unloaded the magazine and dropped both. The guy was starting to stand and I threw him the rest of the way down the stairs. I jumped over him and headed for the closet guy. He tried to shoot me, but I kicked the gun out of his hand. He snarled at me, thinking his size would intimidate me.**

 **I ducked his throws, punching him in the stomach. Two other guys jumped in. I leaned back, evading their hits. I punched two of them in the throat while I kicked the third guy, he stumbled back. One of them hit me in the back. I punched the closest in the jaw, he faltered. My leg swung out and kicked them both in the chest. One fell while the bald guy swung out at me, I dodged it and kicked his foot from under him. I twisted someone's arm and flipped him in the air, he fell to the ground with a thud. The sound of battle surrounded me, I just hoped Barry was getting the drugs out of here. They could be criminals if they didn't have something illegal to sell.**

 **A punch hit me across the face, drawing me back to the fight. I grabbed my escrima sticks and hit a few keys body of them stayed down after the blows I delivered. The balding guy was left. He tried to hit me, but I jumped in the air and kicked him back a few feet.**

 **Adrenaline laced through my veins. I looked to Laurel and she was doing fine on her own while Oliver raced after the head of the operation. I noticed the drugs were gone except for one crate. Needing something to do I joined Laurel in kicking some ass. I kicked a guy's back, he tumbled forward. Laurel knocked her baton into a guy's stomach then hit him across the face.**

 **"** **Let's go!" Barry yelled.**

 **Laurel looked back at me and gestured for me to follow.**

 **What? We still had some ass kickery to do. As if on cue, the police sirens rang in the distance. To remember me by I gave the closest guy a parting uppercut. Which was a mistake because I heard the click of a hammer pulling back on a gun. Before I knew it, Barry had me pinned to a wall, every part of him against me. My body hummed to life.**

 **He glared at me with angry eyes. "I told you to be careful."**

 **My eyes slid behind him and I pushed him out of the way to knock my stick into the baddie's head that was coming for us. He groaned, but he wasn't done. He punched out, hitting me in the stomach. I swerved around and kicked him in the lower back. He swiftly hit me in the mouth, my head knocked back and I tasted blood. He tried to uppercut me, but I twirled my stick and hit him in his bloody fell to his knees, I kneed him in the face. Of course there was always the one guy that wouldn't quite, all I had to do was roundhouse kick him for him to stumble back, I grabbed his arm and twisted so I could flip him onto his back.**

 **My eyes found Barry's. "Now we can get out of here."**

 **The sirens were a lot closer.**

 **He nodded, clearly impressed. He picked me up.**

 **"** **Wait, where's Laurel?"**

 **He gave me a look. "She's on the back of Oliver's motorcycle." He sped off.**

 **We were back at the lair in no time. Obviously, we beat everyone there so it was just us two. Barry set me down. He slid back his his mask, his brown hair sticking up all sexy like.**

 **I took off the mask, my hand rubbed the back of my neck.**

 **"** **Iris," He said after a moment.**

 **"** **Don't." I held up a hand as I turned from him. "Don't say that I was reckless and stupid. I did what I had to help catch those guys. It was exhilarating. I was good out there, Barry."**

 **"** **No," He started.**

 **I turned to him.**

 **"** **You were great."**

 **That was the last thing I expected to come from his mouth.**

 **Even with that said he still didn't look happy about it, like there was still this great threat out there ready to ruin his life. Somehow, I thought I'd feel better about this after tonight, after he saw what I could do, but things between us were still shit.**

 **"** **Are you really dating that Daryl guy?" He blurted out.**

 **I stilled, not expecting him to care enough to ask. I was kind of hoping I could get by with the don't ask don't tell policy. Obviously not the case here.**

 **Without thinking it over, I told him, "No, not that it's any of your business." I started to take off the suit, but it was a little tighter than I thought. I struggled for a minute before he came to my aid. "These things should really come with a zipper down the back." I joked because the feel of his breath on the back of my neck put me on edge. He worked some kind of magic and before I knew it he had my top off. I was glad I worn a bra under that. Even still, I could feel his eyes scanning down my body. I took a step back and gave him an appreciatory half grin.**

 **"** **I'll have to figure that out next time." I threw on my black sweater and kept the leather pants on.**

 **"** **Or you could get Laurel to help you take it off." He suggested.**

 **My hands found my escrima sticks, I turned them over a few times as I surveyed him. Was he jealous? Not there was anything to be jealous about. With a smirk, I shelved them above Laurel's baton spot. I walked over and picked up an arrow, I weighed it in my hands.**

 **I looked to Barry. "How fast can you," I threw the arrow. "Dodge an arrow."**

 **He caught it no problem. A smirk on his face as he walked over. "You're going to have to be faster than that." He placed it back on the shelf.**

 **"** **Are you leaving tonight?" I blurted out.**

 **He shook his head. "Tomorrow."**

 **I nodded. "Where are you staying?" I didn't think he slept at Oliver's last night.**

 **He looked uncomfortable.**

 **"** **Thea's?"**

 **He met my gaze. "Yeah."**

 **I nervously scratched my back. "So last night were you serious about your mom? Do you really think she's alive?"**

 **He perked up a bit. "Joe and I combed through the case and things didn't add up. I told Dr. Wells about the man in the yellow suit, he thinks I might be onto something. We've been looking for clues, going over living room in my house. Her grave is empty, Iris." A hopeful grin on his face.**

 **Hope sprouted in my chest. I didn't want to hear it when he first told me about it, but maybe there was a chance Nora Allen was still alive. I was still scared he'd be crushed if nothing turned up.**

 **I grinned. "That's great," My hand found his.**

 **The door opened and I tugged my hand away. Thea was the first to walk in, then Laurel, and then Oliver. They looked at us like they were walking into something. There was nothing.**

 **"** **I don't know about you guys, but I'm famished." I patted my stomach.**

 **A/N: I tried to make this chapter longer for yall cuz the last few have been on the short side.**


	35. Fools

**The song for this chapter is Lauren Aquilina - Fools**

 **IRIS' POV:**

 **My first day of work was shaping up to be a disaster if there ever was one. So far I had spilled coffee on someone's dress, angered that Mason guy that mentored Daryl, and the Editor-In-Chief wanted me to write about The Flash. Double sigh.**

 **I slunk into my swivel chair at my very own desk by the copier. My legs crossed in my green dress and brown boots. How very ironic was it that I was once great friends with The Flash and now I had to research him to write a stupid article? Barry was in town, I suppose I could just ask him some stuff. At least get a quote. My eyes rolled. I'd make something up, it wasn't like Barry was going to rat me out if I did.**

 **Daryl came to sit on the edge of my desk, his hands in his lap. "How's it going so far, newbie?" His sandy blonde hair falling into his eyes.**

 **Damn he was hot.**

 **My eyes rolled. "Very spectacular."**

 **He laughed. "So I lied about not throwing you into the lion's den. This is it." He leaned down a little. "Don't worry, I'll guide you in the right direction. It's all very easy once you get the hang of it."**

 **I bit my bottom lip, his eyes fell on my mouth. Maybe not the best thing to be doing.**

 **"** **So, tell me one thing." I rolled closer to him. "Was I hired because of my connection to The Flash?"**

 **His forehead creased in concern. "No, why would you think that?"**

 **"** **Maybe because I have no experience, no references, no faith that I can do this. And Larkin told me to write a piece on The Flash." I shrugged.**

 **He shook his head. "No, that's not it. Larkin knows your fresh. He wanted you to start with something that you're familiar with, people would know your name. They would read your articles if they knew you were a reporter." His hand rested on my shoulder. "Go clear your head or do whatever you need to. Then the story will come to you." He left.**

 **With an internal groan, I turned to the computer.**

 **That afternoon I had a training session with Laurel. The last person Barry entered the gym dressed in black from head to toe.**

 **My pulse raced as I stood from my stretch. "What are you doing here?"**

 **"I asked Laurel if I could train you today. I hope that's alright."**

 **Of course it wasn't.**

 **"Why? You haven't changed your mind." I knew that for a fact**

 **"No, but I thought it would be a good lesson." He circled me. "You have to be prepared to fight an opponent that you know," His eyes averted. "Someone that you love."**

 **My hands propped on my hips. This was trouble waiting to happen.**

 **"It can be hard to hurt someone you love, but when it's right you have to forget about those feelings in order to do good."**

 **Was he speaking from experience?**

 **"So you want me to hit you?"**

 **He smirked. "I want you to try."**

 **That wasn't going to be too hard. I could muster up some anger towards Barry.**

 **My hand flashed out and hit him in the throat. He stumbled back, his brow arched as he looked at me with impressed eyes.**

 **"Do you want to get your ass beat?" I smirked.**

 **He stood in a self defense stance, his fists ready to protect him. "We'll see."**

 **I knew he wasn't going to make the first move so I did it for him. My leg kicked out, hitting him in the sternum. He grabbed my foot and pulled me towards him as he swung around. My other foot pushed against his leg. He stumbled back once he lost his grip. I took advantage and and gave him an ascending elbow under his jaw. He was quick to capture both of my arms behind my back. His first mistake was thinking that I wasn't stronger than him because I was, and not realizing that Laurel and I were in this position multiple times so I knew how to maneuver out of it quite well. Sadly, I stayed there for longer than I should've. His breath on the back of my neck felt all kinds of delicious, his strong grip tight on my wrists.**

 **To throw him off, I pretended that I was going to stomp on his foot. It was the only part of my body that was free from his grasp so he'd pay attention to it. When he moved his foot out of the way I headbutted him, with my hands mobile again I swung at his head, but he blocked it. He threw a lame punch at my stomach, but I easily pushed him away.**

 **Was he not hitting trying because I was a girl? I mean, I could understand that, but I deserved for him to at least try. I wanted him to treat me equally.**

 **So of course, Anger filled me.**

 **My eyes on his, I glared at him. My foot shot out, hit him in the knee. I jab crossed his ass, but he ducked on the last jab. His leg kicked out and swept my feet from under me, but I saw that move come a mile away, so I moved my knee to his chest and flipped him over on the his back as we both landed on the floor. With one of his legs on one of mine I kicked the free one and hit him in the chest. His leg on mine pressed down into the floor while he tried to my hand shot out and knocked him in the head hard enough to make me worry. That moment of weakness was all he needed to switch things up.**

 **His lips locked down onto mine with ease, the first time he used his speed in this fight. His hand closed around my throat as his other hand held my wrists above my head. My heart pounded out of my chest while he stared down at me, his eyes drifted to my mouth. My body felt aflame under his touch, even if he was threatening my life.**

 **"** **This is how easy I could hurt you." He leaned closer as his grip tightened.**

 **As his hips pressed into mine I gave an involuntary moan.**

 **He got a dark glint to his eyes as realized what kind of position we were in. As if it brought back some horrible memory he flashed away, a scared look in his eyes.**

 **LINDA'S POV:**

 **"Cisco," I begged. "Could you just look at me for a second?"**

 **He huffed, his arms crossed his chest as he turned to me. "I really don't want to."**

 **I know I deserved this but it hurt to see him this upset with me.**

 **"You wanted to know, remember."**

 **He shrugged. "I didn't want to know that you have feelings for Wally. I wanted to know if you wanted a break, not for you to date someone else."**

 **"It's not like I'm going to jump in a relationship with him..." My hand ran down my face in frustration. "I just need some time figure out what I want. Can't that be okay?"**

 **He sat on the arm of the couch, his eyes tired. He reached his hand out for mine. "If we're both being honest neither of us have been in this relationship for months. I think we've both been a bit preoccupied. A break sounds nice."**

 **I grinned a little happy that we weren't screaming at each other. "Maybe we could work on our friendship."**

 **He gave a wry grin. "Sure." He pulled me in for a hug. "Do me a favor, don't shove it in my face with Wally. Okay?"**

 **I squeezed him to me. "Promise."**

 **I wasn't even sure if things would work out with Wally. He was a player after, but I think it went without saying that everyone knew there was something going on between us even if they didn't know what it was. It's not like I broke up with Cisco to be with Wally. I just knew that my mind was on other things besides Cisco. When you want things to be simple they tend to get complicated on multiple levels. My headspace was jumbled and I needed a little me time.**

 **With a final hug we said goodbye.**

 **I headed to Jitters hoping to get a distraction from my thoughts for hours over coffee and some homework.**

 **Caitlin came up to me with a cronut and a scowl. "Hey," She sat down.**

 **"Hey,"**

 **"What's wrong with you?" she cut the cronut in half and passed me the other half while stuffing hers in her mouth.**

 **"Nothing."**

 **Her brow rose. "You've been here for an hour and You've been staring at the same page for at least half of that."**

 **I shrugged. "A lot, I guess. What about you?"**

 **"Ronnie won't answer my calls. He's being a jackass. An entitled jackass but still a jackass."**

 **I picked at the cronut. "You should corner him. Tell him how you feel and go from there."**

 **She huffed. "Why am I so afraid?"**

 **"Because you actually love him and vice versa. You just need to be real with yourself about how you feel when you see him. How it feels when you're apart. That right there is how you feel about Ronnie. Stop fighting it, Cait."**

 **She nodded. "I get what you're saying but what if it;s not enough? What if we ruin it all?"**

 **"What if you love love like fools?"**

 **She chuckled. "Are you quoting Lauren Aquilina?"**

 **"Yes." I grinned. "You just need to give it a chance. What more could you lose?"**

 **She pouted. "Ronnie."**

 **I leaned forward. "He knows you feel something for him. You wouldn't have slept with him if you didn't."**

 **She stilled. "How do you know about that? I only told Iris."**

 **"Ronnie confided in me. He wanted some advice."**

 **"What did you tell him?"**

 **"That he needed to give you some space, let you come to him."**

 **She balked at me. "Why?"**

 **I gave her a look. "It worked didn't it. You have to show him how much he means to you. He's scared and heartbroken."**

 **She gave a wry grin. "So am I, on top of the confusion."**

 **I grabbed her hand and , you know I love you, but get your head out of your ass."**

 **She paled, clearly offended. She pulled her head away.**

 **"Hey, if you didn't want to be with Ronnie you wouldn't be stressing over this so much. You'd tell him you didn't have feelings for him. You'd be looking at other girls."**

 **She sighed. "You're right."**

 **Well, that was easy.**

 **"Damn straight." she gave me a look, I had to add, "No pun intended."**

 **We laughed.**

 **After a moment she said, "I'll talk to him tomorrow. Now onto your boy problems." A grin in place.**

 **My eyes rolled. "How much time do we have?"**

 **CAITLIN'S POV:**

 **After talking to Linda for a while yesterday I figured why not take the leap. I knocked on the menacing door, my heart in my throat. What if he didn't answer? This was a last ditch effort, although he couldn't ignore me forever. Ever since I slipped up and kissed him on New Year's he's been avoiding me. I couldn't blame him with my mixed signals. Even I confused myself. So, here I was. Standing outside of his brother's apartment.**

 **"** **Ronnie, I know you're in there." I knocked again. "I just want to talk."**

 **After a few seconds the door opened and there stood Richard, his older brother. If the bags under his eyes were any indication, he looked tired. "Caitlin," He offered a half grin. "Ronnie isn't here."**

 **My hands went to my hips, wondering if Ronnie told him to say that. "Well, where is he then?"**

 **"** **At school." He gave me a knowing look as he leaned against the door frame. "Look, Caitlin, I know you care about my brother, but if you don't love him the way he loves you then I beg you to stay out of his life. He's had enough people walk out on him, so don't string him along if you're just going to let him down. He won't be able to recover from that."**

 **His words hurt my heart, but they were true. I nodded.**

 **"** **Can I wait here for him?"**

 **He motioned for me to come inside. "I was just on my way to work. He'll probably be a while, I think he has his tutoring sessions today." He closed the door. "Annie's in her room if you want to say hi."**

 **"** **Thanks." I half grinned then headed down the hall.**

 **I knocked on the door with the an A on it.**

 **"** **Come in." She announced.**

 **I popped my head in the door. "Hey,"**

 **She layed on her bed on her stomach, magazines around her as she kicked her feet in the air, a cellphone in her hand. "Cait!," She jumped up and hugged me. "What are you doing here?"**

 **I grinned as I squeezed her tight, my hand went to her short dark boy cut. "I'm here to see you, Ms. Banana." I teased.**

 **She gave a wry laugh. "Remind me to kill Ronnie for telling you that I liked to be called Ms. Banana when I was younger."**

 **I laughed. "Will do."**

 **She pulled away and we sat on her bed. "So, can I talk to you about something?"**

 **Richard popped his head in the door. "I'm headed out, Annie. Tell Ronnie that dinner's in the fridge and I took care of his..." His eyes shifted to mine briefly before going back to hers. "His friend's problem."**

 **Annie stiffened beside me and gave a swift nod.**

 **"** **Love you, I'll call you tonight." He waved at me. "Nice seeing you again, Caitlin."**

 **I waved. "You, too."**

 **He left and I could tell that there was a dramatic shift in Annie's mood.**

 **With a plan in mind, I stood. "Let's go get some ice cream."**

 **She offered a weak half smile as she nodded.**

 **I scooted into the booth of her favorite ice cream parlor, two chocolate brownie oreo cups in my hands.**

 **She dug in without question.**

 **My brow rose as I followed suit. "Back at your house, you sounded like you wanted to tell me something."**

 **"** **I can't remember what it was, must haven't been that important." She looked around the parlor only to shrink in herself and avoid looking up. "Oh, no."**

 **"** **What?" I looked around for what could've made her act that way. "What is it?"**

 **A boy with longish dark hair came to stand in front of our table. "Annie, hey." He half grinned.**

 **Annie glanced up at him, her nerves all over her face. "Jessie."**

 **Oh. Jessie.**

 **A grin came to my lips even though I tried to hid it. The Jessie that defended her when the little assholes at school picked on her for having a boy's hair cut. It's like they couldn't be more insensitive, the girl had to go through chemo for her breast cancer. At least, that's what Ronnie gossiped to me. Ronnie seemed very concerned, apparently this guy was thirteen, so it was a big deal for Ronnie.**

 **He held out his hand to me and offered a polite grin. "Hi, I'm Jessie. I'm a friend of Annie's."**

 **Impressed, I shook his hand. "I'm Caitlin, also a friend of Annie's."**

 **I discreetly kicked Annie's foot under the table.**

 **She looked up at me with daggers in her eyes before turning to look at Jessie, her cheeks all pink. "What are you doing here?" She realized how lame that sounded and gave a nervous chuckle.**

 **He smiled at her adorably as he gestured behind him to a group of people. "I'm with some friends. If I had known you were coming here I would've come alone."**

 **She blushed even harder. "Gee."**

 **I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep the grin off of my face.**

 **He chuckled. "Maybe another time we can get ice cream, just the two of us?"**

 **She nodded. "That would be okay with me, you know, if you wanted ice cream and me in the same room."**

 **Foot all the way down her throat.**

 **He full on grinned at her quirkiness. "I would definitely be okay with having you and ice cream in the same room."**

 **She bit her lip nervously.**

 **He looked back at his friends. "Well, I should get back to my friends." He held out his hand again. "Nice to meet you, Caitlin."**

 **I shook his hand. "You, too, Jessie."**

 **He waved to Annie as he turned away.**

 **She shot up. "Wait,"**

 **He turned back around with wide eyes filled with hope.**

 **She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her hands fidgeting. "Uh, I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me."**

 **His forehead creased, confusion in his eyes. "What are you talking about?"**

 **A small grin found her lips. "Jessie, I know you straighten out the kids at school for me. Thank you."**

 **He gave a nod. "I didn't think you noticed."**

 **"** **I noticed." She smiled.**

 **I'll just slide out and they won't even notice.**

 **"** **Cait, where are you going?" Annie asked.**

 **I gave her a look, wanting her to do her thing. "The bathroom."**

 **I waited in the bathroom for about five minutes to give them enough time to chat. If I couldn't have a love life at least one person should be. When I walked out the last person I expected to see was Ronnie walking into the parlor, worry in his face.**

 **Once he found Annie with Jessie he relaxed, then his eyes found me. We hadn't seen each other in two weeks. Two weeks, one day, and six hours to be precise. That felt like an eternity. Naturally, my heart lurched in my chest.**

 **He seemed to piece together the puzzle as he hesitantly walked over. "You brought her here?"**

 **I nodded, my throat had closed momentarily.**

 **"** **I was worried sick about her." He watched his baby sister with concerned eyes. "She wasn't answering her phone."**

 **"** **Richard said you had tutoring, I didn't think you'd be done so quickly. We wanted ice cream." My eyes hadn't left him since he opened his mouth. I had to take him in, remember all the details of him in case he didn't want to see me after today. He had a little stubble going and it was working for him.**

 **He sighed, his masculine hand rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing, Cait?"**

 **"** **There was a time when you would've asked me if I was with Annie. You didn't even text me to see if I knew where she was. That's what I'm doing." My arms folded across my chest in case my heart decided to leap out and run away.**

 **His jaw hardened as he turned his body to look at Annie. "This was what you wanted remember. I gave you the space to think, the space you asked for."**

 **My hand reached out for his shoulder, hoping he'd look at me. "I wanted you to understand that I was confused not that I wanted you to stop talking to me. I thought we were friends."**

 **His eyes shot to mine like I slapped him. "That was the problem, Cait. We weren't just friends, not to me."**

 **My hand slipped away. "I can't give you an honest answer, so you're just going to kick me out of your life?"**

 **"** **Being around you hurts, Cait." His blue eyes slid to mine. "You confuse the hell out of me and I want to give you time to straighten out your mind, but I can't be around you while you do it." He sighed. "I'm sorry."**

 **He couldn't do that. Could he?**

 **He walked over to Annie who was having a nice and awkward conversation with Jessie. By the looks of it Ronnie wanted her to leave with him. Annie looked absolutely mortified to see her brother. She didn't look like she wanted to leave, but she respected Ronnie enough to do what he said. Still, she didn't look happy about it. When she wrapped her arms around me she whispered, "Please, just kiss my brother already so he can stop being an ass."**

 **I was now in her position and a blush came to my face, only Ronnie was smiling at me. I wanted to tell her that I wished I could, but I was a bundle of nerves, concerns, and irrational fears. I didn't tell her that. So, instead, I squeezed her back.**

 **She pulled away with sad eyes. "Don't give up on him." She whispered.**

 **Ronnie held the door opened for her, clearly wanting to get out of here and away from me as soon as possible. I didn't much blame him.**

 **"** **I won't." I promised both of them.**

 **IRIS' POV:**

 **After Barry excused himself to go outside for a bit I ran a few laps around the gym, needing a break from my thoughts. This was not on my to do list for the day. Nope, nowhere on it does it say that Barry confuses me and I backstep with my feelings. So I just needed a few minutes to get my headspace together.**

 **"** **Are you and Laurel lesbians together?" He blurted out**

 **I stopped running. My eyes widened as I stared at him. "What? I...Laurel and I aren't together." I remembered that voices echoed in here, but there was no one at the top of the steps. I looked at him. "Why would you say that?"**

 **He shrugged, his arms folded across his broad chest. "I see the way her touch affects you, it's different."**

 **I so could not talk about this with him. My hands propped on my hips. "You can't just blow into town and expect me to talk about my love life with you."**

 **He narrowed his eyes. "So you admit there's love there?"**

 **My eyes rolled. "Oh, please. Besides it was just a kiss." I stilled at my verbal slip.**

 **Barry gaped at me, I couldn't tell if he was angry or turned on. "You kissed Laurel?"**

 **My hand swatted at his chest. "Shhh."**

 **He laughed. "I can't get that image out of my head, you break my heart."**

 **Why were we talking about this again?**

 **I put some distance between us, I didn't want to think about how he just straddled me and I cried out in pleasure and he ran away. Was I that off-putting to him?**

 **"** **Back to training," I grabbed my escrima sticks from my bag and handed him one. "Oliver didn't train you with these did he?"**

 **He took one and flipped it in his hand. "No, but how hard could it be to learn?"**

 **I whipped mine out and hit him in the throat.**

 **He flashed away, too late. "Ow. You didn't give me a warning."**

 **A grin found my lips. "You should be able to pick it up easily like you just said." I teased. "Come back here so I can hit you some more."**

 **He shook his head. "I don't know about all of that."**

 **"** **Stop being a baby, it doesn't hurt that much."**

 **He gave a wry chuckle as he cautiously neared me. "Okay, then let me hit you with one in the neck."**

 **My brow rose. If earlier proved anything, he wouldn't hurt me. Maybe it was guilt, or maybe he held onto the remnants of our friendship, but he so obviously didn't want to hurt me.**

 **"** **You could try." I stepped forward.**

 **I pulled my left arm to my chest and lashed out the tip of my stick and it was about to hit his neck when he blocked my stick with the tip of his. I went for the other side and he blocked it again. With a new target in mind, I aimed lower and hit his knee.**

 **He groaned and glared at me.**

 **I grinned. "You said you learned fast."**

 **He got a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he nodded.**

 **Knowing he still wouldn't get it down this time, I aimed for his neck. He watched me carefully, blocking all of my attacks until I hit him I swung the stick down, raised it to his groin and lowered it onto his head. Finally, I jammed it into his center.**

 **He fell to his knees, clutching his private parts. "Oh my God, Iris." He groaned.**

 **A part of me should be satisfied with hurting him, but I really wasn't. It did nothing for me, it helped me move on in no way. All I wanted to do this very second was comfort him, but I stayed away. It was because of him that I was here. I didn't blame him, I wanted to blame him for helping me jumpstart my life.**

 **"** **You ready to go again?"**

 **His eyes shot to mine, as if recognizing the distance between us for the first time since he stepped inside the gym. He stood. "I knew you were always strong, but never this strong." His gaze went straight through me. "You shouldn't have to be this strong."**

 **We were back to that? I suppose we never left.**

 **I nodded, a scowl on my face. "So you want me to go back to being weak? You want me to stop my life here and go back to writing my little blog about The Flash? You want me to be in constant danger of getting stabbed or kidnapped by a Metahuman?" I took a step closer to him. "Because that girl that you gave a ride home to all those months ago was weak, Barry. I was in the way. I can help people now, I feel like I have a purpose." My eyes searched his. "Is that so wrong?"**

 **"** **No, it's not wrong, but you shouldn't have to do this. You could go to college or travel the world. Do whatever you want. You don't have this burden on your shoulders, you could've lived your life normal and happy." He insisted, his eyes begging mine. "You still can."**

 **How many times were we going to run in the same circle? It was exhausting and I honestly just wanted to move forward with my life.**

 **I took a step back. "Either you accept that I'm apart of this lifestyle now or you don't and we don't have any sort of relationship." I stared at him, waiting for him to tell me whether or not he was going to be in my life.**

 **He stood there for several moments until he shook his head. His jaw clenched.**

 **I nodded once. With a final breath I said, "Goodbye, Barry."**

 **This had to happen. I couldn't keep singing the same song with him. This was my life now. If he couldn't accept it, accept me, what kind of life could we have together? What kind of friendship could we have?**

 **"** **Iris," He called.**

 **I didn't turn around.**

 **I almost made it to the door when he said, "You died, alright."**

 **That stopped me in my tracks. I turned around to face him. "What?"**

 **He was in front of me in a flash. His green eyes held heartache. "You died. I saw it happen."**

 **My head shook. "What are you talking about, Barry? I'm right here. I didn't die." He really needed some sleep. I turned to leave.**

 **He grabbed my shoulders and held me into place. "No, listen to me." He swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes frantic while begging me to understand. "You died. Ronnie was in trouble and Caitlin called you and we rushed over. I told you to stay out of it, but you didn't listen. You helped fight off some guys that were trying to hurt Ronnie. And you ended up dead, Iris."**

 **I still didn't know what he was talking about. "How could I don't remember any of this?"**

 **"** **Because," He sighed, looking defeated. "I went back in time and changed the past or I guess the present."**

 **"** **Really? You expect me to believe that?"**

 **"** **Iris, why would I lie about this? You died to protect your friends."**

 **To entertain him I played along. "So how did I die?"**

 **He rubbed his forehead. "You don't want to know."**

 **I shrugged my shoulders. "If I died, I want to know how it happened."**

 **He stared intensly at my forehead before he pressed a finger to it. "You were shot right here." His eyes drifted down to mine. "You died before I could say goodbye. There was nothing I could do." His eyes glossed over and I knew he was about to cry. "I held you in my arms, your eyes were lifeless. The blood kept pouring from your head." He shook his head as he walked away from me.**

 **"** **Bear, I want to believe you, but that's not possible. How do you know it wasn't a dream?"**

 **"** **Because I keep reliving it in my head!" He all but yelled at me. He faced me with tears running down his face. "You were** ** _dead_** **." He stressed. "Caitlin lost it, she killed the guys."**

 **Now I knew he was crazy.**

 **"** **Why would she do that? How would she do that? She can't kill a fly for pete's sake!"**

 **"** **You want to know how? Because she's a metahuman, like you." His tone beyond accusatory.**

 **How did he know? I hadn't told anyone.**

 **"** **You showed me before we left because you trusted me."**

 **I didn't trust him now so I couldn't see myself trusting him in another timeline. Then again, was that the point of another timeline, that things were different?**

 **"** **And why exactly did I trust you enough to tell you? We had a lot of problems before I left, Barry. So what happened? What was different there than here?"**

 **He looked hesitant to answer, he turned away from me.**

 **"** **No, you don't get to be shy now." I turned him to look at me. "What happened?" I dried his tears away.**

 **The way he looked at me now, I hadn't seen that for a long time. His eyes searched mine, as if hoping I'd remember.**

 **"** **We were together."**

 **I didn't understand. I pulled away from him. "How were we together if you were with Thea?" I really hoped that he hadn't cheated on Thea with me.**

 **He held my gaze. "Because I didn't lie to you there. And we were happy for a few hours." A small smile found his lips.**

 **My head hurt.**

 **"** **Define together."**

 **He gave a wry grin. "We were together in that way." He eyed me carefully, gauging my reaction.**

 **I couldn't breathe. "What?" I fanned myself. Was it hot in here or was it just me? My back found the wall as I slid to the floor, air became non existent in my lungs.**

 **He squatted in front of me, worry in his eyes. "Not the reaction I hoped for." He fanned me, his hand moving extremely fast in front of my face, my hair blew back. He stopped when I could make my body work again. "Are you okay?" His hands rested on my knee and shoulder.**

 **I swallowed the lump in my throat. "We had sex?" I felt uncomfortable saying it.**

 **"** **Yes," His eyes were all vulnerable. "And I know it's not fair to tell you all this, but I couldn't keep lying to you anymore, Iris." He seemed to think that I was still skeptical, so he added, "Ask Caitlin about her powers. Ask Ronnie. They haven't told any of us."**

 **My head shook. "No, I believe you." I hadn't told anyone about me having healing abilities, there was no way that he could know that. And there was no way he'd lie about something like us being together I took him in, feeling a confusing array of emotions. "So you made up having feelings for Thea to push me away? You told my dad about me to make me hate you?"**

 **He nodded, his eyes not meeting mine. "I didn't know any other way, you have to believe me." His eyes slowly slid to mine. "I'm so sorry."**

 **Hours ago him telling me that he was sorry probably wouldn't have meant much, but now it meant a whole lot. And that was scary. Everything that I thought I knew about Barry and I was wrong. In my mind, he fell out of love with me and into it with Thea. He wanted me out of his life. I accepted that. I made peace with the fact that our friendship was forever changed and that whether I wanted it to be true or not, there would always be apart of me that would have feelings for him. Now he was telling me that the past two months were a lie and he what? He wanted to be with me? Too much information.**

 **"** **Barry," I sighed, my hand found his. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth? You didn't have to make up this whole scheme."**

 **His eyes bore into mine. "You know what it was like. We were intimate for the first time in a long time and for a few hours we were actually happy. Then you died and everyone lost their minds. I've never seen so many people I care about heartbroken. Everyone was there, everyone lost it. I didn't want that to happen, I didn't want Caitlin to have that much blood on her hands. So I changed everything." His hand reached up to cup my face. "I didn't think Joe would kick you out of the house like that or that you would leave Central City. I just wanted you to be safe, even if that meant you came to hate me."**

 **My heart softened. "I really wish you had told me. Do you realize how awful it's been not being friend's with you the last two months?"**

 **Of course I didn't regret being here, growing a little more, getting stronger, and finding a job. But having a wedge between the two of us was a huge weight on my shoulders.**

 **He nodded. "Trust me, I know." His thumb caressed my cheek, a slight grin on his lips. "I've missed you, Flower."**

 **Before I had time to process, he leaned down and pressed his lips onto mine. My hand grabbed the back of his neck to deepen the kiss, only to realize what a mistake I was making, but then his hands grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of his lap. I moaned into his mouth. His hands on my back pressed me closer to him as if he couldn't get enough of me. His mouth went to my neck, giving me a moment to breathe. In that moment, I remembered my realization from earlier.**

 **I jumped back, scooting out of his lap.**

 **He looked at me with confused eyes. "What's wrong?"**

 **I couldn't believe I was about to say this but it had to be said. "You lied to me again. I kept my ability from you, but this was totally different. The fact that we slept together is huge, Barry."**

 **He sighed, his hand ran over his mouth. "We have a fucked up friendship, what else is new? It's been that way for years."**

 **Very true.**

 **"** **Not even that, you made me believe you were over me for two months and now you expect me to be okay with whatever it is you want from me? What if I've moved on? I have my own life here."**

 **He nodded. "I understand that. I didn't tell you in hopes you'd change your mind or feel sorry for me. I just wanted you to know. This was the last thing I expected to happen when I came here."**

 **Speaking of his arrival.**

 **"** **You're leaving, going back home."**

 **His eyes searched mine. "Do I have a reason to stay longer?"**

 **Even though I wanted to get back on his lap there were still issues between us. No amount of making out would change that. He just flipped my world upside down again. I needed time to get used to that.**

 **My eyes went to the floor as my head shook. "I'm sorry, but I can't. You were too late."**

 **He stayed quiet for a few moments until I looked up. "One of these days we'll get it right." He said with so much certainty that I believed him.**

 **I gave a tiny grin. "Maybe."**

A/N: Okay, don't be mad at me yall, but I actually ship Barry with Parry Spivot after Tuesday's episode. Obviously, it's going to be a while before Iris and Barry get together


	36. Don't You Wait

The song for this chapter is Cloves – Don't You Wait

IRIS' POV:

A knock on my door woke me up. My eyes went to the clock that read 7:45am then narrowed at the culprit behind the door. With a sneer I stumbled out of bed.

Barry stood there with a sad half grin, a bag in his hand.

Thirteen hours. That was all I had to register and process that what Barry said to me could be true. While I didn't believe he'd lie about something that huge to garner sympathy from me if he wasn't actually with Thea, there was five percent of me that was still skeptical. With his hazel eyes on me now that five percent faded. Even though I know he wasn't undressing me with his eyes or maybe he was, it was Barry, but I could feel them seeing all of me. They had gazed at my body in full length before. He had been intimate with me and I couldn't remember it. Even though he said he didn't tell me to make me feel sorry for him, I still did.

Now it looked like neither of us knew what to say to. We stood there in silence, staring at each other.

My eyes went back to the bag in his hand. "You're leaving?"

He blinked a few times then swallowed the lump in his throat. "Uh, yeah. I have to get back. I only came to help out Oliver." He averted his gaze for a moment, then met my gaze. "Actually, I asked Oliver if I could help." He gave a tiny shrug. "I wanted to see you."

A grin found my lips as I looked to the side.

"Look, I know I can't take back what I told you or my actions and I shouldn't have told you about the other timeline, but I'm glad that you know now." His hand reached down to mine. "I couldn't stand it knowing you thought I didn't love you." His other hand lifted my face up by my chin, his eyes bore into mine. "I do still love you, Iris. You've moved on, I get it, but I didn't want to leave without you knowing that."

"Barry..."

He shook his head. "I'll be here for you, however you want me. No pressure. Just promise me one thing,"

I nodded.

"In the future, when I'm being an asshole for not wanting you involved in all of this, don't forget that I have my reasons. Be patient with me. Okay?"

I nodded again.

He pulled away and I felt like it was going to be a while before I saw him again.

I pulled him back for a hug. "Call me when you get home."

"Sure." He pulled away.

RONNIE'S POV:

"Ronnie," Annie chided. "You didn't have to skip school today to take me to my checkup." She looked around the painfully plain hospital room as we waited for the doctor to return.

She seemed so vulnerable laying on the bed. Her short hair had grown a little more in the last few weeks. Her confidence had grown about her appearance, mostly because Jessie was there to tell her she was beautiful. The kid was okay, he reminded me a little of myself at his age. Although they were only friends, I feared that he was too attached to her and vice versa. My sister's health could go up or down at any moment. I didn't want to have to deal with his heartache along with mine if anything were to happen to her.

My hand squeezed hers. "Banana, I'm ditching because I have a test I didn't study for," I grinned. "Don't think you're special."

She laughed, her eyes scrunched up. "I am special," She stuck her tongue out.

There was a quick knock on the door before the doctor reentered. The moment his eyes met mine I knew the news wasn't good.

He gave a smile anyways. "How's it going in here?"

Annie seemed to notice the sadness too, but she grinned. "I've been better."

He nodded as he sat in the swivel chair, he gave a grim half smile as he rolled closer to the bed. "I'm going to be frank with you, Annie. Chemo didn't destroy all of your cancer cells. We've caught this early on, so we're looking at pretty good odds here."

She gave a stiff nod. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she focused on her lap.

I rose from my seat. "No, there's something we can do. More chemo? Transfusion? Anything?"

Dr. Wang looked at me with understanding eyes. "This isn't the end of the world, Mr. Raymond. This is relatively normal in recovering cancer patients. We have options for Annie."

I nodded, putting on a brave face for Annie. This was one of her worse fears. I would do anything to make her better. With notes from the Dr. Wang, I walked Annie home when she turned to me and said, "I want to see Caitlin."

My anger flared. "Why do you want to see Cait?"

She punched my arm. "You know why. I miss her. Can we go by Jitters and see if she's there?" The wind ruffled her hair.

"No. What can she do for you?"

She punched my arm again and this time it actually hurt. "I don't get why you won't see her. She's obviously trying to be in your life. Why won't you let her?"

I shrugged. "You wouldn't understand."

"And boy does that saying get old. I'm eleven. I think I can get the gist of it." She gestured toward me. "You're in love with her. She's scared to admit she's in love with you because she isn't sure if she's bisexual, gay, or straight now. That about right?"

I gave her a look. "How'd you know all of that? I didn't tell you any of that."

She shrugged as she shoved her hands in her army jacket. "I have eyes you know. Plus, I overheard you venting to Rich about it."

A sigh escaped me. "You're a lot smarter than you look."

She playfully hit me. "Hey," A grin on her face. "Seriously though, go see her so she can stop asking me how you're doing."

Cait asked about me? She was so confusing; I didn't know what she wanted from me. Oh, right. Friendship.

My head shook. "It's not that simple. We just want different things."

She gave me a look that questioned my smarts. "Do you really think that she doesn't feel the same way, Ronnie?"

My initial instinct told me that Cait felt the same way, I could see it in her eyes. I knew my staying away was hurting her. But here we are, she hasn't said in words how she feels about me and that's what holds me back.

"How about you drop me off at Jessie's and you go to Jitters?" Annie proposed with a suggestive brow.

My brow rose. "How about I drop you off at home and I got see Iris."

She huffed. "If you must. You know, one of these days I'd like to meet this Iris. From what you and Cait told me she sounds pretty cool."

"Yeah, she is. Barry was a dumbass and drove her away."

"He's so hot."

My eyes narrowed. "If you ever repeat that I'm locking you in the basement."

She gave me a look. "We don't have a basement."

"Well, our apartment building does, so there you go."

She rolled her eyes.

BARRY'S POV:

With a sigh I walked the short distance to get to Snart. I looked around our usual place, the abandoned warehouse. He stood by the windows with a stern look on his face, like he didn't like what he saw. Having these meetings with Snart I realized there was more to him than I originally thought.

"Let's make this quick." I said.

He glanced at me then back at the window. "You have something for me?"

I pulled the new pair of snow goggles. "Here. Now, about whatever it is you wanted to tell me."

He walked over and placed them on the table. "We have a problem. There's whispers of League members around."

I shrugged. "If you're talking about Merlyn, the Arrow already told me and he doesn't scare me." I reached for the goggles, but he slapped my hand away. "Ow."

His eyes rolled. "I'm not talking about Merlyn, I'm talking about the Shadow Ghosts. I think they're in town."

"The what?" I tried not to laugh. "This is a joke right?"

"If they're in town then the man in yellow is the least of your problems, kid."

I nodded, entertaining him. "Okay, what are these Shadow Ghosts doing here? How long have they been here? We haven't gotten any reports about shadows or ghosts, so…"

He gave me a look. "That's because they work in the shadows and then disappear like ghosts. You won't see them unless they want you to."

My eyes rolled. "Of course. Okay, do you have any proof?"

He placed a picture of a person hanging by their feet tied to a staircase in an alley, he was beyond mutilated. He pointed to the mark on the guy's forehead. "This symbol, I've seen it before. When I was your age there was a string of vicious attacks in a span of months, every victim's throat was slashed, eyes were cut out, and had this symbol on their forehead."

I needed more information than that.

He sighed. "This picture was taken two days ago. They're here, kid. They're after people and I wouldn't want to run into them if I were you. I don't know too much about them, but I'm sure your buddy the Arrow knows a little about it."

It was something to look into. Dr. Wells might know something about it. I could call Oliver, he probably would know if something like this was going on. Wouldn't he tell me though?

"So why are you telling me this? Wouldn't it be convenient for you if I were out of the picture?" I questioned.

His head tilted. "I wouldn't have anyone to spare with."

I pocketed the picture. "Well, thanks for the head's up."

"One more thing," He said as I headed for the door. "I don't know if there's truth to it or not, but from the reports I've read, they usually get a person to do their bidding."

I turned to him. "What do you mean? Like an apprentice?"

"Like mind control. The people that were arrested for the killings all said they couldn't control themselves, almost like they were being forced to do it."

I nodded. "Thanks."

He grabbed his goggles and turned to leave. "Be careful out there, kid."

RONNIE'S POV:

After I dropped Annie at Jessie's I found myself in front of Jitters. I was about ninety percent sure that no good could come from my visit, but the other ten wasn't so sure. As soon as I heard about the not so good results of Annie's cancer Caitlin was the first person I wanted to tell. If she only wanted to be my friend I could handle that, I just couldn't handle her lying about her feelings and pretending that there wasn't something between us when there so obviously was. Seeing her the other day only affirmed what I knew; I was in love with her.

Looking at her now through the glass door I didn't understand how it was possible for my heart to hurt and love at the same time. This was my chance to turn around, to protect myself a little longer, but my hand push the door open before I could stop myself.

Her brown hair bounced as she grinned at one of the customers, but it didn't reach her eyes. When she spotted me it fell for her face, her body frozen in place. I took that as a good sign, a tiny grin on my lips. My feet started to take me to her when a girl came up to kiss her cheek. That wouldn't have stopped me, but this wasn't just any girl. I recognized the blonde hair and bitch smirk. Amy was next to her, touching her. Her ex-girlfriend.

My forehead creased. Were they back together? Was this what she wanted to tell me the other day? She had sorted her feelings out and they didn't involve me.

With a definite nod I turned tail out of there. I couldn't watch them together, not after we'd been together. Not to sound like a total guy, but I missed that feeling. Not just because I wanted to have sex with her, because I did, but that was the closest I'd ever been to anyone. It took no effort at all to conjure up the memory of our heated bodies, my mouth on hers, and her legs wrapped around my waist. Maybe it could've meant more if we hadn't been drinking, but that just meant those feelings had been suppressed, right? Now, I didn't know what she was feeling.

"Ronnie, what's wrong?" Annie asked as I headed for my room.

"Nothing. Do your homework." I slammed my door shut.

I paced back and forth in frustration. Why did I go there? How stupid could I be to actually think she would want me? I was nothing. Not good for her. She obviously saw that. She saw that I was still a kid, too messed up for her liking. Too messed up for my parents. My fist punched into the nearest wall, making a hole.

Someone knocked on my door.

"Go away."

"Are you at least okay?" Annie asked.

No, I wasn't okay. I was in pieces.

"I'm okay, Banana. Just go watch tv or something."

After a few moments she went down the hall.

Time dragged on, leaving me with my thoughts.

My phone rang. Iris' face popped up. I let it go to voicemail. A few minutes later it rang again.

With a groan I answered, "Yeah?"

"Nice to hear from you, too." Iris greeted.

I sat on the edge of my desk. "I'm not in the best mood right now, I don't really feel like talking."

She huffed. "I know. It's weird, I just had a strong urge to call you, see how you're doing." She paused for a few seconds. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." I told her automatically. "I'm actually behind on homework, so I have to go."

I could feel her disappointment over the phone. "Oh," Her voice saddened. "Well, I'll leave you to it then."

I nodded. "Okay." I was prepared to hang up on her.

"Ronnie," She desperately called.

"Yeah?"

"Don't hesitate to call if you need to. I'm still your friend all the way over here." She gave a forced laugh. She knew I wasn't okay. "I mean it."

I hadn't realized how much I missed her, how much I missed everyone all together since I stopped seeing Caitlin. She was sort of a package deal with everyone. Besides, I was more of Iris and Caitlin's friend than anyone else.

"Yeah, I know. Love you,"

She awed over the phone. "Love you, too." She hung up a moment later.

The dropped the phone on my desk with a sigh. I missed how things were. All of us together. Iris and Barry. Linda and Cisco. Me and Cait. Now everyone was separated. I wondered if we'd ever be like that again, if we'd ever come together despite our relationship attempts not working out.

My eyes slid to the pile of rejection letters on my desk, I just didn't have the grades I used to. Really, what had I expected? That if I got my act together the last year of high school that I'd go to college? Initially, I had applied to see if I could get in, which I knew was a long shot. But then I thought what if I did get in and maybe Cait wouldn't see me as a social reject, maybe someone she wanted to be with. Neither of those things happened. I guess it was community college for me if I could even graduate high school. School work was piling up, I hadn't lied to Iris about that.

Knowing I couldn't study in my room, I grabbed my phone and work and headed up on the roof. I liked to come here quite a bit. It helped me to think, to take a breath, to relax. So I watched the sky turn black as I did as much work as I could before my brain wouldn't comprehend anymore.

So I stood with my hands in my pockets, my eyes focused on the night sky. How did I get here? How did I fall for a lesbian?

My head shook.

This was just the icing on top of the cake called my life.

"Can we talk?"

I whirled around at the voice to find Caitlin standing in the door. With a huff, I turned around. "We don't have anything to talk about."

The gravel under her feet crunched. "So what? You're just going to ignore me forever? I miss you."

Anger surfaced. "You didn't seem so alone to me."

"That's not fair."

I just wanted her gone, I couldn't look at her if I couldn't have her by my side.

"Leave, please."

"Ronnie-"

"Leave, Cait!" I yelled.

My temperature steadily rose; she didn't need to be here for this.

There was a shove at my back. "No, I'm not going to leave! You pushed me away!" Shove. "You were supposed to be my friend. You knew how I felt about you and didn't care not one bit!" Shove. "How could you do this to me? I thought we were going to be there for each other, you asshole!" Shove. "Why?"

Against my better judgement I turned around. " _You_ rejected _me_ , Cait!" I hadn't realized she had been crying.

Her eyes avoided mine as I stared at her. "I thought you knew how I felt about you, that I had to sort things out."

My hands clenched by my side. "You've sorted them out. We've both moved on." I gave a sour chuckle. "So why are you still here?"

Her hand smacked me across the face, a hard look in her eyes. "How dare you."

I stepped back to put a lot of distance between us. I learned to control my abilities for the most part, but I hadn't felt this unstable in a while. She needed to go before I hurt her.

"So you're just going to walk away from this, from us?" She asked. "Just going to give up?"

Although it pained me to say it, I did. "There is no us, you made that clear."

The fire brimmed in me and I knew it wouldn't take much for it to rush out. I edged towards the banister. My hands heated up.

"You want me to give up? Just leave you alone forever?"

I nodded. She could be happier without me in her life. Safer.

"Leave."

After a moment she muttered, "I can't." She neared me. I could feel her behind me, but there was coldness where there should've been heat. "Maybe I should, but I can't." Her hand rested in between my shoulder blades. "You came to Jitters today. Why?"

My eyes stung, I didn't want to cry in front her. I didn't want to tell her about Annie and how I needed her today. I just wanted her to leave.

"Does it matter? We're done."

"Dammit, Ronnie. I'm trying to-" She yanked me around.

"I saw you with her!" I yelled. "So if you have her then why are you doing this? Why are you here?"

Tiny wicks of flames ejected from my hands so I kept them behind me.

Her hand slipped away. Gravel crunched under her feet as she left.

After a few moments my temperature lowered as I calmed down. I leaned on the railing as I breathed in and out. This was for the best. She could be happy and safe. The sooner she let go of her guilt about me the sooner she could move on with her life.

My phone rung as an SUV parked down below.

I didn't recognize the number. "Hello?" I answered.

"You've been ducking us, but you still owe Tribianni the money kid." A familiar Jersey accent said in the phone. "As an incentive, we've got ourselves a new house guest. I'm sure she's going to love it."

Muffled screams sounded in the background. The car door opened on the street. Two guys shoved Caitlin in the car.

Panic filled me. "What are you guys doing? I said I'd have your money! Let her go!" I pleaded.

Bennie looked up at me with a smirk as he hung up the phone. The car raced down the street.

"No!"

I ran for the door, my heart in my throat.

BARRY'S POV:

I ran to Starling City to see Oliver, but now that I was here I couldn't bring myself to talk to him. Maybe I'd just walk around for a bit. Someone walking across the street got my attention. Walking was too calm, stalking was more like it. I recognized her coat and hair. Her attention was directed to one of the many people strolling around town. Or maybe she was deep in thought and I was being paranoid about the lies Captain Cold told me.

I crossed the street. "Iris," I waved.

She ignored me and kept walking. It was a little noisy from the many conversations and passing cars, it was possible she hadn't heard me.

"Iris," I walked beside her with no luck. "Hey," I put my hand in front of her face with no reaction. Worry set in. "Iris, what's wrong?"

She kept walking like she had a mission. Did she even know I was here?

I planted myself in front of her, my hands on her shoulders. "Flower!" I realized to passerbyers this scene would look weird, me yelling flower at a girl, but this was none of their business.

Her brown eyes found mine, her forehead knitted together in confusion. "Barry?" She looked around herself. "What are you doing here?"

My shoulders shrugged. "I don't know. I called to you like five times, you didn't respond." My hands slid down to hers. "What's going on with you?"

"I don't remember leaving work." She ran her hand through that gorgeous mass of curly hair as she gave a forced laugh. "Must've been lost in thought."

I still felt a bit worried, but decided I was a bit paranoid from Snart's story.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Wanted some pizza."

Her brow lifted. "You ran all the way the Starling City for pizza?"

A grin played on my lips. "My place in Coast City was closed."

She laughed. "Now I kind of want double chocolate brownies. You in, Allen?"

"I can't, I'm on a pizza diet."

Her eyes rolled. "You can probably just do crunches really fast and get more abs, it's not fair."

My shoulder nudged hers. "You look great. You always look great."

She tried not to smile and I grinned.

"How are you and that Daryl guy?"

She looked a little uncomfortable. "He's my boss."

"Really?"

She gave me a look. "I told you that I wasn't with him. He was just messing with you."

That didn't make me feel any better.

"It sure looked like a date when Thea and I saw you that day."

She smirked. "It was an interview, Bear."

"So, is this new job it for you? Are you going to college?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. This is going well for me so far. I like it here." She grinned up at me. "I mean, I wish I didn't leave Central City on the way I did, but I'm happy here. I'm finally doing something with my life and it feels good. I feel good." She hooked her arm through mine. "Thank you. I know you didn't want to push me away, but the truth was that I wanted to leave. Everything we've been through forced me to grow up, so thank you."

"I aim to please, Flower."

We walked in comfortable silence for a while until we reach a store. We found the baking isle, trying to decide which brownie mix to get.

She looked at me with a mischievous gleam in her brown eyes. "How about double chocolate and peanut butter brownies?"

My eyes widened as I mulled it over. "You're a goddess, woman."

She laughed heartedly until she looked down the aisle.

There was an elderly woman trying to reach a can of icing on the top shelf that she was not tall enough to reach. With a grin I went over and asked her, "Which flavor are you trying to get, ma'am?"

She smiled the sweetest smile. "The chocolate. Always did like to swirl myself." She winked, then glanced back at Iris.

I chuckled as I grabbed the can. "There you go."

"Thank you, young man." She started down the aisle, as she passed Iris she said something that made her blush and giggle.

I walked over to her as I watched the lady walk away. "I guess she thought we were a couple."

Iris nodded. "Yup." She started walking.

"What did she say to you?"

She bit her lip. "Something someone her age shouldn't have said. She was very dirty." She tried not to laugh.

As we waited in line at the register I saw the Redbox sitting by the door. "Hey, go get some movies." I gave her my card.

"Netflix and Brownies?" Her brow rose.

I nodded. "Netflix and Brownies."

She shook her head with a grin as she walked to the Redbox.

As I paid for the brownie ingredients I thought back to all the times we've had our brownies and the in between. We've been through some tough times and I think we were finally at a good place in our friendship.

"Have a nice night." The cashier said.

"Thanks, you too."

I walked over to Iris. "You ready?"

She smirked. "I was born ready, Allen."


	37. Hands of Time

The song for this chapter is Rachel Diggs – Hand of Time

CAITLIN'S POV:

"What's going on?" I demanded as two large buff black guys grabbed me up while I walked down the hall. "Why are you doing this?" I struggled against their grip as panic filled me. A shorter bald guy with a smirk pulled his phone to his ear. "You've been ducking us, but you still owe Tribianni the money, kid." He threatened with and New Jersey accent. He met my eyes with excitement. "As an incentive, we've got ourselves a new house guest."

I tried to scream, but they stuffed a rag in my mouth and stuck me with what I thought was a needle to the neck before they took me outside. Things got hazy.

"I'm sure she's going to love it."

The guys threw me into the car and before I knew it I was out like a light.

Some time later I woke with a headache and dry mouth with my wrists tied to a warm radiator. My vision blurred as I blinked. Where was I? My memories came back up until the guys took me.

"Oh, there you are." A man crouched down in front of me while my vision cleared. He wore a cocky grin and I couldn't figure out why because he was short, bald, and ugly. "You had me worried there for a little, sweetheart."

My eyes rolled, reminding me of my headache. "Where am I? You have the wrong person, I don't have your money."

"Your boy Ronnie does."

I stilled.

Ronnie. This was because of him? I was here because of Ronnie?

"You took me to scare him because he owes you money?" A sour chuckle left me. "You really must not want your money back."

His face darkened as he leaned forward. "We'll get the money. Tonight. He begged me not to take you, but some people don't listen until you're screaming at them." He played with a piece of my hair. "I can see why Ronnie's smitten."

My eyes rolled. "You made a mistake taking me."

He rose with a chuckle. "I doubt it." He turned his back to me and went to talk with the others in the corner, leaving me laying against the heated radiator.

IRIS' POV:

Laughter filled the room as Barry and I ate our new and improved double chocolate peanut butter brownies on the floor in my room, my laptop played Chris D'Elia's special on Netflix. He was beyond hilarious, this was a good choice for tonight, we needed some laughter in our lives.

"You'll never hear a dude say, 'fucked her medium.'" Chris said. "You know what I mean, gave her that medium dick." The crowd cackled.

I smacked Barry's chest in a fit of laughter. He cracked a grin, but it didn't hide how uncomfortable he looked. I tried not to focus on it because I didn't want it to get awkward.

Then Chris said some stuff about female and male friendships and how they work. And I could feel the laughter fade from me.

"Here's the deal. If a guy's hanging out with you he wants to sleep with you." Chris said.

"Right now there's a girl out there saying, 'Well, but my one friend.' Him too."

Barry coughed and reached for a brownie the same time I did. His touch electrocuted me. He pulled his hand back as he stared at me with wide eyes. "Sorry,"

I rubbed my hand as my eyes fell to his mouth. "It's okay." I made myself look away.

Neither of us said anything for a few moments.

When Barry's phone rung we both jumped. Thea's name lit up the screen.

Ever since Barry told me the truth I had to reevaluate how I saw Thea. She wasn't some bitch that stole Barry from me and liked to rub it in, she was just a bitch. Barry hadn't tried to sway me on her, but I knew she was important to him. They had a real friendship. That in itself made me jealous. We'd never have what they had.

"Hey," He answered. "What's going on?"

I inspected my nails, trying to stow my jealously.

He leaned forward. "Thea, calm down. Tell me what happened?" His eyes serious.

Was she okay?

His jaw clenched as he nodded. "Okay, I'm on my way." He stood. When he looked down at me I could see that he knew how this looked, but I wasn't that selfish.

I stood. "Is Thea okay?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Her and Oliver got into a fight. She's really upset." He huffed. "I'm sorry to do this, but she's my friend."

I nodded as I waved it off. "No worries."

He gave me a sympathetic look before heading for the door.

"Wait," I called. I grabbed my coat. "I'm coming with you."

His brow lifted. "Really?"

My shoulders shrugged. "Sure."

A grin appeared on his face.

LINDA'S POV:

My hand rubbed my forehead as I stared at the screen. Toby and Spencer hadn't shown up in weeks and now they had officially withdrawn their membership. Iris seemed tight with them, I could ask her what was up with those two. They'd been regulars for about a year and some change and all of a sudden they just stopped coming. I asked my parents if they had seen them, but no luck.

The computer screen before me read off the members we had lost the last few months, business was decreasing, but nothing too terrible. Or so my parents said. Maybe if we did more promotion we'd get more business. I bet if The Flash said he worked out at our gym business would fly through the roof. I could ask that of Barry, right?

I took my gaze from the computer to the few letters of colleges I applied to, I couldn't bring myself to open them yet. Mostly, because I didn't know where I wanted to go and I didn't think we could afford these schools, if I even got into any of them.

"What's got you so pouty, Park?" A familiar voice asked.

I looked up to see Wally standing in front of the service desk. How long had he been there?

The sight of him sent my heart racing, which I hated. Damn those eyes.

I wanted to say, "You," but instead I said, "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged as he leaned on the desk, his eyes roamed around the gym. "Wanted to see the gym that got my cousin in bad bitch mode."

I cracked a grin.

Being that Wally was family and well, living with Barry, there wasn't much choice in the matter of telling him that Barry was The Flash and Iris had left to become a vigilante. Joe didn't want Wally to know, but Barry pushed Joe on it. No more secrets. Honestly, it felt nice that I didn't have to lie to Wally about it.

"Courtesy of my shove forward." My hand shoved my hair back onto my head. "What are you really doing here? You want a membership? I gotta say I don't think you really need one."

His brow arched in amusement. "Really?"

My face burned. "That's not what I meant." I gave a forced laugh as he stared at me intently. "Most people that join are either angry or weak, you are neither of those things. Hence, no need to join."

He bit his bottom lip, much like his cousin, as he leaned forward. "What time do you get off?"

What?

My eyes went to my watch. "In…ten minutes. Why?"

The door opened and in walked Toby. Without thinking it through, I rushed to him.

"I've been worried sick about you." I hugged him.

He pulled me close for a few moments then let me go. "I missed you, too." He grinned. "So has Spencer."

My hands propped on my hips. "Where have you been?"

He looked around us then pulled me to the side, away from Wally. "I only came back because I'm looking for Iris."

"Iris, what does she have to do with anything?"

He huffed. "More than you know. I can't get a hold of her, did her number change?"

I nodded.

He handed me his phone to put in the new number. "Thanks."

"Sure, but what's going on with you? Where's Spencer?"

"I can't talk about it right now," He kept looking up. "You don't need to be involved in this."

My defenses went up. "But Iris can?" I angrily whispered.

He shrugged. "Iris and Spencer have some history, that's all you need to know." He pulled me in for another hug to kiss the top of my head. He was about to head out the door before I grabbed him.

"No you don't, if you're going where I think you are, then you're taking me with you." I demanded.

He shook his head. "No way."

"Toby," I slapped his arm. "She's one of my best friend's."

He let out a huff as he held the door open. "Alright, come on."

On the way to Toby's car I felt a presence behind me. I turned to see Wally following us.

"What are you doing?"

"This is me going with you, Park." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm not letting you go off with some guy that I don't know," He leaned close to whisper. "Who honestly seems kind of shifty."

I leaned toward him, my eyes on his. "Toby's safe, you don't have to play big brother."

A small smirk found his lips. "You and I both know I'm not playing big brother, Park."

My eyes rolled as I stepped back. "Either way, he's a decent guy." I opened the truck door and hopped in.

Without another word, he slid in next to me as he shut the door with a look of finality.

Toby reached across me to shake Wally's hand. "Toby Cavanaugh."

"Wally West."

Toby's forehead creased. "You related to Iris West?"

Wally nodded. "Cousin."

Toby started the car. "We just need to make a pit stop first, then we can head to Starling City." He pulled out of the parking lot.

IRIS' POV:

Walking into Thea's apartment was strange. She was my age and she had a bomb ass loft to herself, totally unfair. Then again, she had her GED, owned a night club, and had the money for her own apartment. Her life was goals. Even her friendship with Barry, she managed to be friends with him without falling in love. At least, that's how Barry tells it. Maybe I should ask her for some sage advice.

I was too engrossed in taking in everything to even find her.

Barry went to the couch that faced away from the kitchen area. "Hey, Speedy." He brought her in for a bear hug.

Despite the truth being out there about their fake relationship, I still felt uncomfortable going to sit on her couch, let alone comforting her. Even so, I moved towards the two of them, choosing to sit on the floor in front of the couch, a polite smile in place.

She covered her face when she saw me and cried into Barry's chest. Barry just rubbed her back in comforting circles.

Thea to me was a strong individual, she didn't care what other people thought, she spoke her mind, did what she wanted. So seeing her all heartbroken over a fight with her big brother made me tear up a bit. I didn't think she wanted me to touch her so I kept my hands to myself and let Barry do his Barry thing.

"Speedy, you want to tell us what's going on?" He asked after a few minutes.

She wiped her long grey sleeve at her running mascara and tear soaked face. She let out a heavy breath as she rose and came back with wine glasses and a bottle of wine. "My brother's a dick."

Despite the situation, I laughed.

Barry shot me a look while Thea nodded.

"Sorry," I added.

She waved it off, her arms across her chest as she leaned against Barry.

If I hadn't known better, I would've definitely thought they were a couple. Yet, there wasn't even a spark of jealously at seeing them this way. Was I growing up?

"I took your advice and told him that you'd been helping me, he didn't take it well."

My brow knitted together. "Helping you what?"

Barry pulled away from her, a worried look on his face. "That's not what I told you to do, Speedy. Geez, he's going to kill me."

"What are you two talking about?"

Thea looked at me then gave Barry a look. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "You're lucky I love you."

Irritation rose. "What the fuck are you two talking about?"

Thea tried to cover her laugh, but failed. She poured a glass of wine and handed it to me.

Confused, I took it. Worry set in. Were they about to tell me some crazy shit I didn't want to know about the two of them?

Barry cleared his throat a few times before he finally said, "I'm helping Thea train. She wants to be a vigilante." His eyes willed me to understand, but I still felt the stinging betrayal.

Now I knew why Thea gave me the wine.

A huge part of me was mad as hell at him, because how hypocritical was that?! The smaller part of me supported Thea and could understand how this situation would be extra hard for her. Hell, Barry was my friend and he didn't want me involved, but Oliver was her big brother.

Despite all of that, I chugged the wine back and held my glass out for more. I shouldn't be mad at Barry, but I was. I got that Thea needed someone to help her get started, but how was I supposed to feel that he supported her doing this and not me? They slept together for Christ's sake! I really wished he would've told me sooner.

"How long?" I stared in mid-air, not able to look at him.

"Iris, I'm so-"

My head shook. "You made such a big deal about me doing this," I met his eyes. "And you help Thea do the one thing that drove us apart?" I tried to keep the anger and hurt out of my voice as much as possible because this wasn't exactly about me, but I had a right to feel this way after everything we'd gone through because he wouldn't support me being a vigilante.

He looked at a loss for words.

Thea scooted forward. "Iris, please don't be mad at Barry. I begged him to help me repeatedly. He didn't want to, he still doesn't want to, but we're friends." She gave a little laugh. "So he didn't really have a say in the matter."

I wasn't mad at Thea at all, I wanted that to be clear.

"The problem is that we've been friends longer." I looked to Barry. "Were you even going to tell me?"

He sighed, he sat down next to me. "Iris," His hand grabbed mine. "I didn't want to do this because I knew it would hurt you, but this was important to her."

I pulled my hand away. "And it wasn't important to me?" I kept my voice calm.

His hand went to rub his temple. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it wasn't my secret to tell."

I mulled over his reasoning's and while I was still upset I pushed it aside. I looked to Thea. "What did Oliver say exactly?"

"Something along the lines of 'No way in Hell is my baby sister fighting crime'." She took a sip of her wine. "Then I said 'you're not dad'. He said 'dad's gone and he wouldn't approve of you doing this'. Then I said and I deeply regret it, 'You're a vigilante, not a hero. Barry's a hero. Get off your high horse'. It was bad."

Barry shook his head. "You couldn't have left me out of it?"

She shrugged. "It's not like he can catch you to beat you up."

He rolled his eyes, but she had a point.

I sat my glass on the glass coffee table behind me. "So, that's out in the open. What's your next step?"

"I don't know." She looked a little nervous. "I was kind of hoping you could help me. I would've asked you instead of Barry, but we're not exactly friends. I knew if I went to Laurel she'd tell Oliver."

"You want me to teach you? I'm still learning."

Barry shook his head. "No, you're not. You're ready for this."

Once the initial shock wore off my head nodded on its own. "No."

Thea looked confused. "You nodded, but said no."

I didn't know what to say. I was in no way ready to teach someone else how to fight. Laurel, yes. Me, no. In fact, Toby and Spencer were who got me off my feet. Maybe that was it, get her to join a MMA gym.

Thankfully, my phone rang. Looking between the two of them, I answered, "Hello?"

"Iris, hey." A deep voice said.

"Who is this?"

Barry leaned forward, a worried look in his eyes. Geez, it wasn't like it was that unusual to get to an unknown caller.

"Toby, sorry. I'm with Linda and Wally, we're on the way to Starling City. I need to see you. It's important."

I rose to my feet. "What's wrong? Is Spencer okay?" I hadn't heard from them in months and after I got a new phone I didn't reach out again. Honestly, it seemed like Spencer didn't want to have me a part of her life after our last meeting.

"I just really need to talk to you. In private." His voice hectic.

I nodded. "Okay, where?" I grabbed my coat.

"I'll text you the address. Come alone." He stressed.

"Toby," I grabbed him before he hung up. "Are you okay?"

There was a moment of silence before he answered, "Not really, no. I'll see you in a few." He hung up.

Something must be wrong with Spencer. Even though she wigged out on me, I still prayed that she was doing okay from time to time.

I turned to Thea. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Can we pick this up later?"

She nodded. "Sure."

Barry walked over to me, his eyes serious. "What's wrong? Where are you going?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing, just to meet a friend."

His eyes narrowed. "You sounded pretty worried on the phone."

My head shook. "No, everything's fine." I stepped out into the hall, but he grabbed my arm.

"Iris, what are you not telling me?"

I shook his grip off. "Geez, dad. I'm just going to meet a friend like I said."

He gave me a look. "Be careful."

"Later." I started down the hall.

"Iris," He called.

With a huff, I turned around. "What?"

"Be careful," He repeated.

I nodded. "Always."

A half an hour later, I found myself standing under the bridge, waiting for everyone to get here. I rocked back and forth, freezing my tits off. I kept checking my phone until I decided to call Toby, but it went to voicemail. "Toby, call me back. Is everything okay?" I hung up.

I walked further ahead, being careful in this almost deserted, poor part of town, The Glades. Maybe his phone died and he was waiting on me further up the street. After a bit, I heard foot steps behind me. I quickly turned around, but no one was there. I hurried down the path only to find smoke coming from a familiar truck. My heart dropped in my chest once I saw Toby knocked out in the passenger seat, with Linda and Wally beside him. Someone had rammed into the side of them, denting the door next to Wally.

I ran for the truck, knowing I had to get them out of there.

"Guys, wake up!"

With difficulty, I tried to get the smashed door open, but couldn't budge it. I shook Wally, but he wouldn't open his eyes. As a last resort, I frantically grabbed Wally by the shoulders and pulled him through the window. He peeled open an eye as we fell to the ground, his weight too much to hold up at this height. His head was bleeding, but I didn't know what else was wrong with him.

"Toby, wake up!" I cried.

I moved to grab Linda. She startled awake and freely reached for me to help her out the window, fear in her eyes.

"Guys, there's someone watching us." Wally groaned.

Once I had Linda on her feet, I looked around us, but couldn't find anyone.

"Help!" I called. "Call the ambulance!" I begged as I ran for the other side of the truck to get Toby.

"Iris," Linda coughed. "Someone's just standing there, watching us."

I looked from the direction the truck had come and noticed someone dressed in a black hoodie and pants, I couldn't see a face, but they clearly wanted to be seen.

"Are you going to call someone?" I yelled at them.

They just stood there creepily, like this was entertainment to them. A flash from when Toby and Spencer first trained me came to mind. When we had our little fight club in the back behind the Park Gym, Spencer recoiled when she saw someone in a black hoodie. It turned out to be the announcer, but when she thought it was someone else she was scared. Then there was the time I helped her in that alley, her attacker wore a black hoodie. Plenty of people wore black hoodie's, but this wasn't a coincidence.

The person raised something in their hands and before I knew what happened, the truck exploded before me. The explosion sent me flying into the air as the flames licked my skin on the way to the ground.

A/N: For those of you who don't watch Pretty Little Liars, Toby and Spencer are both characters from the show. I'm using some story archs from that show. If you haven't seen this show and you want to know more about what Spencer and Toby are going through then here's a clip of the person in the hoodie's work. watch?v=JiJPxBS6P7g Please let me know what you think. Do yall like the sides stories/povs?


	38. The Night We Met

The song for this chapter is Lord Huron - The Night We Met

Sorry for the long hiatus yall, I have a lot going on. Can we talk about WALLY FUCKING WEST APPEARING IN 2X09/THE MIDSEASON FINALE?! I actually cried!

BARRY'S POV:

"Earth to Barry." Thea waved her hand in front of my face.

My eyes settled on her. "Sorry."

She gave me an understanding look. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to spill the beans like that. I'll talk to Iris for you."

I shook my head. "I appreciate that, but this is my own fault. I should've told her about my training you sooner. I get it, I would be mad at me, too."

My phone rang. "Yeah?"

"Barry, you have to help us!" Linda cried.

I stood to my feet as worry set in. "Linda, what's wrong?"

"It's Iris, she's burning." She sobbed. "Wally's hurt. Toby's dead. Please, get here." She begged. "I don't know what to do. Please…"

Thea rose, concern in her eyes.

"Where are you?"

"Wertland Street, down in the Glades."

What the hell were they doing all the way out there in the crime beacon of Starling City? Was Iris fighting crime? If so, why didn't she just tell me that?

"Is Iris okay? Put her on the phone."

She cried into the phone. "I can't, she's gone. I rolled her into a puddle, but the burn damage was bad. The explosion hit her… I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do."

What Linda said didn't even register because I knew Iris could heal herself, I just didn't know to what parameters. A bullet to the head, no. A stab to the gut, yes. Where did burning fall on that scale? I couldn't even for one second let myself think she couldn't heal from this. I couldn't lose her again.

"Don't call the ambulance, I'm on the way." I hung up as I ran for the Glades.

Finding them wasn't hard, the smoke was thick in the air along with the smell of burnt flesh. My stomach rolled at the sight of Iris laying on the pavement. The heat from the burning car hit my back.

"Barry," Linda's small voice called from behind me. She was hunched over Wally, blood on her forehead. "He's unconscious. I had to pop his hip back into place." Her hand covered her mouth as she looked at Iris. "We shouldn't have come."

It was hard for me to look at Iris, she wasn't unrecognizable, but there was enough of her burnt to a crisp that I didn't think even her healing ability could repair it. Still, I had to hope.

"Barry, what do we do?"

I turned to her. "The fire department might be on their way. I'll call Cisco and get him to track their movement. We have to move the body."

Her eyes widened. "No, don't call him. He can't find out like this that Iris is dead. He's already mad at her for leaving."

I went to her, my hands on her shoulders. "What I'm about to tell you isn't going to make sense, but Iris might be okay."

"What are you talking about? She's burned beyond recognition."

I nodded. "I know,"

Even after seeing it I still felt weird about saying it. What if it was something that my mind made up to make me feel more at ease with her being a vigilante.

"But there's something she didn't tell you and it's going to sound crazy, but she can heal herself."

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes as she shook off my hands. "Barry, she's dead. You're in denial. I'm sorry, but we have to do something. We have to get Wally to a hospital and call the police, whoever did this has to be found. The coroner will take Iris and Toby." She tried to pull Wally to his feet.

My head shook. "Look, I know this sounds silly, but I'm not making this up. She showed me."

With a huff, she said, "When?"

"In another time-" I cut myself off. "Just the other day. I wouldn't lie about this, okay."

She stared me down with glossy eyes. "Fine, say I believe you. We can't just wait around for Iris to magically heal herself. Wally's hurt. Toby's truck is still in flames. What do we do?"

I reached for my phone and dialed one of two people I needed to talk to.

IRIS' POV:

I gasped awake. My head pounded as I fell back onto a hard surface. A cough wracked my body, I rolled onto my side. There was a sensation of falling until arms caught me. A stomach turning smell filled my nostrils, but I couldn't identify it.

"I gotcha."

My eyes found a hazel green pair. My stomach lurched and the remainder of its contents were by our feet as he held my hair back. I groaned as I leaned into Barry's chest with nausea overtaking me.

"What happened to me?"

He sighed. "We should get you some food or a shower. You want a shower?" He helped me stand.

The room spun and my legs gave out.

"Woah, easy." He cautioned.

I looked around the area, nothing was familiar.

"Where am I?"

He pulled me towards the bathroom. "At a friend's, now can you please get in the shower?" He pointed to a pair of fresh clothes.

My eyes went to the mirror as I let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"It's okay." Barry promised.

Horror filled me, my hands went to my face then smoothed down my burnt clothes with shaky hands. "What happened?!"

That familiar pained look returned to his face. "You…uh," He took a deep breath as he met my eyes. "You died, Iris."

My hand muffled my cries. "Oh my God."

Barry held me to him. "I'm sorry. You were already dead by the time I got there. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go back and change time again, not when I didn't know what would've happened, not until I could see how long it took for you to come back, if you'd come back at all."

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember anything leading up to the events. Was that because I died?

"How did I die?"

"Maybe you should clean up first, then we can talk."

My head shook. "How did I die, Barry?"

He sighed. "There was an accident. You were close to it."

Still no recollection of that. Things were hazy.

He sat me down on the toilet, his green eyes sad. "Linda and Wally came to see you with your friend Toby. His truck was the one that exploded."

My heart pounded in my chest. "Are they okay? What happened to them?"

"Linda and Wally were a little banged up. You helped pull them out just in time." His hand grasped mine, his thumb ran circles over my hand.

Blood pumped in my ears. I felt lightheaded. "And Toby?"

"I'm sorry." He shook his head. "There wasn't enough time to save him. He was killed quickly. There wasn't anything you could've done."

"He's dead?" My chin trembled, tears pricked my eyes. "No, he can't be." I rose. "Spencer…" I fell into the sink, my breathing labored.

I let myself cry it all out for a few moments before I turned to Barry. "Did they hit anyone else?"

He wiped my tears away with his hand. "No. Linda said there was someone there, dressed in black. She said they blew up the truck, but by the time she came around they were gone."

Bits and pieces flitted back to my memory; Toby calling me to meet them, seeing the truck smoking, the person in the hoodie. My hands clenched the sink behind me so hard my fingers hurt.

"What is it?" Barry questioned.

If what little I knew about Spencer's issues were true, then this person seemed to be terrorizing her and probably Toby. I had to help her, but I needed to know what I was up against before I involved anyone else.

"Spencer. Did Linda call her?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, she's at the hospital with Wally. Joe's on his way with Cisco. I had to tell him. I couldn't reach Caitlin or Ronnie, no one can, but I'm sure they're alright."

I was going to see my dad? Was I ready for that? It had been months since I last saw him. We've talked over the phone a lot, but seeing him was different. He could tell that I still hadn't found my way. I really didn't want to disappoint him, I only had one parent after all.

"I could use that shower." I muttered.

He nodded. "I'll be in the living room." He shut the door behind him.

With a sigh, I let my gaze slid up to the mirror. It was hard to look at myself, even with my skin healing at the rate it was. I died. Barry said I died before and he went back in time. This time I came back and I couldn't help but wonder what if he didn't go back in time and things between us were better. That wasn't important right now, but it kept popping into my head. What if he had changed time when I died this time? What would have changed?

I questioned why my life had suddenly become so hard and realized that I chose this life. Sure, I could've gone to college and joined a sorority or gone traveling or who knows. But I didn't and I didn't regret that. I'm here because of me, because of Linda, because of Toby, and now those people were hurt because of me. Toby was dead because of me. If he hadn't gone looking for me maybe this wouldn't have happened. All I knew was that I couldn't sit around and do nothing. I had to help, it was my nature now.

My shower was much needed; the stench I had was going strong. If I were Barry, I would've thrown me in the shower.

The hot water washed over me, washing the dead flesh away. I had to compartmentalize everything. Toby was dead. This person in black was responsible. I had to talk to Spencer. My dad was coming to see me. I needed to see Caitlin, just talk to her even. Maybe she could calm me down. At least Cisco was on his way. I could use a good laugh right about now, but I wasn't sure I'd get one from him. I knew he was still a little upset that I left. He wouldn't take my calls, but he'd respond to a few of the many texts I sent.

My hands ran the soap through my hair, it was either body soap or axe body wash. Whose house were we in? I really didn't know all the people Barry had met while he was staying here with Oliver and Felicity. I supposed this was one of those people.

After the shower, I felt like a new person. When I wiped the mirror I looked like a new person. I was completely healed, looking like my old self. The clothes that Barry left for me were too big so I assumed his friend was a dude and now I looked like a stud. My brow rose. No, I could never be a stud…but could I like girls? I shrugged.

I found Barry talking to Oliver, Laurel, Felicity, and a stranger who I assumed this house belonged to.

Felicity ran to me. "I'm so glad you're alive." She squeezed me tight.

I gave a half grin. "Me, too."

"You gave us a scare." Oliver added with a half grin as he came to hug me.

I felt a pair of grey eyes on me. Laurel looked at me warily before averting her gaze.

What was that about?

I slid next to Barry as he introduced me to his friend. "Iris, this is Roy Harper. Roy, Iris West."

Boy was he handsome. Sharp features, built like the gods. Why was everyone around me so attractive? It made it hard to focus at times.

He extended his hand. "Never seen anyone come back from the dead before."

I shook his hand. "Well, I like to make impressive first impressions."

He cracked a grin. "Just as funny as Barry said."

I glanced at Barry. He thought I was funny? A smile formed.

"Actually, he called you snarky and sassy. Stubborn. Sexy."

Laurel cleared her throat. "Can we get to the problem at hand, Roy?" An irritation in her voice that I hadn't heard before. She stepped forward, her blonde hair up in a topknot, making her look delicate. I knew she was anything but.

"Why didn't you tell any of us about your ability?" She demanded.

"I told Barry." My eyes rolled. "Well, he already knew."

She looked to him. "How?"

He cleared his throat before looking at me. "Well, that's kind of personal."

A blush covered my entire skin, I was sure I was aflame again and I'd have to relive this whole stupid scene.

"How is that personal?" Felicity asked. "Did you hurt yourself in front of him or something?"

My hand scratched my wrist. "Well, yes and no." I wasn't sure how much of this I could tell without breaking some science rules of the universe. So I looked to Barry.

He let out a nervous laugh. "You see," He pointed between us. "Iris and I had a conversation. She told me, but she didn't remember."

Laurel rolled her eyes. "Why would any of us believe that?"

"Look, it's not a big deal. To satisfy everyone's curiosity, Barry had to change some things around and I couldn't remember that I told him."

"That's not all you couldn't remember." He muttered under his breath.

I gave him a look.

"Barry changed things, what does that mean?" Roy asked.

I punched his arm. "Yeah, Barry. What does that mean?"

He rubbed his arm. "Ow." He looked around at each of them before saying, "Long story short, Iris died a few months ago and I went back in time and changed things so it wouldn't happen." He let out a relieved sigh.

"What kind of things?" Oliver asked. Felicity nodded in question.

Barry and I looked at each other, then glanced away. "Nothing too big."

My hand flashed out and punched his arm again.

"Ow." He shot me a look.

"Sorry." I didn't mean to do that.

Everything seemed to click for Laurel before the others. "So you guys were together there, is that what you're saying?" She stared at Barry, still not meeting my eyes.

"We've talked about it. We're okay. Now, the more important issue at hand, what happened to Toby's body? Did you guys call the police?"

"No, we had to leave. There was no way we could've stayed. His body wasn't there, I'm sorry." Oliver said.

Felicity nodded. "Wally and Linda are the hospital. Linda's with them."

"Someone tried to kill you guys." Laurel muttered.

My hand pushed my hair back so it wasn't in my face. "Someone did kill one of us, they killed Toby." I headed for the door. "Someone has to pay."

Barry pulled me to him. "What are you going to do?" Distrust clearly in his green eyes.

Before I could wipe the hurt from my eyes he saw it. "I'm going to see my friends." I pulled away, still reeling from how Barry had been looking at me ever since I woke up, almost like he was afraid of me.

RONNIE'S POV:

My pulse pounded in my ears as I yanked the floor boards up with too much force, my mind ran a mile a minute. I grabbed the cash, but I knew it wasn't enough. I figured that Tribianni would want the money in full, all I needed was a little more time. My after school job didn't pay much flipping burgers. Never did I think they'd take Caitlin, especially because we haven't been hanging out lately.

"Ronnie, what's going on?" Annie asked from my doorway.

I shoved the money in duffel bag and pushed past her. "I can't talk now, Banana. I gotta go."

She followed. "Where's Cait? She stopped by here a few minutes ago."

"Stay here. Don't open the door for anyone."

She tugged on my arm. "Ronnie!"

I turned to her, a thin layer of sweat on my skin. "Cait's in danger. I have to go make sure she's okay. I'll be back in a few. Love you." I kissed her forehead then ran out the door.

ANNIE'S POV:

I started to go after him, but thought better of it. He was clearly worried, scared for Cait. I didn't know what was going on. I rushed to my room and grabbed my coat, my phone at my ear.

Jessie answered on the first ring. "Hey, I was about to call you."

"I need you to meet me." I grabbed the pocketknife Rich kept in his bedside table. "Get your bike and meet me at the CVS on 5th Avenue in ten minutes." I ran down the few flights of steps.

"Uh, okay." He said after a few moments. "Are you going to tell me what this is about?"

"When I see you I will." I hung up.

On my bike, I got to the CVS quickly. Jessie waited, worry creased on his forehead. He had his hair shoved behind his ears. He looked a little relieved when he saw me.

"What's going on, Annie?"

I huffed. "I don't know." I stopped my bike. "Ronnie ran out of the apartment like a crazy person. I think something bad happened to Cait."

His eyes widened. "Did he say what's wrong?"

My head shook. "No," Tears pricked my eyes. "I think he may be in some kind of trouble or something. I heard him and Rich whispering about it in the hall late one night. He borrowed money from some guys." I wiped at my face. "I'm pretty sure he did it to pay for my hospital bills and treatments."

His hand landed on mine. "This isn't your fault, Annie." His brown eyes understanding.

"Isn't it?" I looked away from his gaze. "I got sick and our parents didn't want me. Ronnie dropped out of school for a year to help me. He took money from bad people to help _me_ , Jessie. How is this not my fault?"

He trailed his hand up to my shoulder and squeezed in comfort. "Because you didn't ask for any of this, it happened to you. Ronnie chose to drop out of school to help you get better. If he did borrow money from loan sharks that was his decision, too. And we don't even know if that's what's really wrong right now. You know how him and Cait can get."

My head shook as stupid tears stung my eyes again. "No, he told me that she was in danger before he left." I pulled out my phone and showed him the app. "I'm tracking his phone. I have to go help." I prepared to pull off.

He grabbed my shoulder with a lot of force. "And do what? Be in the way?" He demanded, clearly upset with me.

"I have to try, he's my brother." My eyes pleaded with his. "I don't have a lot of people that I can call my family and both Ronnie and Cait are my family. If they're in this mess because of me then I have to do something."

His brown eyes watched me with guarded eyes, his jaw clenched. "And what about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm your family now, too. And I'm asking you not to go chasing after them. You're only going to be in danger."

I huffed. "You can't ask me to do that."

He leaned forward. "Well, I'm asking. Please, let me call the cops." He pulled out his phone.

I grabbed it from him. "And let them arrest him? If they did something to Cait he's going to get back at them." I shook my head. "Every second I'm talking to you there's a chance that Ronnie and Cait are dead." I gave him back his phone, my eyes slid up to his. "I'm not asking you to go, I just wanted you to know that if anything happened to me that I'm really glad we became friends." I breathed out a breathless sigh as I leaned closer to him. "And I'm really thankful for you sticking up for me with the kids at school." A blush fell on my cheeks.

His sad eyes scanned my face carefully.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached up to plant a kiss on his mouth, long enough that it meant what I wanted it to mean. When I pulled away he stared at me with shocked eyes. I kind of figured that would be his response.

I gave a tiny grin. "Hopefully, I'll see you around." I got on my bike and rode down the street.

Not before long he ended up beside me on his bike. "I'm not letting you go alone."

CAITLIN'S POV:

A clap of thunder jolted me to attention.

The bald guy grinned at me. "Scared of a little snow storm?"

It was freezing outside. If it rained there would surely be a downpour of snow.

I huffed. "Why don't you just kill me and get it over with. If Ronnie had your money, wouldn't he have given it to you by now?"

He pursed his thin lips. "You might be onto something, but I got a feeling he'll get the money tonight. We get the money, bang him up a little, and go about our night. No harm no foul." He shrugged.

I leaned forward. "You kidnapped me!"

There was a noise from outside that drew our attention.

Baldy turned to the black guy. "Go check it out. Might be-" He was cut off by the sight of Ronnie standing in the doorway.

He held his hands in the air.

The sight of him knocked the breath out of me. Why did he show up here? He could've just called the cops.

"There's my boy." Baldy grinned.

The black guy grabbed him and shoved him in the middle of the room, then patted him down for any weapons. "He's clean."

Ronnie's blue eyes flitted to mine, they begged me for forgiveness as he handed the duffel over. "This is most of it, short a few hundred bucks. I can give the rest to you after my next pay check, I promise." His jaw clenched.

Baldy took the bag from him and handed it to the other guy. He turned back to Ronnie with a swift hook.

"Ronnie!" I tried to go to him, but the stupid handcuff prevented me from making any progress.

They were beating the crap out of him. One guy produced a knife and stabbed him in the side. He screamed in pain.

"Stop it, you're killing him!" I struggled to get free from the handcuff, the radiator heating me up as panic filled me.

Baldy looked back at me, his eyes angry. "Shut the hell up or you'll be next."

Fear ebbed in me as the thought crossed my mind that they were going to kill us either way. They were gangsters. Ronnie got involved with gangsters. What an idiot! Now we'd be paying for his mistake with our lives. God, I was going to die loving an idiot.

His face was bloody and bruised. "It's going to be okay, Cait." He groaned.

Baldy pulled a gun from the back of his pants.

My heart stopped and my eyes widened. My body felt like it was on fire.

"Sometimes you gotta teach a lesson the hard way, kid."

"Get away from him!" I warned. Ronnie met my eyes.

Baldy turned to me with a raised brow. "Or what? You gonna beat me up?" He seemed amused before he raised his gun at Ronnie.

"No!" I screeched.

My hand shot out as the lights went out. Sirens sounded in the distance, but there was something off about it.

"Go check it out!" Baldy demanded.

The police were here. We would be okay. Ronnie wouldn't die. Not tonight.

The white guy pushed two people inside after a few moments. "Look what I've found." He bragged. "They played a siren app on their phones."

My eyes adjusted to the dark, recognizing the two kids.

"I assume they belong to you?" Baldy asked Ronnie.

He sat up to see his sister and Jessie being man handled by the gangster. "What are you doing here?" He demanded. "I told you to stay home!"

"You're here because of me." She cried. "Both of you."

What was she talking about?

"No, I'm here because of me." He turned to Baldy. "Please, let them go. All of them." The lights flickered back on.

I yanked on the handcuff, I didn't care how much it cut into my wrist, I had to get free.

"Perfect how everyone that knows where you are is here. Now I can just kill all of you." He pointed the gun at me.

I froze in place.

"You leave her out of this!" Ronnie aimed his fire at Baldy.

He screamed in agony as he flailed about.

The black guy dragged Ronnie back by his neck. Gun shots came out of nowhere. I looked to my right to see that there had been a few guys high in the balcony all along, ready for a fight.

"Get down!" I warned the kids.

Annie ran for her brother, but Jessie dragged her to the side, kicking and screaming.

I prayed no bullets hit me or anyone I cared about. Now I really had to get my arm free. I put my feet against the radiator and pulled as hard as I could, in pure pain.

The gun men ascended upon us, bullets flew.

"Please, let us go!" Annie yelled. She pushed Jessie aside and ran for Ronnie who was being strangled.

One of the men aimed his gun at her, she let out a scream. Before I could understand she was about to die Jessie had her in his arms across the room in a flash. The three guys looked around in confusion until they spotted them.

"What the hell?" One of the guys said.

Ronnie managed to fend off the black guy with an uppercut, powered by the fear of his sister's life. When he charged the three guys it was his ass. This was bad. We were all going to die. Tonight.

"Get away from my brother!" Annie yelled, she swiped her arms out and the four baddies were instantly shoved against the wall, unable to move. She had a horrified look on her face.

I stared at her in bewilderment before I noticed the spot of ice a few feet from me. All I could was stare at it in question, in fear.

After a few moments, Ronnie kneeled before me, his hand on my face while the other heated up the handcuff. The hot metal against my skin didn't even burn.

"Cait, I'm sorry."

I met his blue eyes, speechless.

He yanked my arm free then dragged me along as fast as we could move. Jessie and Annie by the door.

"I already called the police on our way over here." Jessie notified us as they got on their bikes.

Ronnie sat me down on his motorcycle and got on behind me. "We have to get out of town for a few days." He told us all. "Annie, we're going to talk about this later." Brotherly contempt in his voice. "You should've listened to me."

"We saved your asses!" She challenged.

He reeved the engine and lead the way. "We'll talk about that, too."

BARRY'S POV:

With everything that happened today, everyone's emotions hung in the air. I couldn't close my eyes and pretend like everything was okay for a few hours no matter how hard I tried. Besides, there had been a nagging bead of panic in me for half the night, something I couldn't shake. Something about Iris.

Now I stood in front of her door. I knocked on it lightly. After a few moments there was no answer, so I cracked the door open just to check on her, but her bed was empty. I closed the door.

I made my way down to the kitchen for a sandwich. A lot happened today to her and her friends. She finally saw Joe after four months, saw Cisco. Funnily enough, Cisco had more issues with her than her dad. He was just angry with her for leaving, which I could understand. I called her phone but got the voicemail after a few rings. A few months ago I wouldn't have hesitated to call her until she answered, to race to find her and protect her because she needed protecting. Not anymore. Now I held confidence that she was perfectly capable of protecting herself without my help. I didn't think she was in any kind of trouble out there anyway. She probably just went for a walk to clear her head.

With my sandwich, I plopped down on the couch in the living room and waited for her to get back. My eyes became heavy after a while and I drifted off to sleep.

I rolled over to lay on my back and ended up on my ass with a thud. My eyes shot open. Where was I? I quickly recognized Oliver's hideaway house. Everything was so bright, I covered my eyes.

The voices from the kitchen drew my attention.

"Morning." I scratched the back of my head as I dragged myself to Oliver and Felicity.

They intensely watched the news on the TV sitting on the counter.

The reporter talked, but all I could focus on was the news line at the bottom of the screen: Another body mutilated in Starling City.

Unease filled me as my mind immediately went to Snart's story, and in turn went to Iris. Of course I didn't want to believe she was being controlled by anyone and there was no proof of my worry, but I was still absolutely worried about her. A lot of shady stuff had been happening with her lately, a lot of which was not her fault.

A scream ripped through the house from upstairs. I ran for her room to find her thrashing about in her bed. My heart raced as I grabbed hold of her shoulders.

"Iris!" I shook her.

She screamed again, her eyes shut tightly.

"Iris, wake up!"

Felicity and Oliver ran up the stairs.

She kicked and punched and refused to wake up.

"Flower!"

Her eyes flew open as she gasped awake.

"You're okay." I immediately reassured her. "You had a bad dream.

She panted as she hunched over, her hands covered her face.

Felicity sat beside her, she grabbed her hand in support.

I looked to Oliver, lost of what to do.

"I'm fine." Iris said, her personal mantra as of late. She met my eyes. "Really, thanks for waking me up."

Oliver nodded outside.

I followed him back to the kitchen. "I don't know what to do. Our friendship is hanging on by a thread thanks to my helping Thea – sorry- and all of this crazy shit keeps happening. I don't want to smother her, Oliver, but I don't want to lose her."

He stood with his arms folded across his shoulder, a thoughtful look on his face. "You love her, we all get that, Barry. It can be difficult to accept when someone doesn't need you as much as they used to, especially when you love them." He nodded, as if from experience. "But Iris is a strong woman, she can fight her own battles, quite literally." He paused for a moment. "You have to step back from your feelings for her, because her life isn't about you. It's about her and she needs the room to grow and figure things out on her own. You can only be there as much as she lets you."

I nodded, taking that all in. "And Thea?" I challenged him.

He stared into the distance for a few moments before gave a small grin. "That's a little different, Barry."

I patted him on the back. "No, it's not."


	39. In My Veins

The song for this chapter is Andrew Belle - In My Veins

IRIS' POV:

I kept walking around the hospital, unable to stay in one place for long. My mind was a jumble of thoughts. There was so much about this that I didn't understand. What was obvious was that this was methodical, the person in black meant to blow up the truck. If they wanted to cause pain, then why wait until I had gotten both Wally and Linda out of the car to blow it up? If the purpose was to hurt Spencer, then why not just aim for all of us? Even after two hours I still couldn't come up with an explanation.

Everyone seemed to understand to give me some room. I hadn't meant to alienate myself, but I couldn't help but feel responsible. This all happened because they came to see me. If Toby hadn't come to Starling City he might still be alive.

I paused in the hall, my heart faltered.

Was I the target? Had I done something to be a target? More importantly, what had Toby wanted to tell me? He sounded pretty urgent on the phone.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. A message from an unknown number read: Be careful, Iris. Fire isn't the only thing I like to play with – A.

My forehead creased. What the hell? I typed back: who is this.

I scoped the crowd, but there were many people on their phones.

I typed: If you killed Toby I will find you and I will kill you, bitch!

"Iris,"

I turned to see my dad walking briskly towards me. "Dad," I grinned as I closed the distance between us. My arms wrapped around his back, not sure if he'd fully healed from his injury.

"Are you okay?" He rested his mouth on top of my head.

I nodded, tears fogged up my eyes. "I'm fine." I blinked away the wetness. "Wally and Linda are going to be okay."

He tried to pull away, but I held on. He rubbed my back and it felt so nice to be in my dad's arms for the first time in months. "I'm sorry to hear about your friend."

I looked up at him, my arms still around him. "He was really nice, dad. He helped me out at the Park's gym. I know you don't like my being involved, but he was integral to shaping who I became."

He nodded. "That's a conversation for another time." He kissed my forehead.

I pulled away, a little defeated that my dad still disapproved of my progress, what little I made.

"Do you want to go to the room?"

"I actually stopped by to see Wally first, I thought you'd be in there. He's sleeping." He gestured around us. "Where can we get some food around here? I'm buying."

A grin fell on my face. "No way. Didn't you hear? I'm a working girl now."

He laughed. "Yeah, thanks for telling me about it by the way."

I shrugged. "Sorry. I just didn't know if it was going to stick and I didn't want to get your hopes up if I didn't like it." I grinned. "But I do. I'm certainly finding it entertaining trying to keep my facts in check of what I know as part of team Arrow," I whispered. "Versus what I know as a reporter. It keeps me on my toes."

"Oh, now you know how it feels writing police reports when I work a case with team Flash." He whispered.

We chuckled together.

We ate breakfast in the cafeteria, catching up on things. He was considering taking more time off from the police force, he'd gotten used to doing what he wanted all day. Apparently, he'd taken up pottery as a form of physical therapy. Picturing my dad doing pottery was hysterical. When I asked him about Eddie's new partner he said they got along well. Too well. I was glad Eddie might have found someone else to have feelings for, but upset that I didn't know about this until now. I needed to keep in contact with him. A wave of sadness washed over me as I realized how out of touch I'd become with my home and my family, but so much was constantly keeping me occupied here.

I moved to put our trash away, but he told me to hold up. I sat back down.

"You're my daughter, I know when you feel guilty or sad or happy. Listen to me, Iris." He gestured around us. "This isn't your fault." He stared into my eyes the only way dads could. "Your friend didn't die because of you, okay. I don't want you walking around with that on your shoulders. You've got enough to deal with."

I nodded. His words sunk in, but it was hard not to feel responsible for your friend's murder when you could've been the only reason they were killed.

We made our way back to the room. My dad went in while I stayed outside with Barry.

"We spend way too much time in hospitals. Nothing good ever happens at a hospital." I sank down in the chair beside him.

He shrugged. "Not entirely true. Babies are born here. I think that's pretty special." He stared at me, his green eyes deep in thought as if he were remembering something.

A thought popped into my head, most definitely ludicrous. "Barry," I leaned closer so only he'd hear. "In the other timeline, when we were together, were we safe?"

His face became flushed as he looked away. "No."

My brow rose. That didn't sound very responsible of us.

"Hypothetically, how long would it have taken me to get pregnant if we were still there?"

He shook his head. "We don't have to talk about it, Iris. It doesn't matter anymore." He wouldn't meet my eyes, obviously flustered.

I inhaled a breath. "Did we think that I was…" I suddenly couldn't say the word.

After a few moments his eyes met mine reluctantly. He shrugged. "There was no way to know for sure."

Embarrassed, my hand covered my face. "Oh, no." I groaned. "I'm sorry I put you through that."

His hand pulled mine away from my face, his fingers laced with mine. "We were so not ready to be parents." He gave the tiniest of grins. "But if you had been…We would've taken care of it."

My heart melted in my chest.

"Do you think that about that?"

He sighed. "More than I should."

A shockwave of electricity ran up my arm, but he didn't pull away.

He grinned at me. "I kept thinking that Joe would kill me."

I nodded with a laugh.

My head told me not to ask, but I couldn't help it. Even talking about this was bad.

Our eyes met. "Have you ever thought about…" I couldn't ask this, it was too much.

"Don." He finished. His eyes searched mine. "I don't know why, but Don kept coming to mind."

A little piece of my heart broke for him, for the life that Barry and I could've had, but were robbed of. Knowing it was all my fault made me sad.

He shook his head. "It's not your fault, Iris. Like I said, we didn't know for sure. You probably weren't."

"But what if I was?" The thought haunted me.

I didn't think I could feel any guiltier until the sight of Spencer walking towards us like a zombie. A few girls were behind her, worry in their eyes.

I rose to my feet. "Spencer." I froze, there were no words that were good enough right now. My chin wobbled as I tried to compose myself, shame filled me.

Her hand covered her mouth, silent sobs took over her body as she knelt to the floor. Her friends scrambled to get her. She was making a scene, but I doubt anyone could care because she so obviously just experienced the loss of a love. I never wanted to experience that with Barry or with any of my friends.

Barry laid a hand on shoulder. I turned to him, my face in his chest. He held me tight while I cried into him. "You can do this." He whispered into my hair. "Be strong for Spencer." He pulled away, his strong hands wiped under my eyes.

I nodded.

He was right. This wasn't about me. This was about Spencer.

On shaky legs I made my way to her. Her friends untangled from her. She turned to me, her eyes red and wet. She clutched onto me.

"I'm sorry."

She cried harder.

My heart broke ten times over for her.

I wasn't sure how long we were like that, but it still wasn't enough time for Spencer to grieve properly. She didn't deserve this, she was a good person. Toby was a good person. So why did that freak have to kill him? I felt so powerless not being able to do anything about it to get rid of her pain. Of my pain.

When I pulled away from her with a small grin I told her I'd be back. "I just have to check on my cousin." I turned to Barry. "Will you stay with them?"

He nodded and went to introduce himself.

I walked to the room with my family, but stood in the hall. They were catching up, laughing.

Cisco glanced up, he froze when he saw me.

I gave a wave and a small grin.

He just stared at me, his eyes unforgiving before he turned back to Wally.

With that rejection, I made my way to the stairs. It didn't take much force to get the locked door open that led to the roof. The sky was still dark, the air held a little chill with a slight drizzle. The gravel crunched under my feet. My guilt drove me forward. This was right.

I took another step closer to the edge, but stayed where I was. I could do this for Spencer. For Toby.

A voice cut through me. "What are you doing?"

I snapped around to see Cisco with scared eyes. "Why are you here?"

He walked towards me. "I asked you what are you doing?" He yanked me back.

I shoved him back. "Now you care? After months of my trying to make things right between us now you care?"

"You left, Iris!" He threw in my face. "You left. You were ready to leave, but I wasn't ready for you to leave. Maybe I still needed you in my life."

My head shook. "You choose now to tell me?" That didn't work. I wouldn't remember it. Neither would he.

"Iris, I'm sorry. Now tell me what you're doing up here."

I took a step backward. "I'm doing what I can to help."

"What are you talking about?"

"Spencer!" My eyes stung. "I need to help Spencer. And Toby." I turned towards the edge, ready to do this.

"What the hell are you talking about? Get away from there." He pulled me back.

I yanked myself free. "They don't have to hurt anymore." My eyes pleaded with his. "If I do this then Barry will go back to save me, to save all of us." I stayed by the edge.

He shook his head, his gaze focused. "This dream keeps playing in my head." He looked at me with strange eyes as he touched my forehead. "You can't do this to him again."

What was he talking about?

"In my dream, you died, Iris. It wasn't pretty." His eyes pleaded with mine. "Don't make Barry hold your dead body again." He grabbed my arm. "It's not fair of you to use him like this. You won't remember, but he will, and it'll haunt him." He shook his head. "Please, I'm begging you. If our friendship means anything at all to you, don't do this."

I looked between him and the edge, torn.

I nodded. "Fine."

I started toward the door when my shoe slipped on the slippery rocks. I let out a scream as I held onto the ledge of the roof. My heart hammered in my chest. No, I didn't want to die. Not after that. I couldn't do this to Barry again. He wouldn't be able to get over it. Cisco was right, it wasn't fair to him.

Cisco grabbed my hands, but was slipping himself. His eyes widened as he neared the edge himself.

Suddenly, Laurel appeared. Her hands grabbed his waist. "Don't you let her go." She demanded of him.

Once he wasn't any longer in danger of falling off the roof she grabbed under my arms and pulled me the rest of the way up. We fell back on the gravel with a thud, the breath knocked out of me as I laid on top of her. Her hand rested on the my back.

"Thanks."

"What happened?"

"I…" I didn't want to admit that I was ready to kill myself to save Toby.

People rushed through the door. Well, Barry and Oliver. They surveyed the scene with worried eyes.

"What just happened?" Oliver asked.

All eyes were on me, Barry's burned a hold through me as I stood.

"Uh, I…"

"She slipped on the wet rocks." Cisco intervened.

I nodded. "Yeah, I was too close to the edge." I let out a relieved huff. "Thank God Cisco was here to pull me back." I gave him a grateful look, one that I hoped truly conveyed how appreciative I was.

He nodded, then headed inside.

Barry looked at me with hard eyes too long for my liking. "Would you guys mind giving us a minute." He dismissed.

They left. Now it was just me and Barry.

He stepped towards me. I stepped towards him.

"Why?"

My eyes fell to the gravel. "You already know why."

He let out a huff. "Iris, you can't keep doing this. Putting your life in danger to save your friends. It's not noble, it's risky."

My head snapped up to glare at him. "I'm not trying to be noble, I'm trying to do the right thing."

"And how is killing yourself going to accomplish that? We don't know that you'll wake up the next time. What happens if I can't go back in time and save you?" He fumed. "Huh?"

I shook my head. "I just wanted to fix things. Cisco talked me out of it and it was an accident. I didn't think that it would hurt you."

He took a step back, he shoved his hands in his pockets. "That's the problem, you only think about yourself. What can I do to not feel so guilty? It's selfish."

I stared at him with hard eyes. "How could you say that? I'm busting my ass out here trying to help people, people that I don't even know, people that might not even deserve saving. I'm not selfish!"

"Well, you're not as grown up as you think you are, Iris! Doing things like this puts you right back at square one. What was I supposed to tell Joe if you jumped? How was I supposed to feel when I had to scoop up your dead body?"

My hands ran down my face as I shook my head. "I'm sorry, okay?" I met his eyes. "I went about it the wrong way, I admit that. But what if that was me?"

He shook his head. "You already know what I'd do."

"No, not me." I stepped forward. "What if Joe died and you couldn't bear to see me hysterical? Would you go back and change it?"

He blinked a few times, his face scrunched up. "That's not the same thing. You were trying to kill yourself. You wanted to trick me."

"I wasn't trying to trick you." I protested.

His brow rose. "Really? Then why didn't you just ask me to go back and change it?"

I didn't have an answer for that.

This was getting really shitty really fast.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I thought this was the only way to help."

His eyes narrowed. "Did you want to forget about the pregnancy?"

"What?" My eyes widened. "That's ridiculous. That's not why…I fucked up. Again. I made a shitty mistake and I'm sorry that I didn't think it through or take in account your feelings." My hands hugged around me. "I just hate feeling this way, Bear. I'm completely helpless. Someone killed my friend. They tried to kill me. This wasn't any accident." I didn't care that I wasn't supposed to tell him, I had to. "Someone's been messing with Spencer and Toby and they finally won. My friend just lost her boyfriend. He died coming to see me. This whole thing isn't right. So I'm sorry for trying to right a wrong and to give my friend more time with her boyfriend. I was counting on you to change it, to save us all." I shook my head. "I shouldn't have assumed anything. It won't happen again."

He stared at me for a moment then he pulled me into a hug. "I'm just glad that you're okay."

ANNIE'S POV:

When we were sure the police had made it to the abandoned factory we put as much distance between us and them as possible on bikes. We chucked our phones, the idea courtesy of Jessie. The closest motel was five miles away and it was creepy at best.

"We'll leave you two alone for a bit. We'll be outside." I told them as I shoved Jessie out the door of our motel room.

Now it was just the two of us. Alone. Sitting on the steps. Awkwardly.

"What just happened?" I asked him. "How are we able to do that? Did you know you could do that?"

His eyes slid to mine. "I thought it was a fluke or that I dreamt it. Obviously not." His arm draped over my shoulder. "Do you think those guys are still stuck to the wall?" He let out a small laugh.

My eyes rolled. "I hope not. So what are we? You're like The Flash. So what does that make me?"

"It makes you Annie." He stared at me with conflicted eyes.

I decided to make this easy for him. He didn't have to choose between us staying friends or hurting my feelings. Maybe this was for the best. I was way too young to get involved with anyone anyway. Besides, Jessie's my only friend. Besides Cait.

"About earlier," He started.

I pulled away to face him. "There's something I need to tell you. It's pretty big." My heart thumped heavily in my chest.

He nodded for me to continue.

My hand grabbed his, I noticed the small smile on his lips. "I know we've only been friends for a few short months, but you've come to mean a lot to me."

His smiled widened.

"Which is why this is hard for me to tell you." I exhaled. "A few cancer cells popped up at my check up today."

His smile vanished, he pulled his hand away from mine. His long hair fell into his face as he looked forward.

"I'm sorry."

Silence sat between us.

"Okay, I know I should've told you sooner-"

"We're moving." He muttered. "In a few days, we're moving across the country."

I felt like all the air left me, all I could do was stare ahead of me.

So we sat there in silence, both of us having to get used to the news that would forever change our lives.

CAITLIN'S POV:

Annie and Jessie left to give us some room to talk. I didn't much blame them what with Ronnie's pleasant attitude the whole way here. He was pissed at Annie for putting not only hers but Jessie's life in danger. But he was also scared. We all were.

He stood by the door. "Look, I know I've been an ass to you, but I never wanted this to happen." He turned those heavy blue eyes on me.

I sat on one of the two beds. "I know."

He walked over to me. "Can you forgive me?"

"Only if you stop being a dick." With a huff, I said, "I'm sorry."

His forehead crinkled. "For what?"

"For dragging you along." My head hung.

He scooted down on the space between the two beds. "I need to know," His eyes sought mine. "Are you with Sam again?"

I sat on the floor in front of him. I took his hands in mine. "We are back together." I lied.

He tried to pull his hands away, but I wouldn't let him.

"Listen to me," I pleaded. "Just because I'm with Sam doesn't mean I don't love you, too."

He gave a wry smirk. "That makes it worse."

My hand went to his face, I caressed his stubble. "This wasn't because of you. If I were straight, I'd be a fool not to be with you, but I can't ignore how I still feel about her, about girls." Which wasn't entirely a lie, I still very much found girls attractive, but so far Ronnie had been the only man I'd even look at twice. Besides, Sam was back in my life, just as a friend. I needed the closure.

His hand went to my face, his eyes focused on my mouth. "You can be both, Cait. You don't have to pick one or the other."

I nodded, leaning into his touch. "I know, but it's not just about that. You're one of my best friends. I can't just jeopardize having you in my life, even if I wanted to date you."

Lies.

He nodded. "Just so we're clear, you don't want to date me? You want me to stop waiting for you?"

"Yes." Lie. "You deserve to be happy. I want that for you." Truth. My hand left his face, placed now on his knee. "Now the question is; do you want to be friends with me still?"

He stayed quiet for a moment, a long moment that made my heart throb.

"Cait, I don't know."

I visibly sagged. "Ronnie-"

"Wait," He grabbed my hands. "I would do anything for you. I'm not trying to be a dick, but nothing's changed for me. I don't want to see you with Sam every day."

A tear fell from eye, I wiped it away with a nod. I tried to hold it together, but everything slipped out.

"Hey, please don't cry."

Ugly crying was the only accurate description I saw fit for what he was seeing. But I couldn't stop it.

"Cait, please."

I punched at him as I covered my face with my hands, clearly embarrassed.

He pulled me to his lap, his strong arms wrapped around me. "I'm not trying to give you an ultimatum or hurt you."

"But you are." I sobbed.

He sighed, his hand rubbed my hair back. "This isn't punishment, baby." His heat warmed me up rather quickly.

"Then why am I losing you?"

He pulled my face up to look at him, he never looked more handsome. Of course I said that about him every time I saw him. "This isn't goodbye, Cait. I just need a little time to get over you. If you give me that, I'll come back to you."

That started a fresh batch of tears because I didn't want him to be over me because I wasn't over him. It's completely not fair to him and so selfish of me, but I just wanted him to myself. Seeing him with another girl…that would be different, if not painful. Maybe this would be good for us. Maybe it would help me get over him, too.

"Well, how long is that going to take?" I looked up at him with blurry eyes.

He shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I didn't chose this, Cait. It just happened."

I wasn't sure why, but that made me love him more.

"So this isn't goodbye. But be forewarned, I may exhibit some slutty behavior, which I won't be proud of."

I gave him a look. "Don't bring any sluts in Jitters." I threatened.

He laughed. "What if they like coffee?"

"Too bad for them."

He grinned, his eyes on my lips. "Can I…" He breathed out a shaky breath. "Can I give you a goodbye kiss?" His eyes slid back up to mine in question.

No. No. No. That would be without a doubt so bad for me. But nevertheless, I nodded. Why did I do these things to myself?

He looked a little shocked before he placed his hand on my neck.

Oh, boy. This was going to be a deep one I could already tell.

He stared at me for a bit, making my nerves triple. Finally, he leaned down. His mouth overtook mine with possessive tugs and passionate groans. I fell further into him. My arms wrapped around his neck, letting him explore my mouth. His hands tightened on my waist as I pulled him toward me. My back hit the floor with him on top of me. My legs wrapped around his waist, wanting him to give me pleasure, wanting him to take it. He ground his hips against mine, our lips never leaving each other's.

There wasn't one second of hesitation when I unbuttoned his jeans. He slid into me and I knew that this was a mistake from that moment on. He knew it, too. But we didn't stop. I couldn't because I needed him. For a long time now I needed him. His lips moved to my neck.

He consumed me. I consumed him. It was dangerous. Especially because Annie and Jessie could walk in at any second.

Our eyes locked. I reached up to place my hand on his face. He placed his forehead on mine.

"I love you, Cait." He whispered.

With that, I lost all control. So did he.

As we caught our breath the weight of what we just did filled our minds. He shuffled off of me, pulling his pants back up.

I stood awkwardly. "Uh…"

"Cait, I-"

The door opened, Annie and Jessie entered the room with sad eyes.

I flitted to the bathroom for a shower without a word.

When I came out everyone was in bed with the lights off. Jessie was sleeping with Ronnie, which meant I was sleeping with Annie. A tiny grin came to my face. Of course Ronnie wouldn't want Jessie sleeping in the same bed with Annie.

I slid into bed, careful not to wake Annie from her slumber. I laid on my side, facing Ronnie. I couldn't look away from his sleeping form.

What had I done to him? He didn't deserve this treatment. He was a good guy. Smart. Kind hearted. Protective. Funny. I saw everything he wanted me to see and I knew he thought he wasn't good enough. He was so much more.

His eyes opened a fraction and met mine. He didn't look away immediately, but eventually he turned over on his other side, his back to me. I couldn't blame him for being angry. I would be angry at me. I played mind games with him, not on purpose. Every time I tell him something I end up doing something different, but I couldn't help it. He got under my skin, into my mind, and inside me. Which was why he scared me. I didn't think I could ever feel like this about anybody. No one, not even Sam, made me feel so much pleasure. It wasn't just a sex thing, but it was very good when Ronnie and I did have it, but I was sure it was mental and emotional because I had never been so close to someone and felt so far away from them.

IRIS' POV:

I swiveled in my chair at my desk when my phone rang. "Hello?" I answered the unknown number.

"Iris, it's me."

I perked up. "Caitlin," I grinned. "Where have you been? We've been trying to get into contact with you and Ronnie all weekend. Are yall okay?"

"Sorry about that. We went out of town for the weekend. We needed to straighten a few things out."

My brow rose. "And did you?" My voice suggestive.

"I'm trusting you not to judge me, Iris."

I whirled around my chair with a grin on my face. "Would I do that? Vent away."

"I can't talk about it, it's just going to make me angry. So talk about yourself, tell me anything juicy."

I tapped my pen on my desk as I crossed my legs. "Well, one of my friends was murdered." I whispered. "I'm kind of in the process of finding out why. Barry and I had another fight, what else is new? Wally's just getting out of the hospital. I can't really talk about it all right now, I'm at work."

"That's awful, I'm sorry I couldn't be there. We had to get new phones. This is my new number. But I'll come see you this week when I'm off. By the way, if Ronnie asks I'm back with Sam. So how's your love life?"

My eyes widened. "Woah, wait a minute. Back up a second. You're back with Sam?"

"See, that's the thing. I'm not. I just told Ronnie I was so he'd move on."

I groaned. "Caitlin, I swear I'm going to slap you when I see you. You're an idiot. Why would you do that?"

She groaned. "I know! I don't know what I'm doing over here. He's a great guy, I know that, but we're not meant to be together. We work as friends. That's it."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't know that for sure. You could be great together. It's not like you both don't love each other." I looked around before saying, "You said the sex was great. So what's the problem?"

"I'm scared."

I could one hundred percent understand that. The only difference between her relationship with Ronnie and mine with Barry was that Barry and I knew that we had to work on our friendship, that we would be together if we could, but we weren't ready. Caitlin and Ronnie were ready without a doubt. She just needed to get over the fear of her life changing because she liked men in addition to women now.

"Ask yourself in five years do you see yourself getting married?"

"Well, yeah. Now that gay marriage is legal."

My head shook. "Do you see yourself married to Ronnie or Sam?"

She huffed. "I don't love Sam anymore."

"I know; you get what I mean. Now who do you see yourself with?" I demanded.

"Oh boy, I'm in trouble."

I grinned. My work here is done.

"Enough about me. What's your situation?"

My lips pursed. "I'm lonely." I laughed. "Maybe a little bi-curious." Okay, maybe a lot.

"Oh my God, do tell!" She perked up.

"Who?" A voice came from behind me.

I jumped in my seat when I saw Thea behind me. She heard me say I was bi-curious. Dammit. I didn't want Laurel to know.

"Um, Caitlin I have to call you back."

"Wait, don't you dare-"

I hung up. My face turned red as I faced Thea. "Hey, girl."

She folded her arms across her chest, her head tilted to the side with a mischievous grin. "Who's the girl?" She looked around the room trying to figure out which work hottie got me curious.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said evenly.

She pointed a finger at me. "I'll find out." She propped her hand on her hip. "Nice office."

I think she was being nice. "Thanks." I surveyed her. "What are you doing here?"

She scooted closer to me, her butt on my desk. "I need you to train me. Laurel already said she wouldn't. She's in a grumpy mood lately."

My eyes widened as I looked around us. I dragged her to a semi remote corner. "You thought the best place was to ask me here? At my newspaper job where we're all expected to report any shifty behavior?" I angrily whispered.

She waved it off. "No one knows what we're talking about. Lighten up. Now is that a yes?" She grinned hopefully.

"No. I can't right now. My plate's really full."

"With what? Maybe I can help."

How could I voluntarily get Thea involved in this life when I knew firsthand that it was dangerous.

"Don't you do that." She pointed at me. "Everyone told you no. Everyone tried to dissuade you. You didn't take no for an answer. You inspired me, Iris."

That was the nicest thing she ever said to me.

"Please, help me."

My eyes rolled. "Fine, but only because I know how it feels. I don't want you to be a part of this, Thea. You have so much going for you."

"Like what? A club? Money?"

I shrugged. "Yeah. You can do anything you want. You have to money to."

"The only time I've ever felt like I wasn't sleepwalking through life was when I helped you guys. Now I want to really be a part of that."

"Okay." I nodded. "Just promise me that you won't flirt with Barry in front of me."

She laughed a hearty laugh. "Trust me, no need to worry on that front."

"Everything okay?"

Thea and I turned to see Daryl looking at us with concerned eyes.

I gave a reassuring smile. "Yeah, we were just talking."

Daryl extended his hand towards Thea. "Daryl Evans." He offered a grin.

Thea grinned cheekily at him. "We've met." She looked between us. "You two were on a date." She shook his hand.

"It wasn't a date. It was an interview."

"Well, in that case I'm Thea Queen."

My eyes couldn't roll hard enough as I walked away from them with a shake of my head.

After Thea left Daryl came to my desk. "Your friend is nice."

"She's seventeen, too."

His lightheartedness disappeared. "Somebody wants me to go to jail."

I chuckled. "She's turning eighteen in two weeks."

"Nice to know." He leaned against my desk. "Hey, have you heard about the new vigilante in town?"

My face scrunched up. "No." I met his eyes. "I haven't had a chance to watch the news this weekend. I was pretty busy." Which wasn't a lie, but I knew he was talking about me. Well, my vigilante counterpart.

"Tell me about her? Is she a solo artist?"

He shook his head. "There have been reports of her seen with the Arrow and Black Canary, and The Flash." He leaned in closer. "Do you think you could contact your red masked friend for some info? Just a little dirt that'll give us an edge?"

"Uh…" I tapped my mouth absentmindedly. "I haven't really reached out to him in long time. I don't know if he'd be willing to even meet with me."

He looked a little disappointed.

"But I could try."

"Really? Thanks, Iris."

I grinned. "No problem."

When I got to the gym later on Laurel was already practicing with a bo staff, the long wooden stick dipped and dodged through the air. A few sweaty tendrils fell from her bun. All she wore was a black sports bra and leggings.

"Hey," I announced.

She didn't stop to acknowledge me.

I dropped my bag and walked over to her. "You okay?"

She continued without a glance my way.

"Laurel!"

She snapped around to face me, panting. "What?" Anger in her voice.

"What happened?" I stopped a few feet in front of her.

With a shake of her head she walked past me. What the hell?

I grabbed her arm. "What is wrong with you?"

Her leg flashed out and kicked my stomach. I stumbled back, shocked. Frustration written all over her face.

"You wanted to train. Sometimes you have to deal with a few surprises." She came at me.

Where the hell did this come from?

She jab-crossed me, but I dodged them. Her leg kicked my side. I quickly grabbed her foot, only she managed to flip us over onto the floor. Anger burned in me. I didn't do anything to deserve whatever she was pissed about.

"I thought we were friends." I rose.

She sneered. "So did I." She swept her leg out and swiped my feet from under me.

I used my body weight to jump up and land on my feet. I ducked in time enough to miss her kick. She punched out, hitting me in the shoulder. I grabbed her hands and shoved her back.

"Why are you mad at me?" I demanded.

She hit me in the face. "You lied to me about everything."

I blocked her next blow. "You're seriously mad at me for not telling you what I could do?" I ducked.

"I wasted time training you, Iris, because you didn't tell me the whole truth." She backed away from me. "We're done. No more training sessions. You don't need me anymore."

"But…"

She stormed past Oliver, who I didn't know was here. How much had he seen?

I let out a frustrated breath as he walked towards me. "I don't understand why she's so upset with me. So I didn't tell her that I could heal myself. I didn't tell anybody, not even Barry. He already knew."

He wore his stoic passive aggressive look like always. "Laurel has the right to be upset."

"What?" I gestured to the door. "You're taking her side?"

"You did lie to all of us. I'm not mad, but Laurel spent months helping you learn how to fight, how to protect yourself. And you didn't tell her about this. She feels responsible for your safety, to her if you get hurt it's because she didn't train you well enough. Now that we know you can heal yourself and come back to life she must feel useless. Trust me, I know the feeling."

Well, when you put it like that.

"Still, she attacked me. I don't understand why she's angry with me." I gaped. "She acts like I betrayed her or something."

He looked at me pointedly. "You and Laurel have a special relationship. She feels protective of you. She watches you to make sure you're okay. With Barry being around more, maybe she feels a little threatened."

My eyes rolled. "Why would she-" I paused.

He didn't give anything anyway as he said, "Apart from the fact that you died a few days ago and Barry was the one that was there for you after you woke up, I'm not really sure why she'd feel threatened." He gave me another pointed look.

Was this actually happening? Was he saying that Laurel was jealous of Barry? I mean, when I first got here and thought he was an asshat she supported me on that, but that was girl code. She always seemed okay around him, they weren't best buddies or anything, but I never thought she was jealous. Did that mean she had feelings for me?

I nodded. "Why are you here, Oliver?"

His eyes slide to the ceiling as he looked around the room before meeting my eyes. "I know Thea came to you for help."

I made a face. "It's not-"

He held up a hand. "You have my blessing."

I gaped. "I'm sorry, what?"

He gave a pained face. "You have my blessing to train Thea. I can't do it. She looks up to you and Laurel. I can't say that I'm thrilled about all of this, but if she follows in the footsteps of you two then I'll be really proud of her."

My emotions reached a peak. I hugged him tightly. "Thank you for believing in me when no one else would."

He hugged me back. "You made me proud. You made Barry proud, too."

I pulled away. "He's not so thrilled with me at the moment."

He made a face. "Yeah."

I froze. "You know?"

Barry told him about the rooftop? Everything?

He nodded. "Laurel knows. We didn't tell Felicity. She'd be very upset with you right now, too."

My hands ran down my face. "Why did he tell you guys?"

"He's worried about you. He can't always be here to make sure you're not doing something stupid."

I gave him a look. "Hey,"

He grinned. "Despite the gesture, what you did was really stupid, Iris."

I nodded. "I know. It won't happen again."

He squeezed my shoulder. "I hope so." He headed towards the door. "Maybe give Laurel and Barry some slack. You're not really making this easy for them."

"Thanks."

He waved on his way out the door.

For the next hour or so I worked out my frustrations and issues in the gym. The time alone let me clear my head and come up with a few solutions. Once I headed home to shower, I picked up Indian food from a place close to Laurel's apartment, then I made my way over there with the address Oliver gave me.

I knocked on her door. A minute passed and no one answered. I could see the light from under the door. She was in there alright. I knocked again.

"Laurel, open up."

After a few seconds she opened up with a scowl on her pretty face. "What do you want?"

I handed her the bag. "To talk." I entered without an invitation.

"Woah." I muttered.

Her place was nice. White and red walls. A red sofa. Mahogany furniture. A fireplace lit with several white candles. Definitely cozy.

"I like your place." I turned to her.

She walked to the kitchen and set the bag on the table. She looked at me with expectant eyes. "You said you wanted to talk so talk."

I went to her, a bundle of nerves. "You were right." I let out a shaky huff. "I lied to you." I ran my sweaty hands down my pants. "I just-I wasn't ready to tell anybody. I found out the day after you found me in that alley."

That seemed like forever ago now.

"I woke up and I was healed and my dad was still in the hospital. I couldn't even think about it, there was so much going on. Especially with Barry."

She made a face at his name.

Was she really jealous of him?

"I'm sorry I wasted your time. For what it's worth, I learned a lot from you." I took her in. Her blonde hair fell in curls past her shoulders. Even dressed casually in sweats and a tshirt she was beautiful. "I'm glad that we got to spend time together. I learned a lot about myself." I gave a wry laugh. I took a step closer. "And I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Oliver says you feel protective of me and that's why you got mad. Is that true?"

She seemed a little caught off guard as she bit her lip. "Maybe I did."

A bead of confidence filled me, I took another step closer to her. "You don't like Barry, do you?"

She made a cute face. "I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate him. I just think he keeps putting you through the wringer. Maybe you could do better."

I tried to hide my grin, but failed. "Yeah? Like who?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know. Maybe someone a little more like you."

I nodded. "Duly noted."

"I'm sorry about earlier." She looked away. "I didn't mean what I said. Forgive me?"

"Only if you eat this food with me." I grinned.

She laughed. "Deal."

We laughed, ate, and talked to the wee hours of the morning.

When it was time for me to go I stopped outside of her apartment. She leaned against the doorway, a foot taller than me.

"You know, you don't have to go home. You can crash here if you want." She offered.

I wish I could. "I have an early morning interview." I gave a sheepish grin.

She pulled me in for a hug. "I'm really sorry again."

She smelled like honeysuckles and cinnamon.

I hugged her tight. "It's okay." I pulled away. "I should've told you." I looked into her eyes. Then at her lips.

When I finally tore my gaze away she was staring at my mouth. My confidence from earlier made me stand my ground. All I had to do was lean up and we'd be kissing. Our breaths mingled.

One of her neighbors stumbled down the hall and into their apartment, ruining our moment.

I took a step back, afraid to meet her eyes. "Uh, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

I heard her door shut behind me. When I got to the steps my phone buzzed. Afraid that it was Laurel telling me to come back inside I reluctantly checked it.

Instead it read: Did you get a goodnight kiss? Here's one from me. XO – A.

I immediately called the one person I needed to hear from.

She answered on the fifth ring. "Iris? Are you okay?"

"Spencer, who's A?"

She went silent on the other end.


End file.
